Throwback
by MedicalNonsense
Summary: Be careful what you say around people who have flashbacks, you might get more than you bargained for. Too bad for Matthew, Gilbert is one of these people and he wasn't always such a "nice" guy. What is a man to do when his lover of 5 years goes postal?
1. All I Want is You

Guess what this is… Okay, yeah, you gots me, it's a new project, hoo boy. I took waaaay too long a break from a long project. But here you go!

Okay, for people who have read my stuff before, know that while this is NOT a sequel to Memory or Aftermath, many of the same rules apply. (For those of you that know what these rules are it brings tears to my eyes that I have such loyal readers) For those of you that have not read my writings before, know that sometimes these authors notes ARE IMPORTANT, sometimes they are not, but I will announce things within them that you would not otherwise know, so keep an eye on these. Anywho, my returners, as always I love you, my newcomers, well I love you too, and to JanesRedBottle, sorry to say it, but you're up again my friend!

Accents: I like them, I use them heavily, Prussia and Germany's have changed a little bit, Prussia's is a bit thicker than Germany's as he went a longer time in life without having to learn English (that doesn't mean he will be unreadable of course XD unless of course it is meant to be such)

Ooh! Beginnings of a thunderstorm outside, I love my state J (sometimes it's like a whiny, bipolar bitch though)

()()()()()

All I Want is You

"_If you were a river in the mountains tall,  
__The rumble of your water would be my call.  
____If you were the winter I know I'd be the snow,  
________Just as long as you were with me when the cold winds blow." --_Barry Louis Polisar

()()()

The older brother contemplated something within his hand, the younger could not see it though. He seemed to stare at it as if whatever was in his palm held all the meaning in the world to him. His everything was encompassed within it so tightly that if he were to lose it he would lose himself too.

A cold, March breeze blew in through the window, making the older of the two shiver. It was fucking March and it was _still_ snowing, what good was global warming if it didn't do away with such grotesque weather?

Finding his older brother's pensive state out of the ordinary, the blonde chose to look about the room from his seat. The house was old, creaky, but very homey. He didn't know why his brother chose to live here in this tiny town of about a dozen houses and a general store. The nearest large city was perhaps Schwerin and it was an hour away. Never had he pegged his brother for a country type when he had lived in Berlin for so long.

"_So, _Westen_, I have this idea…_" the albino started in his usual better-than-you tone.

"_Am I not going to like it_?" Germany asked, usually when his brother said things like "I have an idea" or "look at this" or even "what would you like to eat" something bad was about to happen.

"_I don't know. That's up to you, I don't have control over your thoughts._" Ludwig thought his brother's behavior very odd as of late. He had been spending more time away from his North American lover here in Germany. It was unnatural for Gilbert of all people to go so long without sex (the man's lover had complained to him via video conference) and even more unnatural to act mature for once. Gilbert had been _pensive_ was he considering breaking it off with his lover? Or was he considering doing something that could potentially be even stupider? "_It's a positively _awesome_ idea though, I assure you._"

"_I'll be the judge of that. What is this idea_?" Gilbert tilted his hand slightly so Ludwig could see the contents of it. "_Oh… I… Do you really think you should_?" A nervous rhythm had taken Ludwig's heart, a sense of unease resting in the pit of his gut like a catfish in mud.

"_I don't know, that's why I'm asking your opinion of it, brother._"

"_You would only think of this if you meant it._"

"_Is that your answer_?"

"_Yes, after so long, I doubt you're just itching for it._" Gilbert laughed and clinked the two objects around in his gloved-hand.

"_Well, if the great Germany thinks it's a good idea, I don't know what else to say against it. You've had a few bad ideas, but nothing that wasn't fixed with a bit of--_"

"_Shut up…_" Ludwig snorted, irritated as Gilbert just "kesesesed" his heart out. "_It's not funny_!"

"_As a similarly affected party _Westen_, I think I have the right to laugh._" Ludwig looked away from his laughing brother. Only _he_ could make two world wars seem comical. And even then, only in his sick, little, twisted ways. "_I'm off then_! _You might not want to try to talk to me for the next few days after this._" he punctuated his suggestion with a smirk and a suggestive snigger, making his little brother pinch the bridge of his nose.

"_I don't even want to think about that _Osten_._"

"_C'mon_! _Not even a little bit_?" A quick pelvic thrust in the general vicinity of his brother had the blonde blushing.

"_I'd rather be thinking of Italy._" And the mental image was swiftly drowned out by thoughts of the little Italian boy. Oh how gaily he frolicked within the German man's mind, oh yes! Watch him paint and pick flowers! Watch him--

"_Whoa_!_ Whoa_!_ Whatever you're thinking of, wait until I leave for fuck's sake_!" A sly smile came across Germany's face and he put a hand to his bulging groin. "_What're you… No_!_ You wait 'til I leave dammit_!"

"_Like you've never done this in my home_. _You aren't exactly the most discreet person in the world._"

Gilbert snorted, shoving his feet into a pair of boots. "_What is this word you speak of_? _Discreet, I believe it was…_?"

The blonde's brow furrowed at the look Gilbert was giving him. "_You're disgusting._"

"Ja! _And if you're going to whack one off, at least do it in my bathroom, unlike you, I don't clean constantly._"

Ludwig rolled his eyes, "_As if that isn't the most obvious detail about this place._"

"_I have to go, are you going to jack off a bit_?"

"_I think so._" Ludwig replied, his face turning a deep red.

"_Okay, don't overdo it._" Gilbert threw a bag of items over his shoulder and left.

()()()

"I don't know what t'do! He's been stayin' away more an' more often an' when he _is_ with me he always seems t'be in a bad mood!" Alfred began, sitting at his kitchen table. Matthew just took out a pad and pencil, beginning to scribble things down. "Y'don't think he wants t'break up do ya?"

The younger blonde bit on his pen and scribbled something else down before looking to America. "I don't know Al. I hardly know the guy. What do you think is wrong?"

"Hell if I know! We're just sittin' there eatin' dinner an' all the sudden he'll just start in on me!"

"Okay, about what?" Really, Matthew was kind of bored with this, he had come over to say hello and hang out with his brother for a bit, instead ended up playing his psychologist.

"Just… Ev'rythin'. I don't clean enough, I need to keep my mouth shut sometimes--"

"Alfred, just so you know, that last one is quite valid." Though it sounded as if Alfred's marital problems were similar to his own relationship issues with Gilbert. It didn't really matter though, so what if his love was a lazy, dead, good-for-nothing nation? He was happy with him and his common absences recently were beginning to worry him.

"So it is, I get it, but… He _never_ acts like this…"

"You're married now. Things are different Al." Matthew scribbled more down, thinking that he should maybe be worrying just a little bit more about Gilbert's absences. Was he wandering? In the end he scoffed at himself, Gilbert wouldn't do that… Would he?

"Somethin' the matter Mattie?" The smaller blonde jumped and looked to his brother, fixing his glasses on his nose.

"Uhm… No, nothing."

"No, no, I know that face. What were you thinkin' of?" Alfred reached for his cup sitting on the nearby coffee table. Picking it up and fixing his brother with a level stare, he took a sip. "C'mon."

"Al, it's not important… Have you maybe thought of _asking_ Kiku what his problem is?"

Alfred blew a raspberry in response, "Hell no. "

"And why not?" Canada pushed a loose piece of hair back behind his ear, thankful his brother had worse ADD than Gilbert.

"Well… I ain't a woman of course." Matthew deadpanned at his brother, an eyebrow climbing up his forehead.

"Wanting communication between two people is being feminine?" America swallowed, his little brother could be quite scary at times. He could be docile and maybe even ditzy when happy, but pissed off Canada was a man to fear. "I think you're forgetting who--"

America clamped his hands over his ears and began, "La-la-la! No! No! I don't wanna hear it!" The younger of the two sighed and rested back in his chair with the pad and pencil, scribbling down on it.

"Then don't say something that would provoke that kind of reaction. If you would truly rather not know--"

"It's not that I don't care, I just don't wanna imagine it." Matthew smiled and looked to the cuckoo clock on the wall. "Our session over?" Alfred joked.

"I need to visit Gilbert. I haven't seen him in a few days."

"Whoa, few _days_? What happened?"

"Nothing, he's just been acting weird, like you said Kiku has." Alfred twiddled his thumbs for a moment. Matthew knew what that look meant; America was actually _thinking_ before he said something. A sick feeling churned his stomach.

"No offense Mattie, but when a dude like Prussia does stuff like that, he's probably been off bangin' some whores." The pad and pen quickly met Alfred's face and Matthew jumped to his feet.

"You don't even know him! Shut up!" Quickly the older brother scrambled to his feet, heading after the younger as he stormed from the room.

"Wait! I didn't mean to--"

"Shut up, Alfred!" And the front door slammed before Alfred could stop him.

()()()

The door slammed and Prussia jumped awake from the couch. Groping for the knife in his pocket, a few seconds of disorientation followed as he looked about the room frantically for a threat. Finding none and hearing angry grumbles from the entry hallway he flipped it closed and placed it in his back pocket. A sniffle met his ears along with the grumbles and Prussia checked his other pocket to make sure the two items contained within hadn't fallen out during his nap. It would have to wait if Matt was in a bad mood. Stretching and cracking his back, he stood up from the couch and walked to the doorframe separating the living room from the entry hall. Matthew was busy taking his coat off, it had been chilly in Canada too.

"Vhat happant?" The blonde jumped at the sound of Prussia's voice and looked over his shoulder at him. Behind his glasses his eyes were grainy and red, his cheeks puffy and indicative of a prolonged session of crying. "Dit zomeding happan?"

Matthew shook his head, wiping his eyes and sniffling one last time, "I'm fine, nothing happened… How long have you been here?"

Looking to the clock on the wall, Gilbert scratched the back of his neck and answered, "I't zay aboud dree hours. Fell aschleep, voke up vhen you schlamt de door."

"Oh…" An awkward silence fell between the two. Gilbert had never been a man to console when someone was in a bad mood. He usually provided comic relief, but even he felt it a bit out of place to try for some laughs. Something was on both of their minds, one none too flattering and the other, well he still wasn't sure where it fell on the is-it-a-good-idea-o-meter. "Uhm…" _Where have you been?_ "How've you been?"

"Fine, fine… I uhm… I vas vid _Westen_, ahd my uh, coundry home, you know, dat place oudzide of Schwerin?"

"Oh, it cold there?"

"_Ja_, colt… Znow und ahll… Ducks god schtuck in de vader, _Westen_ chippt dem oud."

"Poor things."

"_Ja_…"

Matthew had never been very good at initiating sexual encounters between the two, but when upset, damn was he talented. It hadn't taken him much to get Gilbert back into the living room and to the couch. That was where Gilbert took over, occasionally Matthew felt as if he were being used by the Prussian. Anyone would when their lover was more given to closing their eyes during and looking to the ceiling, mumbling things in a language the other couldn't understand. It was only after several of these instances that Matthew learned from Ludwig just what Gilbert had been saying. Of course this encounter lead to a _very_ red-faced German, but a very flattered (and equally red-faced) Canadian. Gilbert (a very non-religious man) was prone to hailing God, thanking the great being for Matthew.

This time, however was not one of those times, Gilbert's red eyes bored into Matthew's soul. Not in a hostile way, his eyes had the ability to pierce the very essence of who he was. Like a harpoon pierces the flesh of a whale and stays stuck, sometimes anchoring it to the boat, so were like Prussia's eyes to Canada. Of course, just a little bit less painful.

Prussia stood afterward, smoking a cigarette and seemingly looking around for something that could have been dropped on the floor. He snorted out a puff of smoke and tapped the ashes off the end of the bit of paper into an ashtray. Canada, meanwhile, admired the view from behind. Sure he would prefer it if Gilbert could have been on the couch with him then, but he understood the couch was not comfortable for two people laying down.

"Gilbert?"

"_Ja_ Mattie?" It never got old to hear Prussia attempt the boy's nickname. It had gotten to a point where Gilbert no longer had to _try_ to pronounce the ts in it, but it still sounded funny coming from his mouth. Even when he had grown better at pronouncing it it still sounded more like "ma-ti".

"What did you used to be like?" The scarred, naked man looked over at his little lover on the couch, taking another drag on his cigarette and sighing out the smoke.

"Vhy do you vant to know?" Matthew shrugged and sat up, picking up the blanket on the floor and wrapping it around himself. He smiled when he noticed the disappointed look on Gilbert's face; a favored pastime of the Prussian was simply admiring the view.

"I'm just curious." Taking one last drag on his cigarette, Gilbert ground it out in the ashtray and joined Matthew on the couch.

"I schtill don'd know _vhy_ you vant to know, bud, I'll anzwer." The albino seemed to think for a moment, weaseling his way beneath the blanket. Matthew re-situated himself to lean on the warm man and Gilbert smiled down at him. "Fucking sexy." Canada laughed, nuzzling into his shoulder. "Jus' doughd you schoult know."

"Can you answer me?"

"I'm gedding to id! _Mein Gott_!" Gilbert's companion chuckled again and got himself comfortable. "Alrighd, to schtard ovf, you voultn'd hev liket me. I vas… How do you zay… Fucking awful comparet to today." The red eyes seemed so distant, his face serene, was he just lost in thought or a memory? "I only efer vantet to kill people. Sex it vas… Von of de bigger dings on my mint _ja…_ Bud id ditn'd madder who vid." Slowly his eyes became further and further away. He was reliving something, at least this something wasn't terrifying. If anything he seemed to relish it by the smile coming over his face. "I't take von look ahd anyvon und dey't zubmid demzelfs to me… Id ditn'd madder if I doughd dem attracdife or nod, id vas sex, und dat vas ahll I vantet."

Confused whether or not he should be afraid of something like that, Matthew asked, "How did you manage to keep it up if they were… Not the best looking?"

Gilbert threw back his head and laughed throatily, a different variation of his usual "kesesese". Managing somehow to calm down enough to speak he replied with "I vas _young_! I god ovf on de mere facd dat I coult do anyding I vantet to _anyvon_. Vell, any _human_. Id alvays fuschtradet me dat I coultn'd do de zame to oder nations. Austria has alvays hat a mean righd hook." Gilbert punctuated this fact by rubbing his jaw, as if he could still feel the fist connecting with the bone. The other just chuckled lightly, thinking of the aristocrat being harassed by the man and punching him. "Bud jus' zoh you know… Don'd _efer_ visch you knew me den… I don'd know vhat I voult hev done to you bud you voultn'd hev enjoyt id."

"What changed?"

The smile from before became something sweet, he was lost within a memory again. "I became a big bruder. I mean… I alreaty _vas_ von, bud… I guess I schoult more zay I became a fader. Ludwig, de _firsd _perzon who _acdually_ reliet on me… I vasn'd a general, I vasn'd dis… Big ding to be scart of, I vas his caregifer, de perzon who hat to prodecd him from eferyding bat. I hat to raise him to be schtrong--I ahlzo hat to keep him avay from Roderich, bud dat's besite de poind." Coming out of his memory he looked back to Matthew and his face screwed up at the look he was being given. "Vhat?"

"You're just a big softie."

"Noh I'm nod! De gread und _awesome_ Prussia ist nod zendimendal! Ist _nod_ a 'big softie'!" he snorted and Matthew laughed. "Ids nod funny! Schtoppid!" It was hard to make Gilbert of all people blush, but when it happened it was hard to resist doing what Matthew failed to resist every time.

"You're so cute Gil." Matthew nuzzled against the embarrassed man's cheek and kissed his earlobe. "I love you."

The embarrassment died and Gilbert frowned, turning to kiss Matthew's temple. "You too."

"Want to go to bed?"

"_Ja_."

_That didn't exactly go well…_ Gilbert reflected, laying in bed, his arms wrapped possessively around the small Canadian. _I wonder if they are still in my pants pocket._ As long as he got up before Matthew he was good, which he always did, usually he didn't move from bed for about three hours after that though (unless pancakes were involved of course). He woke up with the sunlight (an old habit that never died) but didn't move until his brain woke up fully.

Matthew shifted in his arms slightly, burying his face into the white patch of fuzz on Gilbert's chest. Gilbert had scarcely noticed, his brain was already beginning to float off into memories he would rather have left buried. They weren't bad or traumatic memories, no, if anything they were exhilarating and made him wish he could go back to then. Back to a time when he could kill freely, fuck whoever he wanted and cause trouble without the law against him. Such sweet and enticing memories. The frown from earlier returned; but that was all they were. Just memories, never to be lived again. All that there was to happen had happened.

His eyes slipped closed, a fuzz unlike sleep overtaking his brain and wrapping him up like a fine silk blanket. He drowned in his memories that night, pleased with every one of them.

A grin spread his lips in sleep and he was lost to the world.

()()()

Matthew was shaken from sleep, very violently to add. "Uwah!" His face hit the floor, the rest of his body following a split second later. "What in… Gilbert what's wrong?" Slipping his glasses back onto his face, Matthew stood and stared across the room at the frantic and naked man. Something was definitely up and it wasn't what Matthew had been hoping was.

A nasty, feral growl issued from Gilbert's throat as he fixed his hostile eyes on the soft Canadian. He took a few steps back away.

"Gil? Are you feeling alrig--"

"_Wo bin ich_?" he roared, cutting Canada short. Realizing that probably should have been important, and he probably should have understood that, Canada raised a curious eyebrow, his face apologetic.

"Gil, you know I don't understand German. English please?" The Prussian's face screwed up angrily.

"_Wer bist du_? _Sprich_!" Now sensing that something was _very_ wrong, Matthew made for his computer near the door. He had to dodge a Prussian coming at him though as the man violently threw himself at him.

"Gil! What are you doing?" The only reply he got was something violently spat at him before he had to dodge a blow from Prussia's fist. "Stop it!" It was when Gilbert reached for the keyboard of the computer and yanked it free of the rest of the contraption that Matthew knew he probably _wasn't_ dealing with the man he knew. "Oh… Crap." The subsequent swings of the keyboard at him each came closer and closer to hitting him with each swipe. "Sorry, Gil." Matthew whispered, wrenching a hockey stick from beneath the bed and nailing his assaulter in the groin with it.

The other fell to the floor, usually Gilbert would have doubled up from a hit like that, it barely even seemed to faze him this morning. It was as if he were used to it. Quickly he regained his footing and just all out lunged at the Canadian, grabbing the stick in his remarkably powerful hands.

Shoving the stick forward and knocking Prussia in the nose with it, Matthew successfully dazed him, taking his chance to swipe his cheek with the blade. Prussia laid on the ground, his temple bleeding and his body stretched out. His eyes glared defiantly up at the small Canadian, possessing no traces of any emotion other than pure hatred.

"What did I do?" Tears filled Matthew's vision and he threw down the stick to the corner of the room. He wiped the tears from his eyes and saw the confused look on his lover's face. "What?"

"_Wie kann ich dich verstehen_? _Ich kann kein Englisch… Wer bist du_?" The only thing Matthew understood was that Prussia was addressing him (no shit) and that he had said something about English.

"I can't understand you… If you are really insistent upon German I can get Ludwig on the phone…" Gilbert's face suddenly lit up, happiness or recognition, Matthew couldn't tell the difference between the two.

"_Kennst du Deutschland_?" Well, at least Matthew could gather he was talking about Germany.

"I know him. All nations are required to know one another." Prussia's brow furrowed again, partially in disbelief and partially in confusion.

"_Bist du eine Nation_?"

"I'm Canada." Depression clogged his chest, why did this _have_ to happen to him?

A big, proud, _narcissistic _grin stretched Prussia's face "_Ich bin das Königreich Preußen_."

_Well…_ Canada figured mentally, _I'm not really quite sure if things can get much worse than this_.

()()()()()

Notes:

"_Italics_!"--Denotes the speaking of a language other than English, when it is in English and italicized and the punctuation isn't it's a long conversation in another language.

Ja--Yes

Westen--West (is not translated in his speech since it is a nickname in its own right.)

Mein Gott--My god

Wo bin ich--Where am I

Wer bist du? Sprich--Who are you? Speak!

Wie kann ich dich verstehen? Ich kann kein Englisch--How can I understand you? I don't know English.

Kennst du Deutschland--Do you know Germany?

Bist du eine Nation--Are you a nation?

Ich bin das Königreich Preußen--I am the kingdom of Prussia

New readers, yes, you get frequent bouts of different languages, don't freak out, there will always be translations at the end of a chapter (but if it's a phrase used commonly don't expect the translation to show up more than once, like for "ja")

As my older readers might have noticed, it's a bit more somber than my two previous projects. Well, I don't know if I should say that as both of them had sad points, but this one (while not really sad) is sort of different. It's going to deal a little bit more with serious themes (though I am lost without comedy so there will be plenty of that as usual)

So! Serious first chapter… I was unsure if I should have put a bit more comedy into the first one, but hey, the first chapter should convey to you the general feeling of the story. Also (as usual for me) the first chapter is the shortest (most commonly) I cannot guarantee that chapters will remain below the 10000 word mark, but I am fairly confident in saying nothing will quite have a chapter as long as Memory's chapter seven. It may come close as I enjoy long chapters, but I will try my best not to torture you.

As usual, comments are my motivation, so if you enjoyed it, lemme know and you will get your chapters a little bit faster J


	2. Who Needs What

Who Needs What

_"God it's hard to be yourself  
____when everyone around you  
______thinks you're someone else_

_There's a cupboard full of dishes  
__and a fridge full of food  
__hell, I wish you needed me  
__as much as I need you" _--Jim Guthrie

()()()

Careful to give Prussia an ample berth, Matthew walked over to his bed and sat down, it only just then hitting him that he was still completely naked. When in the room with Gilbert, of course he wouldn't feel self-conscious, but this man wasn't really Gilbert was he? His face turning red, he crossed his legs as Prussia stood. It appeared that Gilbert never had been self-conscious, he had _always_ known just how good he looked. Well, perhaps in his early days this was just an overblown haughtiness and a swelled ego he was better than everyone else.

Prussia scratched himself a few times, yawning and grumbling something to himself.

"So… I guess you understand me?" Matthew asked the Prussian, he had to swallow a little bit at the look the man was giving him.

"_Ja_." That word that Matthew had grown to adore coming from the man's mouth now held a whole other tone and meaning. It seemed lofty and snobbish, _Prussia_ was too good to give him any more of an answer. Canada just wasn't worth his time. A sick feeling came over the blonde Canadian as the albino's eyes raked shamelessly over him. It wasn't in a way that he appreciated either. Prussia didn't judge him as attractive, just something fun to fuck most likely, a piece of meat. They were both already naked, what was to stop him from simply attacking the obviously less determined of them?

"I need to call Germany."

"_Warum_?"

"Shut up, talking won't do you any good if I can't understand you." Matthew stood, wrapping the sheet around his hips. "And stop staring, it's rude." A small noise escaped him and his nerve had been shattered into a thousand pieces by a single look. Prussia looked absolutely demonic from where he stood.

His lips peeled back in a disgusted sneer, "_Du_? _Befiehlst mir_?" spit flew across the room with his simple question. "_Komm her_!" he ordered, pointing to a spot in front of him.

"I understood that at least. Sorry, no." An angered roar issued from Prussia and it occurred to Matthew he had done something _incredibly _stupid. He had throw the hockey stick to Prussia's side of the room… The wielded stick came hard into Canada's ribs, a sickening cracking noise singing from at least two of them. He did little more than yelp, catching himself before his face hit the floor; a useless action though as the hockey stick beat into his back. _Damn it!_ Try as he did to push back the tears of pain, it didn't work and they dripped from his face to the floor.

"_Aufstehen_;_ ich befehle es dir_!" Canada yelped again as the blade of the stick contacted his ass "_Jetzt_!" The smaller blonde just whimpered, he didn't _need _to understand German to know Prussia wanted him to stand. He just couldn't do it. He didn't want to look upon that face that had been once so dear to him and now so foreign and hostile. "Nein?" the word was playfully accentuated, his voice growing sing-songish. A cold chill shot up Matthew's spine as he felt the blade press close to his opening. Even then, knowing it would be painful and that Prussia really _would_ do it, he didn't move. "Kesesesesese." The Prussian pushed.

"Gilbert!" Matthew slid out from under the stick and wrenched it away from him, hammering it into his gut and secondly into his groin. All the albino nation could do as Canada stood over him was blink in utter confusion.

What had _just_ happened? One second he's got the stick ready to do some mean torturin' and now here he is on his back with the little blonde wimp glaring down at him! What the fuck?

The stick was thrust into his face by said blonde wimp and the blade then pressed against his larynx lightly.

"Gilbert, Prussia, whatever I can call you after this… This is _my_ house, you have no power other than your own brute strength and my unwillingness to hurt you here. You have been my friend for a long time, but something tells me that doesn't matter to you because you can't remember it." Matthew sniffled but didn't bother to clean the tears that dripped down his cheeks. At this point he wasn't sure which of the pains was greater. His cracked ribs that screamed at him for attention or his heart being torn out. "Refrain from ordering me around and I will try to be nice--" A strangled yell was released from beneath the stick and Matthew pressed down harder, pressing his foot to Prussia's stomach a few inches from his groin. The struggling ceased. "I will try to be nice… We are going to call up your brother and discuss with him just what happened. Alright?" Matthew softened his press to the man's throat and waited for some sort of affirmative answer.

"_Was_?" the word was equal parts confused beyond belief and rage. Matthew pressed it back to his neck.

"Please, Prussia, I implore you. You are the most awesome man I have ever met, the least someone as awesome as you can do is humor me." The Canadian smiled adoringly down at him and a self-satisfied smirk curved Prussia's lips. Matthew sighed to himself internally, at least stroking Prussia's ego still worked. "Are we at an agreement?" Trustingly, he removed the stick completely and stepped off him.

"_Ja_, _ja_. _Wo ist Deutschland_?"

()()()

A ringing noise reverberated around the Berlin home, it was about 11:30 there and Germany was _still_ waiting for Italy to wake up. He had been considering just throwing him out of the bed, but that would lead to crying and that was more annoying than the sleeping in. Mumbling vaguely to himself, Ludwig walked into his office and tapped a button on his computer, the ringing stopped and an image appeared on the screen.

"Canada?" Ludwig asked, very confused. He hadn't been expecting _anything_ from either of the two of them for the next few days. What was more, Ludwig could tell the boy had been in some sort of fight and had been crying. "Vhat's de matter?"

"Your brother." the Canadian stated plainly. Was he naked? "Sorry I couldn't put on clothes, I don't trust Prussia." There was an angry noise in the background but Canada seemed to ignore it.

"Prussia? Vhat dit he do? Haf you been crying?"

"Prussia… Well, he's being Prussia." A haughty laugh in the background made Canada's eyes flick to the side in an irritated fashion. "And you would be crying too if Italy all the sudden started trying to kill you."

"Vhat?" Not _only_ was that a completely preposterous prospect, but what was up with Gilbert? "Vhat happent?"

"I'm not su--" Canada was shoved away from the camera and to the floor, Gilbert now occupying the screen. At first, he seemed totally confused about what he was looking at, he even examined the small camera before actually looking to the screen.

"_Ludwig_! _Is that you_?" Indeed something _was_ wrong… "_You look so old_!" Okay, _very_ wrong.

"_Yes, it's me… I've looked this way for perhaps over a hundred years now…_"

"_How are you in this little box_?" It was clear Prussia was tapping the screen.

"_I am not in a little box, I am on the other end of a camera. I will explain it to you how it works later, but until then… Are you feeling alright_?" Ludwig was _sure_ by now his brother had _some_ sort of amnesia.

"_Why wouldn't I_?_ By the way, where am I_?"

"_Canada. You were spending the night with him. You've been the best of friends for… What's it been_?_ Twenty years now_?" Five of which had been spent in committed bliss between the Prussian and Canadian.

"_Me_? _Friends with __**that**_?" The albino pointed off screen and down at the boy who was still laying down on the ground.

"_Yes actually, he is… Remarkably tolerant of you._"

"_I don't like how you talk._" Well, that was random. "_This strange accent you have and so irreverent_!" Germany's brow furrowed, it may have been the Prussia mentality of when he was a child, but it looked exactly like the irritating brother he had dealt with just a day prior. He had no fear of the man and never would again. "_Don't you give me that look_!"

"_Shut up, you are not my father. I_--"

"_What did you say to me_?"

"_I said you're not Germania; shut up_!"

At first, the look Prussia gave him was dumbfounded, "_Lutzchen…_" Germany jumped at the pet-name he hadn't heard since he was barely thigh-high to the man. He wasn't even sure how long ago that was. It was easy to get it out of mind though as Prussia's visage screwed up in fury. "_How dare you speak to me like th--_"

"_I'm not a child Gilbert, look on a damn map. I haven't taken orders from you in almost a century._" It would be a century in about nine years, but he wasn't telling Prussia that.

"_What_? _That's impossible_!" Germany could hear Prussia grip onto something, whatever it was, it was quickly giving beneath his strength. "_What year is it_?"

"_2010_..." And all the color drained from Prussia's face, anger at the younger man receding on a wave of disbelief. "_I'm sorry…_" Germany consoled, feeling ashamed for speaking to his brother in such a manner.

"_What happened…_?"

"_I don't know._" Prussia had always been prone to flashbacks, a drawback about his near-eidetic memory. Perhaps this was merely one that had refused to recede. Germany remembered that Prussia had suffered many flashbacks after the wall had fallen, but none of those were ever like this. Now more shame flooded his breast as he remembered always asking Canada to take the man off his hands when the screaming started. This whole ordeal would be painful for the Canadian in so many ways; he couldn't afford to act so callously again, he would _have_ to help.

An idea suddenly occurred within the German man's cranium, his eyes went wide and Prussia gave him a curious look.

"_What_?" he asked, wondering about the strange face his little brother was making.

"_Put Canada back on_." Germany ordered, his brain thinking over the formulated plan. The albino's eidetic memory was most likely the _cause_ of this problem, but it could also fix it too. Who else but Canada had Prussia spent the bulk of his last twenty years with? If he couldn't somehow get him to remember the past five, it would be a much easier task to at least have him remember they were friends.

Prussia complied to the order, but not without an irritated look. He grabbed the smaller man and yanked him harshly back in front of the camera. As Prussia walked away, Ludwig felt a tug at his heart as Matthew watched longingly after the leaving man.

At long last, the man on the other side of the screen sighed and looked back to Germany, "Well?"

"You're nod going to like it." Germany informed him solemnly.

"I'm over 100 years old, I can handle it."

Germany sighed and tapped his desk at first, choosing to fold his hands together before he began. "Vell, you can see dat he has a case of amnesia. Unfordunately for you, he is probably somewhere arount a decade or two before Vorld Var Von." Canada blinked at this assessment and his stomach tied itself into a knot.

"Wh-What?"

"_Ja_, I know… You do know you can gif him to me right?" He had to make that known, he wasn't going to leave someone who was practically his brother-in-law alone in the dark. Matthew was as much family to him as Gilbert was.

Matthew withdrew from the screen, looking never so disgusted in all his life. Give up on him just because he was a bit unruly? Fuck that; it was the stupidest idea he'd ever heard; and he had heard some…. _Most_ of America's ideas.

"No, I still love him, I can handle it."

"Don'd say dat vhere he can hear you. He finds oud you lof him, parton my French, bud he finds oud und you are screwed, figuratively _und_ literally." It was a true warning from someone who cared. Matthew was determined though. Maybe he didn't have to say he loved--"You haf to be hard on him. You gif him a single millimeder und he vill take an entire kilomeder, maybe two. Can you do dat?"

"I don't know… I can fight him off, but before just getting mad at him was enough." Ludwig rubbed his face thoughtfully, wondering what he could do.

"I vill visid ofden… Bud you hev to ged him avay from people. Bad dings vill happen if you don'd." Canada of course knew that "bad things" mean people would be killed, raped or even both. "Dere ist dis house oud here… It ist his house und all, maybe you coul--"

"No, I can only fight him off within my own confines."

"Bud I coult help you easier if you came here!"

"Isn't the house outside of Schwerin? In _East_ Germany?" Ludwig frowned, he'd forgotten his brother's retention of power. "Yeah, see? It's not that easy." Was it just him, or was Matthew becoming irritated with him? The way Ludwig saw it though, if he was, he had the right to be. "I appreciate the help; he being your brother and all," Oh, yeah, he was _definitely_ irritated. "I have to thank you since you have a lot riding on him too." Germany's frown deepened, Canada had a subtle way of calling people out on flaws when he was mad. If he was being subtle though, it meant that he was less mad at Germany and just in a general bad mood at this point. That could have been because of his labored breathing and the pain he was doubtlessly in.

"I unterschtand… Dit he hurt you?"

"He cracked two of my ribs." Canada sharply inhaled as his body moved the wrong direction and he bit his lip.

"I'll remember to bring someding for dat."

"Yeah… Thanks man… I need to get him dressed, he's wandered into the hall and I'm worried he might try to leave."

"_Ja_, go after him. I'll be ofer as soon as possible."

"Bye, Ludwig, you're a lifesaver." The German nodded to him and Canada clicked off his Camera. Germany sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, this certainly was a mess wasn't it?

"Morning Germany!" The blonde jumped and looked towards the door of his office to the Italian standing there. "What's for breakfast?"

"Noding, sorry. I haf to make a trip to Canada."

Italy stared at him oddly, tipping his head to the side, "Why is that?"

"You don'd vant to know." Germany stood and walked out the door, shouldering by the Italian.

"I wish Germany wouldn't be mad at Italy…"

Germany snorted, "I'm nod mad at you." and he continued down the hall.

"No…" Italy whispered and looked down at the ground, having not moved an inch from his spot. "Just disappointed."

()()()

After shutting off his camera, Canada walked to his chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of pants, gently slipping them on before walking into the hall. "Prussia?" There was a rustling from down the hall and Canada checked for a Taser in his back pocket. _Tasing Gilbert, what the Hell?_ This was so messed up in so many ways. "Hey…" Canada poked his head into the guest room. Originally, (at least for the past twenty years) it had been Gilbert's room; changing back to the "guest" room when the two decided to become more than good friends.

Prussia looked up from a pile of clothes he had been examining. His brow furrowed angrily but he didn't speak.

"Uhm… This is your room, just so you know… Those are actually some of your clothes…" Prussia seemed to work something up in his mouth and think really hard for a moment.

"Fuck you." he hissed. Canada's face deadpanned, at least he remembered _some_ English.

"You're welcome." There was a the familiar click of a gun and Matthew stared incredulously at the albino wielding it. At first he was able to hope the man had forgotten how to use it, but he saw the telltale tensing of the arm muscles and he flung himself just beyond the doorframe as a loud shot rang out. It hit him then that procedural memory was close to never forgotten within a bout of amnesia. He heard laughter and more shots burying themselves the wood of the wall, some ricocheting. Canada threw his arms over his head and waited for the magazine to run out of bullets. _Shit…_

"_Kanada_! _Was ist das_?" Matthew lifted his arms minutely to look back at the grinning man holding his handgun up like a joyous child. Well, as long as it was empty… Canada stood and held out his hand for it with a nervous smile. Prussia's eyes half-lidded and he crossed his arms stubbornly, his red eyes shining in a way that said "just you try". "_Waaaaaassss, iiiiissssst, daaaaaassss…_"he hissed impatiently, indicating the gun in hand.

"It's a handgun… Don't you at least remember the guns you had in your day?" Prussia nodded and examined the handgun again, his brow furrowing again as he searched his knowledge for a response.

"Nod dis."

"At least you can remember a little English…" To be honest, his initial inability to speak English had confused him and surprised him more than his recollection of the language. Language was something stored not just within the memory areas but within the whole brain. Generally, once one became fluent in the language it was hard to forget it even if the hippocampus had a slight relapse. "And, it is new… In fact, you bragged about it about a month ago when you got it." The albino's brow went up and he examined the gun once more, looking at it with more admiration. Matthew held out his hand for it again, "Can I please have it?" He yelped and fell to the floor as the Prussian put the gun to good use, cracking him over the head with the grip.

"Funny." he simply stated, looking down at the Canadian with a happy grin, "_Doch…_" a critical frown turned his brow down, "_Lerne leiden ohne zu klangen._" Now that sounded very familiar… Why? Why? Matthew searched the back-roads of his knowledge about the long-gone nation and hit the nation's virtues. This was an example of the virtue bravery without sniveling… Well, forget bravery, tears flowed freely from his eyes down the sides of his face into his hair. "Schtop!"

"What happened to loyalty?" A great gob of spit smacked him on the forehead and Prussia laughed, kicking Matthew's cracked ribs. He cried out against the abuse and took refuge within himself as he saw the leg muscles next to him tense again. _You really should quit while you're ahead… Am I even ahead? Are you dead yet?_

A loud knock startled them both out of their respective activities and Prussia glared down at Matthew, "Up!"

"You kicked my cracked ribs, give me a minute."

"Ant!"

"Yelling gets you nowhere faster." The Prussian stamped his foot angrily by Matthew's head. "Throwing a fit like a child doesn't either. Get some clothes on by the way. Your dick swinging in the air is distracting." Gilbert jumped at the comment and looked down at himself before at Matthew.

"_Schwuler._" he hissed, taking refuge in his room to pull on clothes. Canada actually found himself able to laugh in spite of the pain. The Prussia he knew was quick to call you a faggot but only in joking as most people would. Never had he seriously called Matthew gay during their friendship. It took but a single comment to get this Prussia in the know of things. Just as long as he didn't know the _full_ situation… But how could he not? They woke up in the same bed, both ass naked.

A resounding bang downstairs alerted Matthew to the fact that either A) his brother was here, in which case it was time to panic; or B) Germany had freaked out.

"Canada?" B was a much better choice and the most accurate, heavy footfalls pounded up the stairs and Germany stared down at him, prostrate on the floor. "_Mein…_ Are you alrighd?" The German man rushed to his side and knelt by him to help him up. "You're bleeting."

"I'm fine," Canada soothed, using Germany's help to sit up. "he's getting dressed in his room."

"No, you're nod fine. Your head ist bleeting--"

"I said I'm fine." Canada thrust himself to his feet, wobbling a little bit at first. Ludwig quickly stood after him to catch him should he fall. The Canadian could feel the warm blood leaking down the side of his head and coagulating in his hair. "Something else for me to clean up." Germany frowned and put his hands on the man's shoulders, Matthew shrugged them off and nearly jumped as Prussia strolled into the hall. "Gilb…" He stopped himself, the man in front of him was Prussia, not Gilbert. No matter how much he looked like him in his white shirt, black pants and Gilbird sitting on his head.

For the most part, Prussia just stared at Germany beyond Canada. He seemed greatly confused by something, but Matthew couldn't tell what. Suddenly he began to wonder where Kumajirou was, usually Gilbird and him were inseparable whenever Gilbert was here. Had he hurt the little bear when he fired his gun earlier?

"Oh shit…" Canada whispered to himself, gaining the interest of both the Germanic men. "Kumakiyo…"

"De bear?" Prussia asked, pointing into the room. Matthew jerkily nodded in affirmation. "Ist alife." Prussia's face screwed up when Matthew sighed in relief and leaned back against Germany for support. His ribs were hating him for standing and the blood flowing out of his head was beginning to make him feel a bit light-headed. "_Brother, you're so tall._"

"What's he saying?" Canada looked back to Germany for an answer.

"He's commending on how I'm taller den him."

"_Don't do that. This is a conversation between me and you_!_ Not the little ass-fucker._" Prussia growled angrily to Germany. All Ludwig did was sigh and look down at Canada.

"You sait someding ditn'd you?" he whispered, drumming his fingers on Matthew's shoulders.

"What did he say?"

"He basically callt you an 'ass-fucker'." Canada blinked up at Germany and stepped away from him, shrugging off his hands.

"I only said what I did because he needed to get his cloths…" he trailed off, swaying back and forth, desperately fighting passing out and falling to the floor. His legs gave out and Germany gently caught him. He didn't miss the glare Prussia was giving the both of them.

There was that momentary look of deep, nasty thought before he was able to say what he wanted, "Faggods."

"_Shut up, I have loyalty to my friends._" Germany shifted Canada in his arms a bit and picked him up. "_We are talking downstairs, hurry up._" Carrying Canada, he walked down the stairs and into the living room, Prussia following close behind. He set the smaller man down in an armchair and gave Gilbert a pointed look, "_Stay in here, if you do _anything_ to him, you have no idea what I can do to you._" Ludwig walked out of the room and across the entry hall to the kitchen.

"Freunds?" Prussia disgustedly hissed to himself, but it was also his best attempt at English, Canada was meant to hear the disapproval in his voice.

"To each his own, Gil." There was a quick "kese" from Prussia and he plopped down on the couch. "Think nothing of earlier in the hall by the way. I just don't like looking at people's things early in the morning."

"Jus' mine?" Prussia sniggered and a sharp pain in Matthew's chest made him gasp. It wasn't a true physical pain, but it hurt all the same and he had to stop himself from crying again.

"It was hard to ignore when I have been on the ground many times this morning looking up at you."

"Impresst?"

Canada chose to roll his eyes and mess with him a bit, "Not really, I've seen better in the shower." He allowed himself to smirk at the albino.

"Really?" he thought to himself a moment later and Matthew braced himself for some form of profanity, "Dat's nod de vay…." He paused once again to think. "I zaw id." Prussia waggled his eyebrows at him.

Matthew snorted in humor, his ribs growing angrier for the unneeded movement. "You know, if you could act like this all the time, it would be much easier for us to get along." he smiled at the man.

"I don'd vant to…. 'ged along'."

"Why not?"

Again with his look of intense thought, "I don'd like you. You ahre veak."

"I've managed to floor your ass a few times this morning."

"You'fe cryt."

"I'm in touch with my emotions."

"You ahre pussy!"

"Break it up!" Ludwig announced, walking into the room with a bowl of warm water (a washcloth contained within), a towel thrown over his arm and a roll of bandages. "Ve are all going to talk as rational adulds!"

"_Can pipsqueak leave_? _He doesn't have anything to do with this._" Prussia groaned in an annoyed fashion at his brother.

"Condrary to vhat you dink, he does." Ludwig made sure to correct him, walking up behind Canada in his chair and putting the towel on the back of it. "Lean your head back." he said to the Canadian.

He complied and allowed Ludwig to blot some of the blood out of his hair and clean the cut. Shifting a bit uncomfortably, he let his eyes drift over to Prussia, only to see the man was full-on glaring at him.

"So, to ged dis schtardet, Gilbert, dis ist your besd frient of de pasd two decates." Ludwig gently indicated Matthew, cleaning the profusely bleeding cut.

"Fuck dat. Liar."

"He ist. How he efer puds up vid you I vill _nefer_ unterschtand."

"Pud up vid me? _He should be down on his __**knees**__, begging for my attention_! _He is a worthless fighter, crying at the littlest of things_!"

Canada looked up at Germany for a translation and the blonde just waved him off, not looking up to Prussia as he addressed him.

"Some people haf backbone bruder. He can schtand up to you und back it up. I can see dat bruise on your stomach." Prussia jumped and looked to his stomach, pulling the ridden-up white shirt down to hide the purpling bruise. "He can'd be _dat_ bat of a fighter if he is able to hid you vid someding. Und his crying… Vere you nod paying attention vhen I sait you haf been his besd frient for tvendy years?"

"Pfft, vuss."

"Vell, ged uset to him, you're lifing vid him until you're bedder."

"_What_?_ No_!_ I refuse_! _There is nothing wrong with me_!"

"Vhat ist de last ding you remember?" Prussia didn't answer and grumbled childishly to himself, looking away from them both. "1890s vhereabouts? Do you remember de Gread Var?" Again he didn't respond to his little brother. "See? Dere ist someding wrong, you are schtaying here until you remember it. Someding tells me you'll probably like him by de end of dis orteal."

"_I doubt that. What would ever come over me to make me friendly with _him_._" Prussia complained, indicating Matthew with a vague wave of his hand.

"You't be surpriset." the only response Ludwig received was an annoyed groan and he moved on to wrapping the wound on Matt's head. "So, ged up."

"Vhy?"

"Jus' come here." Grudgingly, Prussia stood and meandered over to the two, standing in front of Matthew in his chair, but looking only ahead at his brother. "Now, holt oud your hant to him."

Growling, Prussia complied.

"Introduce yourself." Prussia sighed and opened his mouth to speak, "**Looking** at him."

The man slowly looked down at the offending yet unobtrusive blonde and held out his hand to him again, "Gilbert Beilschmidt, Kingdom of Prussia." he gave Matthew his best evil glare possible.

Canada only smiled sweetly to him and took his hand, shaking it slightly, "Matthew Williams, Canada. It's a pleasure to be properly reacquainted with you, Prussia."

"Ahre you dat loozer'z boy?" Prussia asked, reclaiming his hand from Canada and putting it disgustedly in his pocket.

"Francis? Yes, I'm his and Arthur's son… America is my older brother."

It seemed to take him a moment to process this as the only thing Prussia did for about five straight seconds was blink once… Very, very slowly. "Ahre dey fucking?"

"On and off." Matthew preferred _not_ to think of their parents doing anything like that, but they were people after all.

"How long dit id take?" Canada looked up to Germany who most likely would know the state of affairs between them the best since he _was_ part of Europe after all. He tweaked a curious eyebrow at him.

"I voult normally say Vorld Var II… Bud I vas dere enemy, so I voultn'd know for sure." his face was beginning to turn red, he would have preferred not to think of this either.

"I think they were too… So it took until about the late 1930s at earliest."

Prussia _slowly_ blinked again. "_Took them long enough, damn they were slow._" Germany couldn't help a smile, that did indeed sound like his brother.

"What did he say?" Germany had long finished tying up the wound on Canada's head and he was now requesting to look at the cracked ribs.

"Sait it took dem long enough. Dey vere slow." Canada shifted slightly in his seat to better show his ribs to Germany. It was a painful endeavor that made tears prick at the corners of his eyes, but he could bare it. "Your hockey schticks can really do a number on people…"

"How'd you know it was a hockey stick?"

"You largely use von to defent yourself, if you forgod about it he voult pick it up." Was it really that easy to see that was exactly what happened? "… No offense, you're jus' a bid absend mintet…"

Matthew sighed and laid limp in his rather uncomfortable position, wincing when Ludwig pressed a bit too hard at the wound. A loud gurgling noise alerted them both to the man sitting on the couch. A smile could not be suppressed and it was reflex for Matthew to ask, "Want some pancakes?"

"_What is a pancake_?" Prussia asked his busy brother.

"It's someding dat tastes really goot vhen made by Canada."

"Did he just ask what a pancake was?" Matthew forlornly asked, wincing again.

"_Ja._" "There might not be hope then…" Ludwig managed a smile at the joke, but really found this a _very_ inappropriate time to be making jokes. "Well, shall I introduce him to them?"

Ludwig gave his brother a questioning look and Prussia shrugged.

"_By your reactions apparently I'm supposed to like them. I couldn't have gone down too far in my awesomeness meter… Of course… Then again, you said I'm supposed to be friends with that…_" he gave Matthew another of his irritated looks.

"**Him**." Ludwig corrected, helping Canada to his feet. "You'll find plendy to like aboud him before long."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here."

"Sorry." Ludwig apologized, motioning to Gilbert to follow them both into the kitchen.

Upon entering the kitchen, Canada looked back to Ludwig, "Hey, do me a favor, reach up into the cabinet over the stove and pull me a cookie out of the box up there, would you?" Ludwig nodded and did as asked while Canada took out all the ingredients and implements he would need to make pancakes. After being handed the cookie, he quickly devoured it, hoping the chemicals within would work quickly. At the look Ludwig gave him he frowned a little bit, "They make…" his eyes flicked to Gilbert who was sitting at the table and then back to Ludwig "Rainy days seem just a little bit better." _Also sex-filled afternoons just that much more fun…_ Matthew somehow allowed himself to chuckle in spite of himself.

"Vhat vas dat look?" Prussia asked, Matthew cracking some eggs to mix into batter.

"Nothing. It's not important I guess."

The German behind him couldn't help a frown, "I neet to talk to you alone."

"After he gets his food." They both nodded in agreement and Prussia just looked confused.

()()()

"I really don't think it's wise to leave him alone in there with the maple syrup…" There was an excited and incredulous noise from within the room the two strolled out of. At least it didn't matter _what_ time period Gilbert's brain was from, he still loved pancakes.

"Don'd vorry. Can'd be any vorse dan vhat he's done to my kitchen vid only a spatula."

"You'd be surprised what he can do to mine with but a single egg…" They both laughed, Matthew wincing and his laughter dying after a short amount of time. "But… What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Alrighd, you already know dat _Osten_'s memory is virtually photographic, _ja_?"

"How could I not? It's what causes his flashbacks… Also most likely the only reason he consistently remembered me in the beginning." Canada confirmed as he slowly lowered himself down to his couch. Germany joined him a moment later, making himself as comfortable as he dared.

"Vell… I vas dinking. He ist prone to flaschbacks, ve know dat, bud he has tvendy years of memories vid you insite his head. So, de longer you schtay around hi--"

"I'm going to stop you there. Gilbert has described his memories as… Silent movies. He remembers all of his experiences with startling accuracy, but… He rarely remembers anything of what people said. Reason why when I told him to get groceries three weeks ago he was about to leave and then got distracted by Gilbird and forgot." Ludwig blinked, now that Canada was explaining it really did clarify why his brother never really did anything he asked him to. "He also, says that unless they were important or struck him in some way, their faces don't matter. He could pick them out in a crowd, but if he were to try to remember them of his own accord he can't. Many times he has told me he has had sex with thousands of people but doesn't remember a thing about any of them. Of course, when all he has ever had sex with is whores I understand why he wouldn't deem them necessary to remember."

"Vhy ist dat a problem? You two did plendy togeder."

"Nothing extremely… Safe for me to replicate. We've been chased by police, I've been coerced into stealing from a convenience store and getting caught, we've been _attacked_ by a neighbor's dog because Gilbert _insisted_ that he _must _pet it; and of course there is the me yelling at him to clean up more often, the food fights we get into, the drinking we do together, smoking weed, making cookies, pancakes and the…. Well you know…"

"Vell… Okay, I can see vhy you don'd vant to redo de police, stealing und dog dings, bud… Vhy nod drink? Or do veed? Vhat aboud de cookies und pancakes?"

"Gilbert has probably done weed with a lot of people a lot. Same thing goes for drinking, you're his little brother. Cookies… Do you really think _this_ Gilbert is up to making cookies with me? Or wanting to be involved in making pancakes in any way? I had hoped the maple syrup might do something, but considering he hasn't exactly sprung up and apologized to me for nearly breaking my ribs, I don't think it's working. And the… That… Well, that's out of the question."

Ludwig stretched out his arm and laid his hand on Matthew's shoulder. The smaller blonde just shrugged the hand off and covered his face with his hands. A quiet sob met Ludwig's ears and he could do nothing as another part of his family fell to pieces.

()()()

Gilbert, meanwhile, sat in the kitchen, sitting at just the right angle to see into the darkened living room. The little pussy was _crying_, God, what in the world had _ever_ possessed him to be friends with that? He was pitiful! Couldn't even take a gun to the forehead! He grumbled to himself, cutting off another syrup-soaked bite of pancake and sitting it in his mouth. At first, he sucked on it, savoring the sweetness of the syrup and then swallowed the soft bread. A weak, little crybaby he might've been, but he was obviously good at this whole pancake thing. Maybe he _would_ go along with this for just a little bit. As long as there would be pancakes and he would continue being weak, this would be wonderful. And once he had broken the child's spirit? Well, maybe he could have some _real_ fun then. He wouldn't even dare cry to Ludwig after what _he_ would do to him. Yes, it was a perfect way of looking at things. His pants grew tight just thinking about it.

He unzipped his pants and worked himself free, imagining the boy screaming for mercy, crying in pain! Bleeding! Oooh!

"Hey! Vhat are you doing in dere?"

"_Trying to wank off_! _What's it sound like_?" a moan slipped from his lips, there was a certain amount of satisfaction knowing his brother and that little wretch could hear him from where they were. Even better knowing he would _definitely_ not be cleaning up his mess. He let his eyes slip closed and gave himself to his imaginings again.

However, he was interrupted by the sound of swift feet and a suddenly loud bang on the kitchen table in front of him. He jumped, his eyes shooting open and looking straight at a _very_ pissed off Canadian.

"Gilbert! I've told you a _thousand_ times! **No** jacking off in the kitchen!" He swung the hockey stick downward at the Prussian who jumped from the chair before it could hit him. "We _eat_ down here for crissake! You use the damn bathroom!"

"Id's my haus too!" the Prussian hissed angrily, not sure _why _he had said that.

"The last time you said that I could actually agree with you, but in this case I can't. If you are looking to blow a load, either A) use your room, B) use the bathroom, or C)…" This was where he couldn't continue his original come back. He _wanted_ to say it to see what would happen, but if he did, it would get him nowhere good. "Get out of my sight." he whispered, having run out of tears by now, only the first day and it was already this bad.

"You ca--"

Matthew banged the stick on the floor hard enough to snap it in half, "I said; **get out of my sight**!" Feeling fear for the first time since he could actually remember, the Prussian scrambled to his feet, not even bothering to put himself away and ran upstairs to the guest room.

Germany had watched the exchange from his spot in the living room and stood, walking over to Matthew, he felt too sorry and too afraid to touch him., "I'm sorry… Bud ve neet to moof him…"

"I know." Matthew's voice was inflectionless, tossing the useless end of the stick away. "When would be the best time?"

"You can knock him oud."

"I don't want to see him right now."

"I'll do it den…" Germany started for the stairs and stopped at the foot of them. "If I vere you, I voult pick up his clodes you lefd lying in dere on de floor."

"I will…" Ludwig nodded and ascended the stairs, pulling out the tranquilizing gun he had had belted at his side the whole time.

Kumajirou, Gilbird sitting upon his head, pulled at Matthew's pant leg, asking for attention, or was he asking what was going on? He hadn't been listening. The bear just sat at his master's feet, staring up at him, his coal-black eyes holding the most emotion of worry they had ever. Of course the blonde didn't see them.

As the sounds of a fight upstairs broke out, Matthew found himself able to do nothing other than stare at the barely half-eaten plate of pancakes.

()()()()()

Notes:

Warum--Why?

Du? Befielst mir--You? Order me?

Komm her--Come here

Aufstehe; befehle es dir--Get up; I order you to!

Jetzt--Now

Ja, ja, wo ist Deutschland--yes, yes, where is Germany?

Lutzchen--Not a real nickname, I'm sure, but this is a work of fiction, basically a diminutive of a diminutive Lutz--Ludwig --chen (a diminutive sort of denoting "little", so Little Lutz or Little Ludwig)

Kanada! Was ist das--Canada! What is this?

Waaaaaassss, iiiiissssst daaaaaassss--Whaaaaaaat iiiiiis thiiiiis (This note is only here because of spelling similarities for the words isst (eats) and dass (that/lest)

Doch--But… (has other meanings)

Lerne leiden ohne zu klangen--Learn to suffer without moaning

Prussian Virtues-- There are many of them and I will not list them all some of them are, Humility, Sincerity, Godliness, Courage, Bravery Without Sniveling, Self-effacement (Be more than you see to be), Loyalty, Self-denial and Subordination. I will leave each of you to discover the irony of these XD

Schwuler--Gay (Slang)

"They make rainy days…"--It is well known that in my fanfics, Canada loves his Mary J. Cookies, in previous ones they are because he used to be depressed or because he is, these are just recreational : )

Osten--East (Prussia calls Germany "West" it should only follow suit Germany should call him "East")

Okay, ahem, yes things will get better, trust me on this one. But remember, as with anything, it must first get worse before it gets better. Now, when I say that I mean Canada's situation will get worse… I don't have much more to say at the end of this chapter but the usual things of if there are errors I would like people to point them out and reviews are always welcome.


	3. Hallelujah

Yeah there was no note the last chapter, bet y'all were happy.(--actually does speak with that accent) But there is one for this one so hah. As it turned out as I was writing this, I read an email by my friend who seemed able to read my mind about what some of the content of this chapter would be about O.o it was a weird moment and I was able to use one of the quotes she taught me XDDD Aaaaaanyway, y'all don'' wanna hear all else I wanna say so, here ya go.

()()()()()

Hallelujah

"_Well baby, I've been here before  
__I know this room, I've walked its floor  
__You know I used to live alone before I knew you.  
__I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
__And love is not a victory march  
__It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"_ --Leonard Cohen

()()()

They smelled like him. But why shouldn't they? He had only worn them the day previous, he'd sweated in them even and they still smelled good. It wasn't like Gilbert was dead though, the Gilbert he knew was just sleeping. The one he had just met was asleep too in the back of the car. Okay, more like knocked out. Matthew shifted the blue uniform in arms slightly and held it closer, wiping his red eyes on it.

It had been decided that Ludwig would drive. The past two hours, it had taken close to nothing to make the man break out into tears for minutes at a time. He couldn't be allowed to drive with emotional instability like that. What also had been decided, was that Germany was going to spending the first few nights with them. He would leave during the day only to take care of serious political issues back within himself. Matthew was just going to be stuck with a man he didn't know a thing about.

"Was it necessary to shoot him like that?" the blonde asked for the third time since they had begun their journey to his other home.

Germany sighed and kept his eyes on the slowly thinning road, "Yes, it vas. Do you honesdly dink he voult hev _villingly_ gone vid us?"

"If you explained it maybe…"

"Vell, he voult vant to know vhy. Und vhen ve gafe him a reason he voult hev rejectet de idea _den_. Besites, it's easier dis vay. He von'd know de vay oud of de voods since you lif a vays off de road."

"I guess you're right…" Matthew fiddled with a button on Gilbert's uniform and shifted it again, swearing he heard a jingling sound within. It was impossible and even if he had heard something, it was probably only change. The man was too lazy to empty out his pockets.

"Does he hef clodes dere alreaty?" Ludwig asked, attempting to fill the silence.

"Yeah, we come here sometimes just to get away from the people." Matthew replied, Ludwig turning the car into a small parking lot at the side of a thick forest.

"Are you sure dis ist de place? It looks like a national park to me…"

"I declared it one, it just so happens I live here too." Germany blinked in confusion, why hadn't _he_ ever thought of that? Canada stepped out of the car, still clutching the uniform close and closed the door behind him. Meanwhile, Germany reached into the back of the car and extricated his brother from it, throwing him over his shoulder. He tossed the keys and Matthew caught them without word, locking the car a second later.

"Uhm, do you hev food?"

"No, I--"

"Vell, I'll drop him off und go ged us some food den." They both agreed to that arrangement and began the hike to the house. Germany was worried for Canada, it seemed like he was starting to go invisible on him, something he hadn't done in at least seven or so years. Of course there was also that his ribs were in bad shape and he had lost a fair amount of blood earlier. He didn't make any noise suggesting he was uncomfortable with the hike though. Then again, Germany didn't really expect Canada to complain, he wasn't the type to complain about something so superficial.

The hike was long and quiet, the both of them just listened to the birds chirp and the animals wander about the forest. Canada was sure he caught Germany eyeing a deer or two as if he wanted to take out a muzzleloader and go at it. He and Alfred should have hung out more often, they both enjoyed hunting. Canada himself could never really get into it considering he had a little bear living with him. Speaking of said bear, he was trundling slowly after his master, Gilbert's little chick nuzzled firmly into the fur of his head.

"Hm, Matthew, vhat's dat noise?" Surprised at hearing Germany actually call him by his name, he looked over his shoulder at the taller blonde questioningly. Quirking an eyebrow he listened for what could possibly be distressing the man.

"Oh… You mean that low rumble?" Ludwig nodded and Matthew smiled. "Waterfall, we're close." Matthew took a turn to his right, preferring to go up a more inclined area of ground than a flat one. They hiked for a bit longer, Germany's arms and legs beginning to tire. They came upon a sizeable lake, perhaps a dug-out one by its nearness and small connection to the river that headed swiftly down to the waterfall they had heard. Although, it seemed odd to create such a thing when the large house by it was rarely used.

"How long has dis been here?" Ludwig asked, looking at the old-appearing house and shifting Gilbert on his shoulders a little.

"Long time." Matthew responded simply without inflection of voice.

Upon opening the front door, Kumajirou immediately rushed in and made himself at home on the couch in the front room. Matthew almost smiled remembering the first time he had come out here with Gilbert, the man collapsed on the couch, panting and complaining the place needed escalators.

"Ist dere a place for me to schtay vhile I'm here? Or do I jus' hev de couch?"

"I have a guest room, but I want Prussia to stay there obviously."

"Couch den. It's righd by de door too. I'll know if he tries to leaf." Matthew nodded and watched Germany put Gilbert down on the couch next to the polar bear. "I'll be back as soon as possible." the taller man announced as he turned to leave. "I'll call you if I ged losd."

"Sorry, there's no reception out here."

Ludwig stopped in his tracks, "Oh… Vell, I'll jus' hope I can remember how to ged here den."

"Good luck." And Germany was gone, leaving Canada alone with Prussia again. He sighed tiredly, looking down at him. Some of their most romantic times were spent in this place, hopefully it would help him remember _something_ about them. "You hungry Kumakoko?"

The bear nodded and Matthew walked to the kitchen, thinking Gilbird was probably hungry too. What in the world did Gilbert _feed_ the bird though… Maybe he would at least remember that when he woke up.

Matthew was surprised to find a few eggs left in the fridge, mostly because they weren't spoiled. Removing an iron pan from the cabinet, he sat it on the gas stove and ignited it, letting the pan heat up. The bear would eat anything, but Kumajirou was actually quite fond of eggs. He returned to the fridge to find something to lubricate the pan with and found nothing.

"Oh… That's possibly an issue." Now he was _hoping_ Germany remembered butter. Shrugging, he moved to check out the cupboards, finding nothing remotely useful aside from a pot of honey. "Eggs and honey…" He looked down to the bear that was pawing at the cheeping, yellow fluff-ball and smiled. "You get to try something new."

"What?" he asked, catching Gilbird beneath his huge paw.

"You'll see." The bear nodded and went back to playing with the now angry bird.

Dripping a little honey into the hot pan it sizzled immediately and Matthew was quick to throw the eggs in (sans shells of course). Quickly he scrambled them, adding a bit of honey as needed.

The end result? Well, it wasn't exactly a basket of fruit to say the least. He gave his wrist a flick in an attempt to move the food about in the pan, rather distressed when it didn't move an inch. Well, one more pan forever seasoned with something unpleasant. Unless… He got out a small plate and scraped at the cooked on eggs and sugar, finding it quite funny when it all slid out in a great plate. It reminded him of a sweet Frisbee actually.

Smiling, he offered it to the bear. Initially, the white ball sniffed at it and gave it a test lick before cringing away from it and turning his nose up. He picked the bird up in his mouth and walked away with it, it squeaking about being covered in bear drool.

Canada snorted and extricated a fork from the drawer nearby, stabbing into a piece of egg and prying it away from the main blob. Eggs were most likely not meant to crunch, but for some reason, it only added to their odd charm.

"Little S.O.B. These actually taste good."

"No one cares what… What's your name?"

"You've remembered my name fine recently!" The bear just blinked and stared at him blankly, licking the bird between his paws. "I'm Canada…" he sighed dejectedly. It was nice while it lasted, but nothing lasts forever. Shifting in the next room alerted him to Prussia's awakening. Screwing his gut to a sticking point, he walked into the small living room. "Hey."

"_Ugh_, _mein Kopf…_" Prussia grumbled, holding his head. His eyes fell upon Matthew and his face warped to show his anger. "Vhere de fuck ahre ve?"

"One of my houses."

"Vhere ist Ludwig?"

"Getting food for the fridge." Matthew skewered another egg and chewed on it.

"Vhat… Dat looks nazdy."

"It's eggs and honey." Prussia looked at him critically and managed to get to his feet. He paced over to the boy and wrenched the plate from his hand. "Alright, you can have it…" Matthew offered the fork which Prussia took.

At first, he showed more interest in his fork than his food, flipping it idly around his finger. His eyes swiftly flicked to Matthew though and he caught the fork in his palm, gripping it as if to stab. Matthew flinched back, clamping his eyes shut as Prussia made to strike at him with it. This of course was met with laughter.

"I rader like dis Englisch vort, pussy. Gread vay to descripe you." Prussia commented, picking up an egg with the fork and eating it. "Hmm, crunchy, I like." Matthew just sighed and headed back for the kitchen. "Ged back hier."

"No, that was my lunch. I need to make myself something."

"Ditn'd you zay Ludwig vas gedding foot? Cahn'd you vaid?" Matthew stopped, drumming his fingers on the counter of the kitchen.

"I could ask you the same question." he started, turning to face Prussia. "I fed you earlier and I ate nothing. I made that for my bear, but he didn't want it so it's mine."

"Zayz who?" Prussia raised a challenging eyebrow, taking another bite of eggs.

"No one of importance I guess."

"Dat's righd. Kesesesese." The sounds of fingers drumming became louder and Prussia's face took upon a decidedly sterner tone. "Nod liking de attitute." the albino warned, putting another piece of crunchy egg into his mouth.

"You'ree in my home, I do not care."

"Do I neet to teach you to care?" Matthew's brow furrowed but he kept his temperament in check. "Vhat's _dat_ look mean?"

"It means you of all people are completely incapable of teaching me anything of true value." Prussia ground his teeth and a dangerous smile made his facial features just all the more threatening.

"You dink you're bedder dan me?" The fork in his fingers was beginning to bend around them.

"No, we just place our values in different things."

Prussia snorted and made a rude noise, "Holier-dan-dou-ard attitute!" A glimmer of silver and the fork was flying, Matthew side-stepped it shakily, missing it as it became embedded within the wall. "You dink you're bedder dan me! No--"

"Prussia! I said I didn't! You're acting like a--"

"Chilt? Hah! You're jus' lying to avoit a fighd because you** know** you'll lose!"

"No, I'm being honest _and_ avoiding a fight, because I don't want to fight you! It's stupid!"

"Because you ahre a veak liddle rund dat vill be cruscht!"

"Shut up! Really? Really, Prussia? Do you honestly _think_ everything has to be done for you because people fear you?"

"How does dat efen _begin_ to relade?" Prussia's ire was really up now, he stepped into the room, his muscles beginning to tense for a fight.

_Better think fast…_ "I'm choosing not to fight with you, saving us _both_ some time, energy and some bruises and you think I'm only doing it because I'm going to lose to you."

Prussia tipped his head to the side, angry, but a bit confused. "Vhat oder reason do you hev to refuze?"

"I don't _like_ fighting, can't and not liking to are different things. I wasn't born to do it like you were. I am a peaceful person, but I can still defend myself from people like you." The albino tried to wrap his head around the concept Matthew was attempting to explain; failing miserably mind you. "Wouldn't you rather have someone choose not to fight you because they like you as opposed to because they feared you?" Well, that had done it, he had _completely_ lost the Prussian.

"You're retartet." he snorted, rubbing his head. "I don'd haf--"

"And you've been lying to yourself." Attempting a strong exit was a failure as once Matthew made to turn around, the plate and crunchy eggs flew at him, "Eek!" he threw himself to the floor and covered his head as the plate shattered and blasted shards every which way, the eggs sticking to the drywall as if they were tumors. _Shit, leave it to you to poke directly at his feigned emotionless state._ Truly he had expected the man to start kicking at him and yelling, but once he uncovered his eyes he saw the man staring into space. "Gil?" his voice was hopeful as Gilbert blinked and looked himself over, flexing his muscles as if there were something new about them. He looked at them in awe, a grin spreading his lips. "What is it?"

Gilbert shook his head and looked back to Canada, a decidedly merrier tone in his voice as he spoke, "Noding of conzekvence to you."

"Well… At least you sound happy." Matthew forced a smile and stood up, brushing off his clothes and wrapping his arms around himself. "Uhm… What do you want to do until Ludwig gets back?"

"Noding vid you." Prussia's eyes went back to half-lidded boredom and he wandered out of the kitchen back into the living room. "You cahn clean up dat mezz you mate dough."

Sighing and tugging at his hair, he supposed the mess really was his fault and went to find a broom.

()()()

"Prussia!" Matthew called out of the kitchen. Hearing no answer, he tossed the last bits of the plate and eggs he scrubbed from the wall and walked into the living room. "You still here?" Panicking when there was _still_ no answer he darted around the lower level of the house and found nothing. Quickly, he dashed up the stairs and searched up there too. "Shit." he cursed beneath his breath and scrambled into his room and to the balcony, looking about the area. "Oh God…"

"Knog, knog." Matthew jumped, his breath catching in his throat and spinning around to look at Prussia standing in his bedroom door.

"There you are!" he stormed angrily back into the house and slammed the glass door behind him. "Why didn't you yell when I asked where you were?" the blonde stood up to his full height and yelled down at him.

Tweaking his eyebrow, slightly surprised the boy was taller than him, he pressed his face into his, making a menacing a smile as possible, "I vas in de mutter-ficken badroom." spit met Matthew's cheek and he wheeled back in disgust. Prussia just chuckled to himself and put his hands in his pockets.

"I see…" Try as he did to keep himself from blushing it was impossible and in the end Matthew collapsed back onto his bed. "Your room is down the hall. Green carpet." The cold sting of Prussia's stare made him twitch uneasily and sit up. "What?"

"Large bett fur a pipskveek…"

"Where are you going with this?"

"I'fe zeen de room you zay ist mine… De bett ist zmall… Who neets more room?"

"Does it matter? You are _my_ guest Prussia--"

"Und schoult you nod be polide to guesds?"

"A guest needs to be respectful of the owner of the house." Prussia snorted, a spray of something ejecting from his nostrils. "Ew…"

"Schtill vant de room?"

"I've had worse fluids staining this carpet." he commented, standing up.

"Efer been your blut?" Prussia asked with a smirk, his eyebrow raising and his eyes gleaming.

Matthew folded his arms across his chest, a smirk of his own coming over his face, "Yes actually, you wouldn't want to know why." _You just get so enthusiastic._

"You bring your _whores_ heir?"

Matthew chuckled, "No, whores aren't worth my time, male or female. I'm committed."

"Yuck, more disgusding den I doughd."

"To which part of that?"

"_Commiddet_, vhat's de poind of dat?"

"_Weeeell_, you never have to teach someone what you like ever again. If they are decent at what they do, well, they should be happy to do it."

"Bud id's… De _zame_ perzon ofer und ofer."

"Some people _like_ having emotional attachments Prussia." The albino snorted and rolled his eyes as if it were the most overrated thing in the world.

"Undignifite."

"What is?"

"_Lofing_ somevon." Matthew began to pace towards him, his easy steps making Prussia back from the room a little bit.

"What's undignified about it?"

"De zame perzon, you're vid dem more dan vonce und dey know you."

Canada blinked, a bit confused, "Uh, d'uh."

"Noh, you're nod lisdening, dey _know_ you. Dey begin to know vays of how to ged to you."

"They learn your weaknesses…" a smirk pulled at Matthew's lips. "Sounds like someone's afraid of getting hurt to me."

"Afrait?" Prussia spat at Matthew's feet, disgusted at the very _idea_ of him being afraid of anything. "Vhy be afrait of anyding vhen you cahn jus' kill dat vhich scares you?" a smirk of his own twisted his lips and Matthew caught the gist. It didn't seem Prussia ever waited for "natural causes" to kill his bedmates. "Vhat's de use of humans anyvay?"

Though he was horrified, Matthew couldn't look away from the man, he_ needed_ to know more, "How did you kill them?"

"A schvort up de arsch vorks vell, geds a nice scream. Making dem schvollow zomeding ist amuzing too." Matthew winced at the idea of such things. All the worse, he could imagine the man doing it to someone. A man tired, in pain and spent beneath him… He had to remind himself to keep control over his stomach.

"Humans… They die on their own though. Why make their final mistake in life all that much worse?"

Prussia gave him a bored look, "Id's fun." he stated as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world. "Besites, gifs dem a bid more excidemend before dead. If dey vere a solider, dere dead vas from a schvort, de besd vay to die." Prussia had obviously never had to deal with the horror of falling asleep with a living, breathing person and waking next to a corpse the following morning. Not if he had always done that. Or perhaps it was just Prussia's way of defending himself from such a thing. Surely when the man was _younger_ he didn't enjoy it. Before he became part of the order of Teutonic knights, when he was a young man… Or perhaps someone had told him and he had truly never experienced it… No one had told _Matthew_ that before his first time. After crying and crying he asked China about it, too embarrassed to approach either of his parents or his brother about the problem. Why hadn't Arthur or Francis told him? Why hadn't Alfred? _"It's something that must be learned through personal experience, aru." _Horrible way really. He stopped thinking of the subject before it headed to places he'd rather his memories not go.

"I suppose one could call it a poetic death…" _If you don't go too into depth about how he died by the sword exactly…_ "Horrible way to die still."

"Who cares vhat you dink? You vill nefer hev de honor of dying like dat. Too digifite for a _Schwuchtel_ like yourself." Matthew was getting mighty tired of being called offensive words pertaining to the homosexual nature in a language he didn't understand.

He snorted in indignation, "The way you talk it sounds like you should count yourself among these people."

"De vay I talk?"

"You speak as if most of your 'conquests' are male."

Prussia frowned as if he had never considered his past actions as anything homosexual. Most likely, in his mind he didn't, it was just a way of punishing them that made him feel good, "De soliders, bud, dey vere insubordinate, liddle fuckers. Ve hev a zaying '_Gehorsam ist eine Tugend_'." Canada snorted as he realized Prussia wasn't even going to bother explaining it. "If dey performt admirably in dere lasd battle-"

_Oh how poetic_, Matthew thought as Prussia continued to talk, "dey vere killt by de schvort, if nod… If dey screamt und beggt, vell, de middle of de camp vas alvays empdy." The younger blonde couldn't help but swallow at such imaginings, _raped_ by their leader if they disobeyed… Killed with honors if they took it quietly, put out on display if they cared about their lives.

"What did you do if they liked it?"

Prussia's brow furrowed, this seemed a very alien concept to him, Matthew seemed particularly talented at introducing these, "Who who vas a true solider voult? De liddle panzies vere ahll veetet oud in de beginning." Matthew couldn't help a mocking smile, "Vhat?"

"Do you think _Ludwig_ is a pansy?" His counterpart growled and suddenly left the doorway, grumbling angrily to himself. "Wait…" Canada followed after him, "You knew?"

"He has been fucking infaduadet vid dat fucking Italian zince he vas schtill de Holy Roman Empire! I doughd he't grow oud of id vhen he forgod efryding, bud vhen he became Germany… Italy schtill zeemt to remember him. In his own schtupit vay. Ludwig…" he sighed.

"You can't help it…" at first, he felt bad, then something tickled the back of his brain, "Hey wait a second, didn't you tell him you don't remember World War One?"

"I ditn'd efen know dere vas a vorlt var…"

"Then how do you know he's still in love with Italy? From what he's told me _he_ didn't even know until after World War Two…" Prussia tugged at his hair in thought. His hand reached back into his back pocket and he groped for something, making a frustrated face suggesting he had no idea why he did that. Matthew, however, recognized the gesture. "Want a cigarette?"

"_Ja_…" The Canadian walked back into the bedroom and opened the drawer containing the stale-smelling clothes of his love. He fished his hand into the crammed pile and extracted a box of cigarettes, taking one from the box and putting it back where he had found it.

"Here." Prussia took the cigarette and Matthew held out his lighter, letting him light the end of the bit of rolled paper. Taking a few puffs to start, Prussia thought again.

"Zoh, Ludwig ist in lof vid Italy?" he sounded almost appalled that his brother would do such a thing.

"Yes."

"Ahre dey fucking?"

"No."

Prussia released what sounded like a relieved breath, "Vhy nod? Ditn'd you zay dat dey vere in lof?" his words were accented as if they alone could make him vomit.

_I never said "they"._ "It's complicated."

"_Schwule_." the word was almost used fondly as he rolled the tube between his fingers.

"Why do they get the nice word?" _Well, nicer._

"Because Ludwig ist de only lifing family I hev lefd." Prussia sucked on his cigarette and let the smoke float lazily from his open mouth.

"How noble of you."

"Vant to keep your face den schud de fuck up."

"It could be easy for us to be friends you know…" The Canadian felt it his place to say as he grew more comfortable by leaning on the wall. He knew he'd already said it, but it was worth a try to do it again.

"You're too fucking schtupit." Another drag off his cigarette and he walked away, pointedly ignoring the boy.

Canada sighed and turned to head downstairs, not sure with himself why he was bothering to keep trying. Of course he loved him, but this wasn't the man he loved. This was the man he was never supposed to meet.

Walking into the reading room to the left the stairs (the entrance room being to the right) he looked about the various shelves for something to read. Ah, good old _Desert Solitaire_, some part of Edward Abbey just truly appealed to him. Hearing about the desert of his brother through the eyes of one of his inhabitants that preferred the desert to some place large and bustling like San Francisco intrigued him. In this respect he was a bit like Abbey, liked human company but preferred absences of paved roads and smog. Somehow though, Abbey's attitude towards many things just reminded him of Gilbert.

For what seemed to be the thousandth time that day alone, he sighed, rolling his eyes at himself and opened the well-worn and dog-eared book.

()()()

Of course it didn't take him long to fall asleep. Strangely he didn't dream, well, not that he could remember, everyone dreams after all. And, as most unplagued sleep is, it was peaceful and relaxed.

Peaceful up until the point Matthew had the air driven from him and a cold wetness biting into his skin. At first he coughed and gasped for air, rolling from his stomach and agonized head to lay on his back, still fighting for air. He was totally unable to even tell where he was until his wind came back to him (this was only after several minutes of his gasping and clawing at his clothes). From what he could tell of his wet clothes, and the smell of fresh mud, he was outside and on the ground. Once his eyes came into focus, he saw that he was looking up at the stilts of the veranda at least twelve feet up. Upon the veranda? Who else but Prussia was standing there, laughing his ass off and smoking another cigarette (Matthew guessed by how long it looked).

He coughed again, finding his voice hoarse and nasty, "What the Hell Prussia?" His ribs screamed at him and it seemed his fall had only exacerbated their pre-existing problem. At least his being a nation prevented further bone injuries, or a concussion. The albino upon the veranda only laughed harder, his "kesesese" echoing around the area over the roar of the nearby waterfall. "Trying to kill me now?"

"Noh, I knew you voultn'd die, I jus' vantet to do id."

"Did you _seriously_ pick me up and drop me off the side of the railing?"

"Vhat does id look like Sherlock? Damn, you're a heafy schleeper!" Well, that could be easily explained really, he was _used_ to being picked up and carried while he was asleep. It was a common thing to fall asleep at his desk while doing paperwork, whenever this happened Gilbert would always carry him back to their room. After it happened so many times he just had gotten used to it.

Mumbling something to himself, he began to curse that he never had put in some form of staircase from the ground up to the veranda. So, he attacked the muddy hillside, slipping many times and successfully coating his front in mud. Upon reaching the top he groaned tiredly. He obviously hadn't been asleep long enough for even one sleep cycle if he was feeling this bad, so less than an hour and a half.

Germany was making good time then, the man looked to Canada from the path he was upon, over-laden with canvas grocery bags he must've had at least six upon each arm. It also appeared that he had fed his belt through a few of them because there were about three hanging from his waist. Wonders of being a nation such as himself. Whether he was only using his human strength or an amount of his nation strength Matthew wasn't sure, didn't matter, either way the food had gotten there.

"Vhat happened? You look terrible." Ludwig would have helped him up, but he was currently playing the role of a beast of burden.

Matthew forced himself up from the mud and blew his _ahoge_ out of his face, brushing what bit of mud he could from himself, "Prussia dropped me off the back porch while I was sleeping." he motioned backwards to the barely visible side corner of said porch.

"Vhat? Vhy?" the German man nearly dropped some of the bags.

"He wanted to see what would happen and I'm used to him picking me up when I'm asleep." Matthew explained as if it were no big deal. "I need to change clothes and you need to get the groceries in." Ludwig nodded to him and Matthew walked the rest of the way up the path his friend had been following and opened the front door. A surprised noise escaped him and he hit the dirt, a cast iron frying pan flying out of the house. "Ludwig, duck!"

Germany looked up just in time to see the object flying at him at smash into his forehead. The nation was out instantly and fell backwards upon the slope.

"Oh my God! Ludwig!" Matthew ran to his side and dropped down next to him, seeing the pan had ricocheted off his forehead and had been flung off into the woods somewhere. "Ludwig are you okay?" he shook the man's shoulders and got no response. Well, it was clear he was out cold, but he was breathing so nothing to worry about for the moment. Next on the agenda, inspecting his forehead. It was bleeding where the lip had contacted the skull. "Prussia! Get your ass out here _**now**_!"

Reluctantly, the Prussian poked his head out the door and saw what he had done, "Oh fuck."

"'Oh fuck' is right." Matthew mocked him in a deeper voice, turning back around to tend to Germany. Two head wounds in one day lots of emotional bruising and three fractured ribs, Prussia was doing alright for himself.

"Don'd you talk to me like dat!"

"Then shut the Hell up and get your ass over here!" Looking rather indignant, Prussia paced over to the Canadian tending to his wounded brother. "What in God's name were you thinking?" the younger man's Quebecois accent was beginning to poke through into his speech. "You do **not** throw cast iron skillets! I **swear**! I haven't seen you act **this **idiotic since the last time you tried to look up Elizeveta's skirt! At least **that time** the _correct_ person got the frying pan to the head!" at this point, he began to curse in French at the Prussian and relieve Germany's prostrate form of the bags he was carrying. "--And you **will** carry these into the house or I will be directly monitoring **everything** you do." he thrust the bags at Prussia and the slightly intimidated man took them from him, before leaning over and taking a few more.

Once Prussia had gone inside the house, Matthew leaned down and grabbed Ludwig's arms, turning him around and dragging him (and more groceries) the rest of the way up to the house. Of course the mud didn't help any. Once getting the German to the door of the home, he took the rest of the groceries off him and set them aside, even the ones attached to his belt. Prussia walked in just as he had gotten off the man's uniform coat and started on his pants.

"Vhat ahre you doing?" the Prussian looked as if he were caught between merely kicking the man or killing him.

"Calm down homophobe, he's covered in mud, I have to wash his clothes." Prussia narrowed his eyes at him in distrust as Matthew unzipped Germany's pants the rest of the way and began to work them off. He had already throw off the man's shoes and set them just outside the door so his pants came off easily. "Move him to the couch, I'm going to go put these in the laundry room"

As Canada left, Prussia stared down at his little brother. He was a much different man than he remembered. Of course, the man he remembered was barely at his shoulder now he was taller than him. From just beneath the blonde's black undershirt, he saw a multitude of scars poking through, well, what nation wasn't scarred? Even the younger Germany he had known had scars, not quite so large or extensive ones but they weren't totally absent. Out of the scars he could see, Prussia could only name one or two's cause. So much history upon his brother's skin and he barely knew any of it.

Leaning down, he gently picked him up, thinking that this whole thing must be some sort of bad dream. But everything was far too real for his liking. The bruises on his groin and on his stomach, the light scratch marks on his back he had examined in the mirror as Canada slept earlier… All the new scars _he_ had… He couldn't name even a sixth of the scars he had found upon himself.

Being very careful, he set him down upon the couch and brushed a bit of free hair off his forehead. Canada would probably agree to wrapping his head for him later. Though he was a wuss he cared about the man's health and would probably yell at Prussia to go away and he would care for him. An unhappy frown settling on Prussia's face he stared at Ludwig; the only person he would ever admit having emotions to or for. Though he acted different he was still his little brother. He sighed and leaned down, kissing the profusely bleeding cut upon his forehead, licking the blood from his lips a moment later.

Canada strode back in a moment later, a look of discontent on his face and Prussia glared at him, "Dis ist your fauld."

"Hardly." Canada sneered and fixed his glasses on his face. "I wasn't the one throwing pans at their landlord. I also wasn't the guy that missed."

Prussia's lips curled up, his tongue running over his teeth as a bestial growl slid from between them and a feral look came into his eyes. How he so badly wanted to just choke the inoffensive Canadian to death.

"Calm down, he's not dead and it's hard for me to stay mad at you."

_Why is that?_ Prussia asked himself internally. Most people, when they didn't like him _looked_ for reasons to stay calm, why did it come to this boy so easily. Why was he always so ready to deal with him? _Perhaps I am still like this now? He's used to me? No… He seemed appalled earlier._

They spoke nothing more on the subject and Canada helped put all the food away, only scolding Prussia lightly and correcting him where food was stored. It was obvious enough Matthew was a good man, he said he was committed even. Usually, when Prussia had come across them, committed men were only too happy to speak of the ones in which they were. Praising their wife's beauty, telling stories about them, not that Prussia had given Canada the chance to do such things, but he thought it odd she had never been mentioned. Yes, she, he couldn't really take the boy as a true Oscar Wilde type, it seemed such a nasty affair to be in a sexual relationship with a man the way one would be with their wife. When it came to Francis and Arthur, he could believe it. He saw it in them from the first moment he witnessed them fighting.

Slightly he wondered which woman Canada was with, there weren't very many female nations back when _he_ was young for Christ's sake. He had mentioned Elizeveta, Hungary… If he really _was_ with her, Prussia had more than enough reason to want to kill him.

"What are you staring at?" Prussia was long past the point of jumping when he was surprised and merely looked away.

"You're zoh exceetingly ugly, I cahn'd help bud schtare."

"Thanks." Canada rolled his eyes at him and made himself a bowl of cereal since everything had already been put away. Walking from the room, he picked up some bandages Germany had bought while at the store and stepped over to the man laying on the couch. "Prussia, bring me a warm washcloth."

Seeing no reason to be unpleasant about Canada tending to his brother's needs, Prussia complied without snark or complaint. He handed Canada a wet washcloth a moment later but he sighed and looked to him.

"I said warm, but whatever." Prussia snorted with indignation and dropped down to the armchair to watch. Canada carefully washed the bleeding wound; most likely he was mentally chastising himself for not attending to the wound earlier, before putting everything away. But Germany was in no immediate danger of dying therefore it had been alright, just rude. "Bowl of water please. _Warm_."

Rolling his eyes and cursing at the man, Prussia stood and walked back into the kitchen, fishing around in the cabinets for a large bowl. He turned back to the faucet and inspected the side marked with blue and the side marked with red. Blue probably meant cold water and red was probably warm. Turning the handle in the correct direction, he turned it on and filled the bowl to a reasonable level with water before walking back into the front room and sitting it on the coffee table by Canada's arm.

"Thank you." Canada said politely, dipping the blood-laden washcloth into the warm water. Prussia continued to watch him, such care he took in attending to Germany's cut. Never would he ask what his connection to the man was that made him care so much, but it intrigued him. Canada didn't seem like the type to seek out Germany as a friend, he didn't seem the type to seek out _Prussia_ as a friend either. No matter how much he had changed over the years, Prussia couldn't imagine himself friends with a man so wimpy as Canada.

After cleaning the cut Canada lifted Germany slightly to sit behind him, propping him up upon his chest. Carefully he wrapped Ludwig's head and taped the wrap firmly to itself to prevent unraveling. Sitting the German's head back down on a pillow as he stood, Canada looked to the clock on the wall. The sun was setting so really he had no reason to look as he knew it was at least seven o'clock. Where had this terrible day gone?

"You hungry again?" Matthew kindly asked, taking a bite of his cereal.

"Noh."

"Good, I don't feel like cooking and you'll destroy my kitchen." Matthew deserted the German brothers in favor of his books in the reading room. He was happy to see that when Prussia had picked him up earlier that he had left the book sitting in the chair he'd fallen asleep in. Now he didn't have much of an interest in reading anything by Abbey and just put the book away on his shelf, rooting through it for something new. Aldo Leopold? Nah, he was someone to read when you were so bored that even the driest of writers could interest you. Elie Wiesel? No, depressing story, both of the German brothers were in his house anyway. Tired of trying to pick, he slipped a book at random from his shelf and looked at it, _A River Runs Through It_? Sure, why not. The story the book got it's name from was only about a hundred or so pages long.

Going through the story he knew so well it made him want to get back to fly fishing himself. He had never been able to properly teach Gilbert how to do it (strangely enough). Gilbert was more of a bait fisherman and even then he was terrible. He was more talented at taking large sticks and impaling the passing fish as opposed to waiting for them to come to him. So much energy for someone so old, it made Matthew smile. The smile was broken though as he realized exactly _why_ Gilbert was more talented at such a thing. Would Prussia enjoy fishing with him? No doubt Gilbert had formed plenty of memories of Matthew trying to teach him and eventually Gilbert giving up and reverting to his stick method.

That was when he decided it, when he would trust Prussia a bit more with sharp and long objects, he would take him fishing. He smiled again, the idea probably wouldn't work, but it would at least be a fun endeavor.

Prussia poked his head into the room then, a look of irritation on his face, "How do you schtant dis… Jus' noding to do?"

"You mean 'boredom'?" the Canadian said with humor, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Vhatefer id's callt! How do you schtant id?"

"I'm not bored. I have my books." Matthew explained, licking his finger and flipping a page. Prussia growled and seemed to debate something within his head, "Whatever you're thinking of doing, it's in your best interest not to do it. You're not the only one with strength in this situation."

Prussia glared at him and left the room again, somehow or another that simple comment had deterred him… That really didn't seem like Prussia at all, but as long as he wasn't causing trouble, Matthew didn't care.

()()()

"Mmmng… Canada?" Matthew blinked at the grainy voice. He'd been reading for the better part of an hour and it was now dark outside. Prussia had gone upstairs awhile ago and hadn't troubled him since. He figured maybe the man had gone to sleep or something as he had been very bored indeed.

Putting his book down, he stood and smoothed out his clothes, walking into the front room, "You're awake, that's good."

"Ugh, vhat hid me?"

"A frying pan ironically enough."

"Ist Hungary here?"

"No, Prussia did it, that's why it's ironic."

"Oh." Germany closed his eyes tightly and rubbed his head as he tried to sit up. "Ve neet to talk aboud arrangemends."

"Okay, shoot." Matthew said, sitting down across from Ludwig upon the coffee table.

"Ugh, I'fe chosen to schtay for dis first veek. Den I'll leave."

Canada clicked his tongue in throught, "Three days." An outraged look came over Germany's face and he hissed, "Vhat ist your problem? Six days at de fery leasd!" Not frazzled in the least by Germany's anger, Canada continued on, "Five, no more."

"Vhy?"

Matthew's eyes slipped to half-open and he fixed Ludwig with a stare that told all the German needed to know. Ashamed, Ludwig looked away, putting his elbows on his knees and holding his head.

"Dat vas so long ago…" he sighed remorsefully.

"I know, but it was your choice." Matthew said in a detached voice. "And it's not so much about that. He has plenty of memories of you, you might give him something to cling to mentally… You could hold him back."

Ludwig's face seemed old as he took upon a more morose voice, "I vant to make up for it… I'fe changt… I hev."

"Sorrys don't work now, it was decades ago and wounds have healed. But you can't expect me to trust you in this. I love you as I would a brother Ludwig, but… I just don't know right now."

"I feel like I'fe been a bat family member…" Ludwig sighed, "Cahn I at leasd _try_ to make up for it?"

"Not now."

"Bud dis may be de only chance I--"

"No! You gave him to me to take care of as I would a sick child a long time ago! You wouldn't help him then and you can't help him now! I'm not saying your willingness to help this time won't count for something but… I'm sorry Ludwig, I can't let you stay any longer than five days."

Ludwig pursed his lips and then licked them, looking away and down at the floor though his fingers.

"I don't mean to make your life anymore miserable than it already is… But…"

"I know, I know, it's okay."

"I'm sorry… You know I am right? I don't like raising my voice and I don't mean to hit old spots so hard, I just want what's best for Prussia right now."

"I know, he ist pracdically your husbant now." Neither of the two could look at each other. "I'll schtay for four days. Okay?"

"That's fine."

"Jus' do me von fafor?"

"Sure."

"Cahn you sent me an update efry day?"

Canada thought for a second, it wouldn't be a bad idea, besides, though he hadn't been the most responsible, Germany _was_ his brother, "Do you mean a video conference?"

"_Ja, _if dat's preferable."

"Alright, we have a deal." Matthew stood and Ludwig after him, the two shaking hands. "Are you hungry?"

"Noh, jus' tiret."

"I wouldn't recommend sleeping, you could go into a coma."

"I'm nod human."

"Well, don't risk it." Germany nodded, seeing the logic of this. "I'm gonna head to bed, make sure Prussia doesn't leave and all. Oh, and send me a wake up call at sunrise maybe? I take it Gilbert's habit at waking with the sun is as old as Prussia."

"Yes it ist and I vill do dat."

"Thank you." Matthew lightly hugged his practical brother-in-law, "If you get bored I have a TV in the reading room, you can go for a run, I have books for you to read uhm… Yeah, just try not to fall asleep okay? If you like coffee have some."

"Vill do."

"Okay, good night."

"You too." Canada trotted up the stairs then, realizing it probably cruel to leave Germany alone to himself for the whole night. But spending it with him would probably have made it worse.

()()()()()

Notes:

Ugh, mein Kopf--Ugh, my head.

Schwuchtel--Faggot (Basically, it's the only equivalent I can think of for the moment; Slang; highly offensive)

Gehorsam ist eine Tugend--Obedience is a virtue (Can also be read Submission is a virtue)

Desert Solitaire--Written by Edward Abbey published originally in 1968 recounts the times of the author as he served a summer as a park ranger in Natural Arches National Monument.

Aldo Leopold--D.O.B. Jan. 11, 1887, D.O.D. Apr. 21, 1948 was a professor at the University of Wisconsin and best known for the book Canada was considering reading _A Sand County Almanac_, grandfather of modern environmental ethics.

Elie Wiesel--D.O.B. Sept. 20, 1928. Jewish survivor of WWII his book _Night r_ecounts the portion of his life living within the Nazi camps Auschwitz and Buchenwald.

A River Runs Through It And Other Stories_--_Written by Norman Maclean originally published in 1976 the main story that gives the book it's name is about the author in his thirties, it mostly concerns fly fishing on a philosophical level, much more interesting than it sounds.

Yes, if I mention authors and their books I will explain them, I don't like leaving people in the dark in such a way. Yep, third chapter already done, today was gloomy, it was nice while the thunderstorm lasted but then yeah. Oh, went to see the play Dog Sees God, R rated Charlie Brown parody. It was really good and CB plus Schroeder… Wh00t!


	4. In Too Deep

No animals were harmed in the making of this chapter; okay, maybe theoretical ones XD Also, sorry this one took longer than expected, I went to something in the waaay Northern part of my state (5 hour drive!) and stayed there the weekend. Didn't bring my comp with me and there was no internet access anyway so yeah. I also had a hectic week, and the 21st and 22nd was Extreme Theatre (24 hours to write, build and put on a stage show. We put on three this year btw) Once again, sorry and here is chapter 4.

()()()()()

_Seems like each time  
__I'm with you I lose my mind  
__Because I'm bending over backwards to relate  
__It's one thing to complain  
__But when you're driving me insane  
__Well, then I think it's time we took a break_

_-_Sum 41

()()()

The blonde took in a deep breath and exhaled, still too much asleep to giggle as fine hairs tickled his nose. It was enough for an unwitting smile to grace his otherwise grim features, though. He nuzzled sweetly into the warm and familiar-scented shock of hair, his mind still very much a captive of light sleep. His brain was forced to come out of sleep however as he picked up a gasp from the peripheral of his hearing. Blinking his eyes to wakefulness he could have sworn for a moment that he had gone blind. Sure it wasn't classic blindness as everything was white instead of black, but it engulfed his whole field of vision. It wasn't until the whiteness shifted that he realized something was wrong with this picture. He shot up in bed, desperately groping for his glasses on the bedside table, all the while attempting to be as quiet as possible.

After successfully putting them on, he examined the other sleeping next to him. Oh it was Gilbert alright, as naked as he usually was when he slept. Was yesterday a dream?

Desperately hoping for this to be true, he examined the body before him and found exactly what he didn't want to find; obvious bruises from a hockey stick impact. Sighing, he reached up and felt the cut on his head and his spirits plummeted. Another day living with _Prussia_, not Gilbert.

Movement to his right alerted him to the person that had torn him from sleep. The owner of the gasp, Germany. He looked quite disturbed to say the least. Giving Prussia one last forlorn look, Matthew very carefully extricated himself from the bed and quietly paced over to the other blonde.

"When did this happen?" he whispered, motioning backwards towards the Prussian occupying his bed.

"Nod de faintesd of ideas." Ludwig replied, looking from Matthew back to his still sleeping brother. It was a little bit before sunrise if the albino was still asleep, and a good thing too. Matthew really wouldn't have enjoyed another morning like yesterday's. "Vhat ahre ve going to do for today? Someding tells me he's nod going to vant to schtay insite all day."

"I don't know, but just take it one step at a time. Start small work our way to big."

"Vell den, vhat's 'schtarding small'?"

The smaller blonde forced himself to smile as he was sure this would normally be a time to do so, "Making pancakes of course."

()()()

Upon arriving downstairs, Prussia said nothing about waking up in the room he had not originally fallen asleep in. Most likely he was counting his blessings that Matthew had not awoken at the same time he had.

"_Guten Morgen Westen_." he grumbled tiredly to his brother, yawning thereafter.

"Goot morning." his brother responded in kind, taking a bite out of some bacon Canada had made for him. The Prussian's eyes rolled over to the stove and the man standing in front of it. His hair was tied back into a kerchief, he looked like a woman Prussia decided.

"I don't get a good morning?" Matthew said quietly, not truly offended as Gilbert never usually wished him a good morning. Once again though, something about his dialogue struck him as odd and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what. Something was just off. He shrugged, thinking it nothing.

"_Nein_." Canada snorted at the response he received and flipped the three pancakes he had been making onto a plate. Two eggs, sunny-side up and three strips of bacon also adorned the plate as he sat it down across from Germany.

"Either way, here's your breakfast. Pancakes, eggs and bacon." At first, it seemed as if Prussia didn't know what to make of the food he had been made. He picked up a fork that had been sitting at the spot and poked the stack of pancakes as if it could eat him. "They're not poisoned, just eat."

"Vhy ahre you making me foot? I ditn'd ahsk…" Canada rolled his eyes looking indignant.

"What kind of a host would I be if I didn't feed my guests? I only assume you like these things. If you don't want them, I haven't eaten breakfast myself so I'll eat it and make you something different." Hospitality was obviously something very new to the Prussian, but he said no more and sat down, picking up the knife too and cutting into the still runny eggs. Germany said nothing and only observed as his brother reluctantly took a bite. "There is syrup for your pancakes as well as salt and pepper by Ludwig's arm. Help yourself." Canada turned away to make himself something, missing Prussia's look of "I'll do whatever I damn-well please". All Ludwig did was shake his head and sip gingerly at the mug of coffee before him.

Once Canada joined them an awkwardness settled over the table. Before the silence had been alright. Neither of the brothers had wished to talk and Canada had been busy with the domestic chore that fed them all.

After about ten minutes of this garbage, Prussia rose his fist and pounded upon the table, shaking it and nearly knocking over Matthew's glass of juice.

"Zomevon fucking zay zomeding!"

"How dit you schleep?" Germany chose to ask as Canada refused to try and make conversation with the rude individual. Prussia drummed his fingers on the table, a stern look of thought on his face. He was considering whether or not to answer the question, Matthew guessed.

"Vell." was the only received answer, it was clear to Matthew the Prussian wanted to say more, but he wouldn't press him as he hoped to avoid any new wounds that day. Again the awkward silence settled over the group and Prussia's fidgeting started. This was something the man had apparently grown out of as he no longer fidgeted during awkward silences, but tried to figure out ways of making them more awkward for just about anyone other than himself. Even if Matthew was among the people he was attempting to irritate he would press on like the ruthless man he once was.

_Is now_. Matthew remembered to correct himself, sipping at his juice. Was it bad that after only one day he was considering going into town to have a drink? Yes he decided, that was _very_ bad. He was more devoted to Gilbert than that he knew. It was the reason why he felt so terrible for all this fucking mess. Perhaps on the last day of Ludwig's presence he would go to town for a little bit. He felt very unlike himself to be so mean, but the German had brought it upon himself. Then he began to think that he should not have been so hard on Ludwig the previous night, maybe he should-no. _It was his decision and he made the wrong one._ He calmly reassured himself.

A surprised gasp escaped him as he saw his hand was translucent. Germany looked over toward the noise and tipped his head to the side in confusion, asking "Vhere dit Canada go? I coult hev svore he vas jus' righd here…"

Prussia gave his brother a look that suggested the man was a total and complete idiot. He looked to Matthew and pointed at Ludwig with this thumb like "are you buying this shit?".

"It's been a problem with me in the past…" Matthew answered meekly, drumming his fingers nervously on the table.

"Vhat de fuck ahre you talking aboud? De liddle cockzucker ist righd dere." Prussia pointed directly at Matthew and Ludwig looked surprised, looking to where Matthew once was in his vision.

"Vell… Someding tells me dat ist nod a goot ding. I schtill can'd see you by de vay." Ludwig said to the space that appeared open to him. He did look honestly worried, this really shouldn't have been happening, but here it was.

Matthew, not knowing what to do besides what he was going to, timidly picked up his fork and chucked it at Ludwig's head, it sticking in his mass of gelled hair.

"Vas de fork nezzazary?" Ludwig asked, pointing to his head and looking to the now visible boy.

"I believe so. In that state I can't even touch you, eh. It was the only idea I had at the time. At least you remember my name, right, eh?" his voice was so timid and unsure it made Ludwig's heart sink.

"Matthew." the German reassured him with a slight quirk of the lips. Matthew smiled shyly and looked at the right time to notice a confused look on Prussia's face. He seemed so deeply perplexed as he stared off into space. It couldn't be possible he was remembering something now, but it was the only thing Matthew could put the face to. Just to check, he asked, "What's the matter with you, eh?" he jumped, a surprised squeak escaping him as Prussia slammed his fists down on the table and violently thrust his chair back from it, storming out of the kitchen.

Feeling his nerve come back, Matthew looked to Ludwig, worry and confusion mirrored equally on his face.

"Do you dink he remembert someding?" the older asked hesitantly.

"That's the only thing I can put to that… But why do you think he would be angry?" Canada finished off his eggs and bacon, not letting Prussia ruin his breakfast.

"My bruder ist like a mule." Ludwig said, a hint of fondness tinting the exasperated statement.

"Big, strong and stubborn." Matthew concurred. "I suppose it's only natural for him not to want to remember. He is himself after all… Why would one wish to become a person they have never met?" Ludwig knew exactly what the Canadian meant. And even if all his memories were retrieved, would his recent personality return with it? Most likely only if everything was gradual, for that he prayed his brother didn't remember things too fast. Too quickly and all that would lead to would be a very destructive and angry man.

"If he doesn'd vant to remember dough…" they both knew what that meant and Matthew's frown from earlier deepened.

"Well… He just remembered something he didn't want to… If he did at all… I'm hoping he did…" he turned away from the sympathetic, blue orbs fixed upon him, they too fervently wished the albino remembered something of his past. At the same time, he hoped whatever he remembered, it wasn't of negative nature. Those could potentially be more damaging than Prussia's inability to remember anything period.

()()()

_He's smiling, though timidly. He knows the boy never asked for this and didn't want to do it, but here he is doing it anyway. Giving the support his brother had no desire to give. He's saying something to the affect of him being a pig and that he will eventually eat him out of house and home. Or pancake and syrup. He himself is not amused and sticks his tongue out at his host earning him a sigh. The host looks away and mumbles something to himself before returning to the front of a stove._

_Oh god! Fuck! Make it stop!_ Prussia screamed in his head, gripping it and all but yanking the hair from his cranium. He never had trouble with flashbacks before, never to his knowledge. The minor ones he had experienced earlier in life, in his life as a knight of the St. Maria Order never hurt either. This one, though of such an innocuous event that could have very well happened just this morning threatened to rip his skull to pieces. If remembering everything just for them to be happy was going to hurt this much, fuck no was he going to try to remember _anything_.

His fingers dug painfully into his scalp, drawing blood in some places. Another frustrated roar tore from his throat and he slammed a fist down onto the railing of the wood veranda, a disconcerting cracking noise issuing from it.

God! How much he wanted to break something! How much he wanted to **kill** something! Hear it scream, feel it struggle, feel the satisfaction in his gut as it slowly stopped moving. And then he wanted to tear it asunder with his bare fists. There were no soldiers around to meet this need though. He could try it on the little blonde wimp inside, but he would fight back and have a chance of winning, especially since Ludwig was on _his_ side. A deep feeling of betrayal bubbled up within his gut, met equally with anger.

_Ludwig is asking him something, it sounds as if he is referring to the small Canadian as his babysitter. He seems completely unwilling to speak to him at all, he's just continuing with his paperwork._

_The older one is talking about not needing a babysitter and the younger yells at him to leave. He doesn't want to deal with his foolishness right now. If he's going to cry and scream he should go to the boy. Germany doesn't want to help him, he doesn't even want to see him, he's busy._

_Something barely audible slips from the older's mouth and the younger, though surprised, looks at him with worry and sympathy. He sighs and looks away, telling him most likely to leave._

_He does, the blonde one, the smaller one, so timid and caring is smiling apologetically to him as he returns from the hallway. He asks him something and Gilbert nods to him in agreement. He looks back to see Ludwig standing at the door to the office, watching him curiously, as if he cannot see the boy he is speaking with._

_The two leave together, leaving his brother to look on in confusion._

He clamped his jaw shut against the pain, he would not scream, he wouldn't! But, God! This pain was unbearable! Slowly he let his eyes slip open and just beneath him, he saw an outlet.

A doe. She was slowly picking her way along the grasses growing by the water, close enough for Prussia to jump on top of from the balcony… Shaking his head out as quietly as he could manage, he climbed atop the railing of the balcony, his eyes firmly fixed upon his target. Maybe he could even start a fire later, he didn't touch much of the food Canada had made him. He licked his teeth hungrily, keeping his balance well upon the thin surface beneath his bare feet.

The deer took a few more steps unknowingly towards the stilts of the veranda and Prussia could barely contain himself any longer. Another step and he jumped, a savage kind of yell leaping forth from his throat just before he landed upon the unsuspecting creature's back.

A sickening crack rang throughout the forest and the deer collapsed beneath the weight of the albino. At first, while Prussia wrapped his legs around its midsection and his arm around its neck, it flailed about wildly, clinging to some inane home that it could escape. Its back end was dead though, Prussia having snapped part of its spine upon impact.

The arm wrapped tighter and the thrashing increased, him grinding his jaw and beginning to twist its head.

"_Just die_!" Another crack resounded and Prussia released a fulfilled sigh, letting his arms rest as the body went limp. He laughed slightly, a smile on his face, laying back on the forest floor and his legs still wrapped around the dead animal. His stomach grumbled and he shoved the body from him, standing up and brushing off. "_Well, time to figure out if I can cook you in this wretched place._" He leaned over and grasped one of the back legs, dragging it off into the morning fog of the forest.

()()()

"That was disgusting…" Matthew commented, having watched what little he needed to see from a window. "Where do you think he's taking it?"

Germany folded his arms over his chest and thought, "Vell, he knows how to schtart a fire vidoud de use of much anyding. Probably somevhere to figure oud how to cut it open und cook it." he looked to his companion and had to suppress a smile at the disturbed look he was being given. "Vhat? Dit you expecd him to do odervise vid it?"

Matthew frowned, drumming his fingers on the sill of the window, "Not really… But I don't know at least the way he's going is deeper into the woods and not anywhere near an exit to it."

"Schoultn'd ve be vorriet aboud dat? Nod dat he can'd defent himself or noding, bud… If he geds losd…"

"I'm not worried, you're a hunter aren't you?" Matthew began to stare dispassionately out the window, wishing he was in better control of himself.

"Vhat's dat suppost to mean?" Ludwig asked, a little bit confused.

"He's leaving tracks as well as drag-marks…" the blonde didn't look back to regard him and simply kept staring.

"Oh…"

"I hate having to be like this Ludwig… But Gilbert isn't himself for two days and I'm already going invisible again. You have no idea what that's like." he paused and the German regarded him with sympathy, reaching out and putting a comforting hand upon his shoulder. "As if I didn't have enough riding on him emotionally…" a bitter laugh shook his suddenly very delicate frame. "Now it would seem as if my very existence is on his hands."

"You're jus' infisible, nod physically disappearing."

Matthew snorted and looked over the hand on his shoulder to the awkward-seeming man, "The people you know are the people that define you. What is existence if no one knows you're you?"

"I'm sorry." Germany let out a surprised breath as the Canadian threw his arms around him in a hug.

"I really shouldn't be dumping this all on you. Thank you for listening." he managed a chuckle, "I must sound so whiny to you, exactly like my brother probably."

"No, your bruder voult _expecd_ me to care, vid you I jus' do. He voult also nod take de time to apologize, dough, vonce again, vid you I don'd mind." Canada sighed with a smile and leaned against Germany.

"How long do you think we should give him? An hour?"

"Uhm," Ludwig carefully disentangled himself from the man, much to the other's confusion. "_ja_, I'd say an hour."

Matthew chuckled, realizing what the German's discomfort was about, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. But what do you want to do until then?" he settled for folding his arms loosely over his chest.

"Schtill look for him? You don'd know vhere he vent."

"You might be unaccustomed to finding him because he's a part of you, but it's very easy for me to find where he is. I also know these woods better than the backs of my hands." The taller blonde nodded and looked to the folded uniform on the coffee table. He shook his head, the contents of the pants' back pocket would be meaningless now and would do little to reassure Canada. If anything, it could possibly make him feel even worse about this whole situation.

"How are you and Italy doing?"

Ludwig's face screwed up at the question, having been pulled from his contemplations by such an unpleasant inquiry. "Vhat?"

"How are things between Italy and you?" Matthew strolled over to an armchair and sat down while Ludwig preferred to stand.

"He ist… Recofering schtill." Ludwig bit at his gloved fingers, looking away.

"Does that mean…?"

"_Ja_…"

"I'm sorry."

"It's nod your fauld… It's novons. Nod efen mine." Canada watched the muscles in Germany's arms tense. There was, for that moment, a similarity between the brothers; they were both angry for their situations and had no one to blame, Germany especially. "Bud, I can'd help bud feel dat it ist in some vay."

"Everyone feels like that when in situations like yours I think…" Matthew stopped to reconsider that, "Either that, or they blame the other as if they were solely responsible."

"Cowarts."

"But I do think neither of you are to blame." Germany didn't answer and Canada was okay with that; he had been honest in his opinion at least. Ludwig on the other hand, he said it wasn't even his fault, but as he stated he still felt as if it were.

"I don'd vant to talk aboud dis anymore."

"It's okay, I shouldn't have brought it up." And an awkward silence filled the space between them, Germany feeling it the hardest.

"Can uh… Can ve go looking for Gilbert now?"

Canada nodded and stood, smoothing down his clothes, "You feeling up to it?"

"_Ja_, who are you kitting? I'fe hat dree cups of coffee dis morning." Germany asserted, puffing out his chest. Italy had opened him up in more ways that one it occurred to Matthew. He couldn't help a smile and had to look away from Germany's almost uncharacteristic behavior.

Still, all the same, not totally convinced that Ludwig felt as good as he said he did, he asked "What about your head?"

"Hurds a liddle. Nod enough to be a problem."

"Let's hope." Testing the weather, he then stepped out onto the balcony and took a deep inhale. It was warmer here than it had been in Ottowa, but still chilly in the infant spring. He turned about and walked back into the house, closing the sliding-glass door behind himself. "You want a coat?" Matthew asked, passing Ludwig and heading for the coat closet.

"No, its been snowing at home. Varmer here dan dere." The tall German followed after him and waited for Canada to pull his red, maple leaf hoodie on.

A blonde eyebrow climbed up Ludwig's forehead at Matthew's choice of attire, "Ist it vise to vear someding vid _drawschtrings_ arount him?"

Matthew scoffed and waved him off, "He wouldn't kill me."

"Dat's vhat you dink. You nefer knew him vhen he voult kill his bruder nations vidoud second dought." Germany's counterpart only stared at him, asking for more information on this matter. "He mighd nod be _able_ to kill you Matthew, bud he _vill_ try… Nefer say dat he _voultn'd,_ jus be heppy dat de case actually ist, for vonce, he _can'd_. If he _efer_ geds you unconscious, you vill lif vid de consekvences of vhatefer he does to you, you vill nod haf de vay oud dat humans do."

The living spark within the shorter boy's eyes dimmed and Matthew pushed his glasses up his nose, "I will always heal and I will love him regardless." he turned his back to him and pushed the door open, walking out into the foggy morning.

Germany sighed, aggravated and following him out the door. _You are a fool._

()()()

Prussia hummed to himself as he poked the cooking meat above the fire. It felt great being out of that damned place. He didn't know what half of the strange things within it were and it seemed as if the Canadian and his brother didn't care to explain much to him.

His head still throbbed from earlier, but he didn't care to debate the memories that had set off the ache. He didn't need to know, if they really were memories, they certainly weren't his. The creature that was recounting was pitiful and enjoyed the sight of the _piteous_ man. He saw him as a source of comfort, something Prussia could never see himself doing. No, they weren't memories, they were fantasies… But if fantasies, boded worse than actual memories. The stick in his bloody hand snapped and he threw it away into the forest. It was only the second day and the little fucker was already getting to him!

He shook his head out, taking a deep breath. Here's what he was going to do; he was going to cook the meat the rest of the way and have a pleasant breakfast in peace. With absolutely **no** signs of _either_ his brother _**or**_ that fucking Canadian. A satisfied snort and a haughty smirk sealed this, him crossing one leg over the other and folding his arms triumphantly.

Finding another stick he shifted the meat around and his stomach grumbled hungrily as a bubble of fat upon it popped and sizzled. He licked his lips and shifted it from the flames to a bed of rocks close to the fire, kept warm by the radiant heat. Using a crude, wooden blade he had fashioned he cut into the oozing piece of flesh and separated a piece, a bit of blood seeping out with the fat. Gingerly picking it up (so as not to burn his fingers) he put the morsel into his mouth and sucked on it. His cooking was rusty, certainly, but nothing beat the taste of fire-cooked venison. He remembered his generals complaining about his cooking, calling it bland and tasteless, they just couldn't appreciate the finite tastes the meat naturally carried with it.

_Stupid humans_. He thought, _Useless things, all of them._ Chewing and swallowing, he cut another piece off and popped it into his mouth.

()()()

"Slow down Germany, you'll slip on something." Matthew attempted to coerce his companion into a slower pace. Of course, his companion being Ludwig, this did not work. "We're in the middle of a national park, there's nowhere for him to go!"

The taller blonde stopped in his tracks and rounded on him, "Dat ist **vhy** I vant to find him fasder!" he yelled in Matthew's face. "Vhere dere ist a national park, dere are tourists. Ve mofed him _here_ for a reason!" Ludwig snorted and turned around again, continuing in his previous direction. At first, they had tried to follow the drag marks and Prussia's footprints, but the bastard had been smart and erased them once in the full cover of the knee-high shrubs. It would have been easy to follow the path he took through the shrubs if he hadn't been smart once again and used the pathways cut through by deer. It was easy to say he was man that if he didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be by normal means. "Besites, vhy aren'd you more vorrit aboud dis?"

"Because he is within me and I can tell he is in the woods somewhere."

"Vell, are ve going in de righd direction?"

"Kind of. We would cover more ground though if we split up." Ludwig looked over his shoulder at the boy, wondering what his reasoning was. Them splitting up, yes, did improve their chances of finding him, but if Matthew found Prussia on his own… Would Prussia be accepting of that or would he strike out at him? Well, now it was Germany's turn to be the rude one in this party.

"_Ja_, I'll schtill be going dis vay." and the German kept walking, leaving Canada standing in the middle of the woods.

_He's angry._ Matthew noted internally. So what if he was? He could be angry all he wanted and it wouldn't make a lick o' difference. Well, wouldn't until Germany chose to manifest his anger in some other way. But it was clear he didn't want to. They both were rather close trade partners and it would suck to throw that all away over something like this.

Sighing and stretching slightly, regretting it for pulling at his ribs, he headed off on a trail perpendicular to the one Germany had taken.

()()()

A belch echoed through the trees, followed by a quieter "kesesesesese". Unfortunately, the first surprised the hiking Canadian and caused him to lose his balance on a slippery (and rocky) slope. Falling head-over-heels down the face of it. Many scratches and bumps later, Matthew found himself facedown at the base of the offending hill. He sighed pathetically and propped himself up on his elbows, cleaning a little mud from his face. Where had his glasses gone? Managing to shift himself to a cross-legged sitting position, he observed the flickering light of a fire with something over it less than twenty feet away. Curious, he wondered where the owner of the fire could have been, they were nowhere in sight.

A startled squeak escaped him when he felt something poking the back of his neck. Violently whipping forward and landing in the mud again, he spun around on his hands and knees (using the slickness of the mud to his advantage) and looked up at his guest. His brow furrowed immediately when he recognized the bush of silver atop something wearing black and white clothes.

"Prussia!" he yelled, forcing himself to his feet (managing not to slip again).

"_Geh! Warmer Bruder._" Prussia hissed, spitting at Canada's feet, all the while whipping the pair of glasses around his right index finger.

Canada only rolled his eyes and caught the glasses as they flung off Prussia's finger. "Going the polite route I see." he commented, cleaning the mud from the lenses and putting them back on.

"You _do_ know vhat I zet righd?"

"I know what the last part meant." Matthew said, looking to the disemboweled deer sitting by the fire and the roasting meat impaled on a stick above the flames. He quickly looked away before his stomach could start convulsing.

"Ist _ahll_ you know inzulds?" the other asked, walking around him and to the fire, taking the meat from it and setting it on the rocks.

"I became very well acquainted with many of the insults you will throw at me about twenty years ago." Canada assured him, "I know bits and pieces of German otherwise. As for what this word '_geh_' means? I have no idea." he was acutely aware of the staring Prussia was doing, it unnerved him a little bit.

"I z'pose, I ditn'd really like you if ahll I efer zet or callt you vas-"

"You stopped after a year or two. We got along better after that."

The albino snorted and seemed to be holding in laughter, "I cahnnod zee us being freunds by _any_ schtredch of de imagination-"

"Well, guess what, we **were**."

"Schtop inderrupding me!"

"Then stop tearing down something I'm trying to have with you here!"

"Zoh, vhat? You're going to _force_ me to be freunds vid you now!"

"It shouldn't have to be forced if you'd just pay-" a squeal escaped him as Prussia used his foot to throw a large stick into his hand and whack the back of Matthew's knees. Flooring him in an instant. Growling, Prussia stepped to stand over him before sitting down on the blonde's chest. Making him cough and gasp for air.

"Bud id _ist_ forct. I don'd _vant_ to be freunds vid you. I **nefer** vill."

Canada couldn't help the new smile spreading across his lips, "That's exactly what you said twenty years ago." The nostalgia, definitely lost upon the Prussian, made him grit his teeth and wheel his fist back before landing on Canada's cheek. When this produced no noise a frustrated sound ripped from Prussia's throat and he punched him again, cracking the glasses upon the boy's face.

The tears that began to slowly flow from Canada's eyes were not for the pain of his face, but for the hatred he felt steadily growing in his stomach for the man. He didn't even hear what Prussia was laughing about as he drowned out all outside stimulus to think. Gilbert, he knew he loved him, but this man, Prussia, the one that wore his face and tore down all the good he had ever done in Matthew's life was ruining that.

"P-Prussia… C-Can you stop?" Matthew's voice was barely audible and Prussia stopped his wailing upon the man's face for a moment.

"Vhat?" he turned his ear towards him to listen.

"Can you get off?"

"Vhy zoh qvied?"

"Eh? I-I don't know." looking down at Matthew suspiciously, Prussia stood up off him and walked over to the fire, giving him a backward glance. Matthew sighed and sat up, not really looking at anything other than the _ahoge_ hanging down in front of his face. He blew at it and stood up, careful not to slip on the mud again. Giving Prussia a nervous glance, he sat down next to the fire and examined his mud-covered self. _This is so stupid, _he thought to himself after finishing, staring into the flames of the fire.

()()()

And there they had sat, in silence, Prussia eating and cooking his deer meat, leaving Canada to sit and wonder what was taking Germany so long to find them. Taking a deep breath, he heaved a dejected sigh and focused on the train of ants tracking through the dirt.

By the second hour, a grumble met the albino's ears and he looked to Matthew. He was still staring off into space at the ground, his fingers idly twiddling with a piece of wood. The grumble had not been verbal, but it had seemed as if he had not noticed his own stomach's hunger.

"_Schwuler_…" Prussia said, trying to get the blonde's attention. This was a failed attempt that didn't even break Canada from his staring at what Prussia could identify as an ant carrying a dead ant. "Fag." he tried again, feeling more polite having used the language Canada was most comfortable with. This still didn't elicit any kind of response and he opened his mouth to yell, but instead barely caught a whisper. "Hm? Schpeak up, you're being too qviet…"

"I said… This fag has a name." Canada all but whimpered, considering whether or not to crush the mourning ants under his thumb.

"Alrighd den, _Kanada_…" Prussia hissed, ripping a chunk of meat from the cooking bits of corpse above the fire. "Hier." he held out the chunk on the end of his wooden blade in Canada's direction. Curious, the blonde looked up to the meat on the end of the sharpened wood. Watching the fat drip from it.

"For me?"

"D'uh. Vhy else voult I be doing dis?"

"Teasing…"

"Nod dis time." suspicious of Prussia, Canada slipped the meat very carefully off the end of the blade and brought it to his mouth, giving it a test lick.

"Thanks…" he said, actually taking a bite of the strangely tender meat. Afraid that this cooking would be the death of him, he sucked on the flesh within his mouth for a moment, surprised at the flavor it held. The man had obviously had no spices at his disposal and still managed a damn good meal. A quiet laugh in spite of himself and he smiled, it just made Prussia angry.

"Vhat? Vhat's zoh damn funny?"

"Nothing Prussia. It's just… Now-a-days, you can't cook worth anything. Even using a toaster you somehow or another end up getting something stuck to the ceiling." Canada reflected sweetly, thinking about Gilbert screwing up _so_ badly at pancakes he was banned from setting foot in the kitchen for a month. Punishable by no sex for the duration of that month. To be completely honest, Matthew hadn't been so sure if _he_ would have been able to make it a month.

"Vhat's a toasder?" a look of humor sparkling within his purple orbs, Matthew looked to Prussia and nearly laughed.

"You're kidding right?"

"… I'fe, ahz you zet, forgodden alod… Vhat ist a toasder?"

"A breadbox-sized, shiny appliance that you insert bread into and it is toasted within." Canada felt like he was explaining to a two-year-old. He especially felt this way because after his explanation all he got was just a blank and confused stare. "Uhm… I'll just show you when we go back to the house."

"Zay again?"

Canada sighed and cleared his voice, "I'll show you when we go back to the house."

"Oh." Prussia wrinkled his nose at the thought, he really didn't want to go back to that place. He watched him gingerly take another bite from the meat he was eating, averting his eyes from Prussia. A sense of satisfaction settled over the albino, him smirking and suppressing a "kesese", tearing a piece of meat off the main chunk and sucking on it.

()()()

In the meanwhile, Germany frantically crashed through the undergrowth, calling Canada by name. It had been two-and-a-half hours since he had last seen him and he was more than beginning to worry. He had made it to the edge of the forest before he realized it was almost noon and had left Canada on his own for far too long.

"Matthew!" he yelled into the forest, no one answering him. Cursing to himself he continued on, making far too much noise and not paying the best attention to what was behind him. He could have swore he heard a rustle in the low bushes, but figured it only to be a rabbit or a squirrel and dismissed it.

()()()

As for Canada and Prussia, the two were still sitting around the fire, it beginning to burn a little bit low. There was a need for more socialization, but Canada had no idea how to approach it. So, he did what he and Gilbert would always do on a slow afternoon. Reaching into his sweatshirt, he pulled out a bottle of beer, and popped the top, putting it into his pocket. It was a bit early to be drinking for him, but on a day like this, he didn't think it mattered.

Taking his first draught he noticed Prussia giving him a queer look and he tipped his head to the side, resting the bottle on his knee.

"Want one?" he asked politely, he knew Prussia had barely heard him, but the question was obvious enough.

"Vhat ist id?"

"Beer." Canada pulled another from his sweatshirt and tossed it across the low fire to Prussia, who caught it and looked it up and down. "Sorry if you don't like it. It's my favorite brand." As Prussia pried off the cap he couldn't help, but chuckle, Prussia taking his first sip. "If it's not strong enough for you, I can get some grain alcohol to mix with it." Matthew said jokingly with a smile.

"Vhat?" Prussia looked very confused and took another gulp, deciding it _was_ worthy of his awesome time.

"I'm joking. It's a book thing." He snorted and looked away, books, useless things, just like the humans that wrote them.

"Id ist a bid veak. Bud bier ist bier. Und id ist schtrangely goot." the Prussian chugged the rest of the beer and Matthew looked on in adoration. His two hours of introspection had done much for his mood and watching Prussia like he had Gilbert during these sessions only made it better. Of course, his open staring was not met with anything akin to what Gilbert would give him. Prussia caught his stare and threw the empty bottle at him. Making a noise Matthew, ducked, the bottle sailing over his head. "God anymore?"

Canada extracted two more bottles from his sweatshirt and tossed them both to Prussia, him catching both with one hand. Flicking the bottle tops off effortlessly with his thumb, Prussia brought the first bottle up to his lips and took a mouthful of beer. The uncomfortable silence settled between them again and Matthew kept sipping at his beer and nibbling at the meat he'd been given.

"So, uhm-"

"Schud up."

_Well then…_ Matthew drank the rest of his beer in a hurry and found that in the space of the time it took him to finish one, Prussia had already sucked down the other too. He was holding his hand to the blonde and snapping his fingers. The indignant man wrinkled his nose and pulled a bottle of wine out of his pocket, throwing the whole thing at him. "Enjoy, dick."

"Dick? My name ist nod Richard." Prussia said with confusion, pulling the cork out of the bottle with his knife.

Matthew's face fell into a deadpan, "You're kidding… You remember _your_ slang terms but not English's various ones?"

"Zilch." Prussia chuckled, taking a few mouthfuls of wine down right quick.

"Oh, but you remember that one?"

"_Ja_."

Face-palming first, Matthew tugged at his hair, careful not to disturb his _ahoge_. "It is a crude synonym for a man's penis. If someone is being a jerk, you call them that."

"_Ohhh_. I zee."

"Along with prick, cock and tool." Matthew pulled himself out another drink. "Though tool is often used in different sense than calling someone a dick. And cock is usually only used to refer to a penis rather than someone's behavior." he popped the cap off the drink and took a few draughts.

"Vhy ist being callt 'dick' 'cock' und 'prick' bat? I voult zee id ahz reference to my awezome-"

"Five meters, I know." Matthew took another drink. "But, not everyone likes being called those things. While they may sound good to you, it is said in a derogatory way, so it is usually only ever taken as such. I'm rather surprised you were able to call me a cocksucker this morning when you didn't even know what the word 'cock' meant."

Prussia laughed, down to half a bottle already, "I knew vhat 'cockzucker' meand, I jus' ditn'd take de time to dizecd de vort."

"Maybe there was a reason your brain hung on to all the bad things you could call a gay person." The laughter stopped and Prussia outright _glared_ at Canada. Keeping his nerves under wraps, Matthew took the glare with grace. Smiling even, knowing he was risking his pretty pearly-whites.

"Vhat'z _dat_ z'pozt to mean?" Prussia growled in the back of his throat, pulling a still smoldering branch out of the fire and aiming the hot end at Canada.

Matthew had the calm of mind to laugh and playfully shove the stick from his face, "I'm joking Prussia." And Prussia's face screwed up, embarrassment clear on his face for taking such a joke too seriously.

"Hmph, fucking…" he trailed off, grumbling to himself and tossing the large stick back into the hot coals of the fire.

"Did you already drink all that wine?" Canada asked as Prussia discarded the green-tinted, glass bottle with the rest of the bottles at his feet.

"_Ja_." And Matthew laughed, pulling another bottle from his sweatshirt.

"Mind if I share this one?" he suggested with good spirits. It was easier to get on Prussia's good side (at least the Prussia he knew) when he had some alcohol in his system. The albino seemed to consider it for a moment before waving him on to take the first drink. "How kind of you." Matt laughed, surprised to see how good a mood he was in after what had happened earlier and only one bottle of beer. Reaching into his sleeve, he extracted a corkscrew and pulled the cork in the bottle out. He took it to his lips not a second later and took a long drink. Prussia watched as he concluded his drink with a belch and a chuckle, offering it to him.

"_Danke._" Prussia took the bottle, giving him a queer look, he obviously hadn't expected _that_ among the man's behaviors.

"You're welcome." Matthew sat back with a smile, feeling slightly phony. Just as Prussia moved the bottle to his lips he froze. A bitten off gasp of pain escaping his lips before a cold sweat began to form on his forehead and every muscle in his body visibly tensed.

"P-Prussia? Are you alright?" Matthew began to stand to go to his friend, but Prussia acted faster, flinging the bottle at him and smashing it to pieces against Matthew's forehead. The blonde fell back to the mud, glass and wine covering him, not knowing what in the world had hit him for about a minute-and-a-half. Disoriented, Matthew managed to sit up and look to Prussia in confusion, grateful the bottle had missed his glasses as most of Prussia's earlier punches had.

"**Goh avay**!" Prussia roared, thrusting himself shakily to his feet, his eyes holding an inhuman glint. "**You cahn'd make me rememper **_**anyding**_!" he swung at Canada who easily side-stepped the mildly intoxicated and pained man.

"What's the matter?" Matthew asked, worry coloring his tone.

"**You**!" Canada ducked, avoiding another punch, but put himself greatly off balance.

"What did I do?"

"**Dis**!" Prussia fiercely indicated himself and threw his head back, yanking at his hair. "**Fuck you**! **You schtupit, fucking, cockzucking **_**cunt**_!" A blood-curdling yell broke from his throat and Matthew realized what kind of pain it must be for _Prussia_ of all men to be screaming about it.

"Prussia, please, calm down for a minute-"

"**Schud up**!"

Finally, Matthew felt some of his absent guts boil up within him and spew from his mouth, "Prussia! Sit the hell down!" he shoved him with the palm of his hand, knocking him down to sit on the log he had been.

Angrily, Prussia looked up to him, grinding his teeth, pure, unadulterated hatred on his face. Matthew could only smile at him, a fist came up, but it was easily avoided, him leaning down and putting his hands gently on his shoulders. In as caring a voice as he had, he asked, "What did you remember?"

"Vhy de **fuck** do _you_ vant to know?"

"Because I care."

"_Vhy_?"

"You used to be my friend and you still are."

"_I'm_ nod your-"

"I don't want to hear it. What do you care whether or not I am your friend? You're freaking Prussia, the man everyone is supposed to look up to and adore. If someone wants to hear what you have to say, why take the pleasure of your words away from them?" and, as usual, stoking his ego worked like a charm. A light of recognition lit up in Prussia's eyes and a narcissistic smirk curved his lips.

"_Vell_, zince you pud id _dat_ vay." Prussia began, "Ve're zidding ihn your hauz. Dere ahre boddles ef'ryvhere. Ve're jus' talking, und drinking. I don'd know anyding aboud vhat's being zet oder den jus' de gizd of id."

"What was that?" Matthew asked, taking a seat on the log next to him.

"Vorlt efends. Your bruder being schtupit, mine being a fag."

"What an… Uneventful memory." Matthew sighed, they had done that thousands of times, but maybe that's why such a memory would jump into his mind. He himself had always loved those times, perhaps Gilbert had felt the same way.

In the mind of Prussia, however, he wasn't even about to tell the boy how it ended. Even speaking it would surely make him throw up. The feel of his lips though… It hadn't been an unpleasant memory if only the pain were absent. But it was disgusting, two men kissing, much more that _boy_ kissing him! His stomach began to churn and he felt hot acid bubble up into his mouth. Somehow, he swallowed it and shook his head out, this was fucking ridiculous.

"Do you want to go back to the house?"

"Noh."

"You need a shower and I'm covered in… Well, just about everything under the sun." Prussia tipped his head curiously to the side, looking at Matthew sitting next to him.

"Schowver?" the word felt foreign on his lips. He knew what a spring shower was, but how do you make it rain for just one person? Was he really so important that the sky would rain at his command. Why not, he was Prussia wasn't he?

"I'll show you if you come back to the house." Matthew said mischievously, hey, Prussia didn't know what a shower was, he could get away with it. After sitting and mulling over his choice of actions Prussia sighed and stood, kicking a mound of dirt he had set up onto what was left of the fire. "Do you know the way back?"

Prussia looked over his shoulder and glared at him, "Vhat do you dink?"

"Yes?"

"Noh schid." Matthew chuckled a little bit and backed off, fixing his glasses on his face, being careful not to get any more mud on them.

"Alright, let's go then."

()()()

"_Ach_, vhere de fuck are dey?" Ludwig grunted, having lost most of his enthusiasm for the search as he trudged through the mud. Continuing his trek back to the house, hoping Canada would have made it back, voices floated to him on the winds. It was definitely two voices, one rather loud and almost drowning out the other in conversation. It wasn't even a particularly heated one either. From what Ludwig could gather, it was about different kinds of fish…

Blinking, unsure of whether or not this really _could_ be Canada and Prussia getting on, he stealthily snuck up on the owners of the voices. Unfortunately, all that noise from earlier still had _someone's_ attention and Ludwig didn't even notice as he focused totally upon the two men.

Ludwig poked his head through some bushes, grateful to be wearing a dark green uniform. Not to mention grateful to see Canada and Prussia getting along as Prussia described ways to cook a filleted trout over a fire. Matthew _appeared_ interested, but the Canadian was very talented at feigning interest. Accidentally snapping a twig, both of his family members looked back out of habit straight at him.

"Ludwig?" Prussia asked, looking at his brother queerly. Canada, however, was not looking at Ludwig anymore. A harsh swallow caught Prussia's attention and he looked to the taller man. "Vhat?" and before the Prussian could accent his T Matthew had bolted straight into the bushes, jumping over Ludwig and landing straight on something large and very angry.

Germany shot up immediately, adrenaline rushing into his veins as he watched Matthew attempt to subdue something that was making a terrible, snarling racket.

"Vhat ist it?" he frantically asked, Matthew managing to wrap an arm around the creature's neck.

"A wolverine that's probably been following you for awhile!" the strain was more than obvious in the blonde's voice as he tried to hold the forty-pound glutton down with just his own weight. There is a reason though that wolverines are known for being some of the strongest mammals alive. It yanked its head free of Matthew's arms and lunged straight for his throat. Ludwig acted faster, grabbing Matthew by the leg and wrenching him back, along the mud and pine needle-covered ground.

This only serving to piss the hungry wolverine off even more, it charged again, coming within an inch of Matthew's precious digits. Instead, it got a mouthful of Ludwig's boot as he, with a great heave, flung the Canadian off into the air behind him.

"Oof!" Prussia had really been unprepared for this sort of weather, who knew it possible to rain nations? Matthew scrambled for his feet immediately upon landing, kicking Prussia in the jaw once or twice. "Ow! Ged ovf!" he personally kicked the Canadian off himself, making the boy land ass in the air, face in the mud.

Sitting up and putting his glasses back on (finding them decidedly more cracked than before), Matthew actually managed to get to his feet this time. Ludwig was still doing battle with the raging beast on the other side of the bushes when Matthew simply pulled out a gun and shoved the German aside, hitting the wolverine in the shoulder with a round. Grabbing Ludwig by the arm, he dragged him away as it staggered a few feet and fell over.

"Ist it dead?" the tallest of the group asked, taking a step towards its prostrate body.

"No. I would never kill one. It was only a tranquilizer." Matthew stepped over to it and pulled the small dart out of it, pocketing it a moment later. "It's a fairly we-"

"Vhy ditn'd you kill id?" Prussia was quite a bit more bent out of shape than either of the blondes had suspected he would be. "Id coult hef hurd Ludwig!"

"But did it?" Matthew posed innocently.

"Does id madder?"

"To me it does."

"Vhy?"

"Because you can't just kill something so beautiful without thought!"

"Beaudiful? Look ahd id! Id's a fucking veasel!"

"Shut up! We're going back to the house, leave the damn thing be!" Matthew shoved Prussia's back for him to get a move on.

"Don'd you touch me!" Prussia spun around, about to punch him but only to find his wrist effortlessly restrained by his little brother.

"It ist useless fighting ofer someding like dis. Can ve **please** moof along?" the two combatants looked to the wiser of the party and nodded, Prussia reclaiming his wrist with a prideful growl.

"Are you alright Ludwig?" Matthew asked the extremely exhausted man with concern, offering him a shoulder to lean on.

"I'm fine. I'll make it back to de house. Bud dere are no guarantees dat I vill be schtill be avake by de time ve pass dat couch in de frond hall." they both looked at each other and chuckled at what little humor they had in this pitiful situation.

Prussia caught their exchange out the corner of his eye and felt nothing but sickness for both of them. His little brother was every bit a pussy as the God-damned Canadian, he just had muscle to back himself up. No sibling of his was friends with something like **that**. He snorted harshly and picked up his speed, remembering the way back to Canada's home well enough and leaving both of the blondes in the dust.

As he climbed up the steep face of the muddy hill, something in the back of his mind caught his attention. It wasn't something that happened very often for him and why should it? He wasn't supposed to have the little voice of introspection in the back of his head. He was a nation meant to kill and rule over everyone, not one meant to think. Behind this feeling he felt something greater, as if this voice were but a flimsy wall between him and an infinite power. The power seemed to laugh at him for a bit, it seemed to think him stupid beyond measure. How dare it!

Redoubling his efforts of putting hatred towards Canada, he shoved this "conscience" of his into the dark oblivion of his rage, hoping to snuff it out. All it did was remain and laugh all the harder at him, a bubble of light sucking away the abyss.

"_Was bist du_?" he growled to himself, hoping the "voice" didn't have an actual one and that he wasn't going insane. Quite happy to see that it didn't he still resented the feelings it produced. It made him feel bad for hating Canada without a very clear cause. It made him question what about Canada was so unpleasant. He had earlier admitted to himself for some unknown and hateful reason that he was a good man. Probably not one of the people he had accused him numerous times of being too.

These thoughts baffled him so greatly, he hadn't even noticed he had stayed his feet and now stood in a pose of thought in the middle of the forest. Germany and Canada themselves watching from nearby.

"What did he say?" Matthew whispered to Ludwig as he leaned on a tree.

"He asked vhat someding vas. He referret to it dough as if it vas a person." Ludwig replied, tipping his head thoughtfully and then moving it back to its prior position. Moving it had only served to put him even more off balance than his fatigue already did.

"Imagine that." the shorter one rolled his eyes, Germany just then catching his eye and his obvious condition. "We can't afford to let him have his own little moment when you are so exhausted, let's get him back to the house so you can rest."

Germany nodded and stepped out of the bushes towards Prussia, putting a hand on his shoulder. Well, too bad for Ludwig he had forgotten all of his brother's knee-jerk responses of long ago and in the end had a fist planted right in his face.

"Whoa…" and Ludwig fell to the mud, not knowing what the fuck had just happened.

"Germany!" Matthew darted out of his cover and ran to him, dropping to his knees and skidding on the mud to his side. "What's the matter with you, eh?" Prussia looked away from Canada as he yelled, Ludwig should have known better than to do that… "Ludwig, are you alright?"

"_Ja…_ I'm fine… I dink…" the German replied, stretching his face and feeling his probably fractured nose. Ludwig snorted into his hand and sighed when he saw the thick, red pool in the palm of his glove. "Broken nose dough." his eyes flicked up to the albino that had turned his back on both of them, his arms folded as if bored.

No, he wasn't bored, that conscience of his was happily chewing him out and he was trying his best to drown it out with his own thoughts. Trouble was, the more he tried, the louder it got and the more insistent it became.

"_Just shut up_!" Prussia yanked at his hair and released it in favor of rubbing his face. The conscience calmed down, but still pressed upon him. _What the fuck do I have to apologize for? _He thought, his conscience, unable to actually speak, giving him no answer. _I ask you a mother-fucking question and you do nothing to help me?_ The feeling of it figuratively rolling its eyes added to his irritation, did _all_ goody-two-shoes, whiney bitches have to deal with this thing that mocked them every time they did something wrong? If this were the case, he could see why more people were prone to ignoring it and being nasty. The only thing this particular part of anyone' decision-making process did was make them _less_ likely to do the right thing. Anyone that listened to this voice was obviously a weakling.

"Who are you talking to bruder?" Ludwig wiped his hand off on his pants and walked around in front of him.

"Schud up, fag."

Uncomfortable, Ludwig looked to Matthew and the man shrugged. "Vhy dit you call me dat?"

"Because you alvays hef been von." Prussia stated plainly, flicking bits of his broken hair off his hand. Not willing to argue with him, Germany nodded his head in an unsure way and scratched at the back of his neck.

"Bruder, can ve please moof on?"

"I nefer vantet to linger."

"Dank you." swallowing, Ludwig looked back to Matthew and then to Prussia again, not knowing how to proceed. Matthew just shook his head and gently nudged the two on.

"C'mon Prussia, I still need to show you what a shower is. Maybe a toaster." Prussia nodded, a hint of curiosity behind his eyes, Ludwig just looked confused. Matthew smiled to him and shook his head minutely, the lake by the house coming into view.

Walking into the house, Ludwig made a beeline for the couch and collapsed upon it with an almighty sigh. He tried to shift so he was on his back rather than on his stomach crushing his arm, but he was too tired to do even that.

"Years of military inactivity, look what it does, eh?" Canada commented with a chuckle as Germany tried once again to move and failed. Prussia, however, grabbed his brother's shoulders and flipped him over on his back with a grumble.

"_Faul_." he said with a snort, Ludwig's eyes slipped closed and he smiled, his lips parting slightly and sighing, "_Lieblich_." he was exhausted, but managed to lift his hand to give him a pat on the shoulder. Prussia snorted stubbornly and looked away, folding his arms across his chest in a childish way, "_I have no idea what you're talking about_."

Ludwig sighed, sounding contented when it was probably just an exhausted one.

"Well… He's going to be out for a while." Canada started to get Prussia's attention. "Want that shower?" Prussia nodded and the two headed for the stairs to the second floor, Canada leading the way.

"You und my bruder…" Canada looked back over his shoulder at him, raising his brows in question, "How dit you two become freunds?"

"Because of you actually. Well, we are close trade partners, but that has nothing to do with friendship, of course. He's your brother, I'm your best friend, it's only natural that we know each other and get along." he heard the man behind him groan and saw him roll his eyes in a very irritated fashion. "Okay, _used_ to be your best friend, better?"

"_Ja_." Prussia followed Matthew into the bedroom and through it to the bathroom. "I vonteret vhat dis room vas for…"

"Oh, come _on_, as if you have never seen a flush toilet at _some_ point or another." Matthew teased, Prussia just turned his back on him and snorted in a snooty way, mumbling "De busches vorkt jus' fine." an unwitting smile curved the young Canadian's lips and he patted him on the shoulder. "Vhat?" Prussia asked.

"I'll show you what a shower is." Matthew motioned to the free-standing shower in the corner of the room, upon seeing it Prussia paused.

"Vaid… You jus call dem schowvers? Von voult figure a bid more intelligend of a name…"

Matthew snorted and rolled his eyes, "And what word do _you_ use?"

"_Dusche_." he replied with a bit of pride.

"_Oh_? From the _French_ word _Douche_?" the blonde quirked an eyebrow, folding his arms over his chest.

"Vell, uhm…"

"At least we didn't copy another language." the Prussian was too proud to admit he had made an arguement out of something so stupid and just didn't answer. "Well, since you know what a shower is, take one. I'll put you some new clothes out." Matthew started to leave but that's when Prussia chose to open his mouth.

"Noh! De vader vill be colt!"

Far more tired than he had previously thought and still caked with mud, Matthew sighed and looked over his shoulder to him, "Not if you let the water heat up idiot."

"Vhat?"

"Oh come on! Like you have _never_ seen a shower that has heated water!" Prussia was not sure about why Matthew was getting so angry and merely blinked dumbly. "What in…! You were _practically_ an aristocrat! _Why_ didn't you have a shower?"

"Nefer vantet von…"

"Isn't 'godliness' a freaking virtue?"

"Vhat does dat hef to do vid anyding?" Prussia asked, still unruffled.

"Cleanliness is close to godliness."

"Musd be zomeding new. I'fe nefer hort dat."

"Look, you smell terrible and you have blood on your clothes. Either you're taking that shower willingly or I'm going to make you." there was true threat in his voice, he was very familiar with the workings of Gilbert's body, he knew all the places to hit to make him cooperate.

"Oh _really_?" Prussia hissed, sensing contest in Matthew's attitude.

"Yeah, really." Matthew replied, far past being amused by this. He just wanted to get the man into something clean so _he_ could clean up.

"Vant to fighd tiny man?"

"Yep." The two rushed at each other in the confined space, but Matthew knew exactly what he was looking for, easily ducking beneath Prussia's uppercut he tore the man's tucked-in shirt from his unbelted pants. The fist he had avoided however, came down and Matthew backed away quickly, catching the glimmer in Prussia's eyes. This was going to be harder than he expected it to be, but at least Prussia still didn't know what exactly he was supposed to be protecting on his body.

"Vhat ahre you trying to do? Untress me?" the albino hissed angrily.

"Not at all." Canada replied truthfully, lunging again and ending up clipped by a protecting fist, ripping the shirt up again and pulling his hand back as far as it could go, he slammed the ball of his palm into a scar on Prussia's side, hoping Gilbert would forgive him for it later.

Yelping loudly, Prussia fell limp upon Canada who readily shouldered the man's weight. That was when the screaming started. Matthew closed his tearing eyes to the noise, gripping tightly to the man atop him caught in a terror he could scarcely imagine. He began to tentatively rub the screaming man's back, at a loss for what he could do for him. Perhaps he should have figured out a different maneuver to incapacitate him, he had known it possible for the pain to call back some memories Prussia was better off without.

Soon the screams faded and Prussia was left to weep upon Matthew's back, the pain of his new memory would not soon be forgotten if it made this man of all people cry.

"V-Vhat vas dat?"

"I don't know, you'll have to tell me later." Feeling Prussia's muscles tense Matthew laid a hand on the spot and he ceased movement.

"Nod again."

"No, not again, just take your shower. Or do you hurt too much?" There was no answer for the red-eyed man was too proud to admit it. "I'm sorry, Prussia."

"Vhatefer." Matthew's deft hands had Prussia's stained shirt off quickly and on the floor, next came his pants and the pleasant surprise that he wasn't wearing underwear.

"Have you just never liked to wear undergarments?"

"Vhat's dat z'pozt to mean?"

"You usually sleep naked in this time as well."

"How voult you know?"

"You freeload off of me in this day and age. I've woken you up a few times to kick you out of my house early and found something I didn't want to the first time." Oh, what an interesting morning _that_ had been about seventeen years ago, it made Matthew chuckle thinking of it. They both had been so hostile that morning until eventually eating breakfast and _then_ Matthew kicking Gilbert from his house.

"I zee." Neither of them spoke as the blonde helped Prussia into the hot spray of the running shower. Matthew respectfully looked away from Prussia (at the ceiling actually) as he helped him stand in the shower, the hot water seeping through his muddied shirt and steaming up his glasses. The heat was pleasant on his tired muscles and probably felt even better to Prussia as he soaped up his body. The albino's hands tracing his own contours and tending to his aches…

_Uh-oh…_ Matthew had to think quickly here, lest Prussia notice that he perhaps wasn't the most innocent person within this house. _Just don't look down you big oaf._ Unfortunately, the risk of Prussia seeing him only seemed to make him grow all the harder and he was on the verge of screaming with frustration. _Okay! Think! Uh… Francis! Think Francis! … Eugh, never mind, nasty as he is I don't think that's gonna work, Alfred! Yeah! Alfred! Phew…_ _Good ole Alfred. Who knew you'd ever save my day?_ Crisis averted, he went back to staring at the ceiling as his friend finished up, this time remembering not to imagine _anything_.

"De pain's gone. Leaf."

"Alright." Matthew swiftly left the shower and Prussia be, taking off his clothes and throwing the sopping wet articles on the same pile as Prussia's bloodied shirt and pants.

In the master bedroom, Matthew extricated a bathrobe to wear and clothes for Prussia from the closet. He felt all the worse that he had had to employ such an underhanded method upon his lover and needed to make it up to him somehow. Of course, with all the screaming, he doubted anything could make up for _that_ memory. Which, it was probably just the tip of the iceberg as far as memories of his time with Russia went. Most likely he just had one scenario, probably the one that gave him the scar he exacerbated. Memory recall was always higher if you were in the same state as when happened. Prussia, pissed off and fighting, Russia, suddenly beating into the man's side with his faucet pipe. Tears came to Matthew's eyes and he took his glasses off to wipe them away. He was a terrible person.

()()()

"I'm done…" Prussia looked about the deserted room, his pile of new clothes neatly folded on the bed and a bag of some green matter seemingly tossed haphazardly next to it. Within the bag of green he spied something that appeared to be rolled paper and opened the bag, pulling it out. Holding it in his fingers he had the itch to pull out a lighter and light the end of it. It resembled a cigarette, so perhaps he was supposed to smoke it? Looking to see if Matthew had left a lighter in the room he was grateful to see that there was. He dropped the bag and the strange cigarette to the bed and pulled on the clothes Matthew had been gracious enough to lay out for him.

He tried his best not to linger on the new memory that scarred his psyche, but it was hard to let it go. The pain was so real as it arched up his back and through every nerve in his body. The very pain of the flashback itself had managed to drown out the pain of the headache. He felt disgusted and dirtier than he ever had, despite the shower. After Canada had left, he turned up the heat as far as it would go and he still felt no better about it. Was this what it had felt like for his insubordinate soldiers before their deaths?

Sighing and sitting down on the bed next to the bag of green, he cradled his head in his hands, swaying back and forth, letting his eyes close. The memory came back and he quickly jumped up from the bed, shaking out. Was it destined to haunt him for the rest of his days? Or would it go away as he wanted to beg it to. But no, Prussia never begged, he never would, he would endure this memory if he must and wouldn't let it break him. It had obviously been Canada's intention since he seemed to know exactly what spot to assault.

"Prussia?" He jumped at the soft voice in the doorway and looked over, Canada stood within it, his hair hanging down in wet locks, his _ahoge_ sticking out.

"Vhat?" Prussia growled, not willing to speak with him yet.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Vhy voult you care? You fount zomeding dat vill incapacidade me."

"I've only ever used that method three times prior. I didn't consider beforehand what the consequences of using that spot would be. I should have used somewhere else, forgive me." Matthew averted his eyes, shame written all over his face.

"You know vhat causes dat… Reaction?"

"Yes… It's a scar right above your hipbone, Russia gave it to you during your time with him. From what you've told me, you were fighting and he hit you in the side with his faucet pipe, the outlet end's handle embedding itself in your skin and muscle. He tore the pipe from your side and some of your muscle with it. It never healed properly, so stimulating the area with a punch or other rough contact… I think Russia figured out that it worked to make you helpless… And after so many times of it being used prior to your punishment, you knew it better to just stay down and take whatever he gave you."

"Vhatefer… He gafe me?" _Punishment?_ Prussia suppressed a shudder, punishment from that behemoth of a man…

"What happened in your memory?"

"I vas… I vas…"

"Raped?" Prussia turned away from Canada, turned away from something he didn't want to admit. "That was only one memory of it too. You were stuck with Russia for a little over fifty years. I hope you don't remember all your bad parts before your good ones."

"Fifdy years of _dat_? No vonter I forgod efryding."

"No, that's not why!" If it was, what about the last fucking twenty years? What about that?

"Den vhat reason?"

"I don't know yet… You got over your post traumatic stress syndrome about eighteen years ago, it wouldn't make any sense." Prussia didn't have anything to say to that and just chose to ignore his presence, picking up the cigarette.

"Vhat ist dis?"

"A joint."

"Looks like a zigaredde."

"It is. It's just a marijuana cigarette. So, it's called a joint."

"How ist id diffrend from a normal von?"

"Marijuana is a hallucinogen, nicotine is a stimulant."

"Nicotine?"

"Wow…" Matthew sighed and continued on, "Nicotine is a chemical found within tobacco, it's what gets you addicted to cigarettes."

"I zee… Und, I smoke dis?"

"Yeah, you and I. The medical stuff is legal in my nation, in my brother's is illegal for most uses and is supposed to be punishable by full extent of the law, but if it's left up to the cop's digression how to handle it, few people are prosecuted fully for possession and get minor sentences now-a-days. If you deal though, that's a different matter."

"Hmm… Zince ve smoke id togeder, I cahn guezz id's goot."

"Yes." Matthew laughed as he remembered a particular incident "I got my hands on some hydro stuff once, we were stuck in the house for the whole day after a single joint."

"Id's a zocial drug?"

"Uh-huh. Great stuff if not taken in excess." Matthew held out his hand for the joint and Prussia obliged him with it, placing it in his palm. "Here, there's a certain way you smoke it. But, if you screw up I won't mind since it's only you and me. But screw up at parties and people get pissed." The Canadian lit up the end of the joint and placed the other end lightly to his lips, almost pursing them before taking the first drag to keep spittle off the end of it. He breathed out slowly, watching the smoke curl and flux as it floated upwards. This was the only breath he was going to take, he couldn't afford to get high with Prussia around.

Offering the joint to Prussia, the albino took it and mimicked the technique. Exhaling, he stared at the joint with intrigue. There was no hacking or coughing as the body was used to the feel of the smoke, but his mind certainly wasn't.

"Whoa…" Quickly Prussia stuck it back to his lips and took a very deep inhale, coughing a little on the exhale. "Vhat vere you zaying ist er… Vhat vill make dem mat?"

"Something called nigger lipping."

"Vhat ist dat?"

"Getting slobber on the end of the joint."

"Most people hate it and I would too. Just with close friends, I don't care." Matthew watched the man practically devour the joint. It was amazing he was able to go through it so fast, he was beginning to worry that the man would end up totally stoned. Sure, if that happened he wouldn't have to deal with Prussia doing much more than staring into space for a few hours, but the mental trip he would take would surely be terrible for him. "Uhm, just so you know, some people get caught up in flashbacks when they smoke too much weed…" A little lie never hurt and for Prussia it probably would be true in this situation.

Prussia hissed to himself finishing the joint and tossing the small butt out. Another good thing ruined by his fucking head. His conscience just laughed at him and he groaned, his eyes drifting to the bag left on the bed…

"So, what do you want to do now? You're supposed to go slow with those things if you're smoking one by yourself…"

"Really?"

"Yep. When you get hungry let me know. Until then, just look around, I know you haven't been to all the rooms in this house." Hesitant to turn his back on a buzzed, high Prussia, he backed out of the room and headed for his office down the hallway.

Walking in and locking the door behind him, Matthew heaved an almighty sigh. He ran his hand through his hair and flicked the droplets of water off his hand absently, stepping behind his desk. Dropping down into his desk chair, he turned on the almost ancient computer and typed in his password. If he was going to be here for an extended period of time with a person he didn't enjoy too much, he was going to be doing some work at least.

Again he sighed when it occurred to him that he was going to have to move all his computer equipment from his house in Ottawa to his office here. That was going to be a whole load of shit he wasn't willing to deal with. He would have to do it over night too while Prussia slept to avoid leading him from the forest. With a groan he opened his email and saw he had a few messages. Two were from Alfred and the third was from Italy. It wasn't every day he received a message from Italy and he was eager to see what the man had to say to him.

Clicking the email he opened it and read it:

_Hi Canada! That's your name isn't it? I hope I got it right, if I didn't Feliciano is sorry. But, anyway, Germany isn't replying to any of my texts and isn't answering his phone. I tried emailing him and he won't reply to that either! He didn't tell me where he was going when he left the other day, he seemed angry about something. But, yeah, when isn't he, right? Yeah, and maybe I should make him some pasta when he gets back? Should I? Oh, wait, that's not why I sent this message is it? Okay, what was my reason… Oh, yeah! If you see him or talk to him, let him know I'm kind of worried about him and tell him not to be mad. I didn't mean to make him mad, whatever I did. Feliciano is sorry, a lot, and he wants Ludwig to be happy, can you tell him that for me? Please tell him?_

_~Feliciano Vargas, Italy Veniziano_

_P.S. Maybe I should make him some wurst instead? Would he like that more than pasta? I think I will just make him pasta. What's better than pasta, right?_

Frowning, Matthew clicked the reply button and began to compose:

_Hello Italy, it's Canada, so yes, you did get it right. I'm sorry he didn't tell you, but Germany is staying with me for a little bit. Only for about three more days. Where we are has no reception for cell phones and the computer I'm using is mine so he doesn't have access to email either since he never seems to like using my computers.  
__Don't worry, he's not mad at you Italy, he's just worried about his brother. Prussia has been of less than great health the past two days.  
__As for what to make him to eat? Anything made by you would make him happy, just remember that he cannot only eat pasta like you. He would like it very much I bet if you made him some wurst too without burning it.  
__Again, don't worry, I will pass along both your messages to him as soon as he wakes up. He's exhausted today and is asleep on the couch right now. Caring for Prussia is a lot of hard work._

_My Best of Wishes to You -Canada, Matthew Williams_

After pressing the send button, Matthew moved on to the two from his brother. The first was just about him whining about his marital issues again. As irritating as always and he still had yet to ask Japan what the hell was wrong. His brother was such an idiot there just sometimes were not even words.

Moving along to the second email, it wasn't much different and, as usual, Matthew deemed neither worthy of a reply message. When he did reply, usually Alfred didn't check his email except when he had to send emails himself and even then, he just let them still pile up in his inbox, never reading them. He could probably find emails he sent his brother five years ago in his long un-emptied inbox. At least with snail mail the doofus actually responded.

His boss had yet to email anything to him and he found that odd. That was just too bad because Matthew was sure if he had nothing to distract him from this whole mess he would go insane.

Germany was some kind of distraction, but he was doubtlessly so dug into sleep as a tick was flesh, waking him would be impossible. Matthew almost laughed at comparing the German to a tick. He was hardly a diseased pest, but earlier he had almost felt like one. Remembering the things he said to him last night made he feel terrible. He was denying Germany a chance to help his brother get better… But as before, it had been Germany's choice those years ago to give Prussia to him. _He cares _now_ though…_ _And that's why I'm updating him every day after he leaves. _Sighing, he slumped down onto his desk, shoving his keyboard from the way as he did. He needed some coffee…

()()()

There was a knock at the door and Canada jumped upright in his chair with a surprised "eh!". His head whipped around, confused about the almost completely absent sunlight. Also the heavy smell of someone smoking weed. Oh fuck, he'd left the bag with Prussia' hadn't he?

Fixing his still dirty and cracked glasses he stood, yawning. "Who is it?"

"Who de fuck do you dink id ist?" Matthew's breathing caught in his throat and he hurried for the door, catching himself as he realized it was going to still be Prussia, not Gilbert. Taking a deep, cleansing (slightly smoky) breath he opened the door and looked to Prussia.

"Yes?"

"I'm like… Fery hungry." the spaciness of Prussia's voice made Matthew chuckle and Prussia stared at him in a confused way. On top of that, he positively _reeked_ of weed and by the sting in his nose, had found some of his liquor too.

"Got the munchies."

"Munchies?"

"Smoking weed makes you hungry," Matthew paused, yeah, that needed to be expanded upon, if only vaguely, "among other things." He inched by the man staring into space and began to head down the stairs.

"Zay, dere ahre whores in _Kanada_, _ja_?"

"That's another thing."

"Vhat's anoder ding?" Prussia noticed Matthew was quite a ways more away from him than last time he checked and began to follow after him down the stairs.

"It makes you horny. Please, if you must, use your shower and wash it out when you're done."

"Vhat?"

"You didn't get that at all… Looks to me as if you smoked more like a pound of weed than the mere ounce I had in the bag…" Shrugging, Matthew walked into the kitchen, giving Germany a cursory glance as he passed him on the couch. "Are you hungry for something in particular?"

"Zald…"

"Chips it is." Canada dug into beautifully stocked pantry and pulled a bag of potato chips from the mounds of snacks. "Hm, barbeque, nice job Ludwig." At Prussia's hungry look he opened the bag and held it before him, the man's hand plunged in and drew out but two small ovals of potato.

Tentatively, Prussia licked the potato chip and tested the flavor before raising his brow and looking to Canada, "Vhat dit you zay dis vas callt again?"

"… A barbeque-flavored potato chip?"

"Id vas a goot itea whoefer doughd of id." the albino said in a low voice before tearing the bag from Matthew and devouring the whole thing. Matthew took a few steps back, morbidly remarking internally that he was a lot like the wolverine from earlier. To him, Prussia even seemed like a child as he nearly swallowed the bag whole. A child that didn't know overindulging would bring discomfort later, unable to think far into the future, or even into the near future. Hungrily licking his lips, Prussia crumpled up the bag and tossed it aside, gaining Matthew's attention. "Anymore?"

"Didn't you ever learn not to eat so fast?"

"I'm _hungry_."

"You have the munchies, you're not starving. Now go away, I have to sweep the floor with all the crumbs you just got on it."

"Vhat dit you jus' tell me to do?" Prussia changed his posture to a more threatening one.

Matthew rolled his eyes, must he be so dramatic? "I told you to go away. I need to clean." A growl rose in Prussia's throat and the Canadian seemed largely unimpressed by this display, "Who here knows all your bodily weaknesses?" he simply reminded, the man was high, probably a little bit drunk and the least bit tired, there was no use fighting with him.

"Do you know vhere ahll dese scars come from den?"

"Are you bipolar suddenly?" Matthew mumbled, his tone something akin to plaintiveness.

"Vhat?"

"Skip it. You're too damn high to understand anything." and then he made a mistake, he turned around to get his broom and received an open-palmed blow to the back of the head. He flew forward, barely managing to catch himself on the doorknob of the pantry, still smacking his face against the panel of the door.

"You know… You're a bid schtupit. _Guten Abend._" Prussia departed the kitchen, but not before grabbing Matthew's head one last time and slamming it into the door. Through the ringing in his ears, as he slipped down the door to the linoleum floor, he heard Prussia chuckle to himself "_Sehr dumm_!"

Maybe he was, just as Prussia said, a little dumb. Or maybe it was more he was hoping for a solution in the short term. Maybe it was _he_ who was unable to see into the future. Unable to imagine life with this person instead of Gilbert. Was that him being optimistic or him being stupid?

Now was not the time to decide something told him. There had to be ways of making this whole problem a short-lived one. If words meant nothing to Prussia's memories, just actions, then he would have to work his hardest to re-create much of what happened between them. Of course, this barred several illegal acts and much of their loving over the past five years, probably most world meetings too. Taking him to a world meeting could potentially be the worst idea in the book.

Book… Wait… Verbal words may not be much, but Prussia had, however, kept journals since the day he was created… Problem was, he never got Gilbert to tell him where he had stuck all them in recent years. Matthew knew though that he had kept writing them even after his kingdom fell long ago. Wrote them to the very day…

An unwitting smile curved Matthew's lips as he formulated a plan. Germany would be able to help his brother too! Provided, of course, Germany knew where Gilbert had stored all his journals. Standing and poking his head into the front room, he watched Germany sleep, wanting to wake him, but realizing that wouldn't end too well.

It could wait until morning he decided. Merrily heading upstairs, not even bothering to clean his kitchen. He would do it in the morning as he prepared breakfast.

Stripping and changing his clothes, he got ready for bed, the grogginess of just awakening coming back to haunt him. The house completely dark, he slipped into bed, not caring about the fact Prussia could have still been awake just down the hall.

Finally taking one last deep breath, he sighed into his soft pillow and let sleep take him away from all his troubles. Even if it was just temporary. And once the morning came, he knew not to be fooled.

()()()()()

Notes:

Guten Morgen, Westen-Good morning, Westen.

Nein-No

Geh! Warmer Bruder-Leave! Warm brother! (literal) (Warmer Bruder is yet another way of saying someone is gay. It's a bit more polite than the last few that have been used.)

Danke-Thanks

Was bist du-What are you?

Faul-Lazy

Lieblich-Lovely/Sweet

Guten Abend-Good evening.

Sehr dumm-Very dumb!

Ahoge-This is more of an after thought as I can assume most people know what it is, but an ahoge (meaning something akin to "idiot hair") is the piece of hair that sticks out on an anime character's head. The Italy twins each have one so does Canada to clarify.

Okay, uhm… Yeah, it's lengthy, I didn't mean for so much unneeded things to be added into it (making this probably seem a lot like a filler chapter, but it's not!) I could have done better with it, but with so many distractions in recent days I apologize to all of you of whom I've disappointed ;_; There are important points within the chapter, very important ones so I hope you didn't just skim.

Something else, I'm graduating this fine day XD yep, June 5th. I had promised myself to finish the chapter before my Graduation and hey, a bit last minute, but mission accomplished!

If anybody remembers Prussia's strange slip of the tongue by this point, good on ya for informational reading :3 I dunno, I'm just the littlest bit loopy this morning. I have to get ready soon so I hope you enjoyed, _please _review, it makes things like this go faster even when I'm under stress (oh yeah that's right, it could have been later)


	5. Go With the Flow

I find that after graduating I wish to do little more than sleep until night comes. Of course, I realize that this is something I cannot do because everyone and their grandma wishes to function DURING THE DAY! I am not quite sure why this irks me so, but indeed, it does. Also, a word of advice, when in America and you see a "Road Work Ahead" sign coupled with a "Keep Right" sign, just do it…

**ATTENTION: The decision has been made to turn this story into a TWO PART work. The first part being Throwback, upon its completion, look for a sequel soon after.**

Thank you for your time and thank you for reading, I'll let you get started : )

()()()()()

Go With the Flow

"_It's so safe to play along  
__Little soldiers in a row  
__Falling in and out of love  
__Something sweet to throw away.  
__I want something good to die for  
__To make it beautiful to live.  
__I want a new mistake, lose is more than hesitate.  
__Do you believe it in your head?  
__I can go with the flow" _-Queens of the Stone Age

()()()

Of course the question is begged: won't be fooled by what?

The snore in Canada's ear alerted him that he was not alone in bed this morning either. Rolling over onto his back from his stomach he sat up and looked at the snoozing Prussian. Cringing at the sticky wetness of sleep drool on his face he wiped it off and shoved Prussia's arm off his chest, heading for the shower.

As he let the water heat up, he began to wonder why he had found Prussia in his bed this morning yet again. He had never known Gilbert prone to sleepwalking and why would Prussia wish to sleep beside Canada? Taking a deep yawn he focused on something else he found odd; he was strangely exhausted this morning. He couldn't have fallen asleep any later than eleven last night and the sun was soon to rise, there was no reason for him to be so tired.

_The shower will wake me up._ Canada thought, stepping into the spray of heat and steam. Groping for the body wash, he poured some into the palm of his hand and began to scrub, giving his body a curious look when he found some rough spots on his chest and stomach. They scrubbed away after some force had been applied, but he still wondered what the substance had been. The same thought came to mind when he washed his face, the drool must've crusted to his cheek or something while he was asleep.

Rinsing off his body, he began to apply shampoo to his hair, his mind drifting off into how exactly he was going to ask for Germany's help. He had already been very rude in telling him that he was going to be of no help in this situation and while Germany himself probably didn't hold grudges… It had only been a day or so, he might still be sore about it. Sure in the end he might help because it was Gilbert who needed the help, but he knew he probably wouldn't get out of it without having to make it up to Germany somehow. And if Germany had every intention of letting him get out of it without some sort of retribution… Well, that just wouldn't do, Canada would _find_ a way to repay him.

Concluding his shower by washing all the suds from his hair, he stepped out of the shower and toweled himself dry, wrapping the towel around his hips, he walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, his breath catching when he saw Prussia sitting up and staring at him.

"Good morning…" he tentatively greeted, walking over to his chest of drawers to pull out a set of clothes.

"_Guten Morgen…_" Prussia sounded suspicious about something and with Canada's back to him, it made his hair stand on end. Hearing Prussia stand up from the bed behind him, all of Matthew's muscles tensed, waiting for some kind of strike to avoid or take. None ever came and Prussia simply exited the room, not a single backwards glance or bothering to cover his bare-naked self. A relieved sigh was released along with all the tension in his muscles upon hearing the door down the hallway close.

Pulling on his clothes, Canada left the room and headed downstairs to see if Germany was up yet. Pleased to see that he was (making coffee even) he gave him a good morning smile and received a look of "_was_?"

"I came up with an idea last night right before bed." Sensing the pep in Matthew's voice, Ludwig stood up straighter, trying to show interest in his still groggy face.

"Vhat voult dat be?" he asked, pouring some coffee into a mug and motioning to the pot in case Matthew wanted some.

"Yes please." Matthew began, "And you know as well as I do Prussia is a journaling kind of man."

Pouring Matthew his coffee, Ludwig raised his brows in interest, sure it was a good idea in theory, but he had no idea where his brother even _kept_ his damn journals.

"It coult possibly be of use, dis itea… Bud how do you propose ve go aboud _finding_ dem?" he offered the cup to Matthew and the young blonde took it with thanks, taking it to the fridge to put cream and sugar in it.

"I suppose you could look for them… Maybe? I don't know, we could do it at night, I guess, when he's asleep if you don't want to do it alone." Two creams, two sugars, Matthew sipped his coffee and sighed, contented. "By the way, he's awake, found him in my bed again this morning and he doesn't appear eager to talk about it."

Germany shrugged at this news and drank half his mug of coffee on the spot in thought. "I like de plan of doing it at nighd. I don'd like de itea of leafing you vid him all alone. Vhen und vhere do you vant to schtard looking?"

"Tonight if possible, maybe at that house of his in… Was it Schwerin?"

"Noh, nod in Schwerin, it's oudsite it among dis small patch of houses. Nod more dan a dozen of dem und a couple schtores."

"Weird he lives in the country…"

"I doughd de same ding."

"But tonight and at his house, I finally get to see it." Germany nodded and seemingly dismissed this whole thing as just a normal occurrence as if it didn't even seem like helping the boy to him. "Uhm… You do know I'm going to need your help reading them… I can't read German."

"I know."

"And you're not-"

"I am a liddle, bud led it go. Ve say schtupit dings oud of anger."

"Well, do you want to stay longer-"

"No, I am contend as long as you come drough vid your ent of de bargain."

"Okay…" the two nodded at each other and Germany walked away into the book room, he had probably already eaten something, but Canada hadn't and was quite hungry. It was obvious that Prussia would be as well and he started working at breakfast. Prussia didn't seem too interested in pancakes, though it was clear he liked them, he wasn't religious about them the way Gilbert was. Instead of pancakes this morning, he made sausage, bacon, eggs and fried potatoes with cheese. Enough grease to give a nation a heart attack, but delicious all the same.

()()()

In the middle of cooking the eggs (the bacon cooling or in Germany's stomach, the same with the sausage, potatoes were still frying), Prussia walked into the kitchen, looking just as harried as Matthew, if not more.

"You feeling alright this morning?"

"Schud de fuck up." "Well, excuse me."

"Nod excust."

"No food for you then." Canada smirked, still scrambling the eggs in the butter and a lot of honey.

"Who zays?" Prussia sounded whimsical, but indignant.

"The cook."

"Does de cook hef de balls to back himzelf up?" now he just sounded mad.

"He has two strong arms and still hot frying pans."

"Touché." Matthew chuckled at the virtual complement, slightly amused that Prussia would even use the word. "Vhere ist _Westen_ dis morning?"

"Book room," Canada paused, feeling something was off once again and it smacked him just exactly what it was as Prussia turned to leave the room, "wait, you called Germany _Westen_…"

"… I dit?"

"Yeah… Do you know _why_ you call him that?"

"Noh… Do you?"

"Yes, but… It doesn't make sense for you to call him that now… Perhaps it is merely habit." Prussia's brow furrowed and he looked at Matthew curiously again.

"Id's only a nickname." and Prussia left in search of his brother.

"Yeah… I guess." Humming, Canada plopped the sticky, sweet eggs into a bowl and agitated the potatoes thereafter. "I think I can add the cheese now." he absently mumbled to himself, tossing shredded cheese on top of the frying tubers. Though he knew he shouldn't dwell on the mere slip of the tongue, he couldn't help but cling to it. However, a lot of good it did him when Prussia couldn't even remember _why_ he called his brother west. Taking a deep breath and sighing, he chose to let it go; he had better things to be thinking about.

()()()

The day passed slowly, violently at times, but slowly. Germany always attempted to be in the room with Prussia and Canada at all times, Canada felt like he was being babysat and Prussia was just suspicious of things in general. The oddly distressed tone of his face today rather worried Canada, but he knew asking him if anything was wrong really wouldn't get him anywhere.

Well, he could try anyway, "Prussia," Matthew didn't look up to him and moved a chess piece. It was perhaps a fruitless attempt at a game with him considering all his war tactics were still fresh in his mind; Ludwig had lost to Matthew though, so he was to take on the reigning champion. So far, he was getting nowhere.

"Mmn?" was the only noise Matthew got in response as Prussia examined his pieces critically. Gilbert was always great at chess too, preferring to play with his victims before taking them out. Prussia just seemed content to get the game over with.

"You seem almost out of sorts today. Is something the matter?" Matthew frowned as Prussia took his knight with a pawn.

"None of your beesvax." the albino smirked when Matthew took his bishop with a rook.

"You're in _my_, house, I should say it is my bee's wax." Matthew's rook was taken by another of Prussia's pawns.

"Bead me ahd chezz und I vill zee vhat I cahn do. Kesesese." Matthew's brow furrowed, he knew he would never win against him. Not with how Prussia still had practically all his pieces and Matthew's were slowly dwindling. He refused to cheat just for this, but it was damn tempting just to put the cocky bastard in his place.

"Asshole." Matt moved his queen to take one of Prussia's pawns.

"I know." Prussia said with a budding grin, taking the white queen with his black. He twirled the chess piece between his middle and forefingers, sticking his tongue out with an evil smile.

"You don't have to rub it in my face."

"_Ja_, I do." Prussia laughed, putting the wooden piece down next to all the other captured members of Matthew's army.

"No wonder Austria never could stand you."

"Fuck Schpecks."

"That's Hungary's job." Uh-oh… Usually this would have just been a normal joke, it was one that slipped many times between he and Gilbert… But now the tension in the air was a _very_ palpable thing. If Germany was any tenser his spine would have snapped. Matthew opened his mouth to apologize immediately, but instead had his captured queen shoved down his throat. Prussia threw the whole chessboard away to grab for him and Germany roughly grabbed Prussia first, pulling him away as Matthew continued to choke on the lodged chess piece.

"_Verfickt_!" shoving his brother violently aside, Ludwig hauled Matthew to his feet and placed his hands just under Matthew's chest, pressing inward quickly. Of course, the Heimlich maneuver was something Prussia had yet to see and just stared at how utterly awkward the whole thing was. Of course to him, it looked as if his little brother was attempting to dry-hump Canada and in the end had to turn away, a disturbed look adorning his face.

The chess piece shooting out of his throat, Matthew took a deep inhale, thankful for the sweet, precious air. Immediately as his eyes fell on Prussia, anger overtook his tiny frame "_C'est quoi ton problème_?" he screamed so harshly it was more of a screech. Prussia's eyes went wide and he backed up.

"_Er spricht__ Französisch_?" Prussia looked to his brother curiously.

"_Er ist der Sohn von Francis_…" Germany shrugged, thinking Prussia not taking Matthew's anger seriously enough. But no matter, Matthew merely sighed and looked away, letting his anger drain.

"I shouldn't have brought up Hungary. I'm sorry, eh."

"Fuck you." Prussia stormed from the room, grumbling as many obscenities as he knew under his breath.

_It is your job…_

()()()

The forest, always a good place to seek refuge. The forest didn't judge, it treated everyone the same, from the smallest of ants to the largest of moose. It didn't care who you were or where you had been, it was just there, offering solace to those who could find it within it. The forest had always been a place to escape everything for Matthew. Before he had moved into houses, before all this nonsense with leaders, he had had the forest. Well, and his frozen ice plains, but they were harsh places that only Kumajirou seemed to like and even he preferred the forests to the ice barrens.

He smiled and laughed in spite of himself, how nostalgic was he? Thinking all the way back over a hundred years to his childhood. For some reason, he wondered if Prussia remembered much of his childhood. Where did he go before his humans contacted him? Did he roam the forests like Canada had? Did he live in the mountains like the Scandinavians or was he more like his brother; preferring the open plains?

Canada wandered through the trees, Kumajirou keeping step next to him, Gilbird nuzzled into his fur.

"Sorry guys. Prussia screws up a lot of things doesn't he?" Gilbird made an angry noise in response and flapped his diminutive wings, raising himself up to Matthew's level before proceeding to peck at his head. "Hey! Stop that, you living tennis ball." the blonde gently took the bird into his hand and scratched the top of its head like Gilbert would've. "I'm just saying your master is acting stupid right now. He won't even feed you. And of course he doesn't remember you sweetie." Gilbird cheeped sadly and fluffed up his feathers in Matthew's hand. "I'm sorry." he let the small bird drift from his hand back down to Kumajirou's head. "Least I still have you guys to talk to, eh."

"Who?" the small polar bear asked.

"You."

"Me?"

"Gilbird too."

"Oh." Kumajirou continued to trundle along after Matthew, having to fight with the multitude of roots and the like jutting up from the ground. Matthew chuckled at the bear's plight and leaned down to pick him up.

"I wonder what in the world made you so small." he commented fondly, scratching Kumajirou's head, making sure to not disturb the depressed fuzz-ball seated in the fur. Kumajirou didn't respond and just hung from Matthew's arms, staring up at some of the various flying insects.

"Matthew!" At the voice, Canada stopped and sighed, looking over his shoulder and back towards the house that was barely silhouetted at this distance. To the point that while he could hear the owner of the deep voice, but could not make out his shape.

"Yeah, Ludwig?" he called loudly back in the direction.

"Are you coming back?" Ludwig yelled to him again.

"Of course! Is Prussia hungry or something?"

"Bod of us are! Bud, I can cook if you'll allow it!"

"No, it's fine, I'm coming!" Matthew sighed to himself and turned around, walking slowly back towards the house. At least he knew someone there wanted him around. Even if it wasn't the correct German-speaker.

As he walked, Kumajirou made a noise and he looked down to him, "What is it?"

"Be happier." the bear seemed to order.

"I'm sorry Kumakoko, I'll try to be a bit more." Matthew smiled to him and scratched him on the head.

"No, you won't." So even a simple-minded bear could see past is false smile, it hadn't even been that long and he had let the whole situation get to him so quickly. Was he really that weak a person? "But, you will be later. You're strong." It was as if the bear had been able to read his mind and tell him exactly what he needed to hear.

"How do you know?"

"Canada, how long have I been with you?" the bear had decidedly picked an odd time to become strangely articulate.

"A long time." Matthew answered the question with a blink.

"I know you."

"Why is it you can never remember my name then, huh?"

"Who?"

"Damn it."

()()()

At least some things never changed, Prussia had _always_ been a fan of a good, well-cooked steak. Okay, well-cooked couldn't really be said because Prussia was a member of the Bloody-Good-Medium-Rare club. If it wasn't still bleeding and oozing recognizable bodily fluids, he wouldn't eat it.

Germany, on the other hand, had more refined tastes, a steak cooked to well was good enough for him, well-done though, ew, he said the meat was unbearably dry by that point. All content with the food they had been given though, they all sat around the table and ate.

Prussia still exhibited his rather gentlemanly eating habits, rather than scarfing it as Matthew would have expected him to. Oh well, Gilbert had been the same way, why should he be different? Something that was different was the contents of Prussia's drinking glass. It appeared to be cranberry juice, but in fact it was laced with enough low-grade tranquilized to knock out a horse (this is a _low-grade_ tranquilizer now). What was more, Prussia seemed to like the taste of the juice and took intermittent drinks as he ate.

In all honesty, Germany and Canada were just waiting for him to pass out on his food or fall out of his chair suddenly, but this never came to pass.

Upon finishing his food, Prussia shoved his plate at Matthew and stood, showing no obvious affects of downing enough tranquilizers to kill a dog. Ludwig and Matthew looked to each other for a moment, incredulous, but both sighed when Prussia stretched and yawned.

"Musd'fe ade too much. I'm going to bet early." And upstairs Prussia went, Germany getting up and looking after him to make sure he didn't fall asleep walking up the stairs. Well, he didn't fall asleep on the stairs, but that loud thud certainly hadn't happened on the bed. Both of the blondes rushed up to see where he had landed. Right in front of his door actually. The two shrugged and left him be, he wasn't going anywhere at least and no one else was way out in the woods. He would be just fine.

()()()

"Maybe we could have at least given him a pillow, now that I think of it." Matthew commented as the two of them pulled up to the small house in the long asleep town. Berlitz, Ludwig's big German shepherd, snoozed happily in the back seat, waiting to be called by her master. Slightly Matthew wondered why he hadn't brought Aster or Blackie along, but the back seat was scarcely large enough for the one bitch.

"He vill be fine, jus' a bid schtiff." Ludwig replied, cutting the engine of the car and stepping out onto the gravel-dirt driveway. Matthew followed and gave the place a once-over look. Or, what of it he could see anyway. The only light there was came from the main street quite a ways back behind him, barely even illuminating the rickety front porch of the house.

"Creepy… I still think it's weird he lives here." he followed Germany towards the ominous building and stepped up onto the porch with a loud creak.

"Ve alreaty talkt aboud dis."

"No, that's not what I meant." Germany fished a finger into a hole at the top of the doorframe and extracted a key from it. He unlocked the door and stepped inside the drafty home, flipping a light switch on.

"Vhat dit you mean den?" the taller blonde looked around the house and went to the refrigerator, pulling out what appeared to be a half-pound of hamburger meat.

Not asking what that was for, Matthew started to explain, "Gilbert has one of the most grandiose and narcissistic personalities of any of us. Well, not really around me, but you know what I'm saying." Germany nodded and took out a plate, taking his gloves off. "And you, you're quite humble I want to say. Well, your personality, you don't seem like someone who craves really large things for himself." Tweaking an eyebrow, Ludwig put the meat out on the plate and looked to Matthew. "I don't really either, and yet, the both of us have multiple houses, big ones at that. You have practically another person's house on your second floor for when Prussia moved in. The extra kitchen and all… But here Prussia is, the most over exaggerated of us all with a one floor house."

"He hes a cellar too." Ludwig just added and shrugged, kneading the meat into a ball on the plate.

"What are you doing anyway?"

"Berlitz ist a goot girl normally, bud I vant to gif her a liddle bid more incentive to vork today." the blonde explained before turning on the sink and washing his hands off and drying them. "Take a look arount, I'm going to go vake Berlitz." Germany strolled from the house and Canada looked around.

The kitchen was simple, amazing it still existed at all, but it seemed as if the stove had never been used. There wasn't even a microwave present. There was also a closet pantry, the usual cabinets and a small table with two chairs at it shoved against the far wall. Humming and moving through an open frame into the next room, he came upon a sitting room of sorts. A television was present, though, once again, hardly used, a fireplace that seemed very commonly used with many cooking utensils scattered around it and on a rack nearby that, under normal circumstances, would probably hold an ash shovel, a poker and the other usual utensils for a fire. The couch in the center of the room seemed worn and inviting, a rocking chair by the window made Matthew laugh though. It seemed so unlike Gilbert to want such a thing in his house. By the fireplace was a door, probably the one that lead to his cellar.

Loud barks came into the house from outside, Ludwig must've been playing some kind of game with Berlitz to wake her up from her nap. Matthew continued on to another door, the room behind it probably joined with the kitchen, now that Matthew thought about the unused door in the room. Carefully (very creakily) he turned the knob and pushed the door open. Right away it was clear this room was Gilbert's bedroom. Clothes coated the floor almost completely, a computer and desk with an office chair was against one wall, another, directly beneath the window, was a bed large enough for about two people if they snuggled all night. The most amusing thing about this room though, was the fact that the walls were almost as equally obscured as the floor. They were all pictures Gilbert had taken of people. A picture of a naked Germany (censored stylishly with the scribble of a black sharpie) running at the camera caused a smile to curve Matthew's lips, he could imagine the look on Gilbert's face as Ludwig noticed the camera. Could also imagine the yelling the two would be doing. Germany's yelling, outraged, Gilbert's, facetious. Matthew sighed and his eyes fell on the picture sitting on the bedside table. Never would Gilbert admit to being sentimental or anything so degrading as that, but sitting on the end table was a picture of he and Matthew. They weren't doing anything really, Gilbert was drinking a beer while sniggering at something, Matthew was staring at him in an annoyed fashion. Gilbert always had said Matt looked cute when he was irritated.

The loud barks were now in the kitchen and a smooth stream of German with them. Exiting out the door he was sure lead to the kitchen, Matthew found himself in a bathroom instead… Well, door on the other end of the bathroom anyway. Opening _that_ door though, lead to an empty blackness with a staircase going down into it. He had two cellars? Or maybe it went to the same one. Humming thoughtfully, he closed the door and headed the long way around to the kitchen.

Berlitz sat at the ready as Germany explained something in great detail to her in German, he motioned to the hamburger on the counter and the dog looked to it hungrily before back to him.

"So, how is this going to work?"

"De paper smells difrend dan it does today." Germany broke for English before going back to directing Berlitz on her job.

"You expect her to remember the scent?"

"She hes _excellend_ memory for smells. She ist from de time a lod of his journals vere mate anyvay."

"And you're sure he will have his more recent ones with his old ones…"

"Ninety-nine-poind-nine percend sure." Ludwig looked sternly to Berlitz then, she stood, her back straight and ears erect, waiting for her master's command. "_Los_!" Immediately her nose was to the ground and at the cellar door. "Of course."

"What if they are just sitting out somewhere and this was pointless?" Canada mused in a nearly irritated way.

"Dey aren'd I'fe been into de cellar. It's fillt vid largely beer." Ludwig opened the door and Berlitz rushed down the stairs, almost smashing into a rack at the foot of them. Well, when Ludwig had said it was mostly beer, he hadn't been lying. Racks upon racks of beer filled the cellar, spider webs shared some of the living space too, no doubt the spiders that made them were still around as well.

Berlitz continued sniffing around, snorting numerous times to clear the dust from her nostrils. Eventually, she came to a wall, barking and clawing at it. Both of the humans with her made funny faces and raised their brows, walking to stand behind her and inspect what she had found.

"Perhaps dere ist a hole beyont dis suppord beam?"

"Gilbert has enough diaries to fill up an entire great hall, I don't think there was any chance of finding them down here. She probably just smells a stray piece of paper, God knows there is enough of it down here." Matthew looked over his shoulder to the crumpled and shredded bits of paper on the floor and on the shelves. Gilbert had probably foreseen Ludwig or someone else looking for his diaries some day and had done it on purpose. "Does he have an attic?"

Ludwig sighed downheartedly, "_Ja_, bud I dink you hev a poind. Dis whole house voultn'd be large enough to contain all his journals. Dey aren'd here."

"Where then?" Ludwig sighed again and called Berlitz off, petting her and praising her before pointing at the stairs and she running up them.

"I don'd know. Coult dey be at your house?"

"Where in my house?" Canada made a face suggesting he had already thought of that. "They might still be in your house. You have that sprawling basement he used to keep them in."

"He cleart dem all out in von nighd vhen he mooft out here."

"How? He had so many…"

"Schtop asking so many qvesdions I don'd know de answers to!" the German roared, his anger directed at no one in particular. "My bruder ist somehow a genius." Ludwig made an exasperated noise at the end, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry Ludwig, I just…" Matthew didn't know what to say and Ludwig patted him lightly on the back.

"It's okay."

"We seem to be doing a lot of pissing off and making up recently." Matthew then chuckled, earning himself a confused look from his friend. "We're like a married couple." Germany blinked once before letting a few tentative chuckles slip. Then a few more chuckles and soon he was laughing just as hard as Canada was. Ludwig slung an arm around Matthew's neck and pulled his head against him in an odd sort of hug. Matthew responded putting one of his arms around the German's midsection and resting his head against his collarbone. They calmed down after a little bit, intermittent ha-has escaping them. "I think we needed that."

"_Ja_, definidely." Sighing with a smile, they released each other simultaneously and looked around the room.

"As good as that laugh was, it seems we haven't found what we wanted to… In the only logical place it could be." For a second Matthew thought they had missed something. This thought confused him, however, as he knew it stupid to check a place so small for a quantity of objects so prodigious. He chose to let it be known anyway so he wouldn't be called the idiot about a week from now when they found something here on another search. "Are you sure we checked everywhere?"

"Here, ve'fe checkt _here_ efryvhere. Unless he suttenly vas ofercome vid some emotion compledely alien to him dat he sank all his diaries into de lake oud back… Bud I doubd dat dat ist efen a possibility."

"He has a lake?"

"_Ja_, don'd know vhy, I'm de schvimmer in de family." Ludwig seemed minutely distracted by something for a second before returning his attention to Matthew.

"Must've just come with the property."

"_Ja_. Enough small talk, ve are gedding novhere tonighd it voult appear." Matthew followed as Ludwig started up the stairs, asking "What do you propose we do then?" Ludwig replied with, "Go for a drink?"

"At a time like this? You two _are_ related." it was a statement intended for comedy, but all it earned Matthew was an angry glance over the shoulder. Normally, Matthew would have apologized, but he just wasn't up to it. It had been too long of a day and his throat still hurt from the earlier chess piece incident.

Upon arriving upstairs and walking into the kitchen, they found Berlitz sitting at the ready, waiting for what was next. Her owner merely sighed and picked up a small amount of the meat on the ends of his fingers, letting her lick it from them as he praised her. As he did that though, Matthew wandered towards the back of the house and out the door, standing on the back porch. He nearly found it comical that Gilbert had a porch on both sides of his house, but whatever, the house was very old and hence it wasn't of his design.

_Or maybe it was…_ Now _that _did make him smile. The chilly wind blew and he could smell the lake from where he stood, hear the bulrushes rustle and the trees sway. How far off into the darkness was it? A few feet? A few meters? Or was the plot of land so huge that it was way off in the distance? This land at night was exactly like his Gilbert.

"Matthew, ve're going. I neet to take Berlitz home."

"I know… I'm coming."

()()()

The expedited travel of nations across one another still made the night short the duo found. Sure it didn't take them two days to cross oceans to a new continent, but the traveling itself was still time-consuming. It was almost sunup by the time they were back at Canada's "summer home". Of course, Prussia was still where they had left him. His head in a decidedly more kinkful position than before, however.

"That's not going to be comfortable when he wakes up…"

"_Nein…_"

"Do you want to try to move him?"

"_Nein_."

"Want to wake him up?"

"_Nein_."

"You hungry?"

"_Nein_."

"What _do_ you want to do then?"

"Schleep…"

"Well too bad, kitchen's all out of that right now."

"_Verfickt._"

They both took a step back as the body at their feet stirred. A few garbled noises escaped it before something actually intelligible came from it, "Vhat de **fuck**, my neck!" And so it was in this way that another day began.

()()()()()

Notes:

Verfickt-Fuck (a bit more complicated than that but yeah…)

C'est quoi ton problème-What is your problem?

Er spricht Französisch-He speaks French?

Er ist die Sohn von Francis-He is the son of Francis…

Los-Go!

Sorry the chapter is so short and seems more like a filler than anything. Every chapter I write generally has some plot value and that occasionally is easy to miss so yell at me all you like for this one. The story, believe it or not, will actually get where it needs to be going once Germany leaves Canada's house ;P sorry that's taking forever once again… Erm… I feel like I should be saying something intelligent, but that is not possible at the moment as I am watching something called Live aus Berlin and it's eating up my head. So, right, I should have six up before long and I'm going to stop talking before I say something stupid. Too late, I guess.


	6. Schrei nach Liebe

This was a fun chapter to write and hence it's a bit longer, but oh, screw this nauseating sun-sickness D: I suppose it's what I get for spending seven-and-a-half hours in hippie town. My personal woes aside, enjoy.

()()()()()

Schrei nach Liebe

"_Du bist wirklich saudumm  
__darum gehts dir gut  
__Hass ist deine Attitüde  
__ständig kocht dein Blut  
__alles muss man dir erklären  
__weil du wirklich gar nichts weißt  
__höchstwahrscheinlich nichteinmal was Attitüde heißt  
__Deine Gewalt ist nur ein stummer Schrei nach Liebe  
__Deine Springerstiefel sehnen sich nach Zärtlichkeit  
__Du hast nie gelernt dich zu artikulieren  
__und deine Eltern hatten niemals für dich Zeit__  
ohohoh ARSCHLOCH  
__Warum hast du Angst vorm Streicheln  
__was soll all der Terz  
__Unterm Lorbeerkranz mit Eicheln  
__weiß ich schlägt dein Herz  
__Und Romantik ist für dich  
__nicht bloß graue Theorie  
__zwischen Störkraft und den Onkelz  
__steht ne Kuschelrock LP  
__Deine Gewalt ist nur ein stummer Schrei nach Liebe  
__Deine Springerstiefel sehnen sich nach Zärtlichkeit  
__Du hast nie gelernt dich zu artikulieren  
__und deine Eltern hatten niemals für dich Zeit  
__ohohoh ARSCHLOCH  
__Weil du Probleme hast  
__die keinen interessieren  
__Weil du Schiss vorm Schmusen hast  
__bist du ein Faschist  
__Du musst deinen Selbsthass nich auf andere projezieren  
__damit keiner merkt was für ein lieber Kerl du bist  
__ohohoh  
__Deine Gewalt ist nur ein stummer Schrei nach Liebe  
__Deine Springerstiefel sehnen sich nach Zärtlichkeit  
__Du hast nie gelernt dich artizukulieren  
__und deine Freundin die hat niemals für dich Zeit  
__ohohoh ARSCHLOCH, ARSCHLOCH, ARSCHLOCH_"-Die Ärzte

()()()

In retrospect, the pair had found it not only a bad idea to leave Prussia where he lay, but a _terrible_ one. It was all he talked about the entire morning. Just how _bad_ the kink in his neck was. As Matthew made breakfast, as they ate breakfast, as the kitchen was cleaned up; continuing on clear to lunch and now Germany and Canada glared death at him from over their mugs of coffee (for Matthew it was his fourth, Ludwig his third).

"Prussia, what was that whole nonsense about suffering without sniveling? This sure sounds like sniveling to me." Matthew had yet to have his balls subdued this wonderful day as he had done well to keep his mouth shut, but he knew it was probably going to come from the face Prussia just gave him.

"Id's nod snifeling, id's _complaining_. Dere ist a dif'rence." Prussia folded his arms and leaned on the table, shoving a plate with the crumbs of an eaten sandwich upon it away. For a moment, all Matthew could think of was the look in Prussia's eyes, they were particularly bright today and he just wished he could have said something without risking losing a vital organ or teeth.

"And what would that be?" the Canadian asked instead, staring him down. He got no actual answer, just a fork to the top of his unprotected hand. A screech ripped from his throat and he tried to regain his hand, Prussia pressed harder, keeping it in place. Germany just glared at his brother, realizing he would do something nastier if he tried to interfere with Prussia's very pointed explanation.

"_Dat_ ist snifeling." the albino twisted the for in the flesh and bone with a nasty grin, Matthew made another noise and bit his lip. "Kesese." Prussia chuckled, infinitely amused as he twisted the fork more and Matthew had to try harder and harder to remain quiet and calm. With a final "Kese" he released the fork and Matthew ripped the utensil from where it didn't belong. Blood quickly ran from the wound down his hand and to the kitchen table.

"Okay." Matthew accepted in a small voice. He jumped nervously when Ludwig took his hand and inspected it. The profuse bleeding quickly dirtied the German's hand as he assessed how bad the wound was; there would probably be a bone bruise to accompany the one already blooming on Canada's pale skin just beneath the blood.

"Led's go ged dis cleant up." Ludwig attempted to nudge Matthew to his feet but he stayed put, Matthew tugging his hand gently back.

"It's fine. I-I'll do it myself." The German frowned at him and sat down, knowing Canada just wanted somewhere to cry on his own. He could give him that much after last night's failed mission.

As soon as Matthew left the kitchen, Prussia resumed his griping as if he hadn't done anything wrong. Germany just sat there and took it, he was used to it after all.

()()()

In the privacy of his bathroom, Canada looked at his reflection in the mirror. Bruises coated much of his skin, Band-Aids and gauze where necessary. He took off his glasses and set them aside, rubbing his tired and slowly tearing eyes. Muffled yelling met his ears and he recognized it as Germany's, of course Prussia's soon joined in and a loud thud was heard. Fighting in his stupid kitchen over him… He wiped his eyes and took out some antiseptic, washing his hand first before pouring a little on his hand and hissing at the sting. Wrapping some gauze around his hand, he heard more thuds and yells from downstairs, they were in the midst of a fist-fight it seemed. His kitchen would be a mess, but Germany would probably win. Well… Maybe not, the Prussia _he_ fell in love with was, at heart, a softie, made that way by years of abuse that he once dished out to people. This Prussia though, Matthew doubted that _any_ compassion or anything similar could be present within him.

His knees failed him and he slumped against the wall, slowly sliding down it, sobs wracking his body. Never had Canada ever _hated_ someone. He could say he didn't much like them, but no, never hate… But he hated Prussia. Oh yes, how ever so much he hated him, he wanted him out of his life, but doing that would take any chance of ever having Gilbert back away. It would be worse than leaving him for dead.

A loud and blood-curdling scream broke the sounds of fighting and Canada knew Prussia was in the grips of another memory. Not one concerning him most likely since it hit him while fighting with Germany. He should have been happy, every memory brought Gilbert closer to him. But there were so many years of lost memories, he could be remembering anything given how eidetic his memory was.

Matthew sniffled and wiped his eyes again, tying off his bandage before standing up and looking at himself in the mirror again. He looked pitiful but he decided that was what he was.

()()()

Somehow or another, he had managed to walk out of his bedroom, down the hall, down the stairs and out the front door without either of the German brothers noticing him. They were wrapped up in their own things and now, for the past hour, Canada had sat at the edge of the lake by his home, staring at his reflection. Old stories had always said that your reflection was actually a reflection of your soul. Did that mean that even in his soul he was a piteous person? He was destined, so to speak, to be miserable? No, that didn't sound right, he had known happiness… But he had recently had that taken away so maybe it wasn't so incorrect after all.

Sighing and standing, he took off all his clothes (leaving his boxers of course) and neatly folded them at the lakeside. He looked out into the distance at a small lump in the middle of the body of water and jumped into the freezing water.

()()()

"Feeling bedder yet?" Ludwig asked his brother, taking another sip of coffee. Prussia had collapsed to the floor during his memories and had yet to get up.

"_Yes… Do we always fight over such stupid things_?" Prussia responded, going over the numerous memories that had just smacked him like a ton of bricks. Usually, the memories were in short bursts, episodic, but he had just received an entire _weeks's_ worth of memories in about a millisecond.

"Usually."

"_Why_?"

"Because ve are bruders. It's how it vorks."

"_Did Canada and I fight this much_?"

"I'm surpriset you're interesdet in dat… Bud no, nod like ve do. You two vere happy."

"_What does that mean_?"

"If you can'd figure it oud, I vill led you vid time." Ludwig looked away, taking another sip of coffee. If only he could just go to sleep and leave this babysitting to… No, no, no, he did that a long time ago, it was time to pay Canada back for what he had done for him. Speaking of whom, where had he gone? He hadn't seen hide nor hair of the boy in about two hours. Curiously, he tipped his head to the side in thought.

"_Why won't you tell me_?"

"Because it's nod my place to tell you." he sternly looked back to Prussia.

"_What can brothers not tell each other_?"

"Dings dat _aren'd_ dere place to schpeak of. Led it go." His brother continued to lay on the ground and grumbled to himself as Gilbert would have done upon being denied something. Germany stood up from the chair he had been sitting in for the past while and looked around, yawning. "I neet to see vhere Canada vent."

"_Why_?"

"Because he's currendly a wreck because of you und I neet to make sure he doesn'd do anyding schtupit."

"_Why because of me_?"

"Schud up, imbecile." Prussia stood up, anger darkening his features.

"_Don't you speak to me like that, young man._"

"_**Shut up**_." Ludwig shoved him from the doorway and kept walking, leaving Prussia to stare at his back as he left the house and slammed the door.

About three steps out the door, Ludwig caught sight of the boy. He was out in the lake just sitting there… Sitting on what, Ludwig didn't know but he could just barely see the pile clothes on the bank, so Canada was probably both wet and cold. Humming, he stepped back inside, ignoring Prussia's inquiries and snide remarks as he began to go to work.

()()()

"Hey! Matthew!" Unfolding his knees from his chest, Matthew looked over his shoulder to the shore where Ludwig stood. He was sitting atop a large, flat rock in the lake outside his home, it was cold out, the wind harsh on his wet, bare skin.

"Yeah?" Matthew called across the water back to the concerned German who seemed to be considering jumping into the lake himself to go get him.

"I hef some coffee mate und a fire going in your place! Come back before you ged sick!" Matthew felt like laughing, nations rarely got sick due to environmental things. Usually only economic hardship made them sick (or at least suppressed their immune system, just ask Alfred).

"I'm fine out here! Thanks anyway!" the Canadian answered, shuddering as a cold wind blew across his skin, giving it goose-bumps.

"Vhat?" It only figured Ludwig hadn't heard him. Sighing, Matthew tried again, "I said! I'm fine! Thank you anyway!" By Ludwig's headshake, Matthew guessed that he was going to come out to him. Tweaking an eyebrow, he watched Germany strip off his outer coat down to his black undershirt and take off his boots and pants. He dove into the cold water and made it to Matthew at an alarming speed.

"Wow…" Matthew said, impressed, taking Germany's arm and pulling him up onto the rock.

"_Scheiße_, it's colt." Ludwig shivered and tossed his head from side-to-side, mussing his gelled hair to spray some water from it. "Vhy're you oud here? It's colt und you're vet." Germany let his feet rest in the lake water, his back to Canada.

"Just wanted to get away from Prussia for a little bit. Enjoy nature, you know. Did you live in the wilderness as a kid?"

Germany snorted and shook more water from his hair, "You forged, I lift vid my bruder as a chilt, ve traflt a lod, bud I nefer really lift on my own like efryvon else dit. Vhen I vas de Holy Roman Empire I probably dit at some poind, bud, of course I can'd remember."

Matthew's face turned down in a frown, "I'm sorry to hear that, eh."

"Nah, it's fine."

"I don't think it is… Pardon me, I'm not trying to be rude. But, I just mean… When I was little I didn't really have anyone, well, I had Kumajirou, but no other one like me. I just… I enjoyed the loneliness, you know? Well, I guess you couldn't call it loneliness, I didn't know what it was until I was discovered by Francis." Matthew paused to suck on his tongue in thought, "I had the forest, myself and Kumajirou, that was all that I needed. It was peaceful. I had no wants other than to see the sun rise the next day and to wander around my land with Kumajirou at my side." he sighed. "Then I was found and… Francis would leave, to tend to his own things, leaving me be. I found out what anger was, longing and loneliness… So, whenever things got too much to bare, I would just go out into the woods for a little bit… Why I built this place. It's away from my troubles and the people I never wanted to know…"

"You're trying to escape Prussia and I now?" There was a small amount of humor present in Germany's voice.

"Didn't work did it?"

"Sorry, no." Ludwig smiled a little bit and patted Matthew on the back, not sure what to do.

"But, back to what I was saying," Matthew began again, not sure when he had ever spoken this much so frankly before. "I almost pity you, you from almost the get go were with humans, were with your brother. You never had the chance to love being alone like most of us had. Well… You have grown to _appreciate_ it, your breaks from work and having to deal with people… But you never lived in the full never being with anyone and not knowing anything different. Not knowing there were other things to feel than being content with the land upon which you live… I think that's why most nations don't go insane. They know there is so much about their land to love. They see in it what the humans don't and they can go to the places humans don't for their peace, to relive times when all there was was a free existence… You've always had people looking at you, teaching you speak, teaching you how to, to work, and to, just… You know what I'm saying right?" Ludwig stared at him for a long, curious moment, trying to comprehend just what it was Matthew was trying to communicate to him. But as a man that had never experienced the fullness of what Matthew had in youth, it was hard to grasp.

"I dink I do." he said quietly, looking over his shoulder to Matthew who was looking to him. "Vonce upon a time, I vas given Berlitz by _Osten_, he taught me to hunt and use her to my atfantage… Ve became separadet from my bruder for almosd a veek in de foresd vhile he vas teaching me… Und efen afder figuring oud de direction de camp vas in, valkt to de edge of de camp… I ditn'd vant to go back. It seemt… Poindless, I hat Berlitz und someding dat callt me to vanter… Bud vhen I vas aboud to turn arount to leaf… My bruder saw me, und de look on his face… He vas so relieft, he coultn'd belief his luck dat I hat fount my vay home to him. It vas de firsd time I hat hort anyvon say dat dey loft me. At first, he vas… Extremely ecstatic, den angry, he slappt me und yellt at me for aboud tvendy minudes schtraighd. Bud afder dat… Afder he calmt down, he vas so nice und caring, more dan I hat efer seen him efer… I coultn'd belief I hat efer doughd of leafing him. So vhen de call to leaf came again, und vhenefer Berlitz tuggt me to leaf, I ditn'd." Ludwig had long since looked away from Matthew and contemplated his reflection in the ripplely water. Would he be a different person if he had just left? Perhaps the world wars could have been avoided if he had.

"Why it was something important to experience before you knew too many emotions. I mean, before you could put words to them. It's easier that way… I kind of wonder if he remembers that…"

"He does. It's de only explanation for his attitute towarts me. He was dischtant vid me prior."

"I guess he must've realized how too good a thing you were to lose." Ludwig didn't respond to Matthew's observation and played with the water a little bit. "You know you are, right?"

Ludwig looked up and over his shoulder to his companion, confused, "Know vhat?"

"You're a good thing in this world." the two stared at each other for a bit, Ludwig feeling his face turn red. Spring wind blew making both of them shiver as nature sighed and refreshed the land. But, try as they did, they couldn't break eye contact. Something held them there. Something pulled them closer, a force neither of them could see. Slowly, Ludwig's face turning redder and redder, Matthew feeling much the same, their lips came within inches of each other.

"Hey! I'm bort ofer hier! Vhat de fuck ahre you two fags doing oud dere!" They jumped back from each other, Germany falling face-first into the water, Matthew chuckling a little bit.

"We'll be there in a minute Prussia!" Matthew called, slipping himself into the water and swimming past Ludwig. Glad that what had been about to happen didn't he left Ludwig to flounder around in the water a bit more, obviously flustered by the whole encounter.

Back at shore, Matthew shook off, wringing out his hair under the intense scrutiny of Prussia, Germany coming out after him. The two blondes made eye contact for a moment before looking away, an unspoken pact between the two forming, they would _never_ speak of this incident again.

()()()

Germany had indeed come through for him, a mug of coffee (two creams, two sugars) sat by a fire, a towel was waiting for him as well. Matthew sat down on the stone shelf in front of the fire and toweled off, Prussia walking into the room.

"Vhat vere you two doing oud dere?" The blonde jumped, having not noticed Prussia's entrance.

"We were just talking…" Matthew continued to tentatively towel off, his muscles stiff now that Prussia was in the room.

"Aboud vhat?" Prussia placed the boy's mostly naked body under intense scrutiny, observing the pale scars that discolored his skin. He of course didn't have half as many as himself… But at least Canada probably knew where they all came from "About our childhoods." There was an itch in the back of Prussia's mind. An itch that he hadn't really felt in awhile because there had been no need to feel it when a powerful man has everything he could ever want.

"Oh really?" Jealousy. Yes it was painful to admit that _he_ Prussia was feeling jealous. Or rather, his conscience was making him jealous. He wasn't totally sure what he had to be jealous of, only that he was.

"Uh-huh. We just needed some time alone."

"_Alone _time?" Prussia hissed, feeling the pinprick of his conscience flare up into a wave of jealousy.

"Not that kind of alone time. Your mind is going to places it shouldn't. So, perhaps I should make myself more clear. We needed time away from _you_." As soon as he said that Matthew immediately regretted it.

"Vhat?" Prussia advanced on Canada, making the smaller of them so nervous he nearly moved himself into the fire. Prussia realized he should have been in better control of his emotions, he wasn't supposed to have them after all, but the outrage he felt couldn't be contained. This confused him even more than his intense jealousy did. _What is your problem?_ He yelled internally at his conscience. All it did was pulse with more anger and jealousy at the question and pushed him to say something _else_ that confused him, "Vhy voult you prefer to schpent time vid him ofer me?"

"Because he's not a self-important jerk!" Canada chucked the wet towel at him and he caught it, throwing it down to the ground. "Why do you care anyway?"

"None of your business!" he growled, now on the defensive.

"It concerns me, so I think it _is _my business."

"Nod dis time!"

"You're jealous…"

Prussia's face screwed up, shame coming over him as he realized he'd been caught, "Vhy voult I be?" he snorted and looked away, folding his arms.

"I don't know…" Canada absently drummed his fingers on the stone shelf as Prussia grumbled internally to himself, his conscience now laughing at him.

_What are you laughing about, fucker?_ Of course it didn't answer and merely laughed harder, it would have been slapping him on the back had it arms.

"Do you actually want to be friends?" the small Canadian sounded optimistic.

"Noh."

"Why not?" Now he was plaintive.

"I hef noh reazon to be." Prussia unfolded his arms and stuck his hands in his pockets, looking over the scars on Canada's body again with interest. "I do, howefer, visch to know vhere zome of dose scars came from…" From where he stood, he could see a blush working at Canada's face, for a moment he wondered what that was about; but just dismissed it as him being a bit timid about being half naked in front of such a great man.

"Well…" First his finger went to a small, but long one, it appeared to be a burn, on his stomach, it was nearly gone, "This is from the Halifax explosion in 1917. The world's largest, man-made, accidental explosion."

"Who vas responsible?"

"It was accidental, so it's not really anyone's fault, but it was caused by the collision of a French cargo ship and a Norwegian ship." Prussia snorted, finding such an occurrence rather funny, it figured to him that France was involved in some way. He motioned for Canada to move on. "I got this when my brother attempted to invade me in 1776, I was called the British province of Quebec then." The scar, once again, was small and faded. "War of 1812." It was larger than the other two, but still faded as the others had been. "Er… Spanish influenza… Killed over 50,000 people you know." It was a bit odd to have a scar caused by a sickness, but many affected European nations carried some sort of reminder from the long ago Black Plague. "Uhm… Is there anything in particular you want to know about?"

"_Ja_."

"What then?" Prussia removed his shirt and pointed to a big spidery one on his back.

"Dis von."

"Oh…" The syllable immediately made Prussia stiffen. The long pause Matthew took after it only served to make the tension in his body worse. "That's from when you were dissolved just before World War Two." Canada said solemnly.

"V… Vhat…?" He was… _Dissolved_? He was dead? "Vhy ahm I…" He couldn't even finish his sentence… This couldn't have been true. No! He couldn't have been dead! He was still there wasn't he? Alive! Breathing! Kicking ass… He couldn't have been…

"You were the property of your brother for a long time, the only reason we think you didn't die is because of this." Canada paused to nervously bite and suck on his tongue for a moment. "However, at the end of World War Two, your brother was sort of… Sectioned off in areas, a piece of this went under Russian rule. Lucky for you, a new part of Germany was created and you became it instead of someone else being born. It was called, simply, East Germany… Uhm… Forgive me if the German is incorrect or mispronounced for your real name, _Deutsche Demokratische Republik._"

"Goot enough for zomevon dat doesn'd schpeak German… Condinue." Prussia sat down on the ground, feeling his legs go weak and his stomach churn. If he remained standing for much longer he would've vomited.

"So… You went from being the Free State of Prussia, _Freistaat Preußen, _to the DDR… Or GDR here… You can guess what happened mostly while you were with Russia."

"Bud I'm nod vid him anymore… Vhy ahm I schtill hier?"

Canada took a deep breath and twiddled his thumbs a bit, "We don't know… After the Berlin Wall fell and we integrated the two states in the late eighties you still lived… A small part of you is still connected somehow to the eastern sector of Germany, but we also think that it has something to do with Kaliningrad Oblast."

"Vhat ist dat?"

"An exclave of Russia… Everyone thought that a new person was going to be born for it, like what happened in the case of Northern Ireland, but it never happened… We think it's your rightful nation. But there's nothing proving that."

"Vhy do you dink dat id's me?"

"Because it's the last remaining piece of East Prussia. It used to be the major city of Königsberg before having its name changed to Kaliningrad." That last bit had successfully left Prussia totally dumbstruck. What was he supposed to say to that?

"Zoh… V-Vhat ist my official name?"

"The dead state of East Germany." Canada had the grace to look away and let Prussia mull over this new information in his head. There wasn't much going on in his head though. It was just a blank. He was dead, he had no more influence over the world, he shouldn't have even been alive…

_But what was that then…? I felt like… Like I was alive… I had grown stronger._ He shook his head in denial, holding it and covering his eyes. Shielding himself and his shameful tears from the world he was no longer a part of.

"I'm sorry Prussia… I didn't want you to find out so soon."

"Vhy ditn'd you tell me?" Prussia didn't dare look up, afraid of what his emotions were doing to him. Afraid of the conscience in the back of his mind that already seemed to know the truth and was not the least bit surprised. It was still as ashamed and terrified as he was, but it wasn't surprised.

"Because you would not have listened and I like having my face in one piece." Prussia felt Canada's warmth as he knelt down in front of him, heard his heartbeat as he pulled his head against his chest. "I'm sorry…"

"Ged ovf of me." Prussia shoved Canada away from him and stood, glaring through his tears helplessly. The boy stood as if to say something else, but he wanted to hear nothing from him and stormed from the room and up the stairs to his room. He slammed the door and locked it behind him, dropping to his bed, covering his eyes again. It wasn't true, it couldn't be… Everyone knew that once a nation was dismantled that they disappeared. It happened that way with his father, it had happened that way with Rome… Fuck! How had he died? Who the fuck had killed him? Who had the _gall_ to go up against the great and mighty Prussia and fucking _win_? Fuck the world, it wasn't good enough for him. That had to be why he wasn't a part of the nations anymore. That had to be it!

Maybe he was so special though that he beat death. Even the dark angel himself couldn't tear him away from life. He was just that great. A chuckle escaped from him and he suddenly didn't feel so bad anymore. He was just _that_ awesome, he couldn't die from simply being dismantled! It took a fuck lot more than that to get rid of him!

Taking a deep breath, he wiped his eyes off on his arm. He let out his breath and stood. He was Prussia, he could do this, he could muster up whatever was left of his dignity and face Canada again without being all sobby-eyed. Sure he had kept the truth from him, but he had told him it anyway… He could have just lied…

()()()

As all of this went on upstairs with Prussia, Matthew was moping with the fire. He shouldn't have told Prussia he was dead. No nation should ever have to hear that.

"I hort _Osten_ run upschtairs… Vhat happant?" Germany asked, walking into the room and sitting down in a chair next to where Matthew moped on the floor.

"I told him he was dead."

"Vhy on Eard dit you do dat?" Ludwig sounded angry, but was going to let Canada explain himself.

"He wanted to know what some of my scars were… Then he asked about one of his. One that you gave him." Matthew examined the carpet, it needed cleaning from all the ground in mud over the years.

"His dissolution?"

"Yeah…" his fingers played absently with a piece of lint.

"Vhy ditn'd you lie?"

Matthew looked up to Ludwig, sadness in his eyes, "I couldn't lie to him… And he'd made me angry. I felt like hurting him like he had me… I thought it would somehow make me feel better," and he looked back down to the floor, "but it just made me feel worse afterwards… I hate Prussia so much… But I love Gilbert still and seeing him in that state, no matter which he is, hurts me more than I could ever him." Matthew felt a warm hand on his back and he looked up at Ludwig. He sniffled once and pressed his lips to the German's. It didn't matter in that moment who was on the receiving end of the kiss. He just needed some kind of caring physical contact. Even if it was an empty one at best. Was he really so needy that this person could have been a prostitute and it would still have made him feel better? It didn't matter, this was Ludwig, he had just done something they had silently agreed never to do.

Surprisingly enough, upon trying to pull back, with full intension of apologizing for such an unwarranted action, Ludwig didn't let him. In fact, he deepened the kiss, licking at Matthew's lips wantonly. Letting out a lustful sigh, Matthew opened his mouth and threw an arm around Ludwig's neck. The German responded by leading Matthew up off the ground and the Canadian gladly climbed to sit astride Ludwig's lap. The kiss slowly grew hotter until something proudly throbbed between Ludwig's legs and Matthew realized they couldn't do this. He broke the kiss in an attempt to put an end to this very stupid idea, but this gave the German an opening to bite at Matthew's neck and suck.

"Oh, God." Matthew moaned, Ludwig continuing to lick and suck at the bitten area on his neck. The German's strong hands slid down Matthew's back to his buttocks and gripped them tightly, earning another lustful moan from Matthew as he leaned into the ministrations now. "Ludwig…" Their hips bucked together, Matthew gasping at the much needed contact. "Ludwig we need to-Ah!" Ludwig had bitten him again, roughly moving them down from the chair to the floor. As the larger party began to forcefully grind their entrapped members together all Matthew could think about was how bad the rug burn after this was going to feel.

Wait! Wait! He couldn't do this! He wasn't some random guy! This was his boyfriend's _brother_! The feeling of something hot invading his boxers and the free feeling thereafter in his groin area broke his concentration, Ludwig had his hand on the proudly standing organ, wiping the pre-cum around on it after spitting in his palm. "Ludwig! Stop! We can't do this… Please!" Tears were in Matthew's eyes again, but now for a different reason. He wanted this so bad it hurt, but he couldn't do it. Not to Gilbert, even if he wasn't conscious within Prussia, he couldn't, it would weigh on him worse than anything he could ever say to Prussia.

He ground his head back into the carpet, reaching for Ludwig's hair as the German dragged his tongue slowly up the underside of his shaft and sucked on his sensitive head. Matthew quieted his moans and took a deep, shaky breath. Did this count as rape? He couldn't say he didn't want it, but it was Germany… He _couldn't_ was what it was.

"Ludwig," Matthew almost sobbed, "please stop." Somehow, he managed to sit up and grab Ludwig's gelled-back hair. "Neither of us wants this…" He pulled roughly at the German's head and he released Matthew's starving penis. Ludwig looked at Matthew's face then back down at his penis and then sat back away from him, holding his head.

"I'm sorry. I ditn'd… I-I vasn'd…"

"It's alright… I think…" Matthew couldn't bare to look at Ludwig. The awkwardness was close to suffocating, what the fuck were you supposed to say in this situation? "We're never speaking of this again' alright? It seems that a mere silent agreement means nothing to either of us."

"_Ja_…" Ludwig looked over to Matthew and then back down at his hands, moaning "_Mein Gott…_" Why had he done that? Was he really so sexually _starved_ that he had to assault his friend like that? A boiling pot of revulsion and anger built up in his stomach until he felt like vomiting. "I… I schoult leaf." He stood and made to leave the room, but had his pant leg caught in Matthew's grip.

"No, don't. It's my fault for starting it. I need you here. We just need to be careful that this doesn't happen again, okay?" Ludwig couldn't muster the strength to speak and just nodded. "Okay… Good."

"You schoult go to bet… I vill schtay avake und vatch Prussia…" Ludwig had still yet to look at Matthew and still averted his eyes as he stood.

"Thank you…" Matthew carefully put himself away and took the towel that Ludwig had left out for him and wrapped it around his waist. "I'll see you tomorrow morning…"

"You too…" Matthew left the room and headed upstairs, leaving Ludwig to wallow in his own kind of guilt.

()()()

Oh God, he had so _not_ just seen that! Prussia felt like vomiting, he felt like screaming, he _really hadn't_ needed to see that. It was disgusting and revolting! How many terrible things must he suffer through in one day? And _why_ hadn't he seen it coming? _Oh, because I actually thought that Canada was straight_. How could he ever have been so stupid? He should have known! Did that mean that Germany was cheating on Italy with Canada? Or did that mean that Canada was cheating with Germany or-what the fuck had just happened?

He was thankful that he walked away at the first "Oh, God." from Canada because staying any longer and he was _sure_ he would have thrown up from sheer disgust. He paced in his room, a feeling of unknown outrage and further jealousy filling his veins and giving him the urge to punch someone out. Really, he wasn't totally sure where either of those two emotions came from, but the disgust he felt was making it easy to not examine them. At the base of all these swirling emotions, though, he found cold, hard, throbbing disappointment.

There was a knock at his door, and he glared daggers at it.

"Bruder?" So it was _Ludwig_ was it?

"Vhat do you vant, fag?" Prussia spat, he didn't want either of them to _know_ he had seen that, but it was hard to ignore. The image of his brother grinding on that, that… He couldn't think of a word offensive enough to call Canada to properly express his feelings towards him. Either way, the image was permanently burned into his god-damned, fucking, eidetic memory. _I hate life._

"_Canada didn't sleep at all last night, he's going to bed early so leave him alone._"

_Liar!_ "Fine den, goh de fuck avay, I'm nod in de moot for talking."

"Okay…" Ludwig sounded as if he had been struck by something and Prussia felt him leave the door. Was he really so mad at his brother? He was still his brother no matter what kind of sexual antics he got up to. For Christ's sake he was more mad at Canada than anything. Why his anger preferred to direct itself more at Canada than his brother he wasn't sure. Just that he felt Canada should have behaved better. Perhaps that feeling came from his buried memories. Maybe the him that the two of them knew knew that Canada was actually involved with someone else. That would explain the disappointment he felt. If he had a great friend that suddenly cheated on someone he claimed to be committed to, he would be disappointed in them as well… So, Canada was the one that was cheating and that was why the anger was more directed at him than Ludwig. Though he was sure he still felt some sort of anger at his brother, just less of it.

Sighing, he plopped down on his bed and laid back. What a stupid day this had been and he just wanted it to be over. God only knew what kind of nightmares today was going to give him… What kind of nightmares his newest memories were going to give him. Taking a deep breath and sighing once more, he let dreamland whisk him away under its fuzzy wings.

()()()

It was not morning, by the clock's standards it was, but by most humans' no. Night still firmly enveloped Canada's little corner of the world (okay, big corner), but something just wasn't right. Canada felt his skin heat and sweat, his heartbeat and breathing increase, his eyes slowly slid open as he quietly gasped, fingers gripping the sheets. The pleasure he was experiencing was teasing at best, as if whoever was doing these things only wished to get him hard before leaving him in agony. Instinct driving his body to lift his hips into the pressure, his mind had not yet fully awakened to respect the situation for what it was.

Another light moan and he was pretty sure of what was happening then, only thing was… Who the fuck was grinding against him? Squinting his sleep (and naturally) blurred eyes, he fruitlessly sought for the form above him in the darkness. But so complete was the darkness the only thing he had to go on that someone even _was_ above him was one; the body heat, two, the grinding on his pelvis, and three, the heavy breathing.

Now, if he were any more awake, he would have been freaking out and screaming, and he was about getting there as his nerves slowly woke up and allowed more complex motor and mental control. Instead, the paralytic that was sleep fought against these natural reactions and Canada merely reached over and pulled his glasses on, switching on the light afterwards.

Finally, his world having focus and light, he could freak out. He quickly bit his tongue to prevent a scream and made sure to place himself completely board-hard beneath the man above him. Yeah, it was Prussia alright, though something told Canada he wasn't totally there. Whether it was the practically robotic movements of the body or the barely opened, unfocused eyes he couldn't have said for sure. All he knew was that _Prussia_ was on top of him and engaging in frotteur-esque behaviors.

Hmm, okay, still not totally sure what was more frustrating about the situation, the fact he was being dry-humped and wasn't allowed to respond or the fact he had no idea how to extricate himself from this probably soon to be sticky situation (very sticky). He couldn't call Germany for fear of waking the obviously sex-somniac-symptomed albino (also that would be awkward) and he couldn't really move all that well given his position.

Trying to shove aside the irony of this whole situation, quickly he thought of his options. He had read somewhere that all people who exhibited various parasomnias like Prussia was were open to suggestion… Soooo… Canada cleared his naturally calm and persuasive voice before asking, "Prussia? Dear… Harder if you will?" He couldn't believe he'd just asked that and sighed when he saw it had been a fruitless effort… Well, maybe not, a sound slipped from Prussia and the movements of his hips intensified. A slightly louder noise came from Matthew as it had indeed been an unexpected action. Unfortunately, since it _had_ worked, he was finding it increasingly more difficult to think straight. _Damn it!_ Oh why couldn't this have been a simple situation of somnambulism or somniloquy? _No_, Prussia this night had _had_ to have a damn arousal parasomnia! "P-Prussia, I need you to stop, please."

"Vhy?" he mumbled, still very much asleep.

"Because you need to go back to bed. So, go to bed."

"Hmph, you're noh fun…" but, he flopped back over off him onto the bed next to him, his usual, quiet snores the only sound in the room. Hmm… If this had happened the past few nights Prussia walked to his bed, it could very well explain why he had been unusually tired in the morning… It also would explain the strange crusty stuff he had found on his skin two mornings ago…

_Ewwww…. _Was the only thing that came to mind at that realization. And why shouldn't he think that? Prussia had shot a load all over him while he was _asleep_. If that wasn't grade A sexual harassment he didn't know what was. Yeah… Tonight was going to be a good night for some heavy drinking with Ludwig. He still had enough of that horse tranquilizer left to put him out for two days.

Maybe he could pick up a prostitute too… Ever just had one of those mornings where you wake up horny? Well, this morning _more _than fit that description, especially after last night in the book room.

"Oh, God." Matthew groaned at the memory, pinching his eyes as his face turned red. Today was going to be awkward, _big time_. But did using a prostitute in this case violate his moral code? Oh, who the fuck was he kidding, it _always_ did. An evening with his hand and a vibrator it was. The woes of being male and having a holy-hell of a libido. No one ever really would've pegged Matthew for that type of person, but just look at who he had picked for a boyfriend.

Taking a deep breath and sighing, he rolled over onto his side and looked to the prostrate body of his lover. He carefully put his arm across Prussia's back, switching to lay on his stomach like Prussia was. Steeling his nerves and ready to bolt if Prussia should wake, he leaned in and lovingly kissed the silverette's temple. He nuzzled his ear, gaining him a contented sigh from the other.

"I love you Gilbert, come back to me soon, okay?" Another kiss and he rested his head back on his pillow watching him sleep.

"Mattie…" the sleeping man sighed and Matthew's heart swelled, yes, it was a subconscious thing that made Prussia sigh his name, his Gilbert wasn't there, but it felt so good to hear his nickname wrapped in Gilbert's accent.

"I'll see you in the morning." There was no answer this time and Matthew, though very horny, made it back to sleep.

()()()

Why hadn't he punched him yet? It made absolutely no sense to him; it disgusted him upon that same level as well. Here this little fag was, the one that screwed his brother, draped over him and snuggled next to him as if he did it every day. His cute, sleeping face made Prussia want to vomit, the fact he could call his face _cute_ made him sick to his stomach. There was definitely something fucked up in his brain going on and his conscience told him to do nothing but lay there next to him and stare. It was totally contented with this situation and he couldn't' stand it.

Prussia had stopped questioning his exhaustion every morning and his being in Canada's bed. Sure, he still didn't understand how he fell asleep in one bed every night and woke up in a different one every morning, but when it was something this consistent, he shouldn't question it.

He tried to sink himself further into the sheets as Canada took a deep morning breath and yawned, stretching. His big, bluish-purple eyes slowly slid open and fixed themselves on Prussia's red ones. Canada's face immediately went pale and his eyes wide.

Prussia's face merely screwed up into one of anger and he growled in a deep, low voice, "_Guten Morgen, Sonnenschein_." He bolted up right in bed as Canada squealed in terror and wheeled back off the bed, his head making a solid "thunk" on the floor. "_Sehr intelligent_." Prussia rolled his eyes and got up out off bed with a yawn. Damn thing _had_ to fucking be contagious.

"Why are you in my bed every morning, Prussia?" Canada's voice was already at its quietest and it was only morning, today was going to be primo day for pushing the little fluff-ball around.

"_Ich weiß nicht._" Prussia stated simply, scratching his inner hip area. Today would be a good day to whack off, he was feeling it for some reason. Of course, then again, what day _wasn't_ a good day for that. He chuckled to himself and realized he also would like to smoke some weed and drink too. Wanking after drinking and while smoking weed? Holishit! He couldn't think of any better activity on a day like today. Yes, he had a plan of action!

"Figures." Canada replied, completely oblivious to the inner-workings of Prussia's mind this fine, Sunday morning. Usually, Sundays were reserved solely for sex, partying and weed. It just hit him anyway that it was Sunday and hence it was nothing new that he was horny today and had considered going for a drink, it had become a natural bodily reaction after five years. His body had gotten used to the routine of a morning romp on Sundays then a quick stop for breakfast, a bit of fooling around, some weed smoking and hanging out until the clubs opened and then going out with Gilbert… Fuck, today was going to be terrible.

Sighing and looking over, Matthew noticed the zoned-out look on Prussia's face. There wasn't anything the least bit distressed about it, but he seemed caught in something far away. Maybe his memories were becoming less and less painful… Or he could have just been trying to will away that raging hard on between his thighs. So, Sunday was having the same affect on him too. No doubt he also felt the intense need to drink and smoke pot… Today wasn't going to merely be terrible… It was going to be fucking awful.

()()()

"Ludwig… Today Prussia and I are going to be… Exceptionally weird." Matthew warned first thing as he walked into the kitchen to start on breakfast. The German merely blinked and looked up from a book he was reading to him. By the way his tongue flopped aimlessly around in his mouth before he could say anything, it was clear that he was still embarrassed about yesterday.

"Uhm, vhy?"

"Sundays are… 'Us' days… Which will likely mean Prussia will not cause trouble if we leave for a drink tonight. He will be preoccupied with his own… Activities." Germany shuddered at the thought and looked away, taking a sip of coffee. "I'm sorry to traumatize you like that. But now for a question, you want to come drinking with me tonight?"

"Is dat a brighd itea afder lasd nighd?" Canada honestly thought of his question. No, it didn't really seem smart, but he was confident in both of their abilities to say no. Plus, when the drinking was over, they could crash in separate motel rooms. There was no way they were coming back here smashed as they would be.

"We can go boozing, dancing a little bit and when it's all done, we two, completely sozzled, can rent separate motel rooms until morning." Matthew explained, a hopeful tone obvious in his voice. Ludwig still looked dubious but now gave the proposition serious thought. "Come on, _this_ is what we both need. And Prussia won't object."

An unwitting smirk curved Ludwig's lips, "You are… Surprisingly persuasive, Matthew." Matthew smiled brightly, knowing he had won. "Vhen do you vant to leaf tonighd?"

()()()()()

Notes:

Translation for the lyrics above:

You are really dumb,

which is why you're doing so well.

Hate is your attitude,

your blood boils constantly.

Everything needs to be explained to you

because you really don't know anything,

most likely not even what attitude means!

Your violence is only a silent cry for love,

your combat boots long for tenderness,

you have never learned to articulate yourself,

and your parents never had time for you ... ohhh... asshole!

Why do you have fear of caressing, what's the meaning of all this nonsense?

under the laurel wreath with acorns, I know your heart beats,

and romanticism is not only grey theory for you,

between Störkraft and den Onkelz is a Kuschelrock LP!

Your violence is only a silent cry for love,

your combat boots long for tenderness,

you have never learned to articulate yourself,

and your parents never had time for you ... ohhh... asshole!

Because you have problems that interest nobody,

because you have fear of intimacy you are a fascist.

You don't have to project your self-hate on others,

so nobody notices what a lovely man you are ... ohhh...

Your violence is only a silent cry for love,

your combat boots long for tenderness,

you have never learned to articulate yourself,

and your girlfriend never has time for you ... ohhh.

Asshole, asshole, asshole!

Scheiße-Shit

Halifax Explosion-December 6, 1917, took place in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, the French cargo ship the SS Mont-Blanc, fully loaded with wartime explosives, collided with the SS Imo, a Norwegian ship, in "The Narrows" of Halifax harbor. The resulting explosion killed about 2000 (1950 confirmed names) people and injured about 9000. All buildings and structures covering nearly two square kilometers (500 acres) along the adjacent shore were obliterated, including those in the neighboring communities of Richmond and Dartmouth. The explosion caused a tsunami in the harbor and a pressure wave of air that snapped trees, bent iron rails, demolished buildings, grounded vessels, and carried fragments of the Mont-Blanc for kilometers. Indeed is still labeled as the worst accidental explosion in human history.

War of 1812-A war between the United States of America and the British Empire particularly Great Britain and the provinces of British North America (Canada). Lasting from 1812 to 1815, it was fought chiefly on the Atlantic Ocean and on the land, coasts and waterways of North America. Fun fact, Canada burned down the White House.

Deutsche Demokratische Republik-German Democratic Republic (German abbreviation is the DDR and the English abbreviation is the GDR, d'uh)

Kaliningrad Oblast-An exclave of Russia located between Poland and Lithuania, it is the last remaining piece of East Prussia (of course it isn't recognized as that) nearly all of its inhabitants are Russian rather than Prussian.

Frotteur/Frotteurism-Someone who has/the condition of a sexual fetish for rubbing up against an non-consenting individual.

Sexsomnia-Fun fact, it is a real parasomnia in which the affected performs sexual acts to themselves or others while they are still asleep. Its oh so very clever name was coined by a Canadian XD

Guten Morgen, Sonnenschein-Good morning, sunshine.

Sehr intelligent-Very intelligent

Ich weiß nicht-I don't know

Ahem, the lyrics… Matthew's pretty hateful at this point remember… And yes, instead of using a select few lyrics, I chose to use the whole song, it fit very well with this chapter I felt.

So, things are certainly picking up speed, holishit I had fun writing this chapter it makes me smile profusely in many ways. I hope it makes you smile as much as it made me. I also wish you to think about this, if your lover doesn't remember you, does having sex with someone else make it cheating? In this situation, is there a difference between having sex with a stranger or having sex with someone you know? Is one more morally correct than the other? If in Canada's place, would you take the opportunity or not? Leave your opinions and interesting responses in your reviews please, I look forward to hearing others ideas on this subject.


	7. Sleepers Don't Dream

Oi, as much as I love writing, I've finished a chapter and begun to write the next one today alone X( it's bloody Friday night! I should be doing something! But instead, here I am writing… I'm a sad person sigh. Okay, maybe not, this is my one day I haven't done anything in awhile and it's almost pleasant. I think instead of finishing the next chapter tomorrow I'm going to go to Kentucky… Yes… That sounds nice. Excuse my ramblings and here's the chapter.

Since I am using their lyrics and I personally know them, I am going to ask you if you like mellow, awesome music, check out the band O Discordia! on myspace listen to some of their music and become fans : )

()()()()()

Sleepers Don't Dream

"_Can't shake this feeling,  
__Seems so true but so unreal,  
__Blue skies, green fields,  
__Seems so near but yet so far.  
__Come to play but not to stay,  
__Doomed to return to a cold world,  
__Come stay, don't leave,  
__Drink in the sun, sing with the stars.  
__Wake up, you're dreaming,  
__Wake up, you're dreaming.  
__Please don't wake me,  
__I want to dream,  
__Please don't leave me,  
__I must be sleeping."_-O Discordia!

()()()

Prussia stared blankly at them, his mind obviously in a different place rather than paying attention as he should have been a few seconds ago.

"Vhat?" he asked, tipping his head to the side, his eyes fixed firmly on a case of beer and a bag of weed in Canada's arms.

"Canada und I are leafing for town tonighd, okay? Ve von'd be back undil tomorrow. Ve jus' neet to know if ve can trusd you to schtay here. Canada is villing to led you hev all de beer und veed you vant if de haus is nod going to be demolisht vhen ve ged back und if you promise to remain here vhile ve are gone." Ludwig explained carefully, his brother was usually a man of his word in deals like this, but he had to agree to them first.

"You're nod fucking ahre you?" Prussia tactlessly inquired, leaning back in his chair. Canada and Germany looked to each other in that second and Canada sighed.

"Noh, I hat some vodka vhile you two vere alone… Eferclear…" Ludwig looked away blushing, hoping his brother wouldn't catch him in his lie.

"_Yeah…_ W-T-F moment, your brother is horny when he's partially drunk. Sorry that you saw that." Canada sometimes didn't like how he was good at deceit, but in this case he didn't mind at all. It would also keep Gilbert off his back when all his memories _did_ come back. Well, actually, Ludwig wasn't a horny drunk, he was a happy one… Or rather, a bipolar one, happy one second, say something to piss him off and he was one sadistic bastard in a hurry.

Prussia made a face of "_ooooh_" before nodding his head and accepting that answer, he guessed it made sense. Hell, when he was drunk he was horny and couldn't lie, as far as strange drunkenness went, he won. He also knew that if his little brother ever pressed himself on someone it would be hard to fight him off. It was probably especially hard for Canada… Suddenly he almost felt sorry for the small blonde, but he seemed used to having sex with men, or maybe he simply got Germany to stop… _That _must've been his real reason for going to bed early last night, he wanted to get away from the awkwardness. He nodded, finding himself very clever in deducing what actually happened.

"Zoh, vaid… You're nod a fag?" Prussia pointed to Matthew questioningly who just made an annoyed noise and rolled his eyes before responding with "Can we _please_ get to the actual reason we're talking to you?" Germany shook his head and pinched his nose.

"He hes a poind bruder."

"Oh fine, vhat ist dis deal again?"

"We want you to stay here tonight, smoke weed, drink, watch television, eat… Masturbate… _Anything_ just make sure you stay here and you don't turn my house into a war zone." Canada explained, getting tired of holding the upfront part of the deal. Prussia stared at him suspiciously before speaking, "Zoh… I ged to ead vhatefer, vatch vhatefer, profitet you teach me how de telefision vorks, drink ahs much bier ahs I vant, smoke ahs much veed ahs I vant und masdurbade _vherefer _zoh long ahs I schtay hier?"

"Uhm… Try to keep the masturbating in a place easy to clean up and not in my bed." Matthew felt his face go red talking about masturbating so openly with a man he barely knew anymore. "Otherwise, that's correct."

"Und if I vere to zay 'noh'?" Prussia challenged with the tweak of an eyebrow.

"We have enough horse tranquilizer around to put you out for two days straight and we will use it." Prussia blinked confusedly at Canada's stoic response and considered his options again.

"Okay, zounts like a goot deal." Canada put the case of beer and the bag of weed in front of Prussia straight away and the man took them like a duck to water.

"Rolling papers." Matthew pulled some out of his pockets. "Go to it, you will have the rest of the deal before we leave." Prussia made a "kesesesese" noise before snatching the objects and starting for the book room. He stopped for a second and looked over to Canada, making the motion of igniting a lighter with his fingers. "Oh. Here you go." Canada removed a lighter from his pocket and tossed it to land on top of the case of beer next to the weed and rolling papers.

"I neet to figure oud how de telefision vorks…" Matthew looked to Ludwig, he was not in the mood to be teaching Prussia anything, not when a single touch from him could correct the leaning tower of Pisa for hours. Ludwig made a nervous noise before nudging past Matthew and following Prussia into the book room.

Matthew took a deep breath and sighed it out, well, while Germany did that, he might as well get a _little_ bit of his horniness out. He walked upstairs, into his bathroom and locked the door.

()()()

"We haven't even left yet… He's completely inconsiderate." Matthew was referring to the moans emanating from the book room. "Also, that room is _not_ easy to clean."

"Vhat do you care? You dink I ditn'd see de schtains on dat couch?" Ludwig crassly reminded, irritable for the same reason.

Matthew just felt his face go red and looked away hiding his embarrassment by cleaning the lenses of his glasses.

"Also, vhat are you vearing?"

Blinking, Matthew surveyed his clothes, skinny-ish jeans, a colorful, short-sleeved tee and skater shoes. Defintely not something you saw Canada in every day, but it was a Sunday for crissake! It had been Gilbert's idea that he wear different clothes and these were much more appropriate than what he originally suggested on the first "_Tanzsonntag_" those years ago, "My dance clothes…" Matthew explained in a small voice, "I will be wearing my hoodie if it will make you feel any better…"

"Ve're nod going to von of your gay bars are ve?"

Completely embarrassed, Matthew scratched his cheek and responded in a timid voice, "I-I thought you wouldn't mind… W-We can go somewhere else if you want…"

"I voult like dat. Sorry if I'm nod comfortable vid uhm… Adfertising."

"I-If you don't mind my saying you-"

"I **do **mind."

"Oh, sorry." Matthew began to pace, looking over his clothes, he didn't look gay, did he? He looked a little skate punk (minus the dyed hair and Mohawk), maybe a tad ravish, but not gay as far as he was concerned. But just in case… "Uhm, do me a favor then… Uhm… Keep me from being harassed?" Ludwig stared at him and tipped his head to the side in confusion, reminding Matthew of Gilbert just a little bit.

"Vhy voult someone harass you?" It made no sense in a nation that allowed gay couples to marry nationwide since 2005.

"Same-sex marriage might be legal here, but not everyone is okay with it. You would be surprised at the amount of dissenters still present of the gay community in general." At the look Germany gave him, Canada sighed and looked to the ceiling in a "why" kind of way. "You know what, you were worried about something bad happening anyway, how about we drive there and go our separate ways? We each pick a place to hang out and when one of us is done with their business they find the other and hang out until they're done and we can go to the motel?"

"If you like dat plan den I do too."

"Alright, good." Matthew fidgeted with his fingers again before going to pull on his hoodie. "We need to come through on our end of the deal with Prussia before we leave." Ludwig nodded and Matthew walked into the book room. The sight be beheld made thoughts of smacking the Prussian's hand away and riding him himself very prominent in his mind… Also very tempting, but he had to resist! _Oh, but why?_ "Prussia…"

Making a discontented noise, Prussia pulled a blanket over himself and let an irritated, red eye slip open to regard him. Wiping his hand off on the blanket and sitting up, he hissed angrily, "Vhat?"

"Sorry to interrupt 'you time'," Matthew started almost snarkily, using air quotes as he would if he were referring to Gilbert, "but Ludwig and I are leaving soon. I need to know what all you want before I leave."

"Oh…" Now Prussia didn't seem as annoyed and he tipped his head back to think. For about the next five minutes he named off every kind of alcohol he wanted, some of it Matthew had to decline getting because it was either illegal or he had no idea what it was. "I don'd know vhat I vant ahs fahr ahs veed… Do you hef any suggesdions?"

After creating the massive pile of alcohol Matthew was sure Prussia could never drink in a million years even if he nearly killed himself every night, he smiled. "I remember your favorites very well."

Prussia couldn't help a smirk and sat back into the comfortable couch, "Den, perhaps ve _ahre_ freunds afder ahll." As overjoyed as he was to hear that, Matthew knew it most likely wasn't true. And even if it was, it was always possible that Prussia's definition of friend and the regular definition of friend were two completely different things. Still, that smirk was continuously one that could make Matthew's heart speed up and a want to kiss him bloom in his chest and tingle his lips.

Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out three separate bags and tossed them to the Prussian, "Woo, dey schmell awesome…"

"Of course they do, one of them is a blueberry hybrid. Careful how much of those you smoke, marijuana _is_ a hallucinogen after all and all either of us needs is for you to have a particularly bad memory trip while your brother and I are gone." Matthew sincerely warned. "If you're all set, Ludwig and I will be leaving."

"_Doch_, _ich bin bedient_!" Prussia replied confidently, smirking happily and producing a small spasm in Matthew's groin. Okay, he was either leaving **now** or sexually assaulting Prussia. He picked the least likely to kill him.

"See you later." Matthew nearly bolted from the room and dragged Ludwig out the door with him, the two beginning their hike for the car.

()()()

"So, uh…. I nefer figuret you to be so…"

"I know." Matthew sighed (it occurred to him that he had been doing it a lot recently) and kept driving.

"I voult hef peggt your bruder for more of de… Sexual type. Doughd you sait dat he had more drife dan you…" Germany was noticeably uncomfortable with the subject, but at the same time was extremely curious.

"Oh he does. If it's pretty and has breasts, he'll screw it."

It took Germany a second to find the problem in that, "He's marriet to Japan dough…"

"He is." A more depressed sigh escaped him this time.

"Do you mean dat he…"

"Is a chronic cheater? Yep." Matthew saw the completely lost look on Ludwig's face and took mercy up on him. "He loves Japan… Really he does and I'm pretty sure Japan loves him just as much. But my brother has never been one to be faithful. It doesn't matter how much he loves someone, a pretty girl will come along and he'll have sex with her. What's worse is it has gotten to the point that Japan doesn't even ask what Alfred has been doing on nights that he doesn't come home." Germany remained quiet, being let into the world that usually only the North America brothers were privy to was surprisingly grim.

"I don'd unterschtant how he can do dat… How can you lof somevon und jus'…"

"Alfred loves sex. That's how."

"Bud he has Japan…"

"Yes, he does, he has him and says he looks enough like a girl, which I would kind of like to see him say that to Japan's face, but… Like I've said. It doesn't matter how much he loves someone, he can know a pretty girl for five minutes and want her in bed with him. He's always so stressed out why Japan is mad at him and usually it's _because_ of this. Of course, Japan doesn't want to address the issue because of how he is and just finds other things to harp on him about."

"I nefer doughd his lof-life vas so complicadet…"

"No one would ever think yours is either." Ludwig looked away, shaking with some kind of emotion, it made Matthew sorry for ever mentioning it. "Everyone and their grandma is having issues with how the world is right now."

"Dis issue ist more dan jus' recend you know."

"Of course, Alfred's has been life-long, so hey."

"Und I hef to go back to it tomorrow…"

"Don't look at it that way, you're going home to Italy." Once again Matthew found that he had nicely inserted his foot into his mouth as Ludwig sighed sadly and looked away, out the window at the passing landscape. "You know I don't mean to be rude, right…?"

"Of course." The two traveled in silence after that. Neither wishing to speak of their relationship problems or attempt to divert their worries with frivolous talk.

()()()

Matthew stopped the car in front of a raucous bar, the noise audible from the curb. It was a sports bar of sorts and he could tell immediately it had Ludwig's full attention. The German got out of the car and looked back to his friend from the curb.

"Are you going to be okay alone tonighd?" Ludwig asked, truly worried.

Confused, Matthew tipped his head to the side, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I mean… Afder lasd nighd…"

Now Matthew's brow furrowed, "Do you not think I have self-control? I think you've for-"

Ludwig quickly waved his hands in a placating manner for Matthew to lay off, "I'm sorry, I ditn'd mean it like dat."

"As long as Gilbert doesn't have a twin brother I don't know about that lives within my boarders, I think I will be fine." Matthew replied light-heartedly. He knew Ludwig was sincere in his worry and didn't mean to come off the way he did, he had to be happy tonight, it was Ludwig's last night in Canada.

Ludwig chuckled nervously, before he asked, "Vhere are you going to be at again?"

The Canadian scratched his cheek, quite embarrassed, at least he wasn't going to "Nothing Served Straight" further down the road, "A club down the street, My Place or Yours."

Germany stood there for about five seconds with a truly perplexed look on his face. "Is de owner German by chance?"

"I don't know… Strangely, Gil asked me that same question, why?"

"Dere ist a gay bar in Berlin called _Zu Mir Oder Zu Dir_. Means de same ding."

"Uninventive?"

"Perhaps… Anyvay, goh hef fun." Ludwig closed the door and waved to Matthew as he drove off before entering the bar.

()()()

Usually Matthew never noticed the eyes on him whenever he entered this club. Without Gilbert in the vicinity, however, he had never felt eyes so acutely. Why was he even _here_ if he wasn't with Gilbert and not interested in picking anyone up? Or being picked up as it had been before he and Gilbert had anything established.

_To dance? Well, originally you were going to hang out with Ludwig, but there's not much for you two to talk about now anyway._ Mumbling to himself he walked up to the bar and sat down, not liking one bit how he was immediately eyed by the two men sitting on either side of him. _I could top both of you fools now just look away._ One of them attempted to touch him and he just smacked the hand, earning him an odd look and an apology. The man on the other side just sniggered and Matthew rolled his eyes, thankful Gilbert wasn't around for that. Both of them would have ended up handless if he had anything to do about it. Now that he thought about it, even when Gilbert was away in the bathroom or whatever, no one ever attempted to touch him. Was Gilbert really that scary to others?

He ordered some sort of fruity-flavored drink as the music pulsed in the background and bobbed his head.

In the midst of his drinking (he was on his third by this point) both of the gentlemen on either side of him had left. His head was now pleasantly buzzing as he watched the television.

_Aren't you here to dance or something? No, I'm pretty sure I'm here to kill time until it's acceptable to go to a motel and masturbate all night long. May or may not include dancing._

"Matthew?" The blonde blinked at the unfamiliar voice and looked around for it, his eyes landing on a human. "Hey it is you!" The man was in his late twenties with red-brown hair and an attractive smile. He did look vaguely familiar and Matthew's pickeled brain groped for a name, settling on Frederick. Well, here was hoping he got it right.

"Hey! It's Rick right?"

"Frederick, but Rick's cool. Mind if I have a seat?" Matthew shrugged and took a sip of his drink as Rick sat down next to him with his own. "So, what've you been up to?"

Matthew searched fruitlessly for any prior conversations he'd had with this man and just came up with blanks. The man was rather friendly for someone he had no recollection of ever having met.

"I've been okay, I suppose." _If you average out the last five years with this single event…_

"Where's your man?" Rick asked, taking a drink. So, he at least knew Matthew had a boyfriend.

"Not here tonight. He told me to still go out and have fun even though he was working. I don't really think he comprehends this is only fun because he's with me."

"Why didn't you tell him that?"

"He wouldn't have any of it. He didn't want to ruin my evening." Frederick hummed in thought, sipping at his beer.

"I've always heard that he's a very selfish individual. Not that you should take offense to that, of course!" Frederick chuckled nervously at the look that was beginning to come over Matthew's face. "It's just what I've heard… It hardly seems true."

Matthew's eyes dropped to half-lidded annoyance, but he still had a smile on his face. "I don't know who told you that, Gilbert hates socializing with other men in places like this."

Frederick tipped his head to the side in confusion, "Hates socializing with _men_?"

"He _loves_ flirting with women and I don't necessarily mind." Yeah, he minded, but there some kind of cruel justice in that if Gilbert ever did cheat on him with a human, she would die. Gilbert rarely got emotionally attached to women (Hungary was perhaps the only exception) so that was something else he didn't have to worry about. Matthew, to be frank, didn't care if Gilbert wandered just a little bit, just as long as he didn't have any emotion attached to the person he screwed. Sure, yes, he would still be pissed and disappointed if Gilbert ever cheated on him and he would raise hell about it, but at the end of the day, it would just be some human that Gilbert cared nothing about and had put six feet under.

"You let him _flirt_ with women?" Frederick asked, confusion thick in his voice.

"He doesn't care a lick for women. I mean… Doesn't care for them on an emotional level. They are something pretty to look at. Men on the other hand, he likes being friends with them."

"Sounds rather chauvinistic." Frederick said with a chuckle.

"Oh, he is, I keep telling him to be nicer about it, but he doesn't ever seem to understand what I'm trying to say." Matthew thought about the _last_ time they talked about it with a smile. Gilbert just kept finding ways to avoid the subject until he eventually completely circumnavigated the whole issue and they just had sex in the kitchen.

"So what's up with you and him then…? If he's only ever looking for friendship?"

"He says I'm a special case." Was he really? It certainly was a possibility that he wasn't… Gilbert became emotionally attached to men and there always was the joke that Matthew looked a little bit feminine… Oh God, he couldn't think of this now. He didn't need this kind of doubt when he couldn't just ask Gilbert about it.

"That's a tradgedy waiting to happen if you don't mind my saying."

Matthew's grip tightened on his glass, "Actually… Yes, I _do_ mind your saying." Matthew finished his drink and stood, heading for the dance floor. Frederick quickly sprung to his feet behind him and followed him.

"Wait, I didn't mean to be so rude."

"I know, but you crossed the line. I don't even _know_ you, sir. I remember your name and that is it. Do not assume you can make such comments to me."

"Can I make it up to you somehow?"

It certainly was worth giving thought to. After all, Frederick did seem like a pleasant man, he meant well and hadn't openly tried to antagonize him. It just so happened that their conversation went somewhere it didn't belong.

"Alright, go on." Matthew said with sweet intonation, motioning to him.

"Let me buy you lunch sometime? I swear this is not a come on, I want to get to know you and I really just want to make this up to you."

The blonde sighed and looked away, folding his arms over his chest as Frederick waited patiently for his answer. He _had_ said that all he wanted to do was get to know him better and it wasn't some sort of come on. But people did lie… And Matthew was partially drunk…

"Alright, that sounds good. I'm sorry, my schedule is very busy so it might not be any time really soon."

"Perfectly okay. Here's my number." Frederick whipped out a notepad from his satchel and scribbled down a number before ripping it out and handing it to him. Matthew looked the number over before folding it and sticking it into his sweatshirt for safe-keeping. "Just call me whenever you'd like to set up a time." Matthew just smiled good-naturedly, probably he would never take him up on it. "So, want to dance?"

"I don't see why not."

()()()

Ludwig was smashed between two rather burly men who acted as if they had known him all their life. What was more was that they were getting beer all over his uniform. Why was it he insisted upon wearing it rather than civilian clothes when Canada could have readily produced some for him? The one to his right yelled loudly in his ear as his favorite team scored a goal in the hockey match they were watching. If it were soccer and he were in his boarders (and possibly if Gilbert was there) this would have been awesome. But no, he was next to people he didn't know, in Canada and watching hockey. Not that there was anything wrong with hockey, he just could never get into it.

He was very much considering finding the club Canada was at and joining him there. Even if it did mean he could possibly be hit on nonstop. Well now, that sounded very self-confident… He had never had any illusions that he was unattractive, but he couldn't afford to complement himself, oh no, that was Gilbert's job. _He_ was the narcissistic one, not him.

But still, it could have been a very valid point that it was more pleasant where Canada was at than where he was. At least it was guaranteed not to have loud, _very_ drunk individuals yelling in his ear and nearly choking him.

"Hey, I god to go, so, release my het, please?" The large Canadian looked at him in a way that suggested he was completely bombed and wouldn't have been able to tell you what two plus two was. On second thought, he would have been able to tell you, just the answer would be something around the area of Bob. "Really, led go." Ludwig tried to remove the arm that held him in a headlock as gently as he could. This man was only a human and he couldn't afford to accidentally break his arm.

"Whyre ya leavin' s'soon?" his new "buddy" slurred.

"I hef somevon vaiding for me elsevhere." Ludwig once again tried to extract himself from the man's huge bicep and failed. It looked like he wasn't getting out short of using some of his actual strength. After something so slurred_ Ludwig_ of all people couldn't understand him, he had had enough of this nonsense. He grabbed his forearm with his left hand and pulled, wrestling the arm from his neck and probably ripping more than a few muscle fibers by the sound the Canadian made.

"What's your problem?" his less than drunk buddy to Ludwig's left said, standing. Honestly! The German hadn't really even hurt the bastard and his friend was getting bent out of shape?

"I vantet him to led go und he ditn'd, I efen askt nicely." Ludwig threw his formal coat over his arm and turned to leave.

"Hey!" He felt a firm hand grasp his shoulder and he turned around to look, getting a face full of fist. Snorting some blood from his re-busted nose he shook out his head and turned angrily back to the human.

"You hef **noh** itea vhat you hef jusd done." Ludwig growled in his intimidating bass, his accent thickening with anger. Suddenly beating the living shit out of both the Canadians no longer seemed like a bad idea. He noticed that a significant amount of other bar patrons stood up, glaring straight at Ludwig. So, it was him against the bar, eh? Well, bring it the fuck on!

Cocking back his fist he let his first punch fly, it hitting the human square in the stomach and knocking him back a good few feet and onto the bar itself. The floodgates then opened and an entire torrent of people crashed down upon him.

()()()

This whole thing was a great deal more boring than he would have ever expected it to be. Eating, watching television and drinking at the same time was not what he wanted to be doing tonight. He found himself so incredibly bored that he couldn't even muster the enthusiasm required to masturbate.

_What the fuck is the matter with you?_ Prussia mumbled something even he didn't understand as a way of answering his own question. Who knew that drinking in large quantities and smoking pot was only fun if you had someone else around? Otherwise the whole deal just depressed him. He wished he had Ludwig around, or even Canada would be nice. He could tease both of them and beat up on the scrawny little blonde as much as he wanted. It wouldn't even need to be serious beatings on him, it would be in good-natured fun!

His conscience, he found, pulsated with the same over-whelming boredom that he did. So, in the event of boredom that made him not want to do anything, period… Examine the constitution of this strange thing in the back of his mind that he could only describe as his conscience.

Poking it with a mental finger it seemed indignant that he was examining it at all and attempted to shove him away. Instead of taking its "advice" he pressed on and pushed it harder, irritating it all the more and making him smirk. Vaguely, he wondered what Canada's conscience was like, if it was yelling at him every time he was beat up. Or maybe it was disgusted with him for what happened the other day. Maybe he would ask when he got back tomorrow, if he remembered that was.

Continuing with his harassment of the presence in the back of his mind it was slowly becoming a hot pinpoint of rage. Prussia found himself chuckling before jabbing at it one last time and finding it retaliating in a most unusual way.

A scream that tore his throat raw ripped from his lungs as a terrible pain began to split his cranium. _I'll teach you to fuck with me! _A voice that was his own and yet not filled his consciousness, tearing him away from the concrete world and swallowing him up into oblivion.

()()()

"Matthew!" A deep reverberating voice managed to break through the blare of the music. Everyone froze and looked to the large blonde at the door. Some whispered amongst one another about how attractive he was, others thought he was there to beat them up. The man at the door sneezed, spraying blood for about five feet despite the fact he had his hand up.

"Holy… Ludwig! What happened?" Everyone looked to see Matthew disentangle himself from a dance and dart across the room to the German's side.

"Ve _neet_ to go." The urgency was clear in Ludwig's voice, so were the bruises that were beginning to show up all over his face.

"What did you do?"

"Nod now, jus' run!" Germany bolted out the door, the sounds of police sirens in the background.

"What?" Not sparing the club a backward glance, Matthew ran after him, finding it hard to even catch up with the athletic man. "Wait! Ludwig! What did you do?" he grabbed onto Ludwig's sleeve and found himself dragged along after him.

"I vas trying to leaf und dis guy voultn'd led go, so I hat to remoof him und his buddy god mat-"

"_Remove_ him?" The pair rounded the corner of a building, nearly slipping in a puddle. The shouts of officers close behind them as the both ran down the alleyway.

"Gendly! It vasn'd like I vas trying to rip his arm off or noding!" They skidded to a halt in front of a six-foot brick wall between the buildings, blocking the rest of their escape route. Flashlights shone down the alley straight at them, the officer that bore it yelling at them to stay put. "_Verdammt_!" His piercing blue eyes turned to Matthew and he grabbed his arm, tossing him up and over the wall.

"Ow! God, Ludwig!" Matthew yelled upon contacting the dirty pavement on the other side. The palms of his hands were skinned a little bit but wouldn't impede the use of them. By the time he was on his feet Ludwig had managed to climb over the wall with expert speed. The police yelled to go around to the other side of the building and the German grabbed Canada's wrist, pulling him along after him as they both fled. "So, why are you running?"

"De fighd soon became de whole bar! Dey're blaming _me_ for it!"

"Did you start it?"

"No!"

"Then why didn't you tell them that? Aren't you a stickler for rules?" They exited the alleyway and caught sight of a few officers that had been pursuing them. "Damn it." Ludwig started the yanking again and Matthew was sure his arm was going to be dislocated by the end of this venture.

"It voult be me againsd a whole bar! Do you honesdly dink dey voult belief me?" Deciding that they weren't running fast enough, Germany hoisted Canada up by his wrist and tossed him over his shoulder. Canada releasing a hard breath as his shoulder drove into the boy's stomach.

Grunting a steady stream of ows as Ludwig's forceful, bouncing gait continuously beat Matthew's gut into the bone of the German's broad shoulders, he managed to cough out, "How did you get a whole _bar_ against you?"

"Dey all liket each oder? I don'd know." From his backwards facing position (and a very unsteady one) Matthew could tell that the police had gotten into a car and were now pursuing him in a way that no amount of athleticism could out do.

"Lud-wig! I sug-gest that you ei-ther find a place to hide or you grand theft auto some-thing!" Matthew yelled, his sentence chopped into bits by each drive of Ludwig's shoulder into the bruising muscles of his stomach.

"Hiting it is!" Sliding to a violent stop (nearly falling over to the pavement because of the unnecessary weight on his back) Ludwig rounded on his heel and bolted down a set of cement stairs into a cellar of sorts. Busting the door down with his military-issue boots, the two of them surprised the group of people gathered below. Everyone stood as they crashed through the congregation of people (over-turning tables and the contents thereof). The owner tried to stop them and Matthew clung helplessly to Ludwig's back as he shoved the man aside as gently as he could allow and ran into the storage room, slamming the door behind him and locking it.

A ragged coughing starting Matthew's chest, Ludwig dropped the boy to his feet and received a very angry look.

"Couldn't you have been nicer about this? We're nations, there isn't anything to be afraid of!" Ludwig was taken aback and looked away, scratching his cheek at his rash behavior. Heavily sighing, Matthew looked around the room, "Look, either way, we have to find a way out of here. As long as we are putting ourselves up a creek, why not do it thoroughly?" the small Canadian explained with a devious smile. Gilbert had gotten to him over the years. Every time they got into situations like this he was always angry, but looking back on it, it was a fun memory. "Ludwig, can your shoulders and chest fit through that?" Matthew motioned to a small, street-level window. The German turned and examined it, his shoulders would fit, but he doubted his broad chest could.

"Vant to see?" He picked up a bit of scrap pipe that was laying in the corner and destroyed the window, cleaning out the glass as best he could. A violent banging came to the door then.

"We know you're in there! Open up!" Ludwig cursed to himself and looked to Matthew motioning for him to go first.

"Ve _know_ you'll fid. If I don'd you can pull me." Matthew nodded and climbed on top of Ludwig's back, being careful not to dig his shoes into his ribs and crawled out on his stomach. The odd shards of glass ripped open some parts of his sweatshirt, but he made it out in one piece.

"C'mon Ludwig." Matthew beckoned as the German grabbed onto the frame of the window and pulled himself up. Managing to get his elbows out, they ran into a problem, his chest was indeed too broad to fit.

The banging on the door came again, "The owner has his key! We're coming in!" Damn! Why hadn't they barricaded the door or something?

Panicking, Matthew latched onto Ludwig's gloved hands and pulled with all the strength his tired body could muster. This being more than sufficient force, Ludwig popped out of the window and stumbled forward after getting his legs beneath him. Unfortunately, this left his face smashed into the bruised, soft tissue of Canada's stomach. Putting his hands out on either side of himself, he stood up straight, looking at Matthew (whom he had pressed up against the brick wall of the alley). Their noses touching, Matthew managed a merry laugh, pecking Ludwig's noise and making the German wheel back in red-faced embarrassment.

The sound of the door opening in the room below broke the moment and they were both back to running. At least Matthew knew these streets just as well as he knew the forest.

"This way!" He panted, excitement still coloring his tone. Some way or another, they ended up in the back lot of My Place or Yours, Matthew's car in an optimum position for escaping. Pressing the correct button on the key fob, he unlocked and threw the driver-side door open. "Get in!" Ludwig did as he was told and closed the door after him as Matthew started the car and began to drive off.

As it became clearer and clearer that they had escaped the cops, Matthew began to chuckle in the silence of the car.

"Man, I haven't had that much fun for a couple Sundays now." he laughed again but couldn't help but notice his companion this evening wasn't laughing with him. "What's the matter? Not liking fleeing the law?"

"It's nod dat…" the German mumbled, not bearing to look at him.

"Oh…" And suddenly the merry air of the night was gone, replaced by an oppressive feeling of guilt. "I'm sorry, I usually only do things like this with Gil. I didn't mean for that to happen, I just got caught up in the moment."

"Like us bod lasd nighd?"

"Yeah…" They pulled into the parking lot of a motel and Matthew turned off the car. "At least we had some fun tonight, right?" Ludwig nodded and sighed, leaning into the comfortable fabric of the passenger seat. "Want to go in and get some rooms for the night? Would feel better to sleep in a bed, you know."

"I'll be in in a secont." Nodding, Matthew left the car, leaving the keys with Ludwig, knowing he wouldn't have to tell him to lock it when he came in.

()()()

Matthew whistled merrily to himself as he walked about the room, the television going. He was getting ready for bed when he heard a knock from the door joining his to the adjacent room. Walking over to the door he unlocked it and pulled it open, finding Ludwig standing there in his undershirt and boxers.

"Hey, what is it?"

"Do you hef any toodpasde?" he asked in a tiredly raspy voice.

"Of course, c'mon in." Matthew moved from the way and Ludwig stepped in. "You look exhausted."

"I don'd normally do dings like dat…"

"I understand. I'm tired too." Matthew produced a toothbrush from his pocket and tossed it to him. The German caught it and flipped it around his index finger a few times before walking into the bathroom and putting the toothpaste inside to good use.

"Vhat do you dink _Osten_ is up to?" he asked after finishing his teeth and gargling a little water.

"I don't know, probably sleeping. I can't imagine him to be doing much right now. Kumajirou and Gilbird have taken to staying away from him it would seem." Matthew was laying prostrate on the only bed in the room, flipping through channels. He was decidedly less horny than he had been earlier in the day, it was probably the doing of that creep Frederick. Yawning, he let his eyes slip closed and his breathing even out, the last thing he was aware of being Ludwig's shape staring down at him.

()()()

Four A.M., Monday morning, March twenty-ninth, Matthew groaned and rolled over in bed, why was he awake? His eyes barely slid open and he witnessed the visage of his German buddy sitting in a chair staring at him.

"Urh… Ludwig…" He sat up and yawned, stretching.

"_Ja_?"

"Have you been staring at me all night?" The very idea of it was kind of creepy…

"No… I jus' came in here to vake you up."

"Oh, okay then, why?"

"You sait dat vhen I lefd you voult updade me efry day. Und I vantet to help you moof your schtuff." Germany explained, a cold wind pervading his words.

"At four in the morning?"

"Ve can'd affort to leaf my bruder alone for too long tomorrow morning. Who _knows _vhat he vill try to do to your kitchen." Canada shrugged, seeing the logic in this, but was very curious about his bad mood.

"Alright, let's get my stuff and you can go home." Germany gave a curt nod as Canada stood. It was a good thing Canada had paid for the whole thing up front because he didn't feel like paying a visit to the front desk.

()()()

It was daylight by the time Germany and Canada had everything he would need in the back of his car. Matthew left a note for the mailman about his indefinite absence and took some more of Gilbert's clothes with him for Prussia. Canada already packed more clothes for himself when he and Germany had been taking his computer downstairs. He also opted to bring his laptop with him for ease of use.

"I vant you to submid your daily repord at dree o'clock. Eight o'clock back home." Canada nodded and watched Germany open the door to his rented car. "I visch you luck… Do vhat you can to bring our family member back." Again, Canada nodded and Germany did the oddest of things, he hugged the boy. "Don'd ged yourself hurd. You're a goot ding in dis vorlt too." A firm squeeze of Canada's arm and they said good-bye, Germany climbed into the car and started the engine, Matthew watching as he drove away.

Germany was going home to his problems, it was his turn to go back to his.

()()()()()

Notes:

Tanzsonntag-A word I made up to mean Dancing Sunday (I am the master at coming up with inane, un-real, German words, Gilvogel anyone?)

Doch, ich bin bedient-Yes, I have been served (adequately)

Zu mir oder zu dir-Is real… It has a website

Frederick-Keep your eyes on him =.=

Okay, a chapter that seems a lot like a filler except for two parts, it has a point. Also, I am sorry for the highly sexual content of the chapter, it's my winding way of making a point, sorry. The next chapter won't be up for a few days, while writing I did indeed decide to take a trip to Kentucky tomorrow so expect nothing for at least two days.

Don't forget to check out O Discordia! on myspace they are awesome and you won't regret it!


	8. Bückstabü

I forgot what the date was and realized I couldn't go out of state because of a grad party, and the 21st I'm donating blood, the 24th I get my big 'ol wisdoms removed, the 23rd is my 1 month anniversary too. So fuck what I said in the last one, it ain't happenin'. It will happen once I am over the Perkaset, however, I somewhat wonder what my writing is like on drugs… Eugh, scary, but don't we still all wonder that? Okay, maybe it's just me and I like talking. I'll leave you be to read.

()()()()()

Bückstabü

"_Bald ist es Nacht,  
__wir sind allein,  
__du musst nicht, musst nicht traurig sein.  
__Stimmen flüstern hinter dem Gesicht,  
__die da sagen,  
__die da sagen:  
__Tu' das nicht!  
__Laß das sein!  
__Faß' das nicht an!  
__Sag' einfach nein!  
__Bückstabü  
__hol' ich mir.  
__Bückstabü  
__hol' ich mir.  
__Hab' keine Angst,  
__ich bin doch hier,  
__Ich bin ja, bin ganz nah bei dir.  
__Stimmen flüstern hinter dem Gesicht,  
__die da sagen:  
__Tu' das nicht!  
__Laß das sein!  
__Faß' das nicht an!  
__Sag' einfach nein!  
__Bückstabü  
__hol' ich mir.  
__Bückstabü  
__hol' ich mir.  
__Zwei Seelen 'ach in meinem Schoß,  
__es kann nur eine überleben!  
__Beim ersten Mal tut es nicht weh,  
__ein zweites Mal wird es nicht geben!_"_-_Rammstein

()()()

However, not all of the story of that night has been told yet. A crucial part of this tale has been skipped over. As Matthew and Ludwig fled the law and eventually came to rest at a motel (where creepy rapist-like staring ensued), Prussia was caught up to some interesting activities of his own.

"_Where am I?" Prussia asked himself as he sat cross-legged in a space of nothing. He wore his tri-corner hat and his old red and blue uniform. Ah, brought back memories of the good old days._

"_God, you're just a mother-fucking idiot ain't cha?" He spun around in the empty space to stare at the newest occupant. Other than the clothing, his new companion looked exactly like him. Instead of wearing the war uniform of long ago, he wore a blue uniform of his own, some part of his subconscious supplying the name of the uniform as _SS Luftwaffe_._

"_Who're you?"_

_The doppelganger made a "d'uh" face, letting his tongue hang out, "Germania." the sarcasm in his voice was so thick Prussia swore he could see the word float from his mouth. Suddenly the other straightened up and spat, "Who the fuck do you think I am?"_

"_Me?"_

"_Great job Sherlock!" he laughed mockingly and clapped his hands. "Maybe you aren't so dumb after all." The man in blue stared him up and down a little bit before making a "pfft" noise and waving him off. "Never mind."_

"_Okay, If you're me…"_

"_I'm the you _they_ want __**back**__." he laughed and leaned back, his hands behind his head, his ankles crossed. "Epic to be in _my_ awesome presence ain't it?"_

"_They have terrible taste in people if they would want a loathsome man like yourself back…" Prussia commented on his older counterpart._

"_Calling yourself loathsome, eh? Never thought I thought I was loathsome, but I guess I am since you're the one that said it." the older Prussia didn't seem the least bit fazed by this and kept floating about, his sly smirk painted on his face._

"_Did you bring me here?"_

"_I don't know." he sat up, crossing his legs again and letting his hands rest folded in his lap. "This could merely be a bad trip out, too much weed. Or you could have drank a bit too much and passed out. And of course, there is always that you fell asleep in front of the TV after beating your meat to pulp and all the hormones and feel-good chemicals released are causing you to have jacked-up dreams. Or maybe it's a combination of all those and you're having a trip so bad that you won't wake up for two weeks. That would make me just a figment of your imagination, so you tell me."_

"_Can't you answer anything straight, dumbass?"_

"_Well, if I _am_ just a figment of your imagination then I can't tell you anything you don't already know, so I guess not, what do you think?"_

"_I think you're my conscience…" Prussia said tentatively, not liking this man one bit. His cocky attitude was quite funny, though and _did_ remind him of himself._

"_Am I?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Great job. Yes, I am the one making you feel all those nasty emotions you don't seem too fond of." Older Prussia yawned and flipped himself upside down. "I am stuck in here only able to think when you are asleep and then, since you're unconscious and therefore, the rest of my brain, I cannot think about much. But I _can_ make you feel what I do."_

"_So, you're real?"_

"_What do you think?"_

"_Stop asking me that!" Prussia struck out at the blue-clad image of himself and missed, his older self flipping to sit right-side-up and moving to float higher above his head._

"_Beating up your conscience? Kese, nice try." he rolled around in the air a little bit, a bored look taking over his face, "But I've got about a century on you. Of pure awesomeness."_

"_Why did you bring me here?" Prussia clumsily followed him up._

"_Because I wanted to see if I could do it. Also, your poking me is irritating." A cigarette appeared between the older's fingers and he rolled it between them, sighing. Prussia watched as he tossed the cigarette away angrily and it poofed out of existence._

"_Are you what makes remembering things hurt so much?"_

"_What? No, you're an idiot. I'm the memory bank where they come from." he rolled his eyes and stared into the nothing, quickly tiring of conversing with himself. Especially when this self was a complete imbecile._

"_So, you're _making_ me remember things?" Anger was building up in Prussia's veins and a bored pulse emanated from the man floating just in front of him._

"_If I could, I would be the one in control again, not you. I wouldn't be calling my brother the fag he is and I wouldn't be beating on Mattie."_

"_Mattie?" Prussia hissed at the endearing nickname. His older self just glared at him and smacked him hard in the back of the head. Despite the fact they weren't even in a concrete space, it, surprisingly, hurt a great deal._

"_Yeah, Mattie. Matt, Matthew, _Canada_, if you want to be technical." No matter what form of the boy's name he said, he carefully annunciated it as if he would never get the chance to say it again with his own mouth. At the same time, the tone he used became progressively sadder. "I'm going to fucking tell you something now. You keep beating the shit out of him like you are-"_

"_I am _not_ beating the shit out of him! I'm playi-"_

"Hurting_ him! If you don't stop, the next time I drag your ass in here, I'm fucking you over, got it?" he shoved against Prussia and punched him in the jaw. Damn! This guy knew how to make a punch _really_ hurt! It also sent him flying back into the nothing for about ten theoretical feet._

_Grumbling and rubbing his jaw as he made his way back to his older self, Prussia asked,"What does he mean to you?" once reaching him, he chose not to retaliate, he knew he wouldn't win. The other him just floated around, choosing his words carefully. Holishit, he actually _thought_ before he spoke when he got older! Even if it didn't seem he did it often…_

"_To me, he is something you will never have." the ultimate finality of the way he spoke that somehow frightened him. But what did he have to be afraid of? That didn't answer his question at all and just made him want to know all the more._

"_You still haven't told me what he is to you, geezer."_

"_Hey, I may be more mature than you, but our body is just as old as me so watch your mouth."_

"_You never answered my-"_

"_And I'm not going to. It's my business, not yours. Want to make it your business? Find out on your own without threatening anyone. Though, I do agree, threatening is very fun."_

"_Why doesn't anyone want to tell me anything?" Prussia shouted, frustrated and nearly attempting to punch his older counterpart again._

"_Because _I_ am the mature version of you…" he stated as a-matter-of-factly, taking to floating around and distracting himself with thoughts of nothing as he continued to pulsate boredom. Prussia sort of saw his point, he was too proud to admit it. Too bad, he was in his own head and therefore, had to._

"_Are you going the least bit insane in here?" Might as well move on before he learned anything _else_ about himself he didn't want to._

"_Of course I am. I can't think my own thoughts during the day and there is nothing mentally stimulating about sleep because I forget much of what happens during the day."_

_Prussia snorted, "Sucks to be you."_

"_Yes, it does, but pity me and I'll rip your eyeballs out." Silence settled between the two as they realized they had little the wished to talk about. Prussia was not willing to ask too many questions for fear of what he would learn and the older Prussia had no interest in speaking with a more primitive version of himself._

"_Can you get me out of here?"_

"_I just knocked you out, you have to figure out how to wake up."_

"_And if I can't?"_

"_Then Mattie is a lot better off."_

"_A lot better off without the Awesome Me around?"_

"_Hey, it is me that is awesome, not you. You once were when you actually _were_ me but now you __**suck**__."_

"_And you suck cock." There was a slight pause before the other Prussia threw his head back and laughed, gripping his stomach. "What? What's so funny?"_

"_You're an idiot!" and the laughing continued. His laughing suddenly stopped and he froze. "Mattie is trying to wake you up." the old man sounded lonely for a moment. Whether he was longing to say hello to his good friend or it was because he wouldn't have anyone to talk to and would be resigned to his inabilities to think for the next sixteen hours, Prussia wasn't sure._

"_I'll wake up then, have fun alone!"_

_As Gilbert slowly felt his consciousness fade away, he thought of Matthew. He wanted to touch him, wanted to tell him just how much he meant to him. Why did this bullshit had to happen _now_ of all times? The bullshit was good in some ways, he knew why it was happening. But it just couldn't have come at a worse time._

"Prussia, please get up." Matthew shoved the man from the couch and onto the can-coated floor. At first, he didn't move and Matthew was worried the man had somehow or another drank himself to death. After a few moment though, he stirred, making annoyed grumbling noises before groping and pulling a blanket off the couch and around him. Matthew couldn't help but smile at him, he reminded him of Gilbert again. "You left a huge mess, get up and help me clean."

"_Nein_." Prussia moaned tiredly, wrapped comfortably up in the blanket. Matthew sighed and went behind him, grabbing the blanket and yanking it off, pulling Prussia momentarily off the ground before he and his thick head hit it again with a loud thud. "Ow! Fucker!" Prussia moaned and gripped his head, burying his face in the carpet.

"Hangover?" Matthew guessed, not the least bit amused by Prussia's theatrics. It was like pulling teeth for Christ's sake. Prussia didn't respond and nodded his head further into the rug. "Too bad, I know you don't get them."

"Who de fuck tolt you dat?"

"You did about… Fifteen years ago?" Matthew folded up the blanket and put it back on the couch as Prussia just moaned. "Look, whether or not you get hangovers is a chemical process in your body, not controlled by how much of your life you remember. Get up."

"Fuck off."

"You asked for it." Matthew went around to Prussia's front and grabbed his wrists, dragging him across the rug to the cold, hardwood floor. If he wasn't going to help, the least he could do was move. As he was dragging, Prussia suddenly put his feet under him and stood up. Using Matthew's still firmly grasping hands, he pulled the boy to him and squirmed a wrist from his grip, putting it around him and crushing him against his chest.

"You know, a mosd curious ding happent lasd nighd…" Prussia fixed Matthew in his arms so he was forced down to nearly a knee. From this new perspective, he glared down at him and put a hand to the blonde's neck.

"What?" the bluish-purple eyes almost looked pleading.

"I realizt dat being hier alone, no madder how much booze und veed dere ist, ist _boring_." Squeezing Matthew's back as hard as he could until he heard a cracking noise, he dragged him up his stomach until Matthew's head was at his collar bone and his _ahoge _waving before Prussia's nose. Matthew couldn't look up now without his nose touching Prussia's chin. "Zoh, I ahm asking you nizely… De nexd time you goh into town, ahm I free to join you und _Westen_?" Matthew squirmed, trying to back up from him, but in the end, Prussia tightened his grip, cracking Matthew's back again and nearly choking him at the neck.

"W-Well, you are free to join _me_. Ludwig has gone back to Germany." It was always weird when he said something like that. A man has gone back to himself and all…

"Vhy hes he done dat?"

"He has work to attend to. As do I." Prussia slacked his grip and Matthew wrestled himself free to stand inches from Prussia's face. "If you're going to come into town with me next time, you will have to learn proper behavior." _And not be out of my sight for a second._ It was hard to say no to the face of Gilbert, but he didn't trust Prussia, period. "Things have changed since the last time _you_ socialized with anyone."

"Okay… Zoh, does dat mean dat I can come?"

"If you learn how to act and you stop doing things like what you just did. Your laziness, I don't mind it, you've always been lazy. But if you're not going to help me, be kind and remove yourself from the place being cleaned."

"_I_ am nod lazy." Prussia snorted, indignant as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Oh? I see a ton of beer cans everywhere, weed ground into my good rug, at least **five** empty chip bags and come on my couch! You're worse than lazy, you're disgusting!" Prussia wasn't totally sure what to say at that. There were just some things you couldn't respond to while maintaining your dignity. So, if you couldn't respond, get mad.

"_I'm _disgusding? Look ahd you! You nearly fuck my bruder und ahll you zay to id ist dat it vas a… Vhat dit you cahll it? A 'W-T-F' momend? Ahs if id doezn'd efen madder!" Matthew's eyebrow twitched and the hot pinpoint in the back of Prussia's mind cringed. The old man was afraid? Of this little pipsqueak. "Vell? Vhat do you hef to zay to dat?"

Matthew's voice was quiet, but far from timid as he began to speak, "Prussia, I don't know if you have the capabilities of understanding a misunderstanding," his voice was slowly building in volume, "because your **brain**is just that _**messed up**_! But I **feel** plenty of remorse for what _I_ initiated! And if my nearly cheating is **not** what you were referring to, but the fact that both Ludwig and I are **men**! Well, guess what! **I**!** Am**!** Gay**! I have _**been**_ gay for over **a hundred years**!" Prussia was so busy backing up as Matthew advanced on him, he didn't even notice the arm of the couch behind him until his rear hit it and he fell over onto his back. "And if you want to know something else," Matthew's voice was back to being its normal volume. He put his hands on Prussia's knees and leaned over the couch and into his face. "I got over the guilt a _long_ time ago." Climbing the rest of the way onto the couch, he put his hands on either side of Prussia's head, just above each shoulder, his knees on either side of Prussia's hips, his feet still resting on the top of the arm. "If you think it's something to be ashamed of then there is something wrong with _you_." Matthew sat down on Prussia's crotch, careful not to apply pressure to anything necessary to his anatomy. "Before you even begin to ask, no, I'm not coming on to you, not everything I do is about sex… I'm unsure if I can say the same for you though… Care to prove me wrong?'

There was a long-sustained silence as Prussia just glared up at him. However, just as Canada was about to sigh and give up, Prussia spoke, "How're you… 'Okay' vid id?" he asked, feeling decidedly less uncomfortable than he thought he should. Maybe it was the impulses of calm being sent from his conscience. It still made him want to squirm or punch Matthew, he had to remember though, Canada was still a nation and he was dead.

"A very… Unexpected question from you… I'm okay with it because it's not a big deal. Who you sleep with doesn't change who you are as a person. I wouldn't be different if I chose to sleep with women as opposed to men. Maybe just a little bit because of the people I've met, but it's not as weird as you'd think." he gave Prussia a pat on the shoulder, not about to tell him that a large percentage of the nation population was homosexual. But maybe they didn't count considering the low amount of females willing to be in a relationship and the fact that relations with humans always resulted in death of the human. Matthew was different than most of that population though, he was like Sweden, gay because he was. "I'm going to get off you now so we can clear up some of this awkwardness." Matthew climbed off the Prussian and stood by him, staring down at him. "Care to at least get out of the room while I clean?"

Prussia stood, glaring at him all the while before he fled the room, heading upstairs to probably shower off. As he watched him go, Matthew sighed, wishing he _had _come on to him. But that wouldn't have been right, even though he had felt something nudging at his butt.

()()() "_Shut up_! _You annoying, old man_!" Prussia yelled as his conscience just laughed at him. He could see his older self's face as he laughed, his red eyes sparkling with mockery. If he thought this incident so funny his body had probably never performed such a blatant act of mutiny against him! His eyes traveled south and glared hatefully at his mostly erect penis. "_You're worse than him, you little shit._" Okay, five-meter shit, but whatever! The laughter in the back of his head grew worse and Prussia jabbed roughly into his conscience with a mental finger. His other self responded with anger and would be spitting had he a mouth in his subdued state.

Carrying his attention back to his mutinous organ, he slid down to the floor and stared at the bulge. Canada must've done _something_ or else this wouldn't have happened. Sniggering built up in his mind again and this time he shoved it aside, trying to block it out with his own contemplations. Which, after last night, apparently his contemplations were also his older self's so no matter _what_ he did he couldn't get him to leave him be. At least he couldn't think on his own during the day, that made his head a lot easier to deal with.

Making a noise of disgust, he stood, unbuttoning his shirt as he walked into the adjoining bathroom. Throwing off the garment and freeing himself from his oppressive khakis, a strange crawling developed in his skin. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and the muscles in his legs tighten as if he were going to flee some terrible sight. What was _this_ new feeling? Self-loathing? Well, he _had_ called himself a "loathsome" person while in his head, but he wasn't referring to himself self… Groaning, he threw on the shower and turned it to ice-cold before climbing in and wincing at the stolen heat.

Scrubbing beneath the spray, trying to remove the feeling was impossible, his skin felt like it had a layer of filth on it that no amount of cold water could freeze and crack off. Growling and baring his teeth, his hand went to the faucet handle and turned the water to its hottest setting. A wolf-like snarling broke from between his teeth as he scratched and scrubbed at his nauseating flesh, the hot water doing nothing to relieve himself of his feeling of defilement. The growl slowly built into a roar until he snapped, furiously punching and beating his head into the tile of the shower. Blood dripped down into his eyes and the hot water stung his split knuckles. He looked straight up into the onslaught of liquid fire, reveling in the pain it caused his eyes and face and how it exacerbated the scream of pain from his head wound. Slumping forward with a grunt, the hot shower only barely contacting his back, he took a deep breath and sighed raggedly. His rage at his lustful flesh had yet to subside and he still felt as if it needed more punishment. The skin of his back needed to be split and it needed to bleed, how dare his body do something so shameful! He wanted to fight, wanted to feel his blood pulsing, feel the beat of a fist or a foot into his ribs, feel _alive_… Someone needed to die… The muscles around his mouth twitching, it dawned on him what he could do… Yes, it would work… He would be a nation again. His new thought pulled at the skin around his mouth until he had a Cheshire smile.

He stepped out of the shower, blood still dripping down his face in ruby rivulets, curving around the proof of his insanity. Reaching for the door knob, he stumbled, catching himself against the wall and leaving a bloody smear from his hand and abused body. Tearing the door open (with little respect for the poor, splintered door jamb) he stumbled again, resting a bloody hand on his bedspread, his steps were getting better at least. His brain would be free of the curse of the steam in a moment, leaving only his blood-lust.

The grin stretched his mouth open, releasing a horrible wheezing laugh "Kesesesesese." Out into the hallway and down the stairs, the blood from his profusely bleeding head cut had made it to his feet, leaving his wet footprints tinged pink. Stepping to the center of the doorframe, he spied his prey, he was picking up beer cans as he hummed to himself. He almost looked happy as he worked to clean up his house. Prussia took a few steps into the room, a few more, a step onto the carpet, a bloody footprint now adorning its floral beauty. The old wood floor creaked.

Canada sighed and looked over his shoulder at him, ready to say something but his voice failing him at the sight of Prussia as he yelled and launched himself at him. There was no fight, there was only screaming, pain and blood. A rabid and angry cry filled the back of his mind, his world was taken away from him once again, a black void ensnaring all he knew before throwing him into a horror.

()()()

Matthew could do nothing but watch, the world slowing down to half-speed. Prussia's fingers outstretched for his neck, a sudden, grotesque look distorting his nearly gleeful grin before the screaming started. Before he slammed himself down into the glass coffee table. Blood erupting against the floor, against Matthew, everywhere like a thousand tiny wildflowers in spring. Prussia screamed in language Matthew didn't know existed as he thrashed violently on the floor, cutting everything everywhere. So much blood… It was worse than any battlefield he had ever been on, more horrifying than any massacre he had bared witness to. And as everything began to speed up again… Prussia, a dead look in his eye, his flesh, slashed and torn by a thousand knives, reached up to him and croaked, "Mattie… _Hilf mir_…" he went limp.

Now it was Matthew's turn to scream, tears violently took over his face, he reached down and pulled his loved one free of the glass, blood going everywhere. He lost track of time after that, all he could remember was his lungs burning and gasping for air, his legs screaming at him that he couldn't keep running in such rugged landscape and the wheezing breaths of the tortured one on his back. There was one thought among none but action, _The first day that Germany leaves…_

()()()

Arriving at the hospital he remembered nothing, not the looks he was given or what was said, just that the bloody body was relieved from him and taken to somewhere else. He remembered screaming to go with him, he loved him, they didn't have the right to take him somewhere he was not. Tried as the staff did to calm him, nothing worked, "I'm Canada! Don't you imbeciles understand!"

For what seemed like hours he cried into the white lab coat of a man he didn't know. They carefully stroked his hair at his request and when they tried to leave he threatened to kill them. They tried to explain that someone wanted to see him but he wasn't having it.

"He says his last name is Beilschmidt…" Matthew's first reaction was to scream, but he shoved the now blood-smudged individual away, stumbling about to find the one bearing his love's last name. His eyes fell on Germany then.

The German's face was hard set in a cold stare, worry warring with anger in his eyes. Upon seeing the state his friend was in though, there was only pity. Anger could wait.

Matthew threw himself at Ludwig then, the larger putting his arms around him and playing with bits of blood-caked hair.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know what was happening, he just, he just-" Matthew sobbed, unable to finish.

"Shhh. Shhhh, it's all going to be alrighd." Ludwig removed his glove and put a hand to Matthew's face, cleaning off the mixture of blood and tears with his thumb. He would ask what happened later, after their family was stable and the wounds sutured. "He von'd die. Nod from dis, he is my bruder, is your lofer. He's _Preußen_." Matthew just tearlessly sobbed into Ludwig's chest, clutching onto him like a lifesaver in choppy seas. Ludwig held him shamelessly, he had the right to cry and after fifteen minutes, the youth fell asleep in his arms.

Sighing, he lifted the blonde into his arms bridal style. His face was red and puffy from the hours of crying until there were no more tears to cry. Blood spattered his delicate features and the hours of crying had left his face creased. He didn't deserve all this aggravation and were he a crueler man, he would have his brother taken away from him. Most likely, this was just some freak accident though. Canada could _never_ willingly do that to his brother. Not that he had seen what had happened to him, but from what he was told over the phone, a human would have died within twenty minutes.

He sat down with Matthew in his lap and waited, the boy resting his head on his shoulder in sleep.

After an hour more, a man came to stand in front of him, from a bit of missed blood smeared on his jawline, Ludwig guessed this to be the man Canada had latched onto for two hours. The bronzy-red haired man looked them over for a moment curiously before speaking, "The patient, Gilbert Beilschmidt, I take it you are his brother and this must be his lover." Ludwig nodded simply and resituated himself, his leg had fallen asleep long ago. "I'm just letting you know, about twenty odd people heard what he said earlier when he arrived, there will need to be damage control."

"Damage condrol?"

"He was screaming he was Canada earlier upon his arrival." Ludwig blinked and looked to Canada, he must've been positively delirious. The doctor looked him over again, "Judging by your name, you must be Germany and… By what I've heard, the patient is Prussia." Ludwig nodded again and motioned for him to move on to something important. "Mr. Beilschmidt is just fine, of course, you were expecting that as it was. Depending upon how fast a healer he is, most of the stitches will be ready to come out in a few days."

"He has alvays been a fasd healer."

"Good… Now the police want a statement from Mr. Matthews here. They suspect foul play with injuries like what he has. They will be waiting for him outside the patient's room, 367." The doctor nodded and flicked his head in the direction of the room. "Now, I have to get back to work, I have other patients I have to see. I wish you both luck in sorting out this mess." and he walked away without further word, referencing some charts he had stored underarm as he spoke to them.

Ludwig grunted tiredly and shook Matthew gently awake.

Moaning tiredly, Matthew's still grainy bluish-purple eyes opened as if they had had adhesive holding the lids together. "Ludwig…" His voice was rough and dying from so much prolonged sobbing, looking at where he sat, he weakly stood and looked down at him. "How is he?"

"He jus' god oud of de emergency room" Ludwig stood, letting the blood slowly drift back to his uncooperative leg. "De doctor jus' lefd und de police vant you to talk to you aboud vhat happent… Vhat _dit_ happen?"

Matthew took a deep breath and wrung his hands, Ludwig putting a hand to his back to guide him towards the direction the room was in. The blood was still coming back to his leg, so he limped a little bit. Matthew willingly went with him and tried to remember what he could.

"I was cleaning and… I heard him come in, he had been upstairs taking a shower, so when he came back, since we ended on a kind of sour note earlier, I thought he'd come back to make more trouble. But I turned to look at him and his head was bleeding, his hands too and he was grinning at me and had his hands out like was going to choke me. But he paused for a moment and just stared at me, this surprised and _pained_ look on his face. And then he just started screaming and pulling his hair out and he just threw himself onto my glass coffee table and shattered it. He just sort of… Writhed there on the floor for a little bit, still screaming and cutting himself on all the glass. It was worse than any fit I had ever seen him have, ever…" Not even knowing it, tears started flowing again, "And suddenly, he just stopped and reached toward me… He… H-He called me Mattie and he asked me to help him…" Matthew shook his head, a sob racking him and he clung to Germany's arm. "He just passed out, I don't remember much after that, I just know I picked him up and brought him here somehow."

After hearing the story, Ludwig thought for a moment, Prussia had had one of his moments it seemed. He had grown out of them in his old age and "maturity" but his self mutilation was _never_ something he had done before. Once decided to attack someone, he didn't stop for anything, especially not just to stare… What had happened?

"Do you dink he vas hid by a memory?"

"Yes… I know to count my blessings that it happened… I don't even want to think of what he was going to do to me…" Matthew shuddered and they came to a halt in front of a door that had Prussia's human name written on a dry-erase board next to it. "There was so much blood… I don't think I want to see what happened…"

"You hef to do it sometime." Ludwig looked around for the police officer and found him drinking at a water fountain. He looked up and hurried over, surprising the stressed-out Matthew and making him cling to Ludwig once again.

"Sorry, eh. Didn't mean to scare you." Matthew nodded and told Ludwig he could go in if he wanted to while he stayed out and was questioned. Ludwig didn't think it right to see Prussia before Matthew did so he merely wandered off towards a vending machine, his stomach grumbling at him. He hadn't even eaten anything since going home. Instead of heading to his house in Berlin as soon as he arrived home, he went to Gilbert's house in the country. It was the _only_ logical place for the diaries to be.

_Since when has East _ever_ been logical about things like this though?_ Ludwig had to admit, looking at the options he had in the vending machine. Unfortunately, right as he picked what he wanted, he realized he didn't have any Canadian dollars… The contents of his wallet was strictly Euro… "Damn it…" It probably should have occurred to him yesterday at the bar, but now that he thought about it, he hadn't really _paid_ had he? Grunting with mild frustration, he just walked over to a nearby drinking fountain and took a drink.

Just mumbling to himself, he arrived back at the pair just as Matthew had finished his statement an the officer departed. The tired man looked to Germany then and sighed, holding out a hand which he readily took. He would need the support to see the damage inflicted upon Gilbert's body. Taking a deep breath, Matthew opened the door and walked in.

Prussia was awake, strangely enough, walking around too and had ripped the IV from his arm. Matthew glared straight at him and Prussia turned around to greet his visitors. At first, he spat at Canada, leaving a sizable puddle on the floor at the boy's feet then he looked to Germany.

"You zee vhat he hes done to me?" he yelled, motioning to his bare upper body for emphasis. All the blood from earlier had made it all seem worse than it was. The only issue had been how deep most of the cuts had been on his body, not how many he had. All his moving about had already ripped out some of his stitches and he bled out onto the floor.

"It's your own fauld. Matthew, please ged a nurse, he neets to ged his schtitches fixt." Nodding and not looking to Prussia again, Matthew left, leaving the brothers alone.

"_How can you say it's my fault_? _That faggot he… He…_"

"Vhat bruder? Vhat dit de _griefing _man do?"

"_He fucking dry-humped me_! _He had me down on the couch and sexually harassed me_!"

Germany scoffed at such a wild accusation, "Righd bruder, I'm _sure_ somevon as _morally lose_ as Canada voult _efer_ do dat."

"_It's the truth_!_ Ask him when he comes in here_!"

Once again, Germany dismissed him with a scoff and a roll of his eyes, "How aboud I don'd. He's torn up aboud dis whole ding as it is."

"_Why don't you believe me_?" Prussia screamed desperately, advancing on his younger brother and ripping more of his stitches out. "_You're supposed to be my brother_! _Why do you take his side_?"

Germany growled and forced him back to the bed, shoving him down onto it, "Because **my** bruder voult _nefer_ say dat aboud Canada."

"_L-Lutzchen… W-Why are you saying these things…_?" Prussia reached out and tried to grab a hold of Ludwig's sleeve, the German jerked his hand away immediately and stood back from him with military straight posture. "_D… Do you not love me_?" The question was so pitifully posed by a bleeding and scarred man, it jerked at the blonde's heart.

Sighing, Ludwig took his brother's outstretched hand. "It's nod a qvesdion of vheder or nod I lof you bruder. I lof you, I do, it's dat I _know_ Canada. I know he voultn'd do dose dings. Und I know you… I know you now und I god to see you go from dis man _to_ de von I lof today."

"_I'm not the me you love though…_"

"Of course you are. Dere is only von of you. You jus' don'd remember de dings you neet to to _be_ de man Canada und I are searching for."

"_What if we are two different people_?_ What then_?"

"You're nod." Ludwig comfortingly patted Prussia's hand and helped him lay back as Matthew arrived again with a nurse and a suture set. Seeing the look Matthew gave him, Ludwig had to pick a way to make himself scarce. It was about noon and something told him Matthew hadn't eaten all day. He could stop somewhere to exchange his money if time allowed. Which, Prussia was going to be stuck here for a while, so time wasn't exactly at a premium. "You hungry Matthew?"

The small Canadian nodded, "Do you have money?"

"I figuret I coult schtop at a place to exchange my Euros."

"Nah, here you go." Matthew held out a small fold of cash which Ludwig gratefully accepted. "Just get me anything from anywhere, my stomach's not picky." Ludwig nodded and tossed his brother one last look of "you will behave" before he left.

Now Matthew took his place beside Prussia and looked him over for a second before at the nurse, "Miss?" She looked over as she prepared the local anesthetic, she didn't ask, but she had a look of "_quoi_" on her face. "I would like to have a word alone with him for a moment." Realizing she really couldn't deny a pair of lover's a personal thing she nodded and simply left the room, asking to be informed when they were done. Once the door clicked shut, Matthew looked back to Prussia. "Okay, so we can clear this up, you're at a hospital. The _only_ thing anyone here wants to do is heal you. So, don't get angry at them, okay? Everything is a lot more sophisticated than what you remember. She is going to stick you a few times with a needle filled with something to take the pain away from the area and then what she will do from there is very straightforward."

"You're nod efen going to ahsk vhat I vas dinking ahre you?"

"I know by now it's best for me not to." For some reason, the cold inflectionless way it was spoken sent painful pangs throughout Prussia's heart. It really did hurt to hear Matthew to talk him that way and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why it affected him so much. It wasn't even coming from the barely-present pinprick in the back of his subconscious, it was genuinely made by just his own feelings.

"Vhy dit you take me hier… If you don'd efen vant to know vhat I vas dinking?"

"I brought you here out of respect and love for the man you should be."

"Bruder zays dat ve ahre de zame perzon…"

"You are, you are just a very unwise version of him. Also, just leaving you there…" Matthew shook his head and patted Prussia's hand very much the same way Ludwig had, "It's cruel no matter who the person is. Even if I hardly knew you, period, I wouldn't have left you."

"Vhere does your generosidy come from?"

Matthew laughed a little bit and fixed his glasses, "From years of experience and a very annoying older brother." he chuckled again and looked back to Prussia, "You could probably ask Ludwig the same thing and you would get the same answer, come to think of it."

Prussia snorted, "Now _vhy_ voult you zay dat?" that smirk… Oh, that smirk that made Matthew smile, Gilbert was the only one that could _ever_ pull that off in a thousand years. There was the overwhelming urge to kiss him, to hug him, to start crying all over again that he was alive… But he resisted and just smiled at him.

"I don't know." Matthew shrugged in a whimsical way. But his mind floated back to more serious subjects… "Why did you call me 'Mattie' before you passed out?"

"I don'd remember dat…"

"You don't?"

"Noh… I vas… Schtuck in a memory."

"But… You asked me to help you."

"I don'd remember _anyding_ pasd me trying to schtrangle you… Vhich obfiously ditn'd vork. I don'd remember vhat efen caust all dese cuds."

"Oh… Well, what did you remember then?"

"A vorlt var…"

"Which one?"

"De firsd I dink…"

"Do you remember how it started?"

"Zomeding to do vid me pissing ovf Schpecks…"

"Yep, that's the first. How much of it do you remember?"

"Ahll…"

"Oh God…" That certainly did explain all the screaming and thrashing about. "Four years of memories compressed to minutes…" Prussia nodded.

"I dink you vere dere…"

"Of course I was… It was one of the few times I was recognized for who I was and not because of Mo-I mean, England."

"Vere you going to call Englant _Mom_?"

"Uhm…" Matthew embarrassedly scratched his cheek, "It's a joke between Alfred and I, of course you were brought into it after awhile since you hung out with me so much. Since Francis is my dad, Arthur is Mom."

"How _ist_ de fag now-a-days?" The slur wasn't said in an offensive way, it was used in more the way Gilbert would have used it, endearingly of course.

"Same as he always has been, explosive temper, always fighting with Dad." Prussia sniggered.

"Noding new dere ahd ahll." Matthew chuckled along with him. "Zoh, you zait, von of de few times?"

"Nobody seemed to even know I existed before then. Mostly because I was still the property of Mom. But, I was a signer of the Treaty of Versailles, I got plenty of independence from participating… But afterwards a lot of people forgot I existed again…"

"I don'd zee how…" Prussia was almost mad that Matthew so easily admitted to having been a signer of the treaty he knew had lead to ripping him and Germany apart into smaller empires. But he couldn't be too mad, he and his brother must've been quite the formidable foe.

"You never have been able to." Matthew kept smiling at him and remembered that the nurse was still out in the hallway and Prussia was still bleeding out. "Let's get those pulled stitches fixed." Matthew opened the door and called the nurse back in. She gave them an annoyed look for taking so long before getting to work on Prussia's injuries.

()()()

"You know… Id's nod fair for you two to sid dere und ead vhile I hef to ead vhatefer schlop dey gif me…" Prussia complained from his hospital bed as Ludwig and Matthew shared Chinese food.

"For the mental anguish." Matthew said, slurping some noodles. "I find it justice enough."

"_Vhat_?" Prussia looked as if he were about to rip out his IV again and tear all his stitches.

"Hey, I wasn't the one that went berserk and destroyed a solid glass coffee table with my head." Matthew punctuated his statement by clicking his chopsticks together.

"I vasn'd de von dat _boughd _de coffee table."

"Actually, it was your idea. You thought the room needed something shiny in it so…"

Prussia just snorted and sat back in his bed, his arms folded over his chest, him grumbling. He was always so damn cute whenever he pouted. Of course, Matthew never had the heart to tell him that because Prussia telling him all the things he thought was cute about him would injure his _own_ pride too much.

"I doughd you zait _Westen_ vent home." The albino chose to change the subject.

Matthew hummed and looked up to him, "Did they call you on your cell or something?"

"_Ja_."

"How did Italy take your sudden leaving again?"

"I vasn'd vid him at de time."

"Oh, well, I'm sure he's freaking out now."

"I'll leaf vonce I _sure_ efryding is going okay again." Germany looked between the two of them like he expected a sudden screwdriver to appear and stab Canada in the back of its own accord to cause more unneeded drama.

"Yeah… Sounds like a good idea." Matthew simply responded, going back to eating his noodles. "Prussia, you want to try some?" He looked over to the invalid and he nodded. Getting up and walking over to him, Matthew took some of the noodles onto his chopsticks and dangled them above Prussia's open mouth.

Upon seeing Matthew was _not_ going to lower them into his waiting, greedy gullet, he hissed angrily, "Dat's nod fair."

"Mental anguish." the Canadian responded in a sing-songish voice.

"Infalit!"

"Your own fault!"

"Damn, you schtupit Canatian!" Prussia made a frustrated noise and Matthew was overcome by another fuzzy, warm feeling in his heart. How could someone so hateful be so loveable at the same time? Sighing lovingly, he lowered the noodles into Prussia's mouth and the man slurped them off. Chewing and swallowing. "Dat's nod bat…"

"Be good and I can get you more."

"Zick baschtart…"

_Loveable, fascist dictator of my heart._ Matthew chuckled and sat down again in front of Ludwig, picking up more noodles and eating them. "You staying at my house tonight, or what?"

"No, I dink I vill go home since you two somehow or anoder haf mate up…" Ludwig took another bite of the chicken he ordered and looked between them. Matthew just shrugged, how had such a terrifying occurrence been so good for the both of them? The world was funny like that, life was too, when you think about giving up, something else happens. But still, life sucked.

"Hey, cahn I hef zome more?"

"No."

"Fuck." Okay, maybe it didn't suck so bad.

()()()()()

Notes:

Translation for above lyrics:

Soon it will be night

We are alone

You must not, must not be sad

Voices whisper behind the face

They say

They say:

Don't do that

Let it be

Don't grasp onto it

Simply say no!

Bückstabü

I call myself

Bückstabü

I call myself

Have no fear

I am not yet here

I am yeah, am nearly entirely with you

Voices whisper behind the face

They say:

Don't do that

Let it be

Don't grasp onto it

Simply say no!

Bückstabü

I call myself

Bückstabü

I call myself

Two souls alas in my lap

There can only be one survivor

It doesn't hurt the first time

There will not be a second time

Bückstabü-A word that is not real created by the band that wrote the song. It was created to mean "Whatever you want" if my research is accurate.

Hilf mir-Help me

Okay, two German songs (this is only an excerpt of one though) so close together, if anyone really cares about the music, I'm sorry to torture you, I will cut back. This one just kinda called to me (pun not intended but it's me) Also, yeah, I went to my happy place, a hippie village about thirty or so minutes north of my home instead of on vacation because of how everything likes to attack me at the end of the month. Something else, I only got sunburned on my left arm today… WTF? I get more of a tan by driving than I do walking around, that's kinda not right I feel. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, I don't know how quickly I can have the next chapter up, I hope this can hold you over in the event that I can't get anything posted before the 24th. I loves all you!

**Special Q & A this chapter, have a question you desperately want answered that doesn't pertain to the plot? Ask away, I will do my best.**


	9. Dead on Arrival

**_Q&A Session_**(the very saddest one ever)

**Q**) Like the song [at the beginning of chapter 8]?

**A**) Yes, I like it quite a lot. Rammstein is my favorite band and hence I had to use at least one of their songs. I felt it fit the chapter very well. Another song or two by them might pop up in later installments, but I shall stick with the rest of my playlist for now for the sake of everyone else's sanity XD

**Q**) What was the best vacation Matt and Gilbert got before all this?

**A**) I cannot pinpoint a single best vacation they had, Matthew might say it to be when they went to Seal Island in Nova Scotia, Gilbert ended up getting bit by a seal and was freaked out by a ghost story… Gilbert will deny that it ever happened.

**Q**) Did Prussia think that if he could kill Canada, he would become a nation again or something?

**A**) That is exactly what he thought. However, he has some rather flawed logic for he does not understand as acutely as Gilbert does what it is like to be dead. If he had managed to kill Canada while alive (or subdue him in some way like what Russia did with him and the Baltic nations) he would have been able to claim Canada's land (to ultra simplify it). However, since he is dead, he doesn't even have the capacity to kill Canada. A nation cannot be killed by any mortal means and cannot be killed by an extinct nation. This means that if a human (or Prussia) were to shoot Canada, fuck it would hurt, but he would not die. If America (yeah right, where would he get the balls for that) were to shoot him, however, he would be in the same amount of danger that you or I would be in.

**Three questions guys? Really? Do only three of you really read my notes? Okay, five, two of you just didn't have anything to ask. Sigh, I suppose I shouldn't be so irritated, I can just take it as it means I do a good job of explaining things. **Anyway, I'm done with my note, moving on.

()()()()()

Dead on Arrival

"_I hope this is the last time,  
__'Cause I'd never say no to you  
__This conversation's been dead on arrival  
__And there's no way to talk to you  
__This conversation's been dead on,  
__A rivalry goes so deep  
__Between me and this loss of sleep over you  
__This is side one,__Flip me over  
__I know I'm not your favorite record  
__The songs you grow to like never stick at first  
__So I'm writing you a chorus,  
__And here is your verse_"-Fall out Boy

()()()

It was raining the next day. Germany had already departed for home once again after a very distressed phone call from Italy. He left Canada very few parting words only that if something like that happened again, he would have to pull blood family member and take Prussia from his care. Canada really didn't put up much of a fight in the matter because he realized (somewhere in the back of his mind) that Germany was right.

Canada sighed and stared out the window at the rainy city, thinking about all the filth that the rain must have been washing away. The only reason he was still at the hospital was because he was hesitant about leaving Prussia unattended with so many humans around. He already had to reprimand Prussia twice about flirting with nurses, which (despite the times barrier) he was able to do quite well still. All the nurses he flirted with took the flirts quite well, casting glances at Canada as he just sat there and took it. He wanted to do so much more than merely tell him it was rude, but his position wasn't exactly what it should have been. Needless to say, the unruly man didn't really listen to either of the scolds and just kept on doing as he pleased. Which was the reason why Canada was staring out the window at the rain then.

Canada tried his best to block out all the come ons he was feeding to his attending and the attending was still attempting to be nice while refusing. He had half a mind to smack Prussia, but that wouldn't have been a wise choice and he would doubtlessly have some broken fingers thereafter.

"Sir, should you be asking me this while _he_ is in the room, eh?" The nurse questioned, motioning to Canada sitting by the window. Prussia snorted and looked over to him.

"Vhy schoult he change anyding? Vhat does he care?"

The nurse blinked, confusion coming over her face before a blush rabidly worked at her face and neck, "I am sorry sir. I thought… Well… Never mind, excuse the mistake." She quickly scribbled something down on a piece of paper she had handy. Prussia, meanwhile, looked to Canada, not understanding what all the fuss was about. Canada just smiled and waved him off, telling him it wasn't important. "Either of you let me know if you need anything, okay?" The two of them nodded and Canada stood up from his chair, pacing over to Prussia's bedside once she closed the door behind her.

"Prussia, what did I tell you?" Canada said with a sigh.

"Und vhat dit _I_ zay?"

"I know you don't care what I think and you never really have cared about the opinions of women, but they _can_ kick you out of the hospital for harassing the nurses. They are _equal_ to men in this day and age." Canada explained, a joint in his pocket calling to him.

"Vell, who de fuck vent und dit dat?"

"Don't make me smack you."

"You voultn'd dare."

"You're right, I wouldn't with your extensive injuries."

"I coult take you like dis any day!" Moaning, Canada flicked one of Prussia's swollen, stitched cuts, he yelped in surprise and struck out at Canada. The blonde just stepped back as the Prussian just made a frustrated noise at missing.

"Your pride is going to be your undoing some day, you know."

"I'm already deat. Vhat more cahn de vorlt do to me?" Prussia said haughtily, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What happened to your father when he died?" the flat-toned question was not met with any form of response. Prussia just looked away, as if deeming the question not worthy of his time. "Whenever you think the world can't do anything more to you, you realize that it can."

"Schud up."

"Alright… I'm going to head home, okay?" Prussia looked to him then, confused as to what he meant by that.

"You're leafing me hier? By myzelf?" It occurred to Matthew that Gilbert always had problems with being alone. He had always thought it was because of when he was with Russia, Prussia didn't remember enough of his time with Russia for this to hold true. It was quite possible that it had never sat well with him, being alone.

"Yeah, the house is a mess, blood everywhere and all. Kumajirou and your Gilbird will need feeding too."

"You're leafing me alone, to be bort, zoh you cahn fucking clean und feed your damnt animals?"

"Yes, actually. You caused the whole mess at the house and you never take care of your animal, so I need to."

"Cahn'd id vaid?"

"Why do you want me here so bad?" Matthew tweaked an eyebrow and looked the desperate Prussian up and down.

"I don'd… I neet _zomeding_ to do." Prussia responded in a smaller voice.

"The nurses seem to suffice quite nicely."

"Dat's diffrnd."

"How?"

"Dey're jus' humans."

"So, you're saying I am worth socializing with?"

"Noh, you're jus' de only von hier like me."

"Not good enough. See you later." Canada started for the door.

"Vaid!"

Rolling his eyes, he turned to regard Prussia again, showing his lack of amusement on his face. "You're coming back, righd?"

"I have to don't I?"

"Noh…"

"Yeah, I'm coming back." Mumbling, he walked into the hallway and examined his mood. He wasn't sure why he felt as irritated as he did, he should have been happy if anything. Some amount of progress had been made with the man and he was going to be fine. Why wasn't he in better spirits about it? Shaking his head back and forth he walked down the hallway, contemplating the wonderful motif of the floor. Grey with speckles and then green with speckles. Realizing he probably should have been looking where he was going, he lifted his head and smacked straight into an oncoming doctor that was fixated on his clipboard. Taking a few steps back he apologized profusely and picked up the dropped clipboard, handing it back to the red-headed doctor.

"Hey, Matt." the doctor smiled to him and Matthew had to examine the face for a few seconds before it hit him. The last time he had seen him it _had_ been dark, his hair was brighter in the light and he could actually make out the color of his eyes.

"Oh, Frederick." Matthew looked his doctor's coat up and down. "You work here?"

"No, I wear the lab coat for shits and giggles." Frederick chuckled, flipping a pen around his index finger, Matthew forced a slight laugh for politeness. "So, what're you doing around here?"

"My boyfriend injured himself." Frederick nodded, mumbling something to himself.

"It anything bad?"

"He was fixing a light bulb and fell off the stool he was using, hit his head pretty hard and broke our glass coffee table, seizured out and cut himself up pretty bad."

"Then I did hear about him. Yeah, everyone thought it was amazing he wasn't dead, low as his blood was."

Matthew smiled out of nervousness, "He's always been a fighter."

"Well, I admire his spirit then, eh. Not many people can come back from blood loss that severe and he did a fine job."

"I'm proud to say he's mine." They both chuckled a little bit then, Frederick sighing contentedly at the end.

"You know, I'm about to take my lunch break, you want to-"

"Sorry, I have to get home and clean. There's glass and blood everywhere, you understand, right?"

Frederick frowned and slipped his hands into his pocket, his clipboard under his arm, "Uhm, yeah, of course I do. I didn't mean anything by it you know…"

"I know you didn't, you just didn't pick the best of times to ask."

"I didn't mean to seem insensitive either…"

"I know." Matthew smiled one last time, "I'll see you later, I'm coming back to visit my lug in a few hours. Drop by his room then and maybe we can talk." _Or not…_

"Yeah, maybe we can." Frederick looked at his watch and back to Matthew, "I don't know actually, my shift ends within the hour and I have a few more things to do before then so, I'll see you tomorrow probably. He's bound to be here awhile with all his injuries right?" Obviously aiming for humor, the poor human missed it by a mile and Matthew couldn't help but feel slightly offended. His love was in a bed, covered in stitches and all he cared about was socializing.

"Yeah. See you later." And without further outro, Matthew left, leaving Frederick to stare at his receding back in bewilderment.

()()()

After hiking back to the house, Matthew entered it, noting the heavy iron smell the front room carried. It sickened him and made his stomach convulse. Blood had never sat well with him after the second world war. Had he been able to focus on the scene before actually leaving with Prussia the other day, he would have been quite unable to do much of anything.

Kumajirou scampered to Matthew and put his paws up on his pants, pawing at him for attention.

"Hey there… Where's Gilbird?" Kumajirou dropped back down to the floor and pulled at Matthew's pants with his teeth. "He's not hurt is he?"

"Follow me." the white bear said simply before turning around and heading off again. Matthew chased after him, averting his eyes as they passed the bloody and shattered glass-filled scene. At the far end of the book room, a large yellow ball sat at the window. Walking up to what Matthew decided was Gilbird sprouting actual feathers, it gave an almighty sigh.

"Hey Gilbird… What you doing?" Matthew noticed the bird was slightly larger than normal and of course the small feathers he was sprouting were quite out of character for a nation's pet. He had found Kumajirou long ago as an abandoned cub, while his mind certainly had developed (hell, he could talk) he still appeared immature. Matthew could guess that Prussia had found Gilbird sometime after World War One as a chick (or perhaps Gilbird had found him as it had been with Alfred's whale). Matthew sort of wondered what was up with Germany's dogs and their reaching maturation but he knew better than to think too hard on the subject. "You've been away from Prussia too long it would look like." he said with a sigh, picking up the puffball. "Although, I am quite curious about your species." Sitting the bird on his shoulder, he gave it a quick pet before walking to the kitchen and setting out some food for him. "I'll take you to the hospital with me when I go back."

Gilbird clambered down his arm and pecked at the food rather lethargically. It made sense he would feel tired and out of it if he were growing. It was something body hadn't had to deal with in a very long time. Kumajiriou pulled at Matthew's pants' leg again and Matthew rolled his eyes fondly.

"Alright fatty." He walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a fillet of fish, putting it on a plate and on the floor where Kumajirou could eat it.

Realizing he now had to get to cleaning, Matthew found a kerchief and put his hair up behind it, his _ahoge_ escaping its bonds and just being generally annoying. He blew at the hair in his face and mumbled, "What good are you anyway, eh?" Putting on a pair of rubber gloves and an apron (a dark blue one that said "his bitch" on the front of it in pink) he walked into the book room and assessed the damage.

Glass lay everywhere, blood covered nearly everything, spatters even landed on some of his books and it distressed him that he was probably not going to be able to clean them really well. On top of all this, beer cans and discarded chip bags laid amongst the carnage on top of the blood-sopped rug France had given him on his birthday a long time ago. He never liked the rug and had been looking for a chance to get rid of it so hey, something to be optimistic about.

Picking up the larger shards of glass, he put it all on top of the mostly brown-red rug as well as whatever garbage he could and pulled the four corners together. Lifting the huge "bag" of filth was easy for him, but the blood that was squeezed from the core of the rug and to the still wet floor made him sick. He managed to haul the bag out to the storage area and into a huge, lined garbage can., tying off the lining when finishing. Returning to the book room, he witness the horrid, near black stain on the old wood flooring. The carpet had successfully hidden a large portion of the blood from the air, leaving a large slick beneath it. The smell was rancid and reeked of a death that never was, his head started to hurt and his heart race. He took a deep breath, trying to clear his head but only ended up inhaling the smell that nauseated him so.

Fleeing the room, he ran to the kitchen and vomited into the sink. God it was awful, Gilbert had told him once that he enjoyed the smell. Matthew knew he never would be able to share the sentiment. Pulling a mask out and a mop, he prepared to clean up the mess. He filled up the bucket with a solution for cleaning wood floors and hot water before walking back to the room and nearly throwing up again.

Getting straight to the mopping that took him almost an hour to complete (wet blood is a very hard substance to get up with a mop) it became apparent almost immediately that the wood flooring had forever been stained. Even once it was time to dry off the floor, the light-colored wood had a grotesque black stain right in the middle of it. After this was all through, it would be a reminder of everything Prussia had put him through. Of course, it would be easy to put beneath the rug. The memories and resentment at him wouldn't be at all as easy. Another deep breath, this time of cleaning solution and he left the room, dumping out his fourth bucket of water into the foul-smelling sink.

Noticing that he hadn't eaten all day, Matthew thought it wise to eat something. However, after cleaning up something that nasty… He decided he wasn't very hungry and probably would be put off from food clear until tomorrow.

It was awful realizing there was nothing he had better to do than either cook, care for animals that needed none or go visit a man he had no desire to see in the hospital. He could go for a walk, but it was raining and he would think to much about the state of affairs between himself and Prussia. Fishing… Raining and it was thought-provoking as well. Perhaps he could read a book then? Now was hardly a time to read a book… Work! That was it!

With a relieved sigh, he snatched his laptop from the book shelf he had sat it on the day prior and headed upstairs with it. Looking to the clock he noticed it was nearly three in the afternoon, Germany would be expecting him to send a video report.

()()()

Setting up his computer, Matthew put on his headset and made sure the camera was facing him before calling. He drummed his fingers in a bored manner as the video conference rang. Grumbling when it asked him to leave a message, he cleared his voice and began recording.

"Let's see here, okay, March thirtieth, fifth day of Prussia's amnesia…" Matthew made a sort of annoyed face, "He's in the hospital still, of course. He enjoys flirting with women and, as you can imagine, that makes me sort of mad especially because he does it when I'm in the room and wonders why the nurses get mad at him and mention that I'm in there with him." his finger drumming had started up again, "You must be off messing with Italy or something, excuse my terminology I'm in not such a good mood today as I just cleaned up all the garbage and blood downstairs.

"Okay, this is supposed to be about him, not me." Matthew rubbed his face tiredly and fiddled with his fingers for a second, "He says he remembers all of World War One, it's some progress at least, his personality has evolved a little bit I think. If he remembers anything after World War Two I'm pretty sure I will be able to handle the resulting chaos. I've done it before after all, but I'm worried he will respond to it differently if he remembers certain pieces of it at the wrong time." Lifting his thumb up to his mouth, he bit on its nail before nervously continuing, "His personality will probably evolve a little bit once memories of World War Two come to him… If you are anything to go by Ludwig… He'll be nasty… Well, nastier." He shook his head, "I suppose I'll find out if that's true in time. That's all I got for today. I hope to talk to you soon. Vid con me or leave me a message whenever, my report's over." Making sure the message would be saved, he turned off the camera and went to his emails.

Oh… one from his boss…

()()()

Indeed, Canada had been quite right when he said Germany was probably messing with Italy… Actually, after returning home the day prior, Germany had, once again, gone back to Prussia's home instead of his own. He didn't wish to re-live the experience of living out there again however. Mostly because all the inhabitants of the tiny village all asked who the hell he was and what he had done with the albino. Germany would never have guessed in a thousand years that the townsfolk actually _liked_ his brother.

Unfortunately, even after telling them he was his brother from Berlin they _still_ didn't like him. What in the world had the stupid man been telling them about him? He knew it was time to hightail it out of there when the dogs attempted to go after him and no one listened when he asked for help. Folding his arms and kicking the door to his house open he figured the must've all been Prussian.

"Italy, I'm back!" he called into the house, closing the door behind him and petting the dogs as they assaulted him with their love. "_Platz, platz_!" At once the three dogs just yipped and hopped around their master's feet. "_Sitz_!" And they all planted their butts in front of him. "_Brave Hunde_." Germany smiled at them and scratched his three lovelies behind their ears "_Ah, doch, wo ist Italien_?" He looked around, not having seen hide nor _ahoge_ of the cheery man. Had he merely left? That would have been depressing. Germany smirked and snapped his fingers, "_Achtung_!" Blackie, Berlitz and Aster pricked their ears forward, awaiting command. "_Bringt mir Italien_!" Immediately, the three shot to their feet and bolted down the hallway barking as a sort of distressed squealing started.

"No fair!" Germany smiled at the voice. "Call them off! Please! Their tongues tickle!" Something told Germany that the dogs hadn't exactly violent and even though he couldn't see them he had a picture in his mind the scene.

"Blackie, Berlitz, Aster, _voraus_!" And Germany watched the three dogs leave his bedroom down the hall, Italy following out after them, wiping his face off on his sleeve.

"Germany!" A knee-jerk response, Germany put his hands out and caught the flying Italian, pulling him close for a hug. Italy chuckled and pecked his cheek, instantly all of Germany's good cheer left him and he dropped him resuming his walking. "Veh! What'd I do?"

Ignoring Italy, Germany walked to his bedroom and closed the door, locking it behind him.

"Veee… Is Germany still mad at Italy?" Italy whined, knocking at Germany's door. There was no answer and Italy swallowed. "I couldn't help it Germany… Please? Can I come in?" Again, there was not a response to be spoken of. Tentatively, he knocked again, "You know I… You know that I… I wish… I wish I still…" Sighing (it was more of a whimper) Italy turned away from the door and leaned his back against it, sliding down it to sit on the hallway floor. "I know you want me to leave Germany, but I would feel bad if I did." Italy messed with his shoelaces and tried to think of something else to say. "Italy is sorry… Feliciano is sorry…"

There was a bleeping noise down the hall from Germany's office.

"Lutz-"

"I'fe tolt you nod to call me dat." The door opened and Italy fell back, his shoulders landing on top of Germany's boots, him staring up at him (of course most of what he saw was just his crotch). Germany kicked him up lightly, "Ged up, you fool."

"Yessir!" Italy jumped to his feet and watched as Germany walked past him heading for his study. Steeling his nerves, Italy went after him and took a hold of the German's arm. "Ludwig…"

"Schud up!" Germany pushed him back and easily wrestled his arm free, Italy hadn't really been trying. "Und schtop touching me." He headed for his office again as the computer continued to bleep.

Starting to sniffle, Italy took in a deep breath, "Ludwig Beilschmidt!" Germany stopped and looked over his shoulder at Italy, was he… _Angry_? Then Italy started sniffling again. "You left for five days… You expect me not to care?"

Germany let the computer ring and made a show of thinking for a moment, "Yes, acdually." His brow furrowed and Italy looked away as the computer stopped bleeping.

"But… When I said that I didn't mean it like that…" Italy sniffled pitifully again, inching forward and towards Germany.

"You schtep _any_ closer to me und you'll see how mat I can really be." Italy stopped, knowing exactly what Germany meant by that and even backed up, shaking. He then started crying, dropping to his knees and holding his face.

"I-I didn't… Germany, I still…"

"You schtill **vhat**?" Italy didn't answer and embraced himself, rocking back and forth on his knees. "You can'd say it can you? It's because you don'd."

"But I…"

"_Nein_… You schoult hef doughd aboud dis before you sait anyding."

"But that would have been lying to you… Feliciano would never lie to Ludwig…" Italy sobbed into his hands again.

"Italy, I vant you to leaf."

"If I leave… You won't talk to me again, I'll miss you…"

"_I_ can'd miss you if you don'd leaf."

"But I don't _want _you to miss me! I want to still be here… With you…"

"Italy…" Germany sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had not come home today with the intention of fighting or even talking about this. Just his luck that Italy did something stupid and pissed him off when he was already not in a good mood. "I jus' neet a break, okay?" Germany said in a lighter tone, taking a few steps towards Italy and standing over him.

"Just a break?" Italy didn't even lift his head to look up at him.

"Only a break." Germany knelt down in front of the curled up Italian and caressed his hair lovingly. "Dat's all I neet. Den I'll be okay." Italy wiped his nose off on his sleeve and looked up to him. "I schtill lof you." Germany kissed him and helped him to his feet, Italy looked away, his hand just barely resting in Germany's.

"I'm sorry I got sick…"

"It's no von's fauld. I'm more mat at oder dings righd now dan you." The German's thumb idly caressed an apathetic knuckle.

"Really?"

"_Ja, _really." Italy nodded and took his hand away, putting it in his pocket. "I'll see you in a few days?"

Somehow, the Italian managed a wide, bright smile, "Of course! Just say when and I'll be back." he grinned cutely at Germany and his face melted into a smile.

"Maybe you can come back before I efen say. Like you alvay hef." Italy giggled and an awkward silence fell over them. "Vell uhm… I dink you schoult be ovf. Tell Romano I sait hello, alrighd?"

"I can give you his reply now if you'd like."

"Oh?"

Italy cleared his voice, making it deeper in an exact replica of his older brother's, "Why are you even telling me that? Tell the potato bastard to shove it up his ass!" They both laughed, Germany being the first to stop and Italy soon after. "Italy thinks Italy will go now. Bye Germany!" Italy hugged the German again and Germany gladly returned it. He then watched as Italy skipped down the hall and eventually turned the corner to leave. He heard the door open and close and then he was alone.

The house had never felt so empty… Even with the three dogs running about their own business it still felt lonely. He snorted to himself, since when did he have the right to feel lonely? No one had ever really wanted to be friends with him anyway. He had a brother (who wasn't really like his brother anymore) , he had Italy (whom he had just kicked out) and he sort of had Japan (but he still could never tell what he was thinking). Never had he really _had_ anyone in high quantities. He was Germany, independent, scary and alone. It was high time he got used to it again.

"Berlitz! Blackie! Aster! _Abendessen_!"

()()()

"_I told you I would fuck you up if you didn't stop." Older Prussia floated about in the empty space that was his mind. "But I never listened to what my elders told me anyway."_

_Prussia rubbed his theoretical bloody nose and glared daggers at the carefree replica of himself. The older seemed to notice and just scoffed, ignoring him._

"_It's your own fault. I don't even remember what it was that set you off." The more experienced man threw him a look._

"_He humiliated me." Prussia growled, looking away._

_His counterpart threw his head back and laughed throatily. As he did, Prussia felt the memory of the last time he laughed like that, a body was pressed near to him and he was feeling content. He almost wondered if his other self was thinking the same thing, it would make sense that they shared feelings. The memory was certainly nothing concrete and because a of this he wondered what the memory was. He was _contented_ next to someone else? It made his heart race at the very thought that he actually had someone… His older counterpart threw him a look just then, he must've known what he was thinking of and he even allowed himself a smile._

"_They are the best person in the world. When everything else is terrible, they will be awesome and always understand. They give the best head too." he sniggered "kesesese"._

"_They 'give the best head'?" Another loud laugh and he came to float by Prussia's side, "They will suck you off as much as you ask and do a great job of it."_

"_Why won't you tell me who?"_

"_You don't need to know now. You won't understand why we… I… Fuck this is confusing!" The older Prussia pulled at his silver hair in a frustrated manner. "Point is, you won't love them yet because you won't know how. Also, how in fuck could Mattie ever _humiliate_ you?"_

"_He… Sexually assaulted me?"_

_All the older Prussia did was stare, he looked away for a minute, chewing at the index finger of his glove before a cigarette poofed into hand and he stuck it into his mouth to chew it, "He did?" he looked back to Prussia, a strange emotion he couldn't pinpoint in his eyes, "Legitimately?"_

_Feeling bad for some reason, Prussia shrugged, "Maybe it's a bit of an overstatement… He pushed me over at sat on my groin."_

"_Mattie did that?" the other asked, incredulous._

"_Yeah, he said he wasn't coming on to me…"_

"_Then he wasn't." His older self took the cigarette from his mouth and rolled it between his fore and middle fingers. "Mattie never forces himself on anyone." He continued to roll the cigarette between his fingers, though he picked up the pace a bit and seemed deeper in thought. Prussia tried to see what he was thinking but in the end got a fist to the face, "You aren't privy to the thoughts of your enlightened self!" The older man smacked him across the face for added punishment and shoved him away._

_Prussia just shoved his face and turned his back on the older, pensive one, "Question, though, you said he 'humiliated' you… I remember what humiliation for me was in the old days, Mattie's not capable of that to anyone."_

_Prussia snorted, "You thought it was fucking hilarious."_

"_Oh? Well then, it must've been." For a moment, Prussia thought about something else other to call him than just "older self" grumbling he settled on just calling him what his true name was. East Germany kesed in the back of his throat and put the cigarette up to his lips again, chewing on it. "I don't really appreciate being called East Germany little boy."_

'"_It's who you actually are."_

"_Same to be said for you. You just act like I did when I was still the Kingdom. Well, after remembering the Great War, perhaps you are merely the Free State."_

"_I still have 'Prussia' in my name."_

"_Shut up and just finish your stupid story you damned swine." East Germany threw the cigarette away, it disappearing into the ether._

"_Well… After I went upstairs… Away from him… Our body committed a terrible atrocity…"_

"_Oh? And what might that be?" East Germany mocked, smirking down at him._

"_I wanted to fuck him." Prussia said with shame, covering his eyes and East Germany just laughed, clutching his stomach. "How can you just laugh! The body is both ours!"_

"_Correction, it is mine since you are still me. But I can laugh because it's funny." Somewhere in the back of his conscious, Prussia got the feeling it wasn't funny for the exact reason he thought it was. "Mattie certainly does look feminine sometimes, doesn't he? Can be… _Confusing_? Kesesese!" East Germany slapped him on the shoulder and Prussia struck out at him, knowing he would miss._

"_Why is it so damn funny to you?" he yelled, standing from his sitting position to regard the older nation. "Am I some kind of… Of…"_

"_Fag?" East Germany hissed, amused. Prussia couldn't even respond and stood there glaring. Sighing, East Germany rolled his eyes, "No, we aren't a fag. Mattie is the gay one, came out off the closet to the rest of the nations finally about five years ago."_

"_So… We two are just really good friend then?"_

"_Of course, we're _very_ close friends you could say." Prussia sighed with relief and East Germany looked off at something only he seemed able to see. Prussia got the feeling he was remembering something and was keeping it hidden from him. Whatever it was, he was sure he would remember it sooner or later. "Understand, Matthew is a… A fucking awesome dude. He's underappreciated in everything he does. Everyone mistakes him for his stupid-ass brother too to boot. In the old days, it used to only be us that recognized him. Not even that damned bear of his knew who he was and he's just… He's really a one in a million person, he preaches kindness _and_ performs it on a daily basis." East Germany had narrowed his eyes at something and seemed almost resentful._

"_Why does that seem to make you mad?"_

"_It doesn't make me mad… It makes me wonder."_

"_Since when do I think so much?"_

"_Since you got stuck in here. Most thinking we've ever gotten done since the Berlin wall went up." Suddenly, the stupidest thought in the world came up. The two people looked at each other and wondered which of them had thought of it first._

"_We're going to say we never thought of that."_

"_We might… But we're intrigued too…" East Germany came down from his sitting position and stood before him, putting a hand on his hip. "Technically… We're asleep in the world. Soooo…."_

"_Want to see?" Prussia asked, looking hisself up and down, it wouldn't' be counted as…_

"_We might laugh at ourself later when we think of it."_

"_This might be the only chance we get to try it though." East Germany looked him up and down as well, nah, this wasn't homo, this was just masturbating. Even if it was kind of gay, he was the first one to make a move in his relationship with Matthew, and it _was_ himself._

"_Alright, why not give this asinine idea a try? I've been bored in here anyway." East Germany laughed and threw himself at well… Himself. Crushing Prussia's lips in a fierce kiss._

"_The awesome and mighty Prussia is _never_ topped!"_

"_He is by the even more awesome, _dead_ nation of East Germany!" East Germany shoved Prussia to the pseudo floor of the non-space and untied the pants of the war uniform. "Also, if I manage to top you, which I will, no more of this East Germany stuff, I'm just Gilbert." Prussia tried to sit up, but East Germany seemed to know all about handling this situation and moved to sit on his stomach. "Weeeell?" An erection was already starting to build in East Germany's pants, Prussia would be lying to say it wasn't… A bit intimidating._

_Prussia smirked defiantly at him and hissed, "You've got a deal." He reached up and tore open East Germany's field blouse, using it to pull him down and suck on his right nipple. The older released a very slight moan and chuckled, enjoying the ministrations, he had more than just a little bit of experience up _his_ sleeve after all._

()()()

Well this was just fucking great! Canada sped as quickly as he could to the hospital. After learning about _this_ particular development, he couldn't afford to leave Prussia alone for a second. Reaching the hospital quicker than he ever thought possible (even for a nation) he hopped out of the car, Gilbird on head, and walked inside the establishment. He got a few stares from bystanders, but the doctors asked nothing of it. They all just knew he was too important to question even if they didn't really know who he was.

Standing at the door to Prussia's room, Matthew took a deep breath, preparing for the worst greeting ever. Upon walking in though, he noticed the body of his love was not awake… Wait, what was he doing?

His face turning red, Matthew closed the door as quickly as he could without slamming it. Returning his attention to Prussia (who was indeed masturbating in his sleep) Matthew slipped his hands into his pocket and watched. He usually only ever saw Gilbert do this if he were feeling like putting on a show for him. This was not usually Gilbert's way of thinking however. It was more of a whole… "You hef a hole, c'mere zoh I cahn fuck id" kind of thing. Of course, Matthew knew he was more than just a hole to him, this was proven by the very few and far in between times Gilbert had allowed Matthew to be the true one to top.

His mind floated off to the last time they had had sex like that… Gilbert's face… He frowned, usually when they had sex like that Gilbert became very depressed thereafter. It wasn't his pride had been damaged or anything, hell no, allowing Matthew to top him in such a way was an ultimate show of trust and caring that shook him to the core. It was just that every time it brought back memories of Russia.

The first time Prussia had asked him…

"_Vhen vas de lasd time you _acdually_ god to fuck zomevon?" Gilbert asked out of the blue one evening. Matthew chuckled at the odd question, they had been "dating" for about a year by now. He carried on with cleaning up after dinner, figuring Gilbert hadn't seriously wanted an answer just sort of a way of making fun of him as he often did. "Honesd qvesdion." Gilbert stirred his coffee, giving himself something to do other than looking at Matthew. Gilbird was busy sitting in his hair and pecking at a stray piece sticking up in his face._

"_I would have to say… Possibly five years. I don't make a habit of picking up prostitutes, Gil. They may be prostitutes, but they're people with lives too." Matthew continued cleaning, wondering why Gilbert would ever ask such an out of character question. Usually it seemed he didn't give a shit about how Matthew felt in bed._

"_Uhm, vell… I'fe been dinking…" Matthew froze in his workings and looked over his shoulder at Gil. He was averting his eyes, his face turning a pinkish color._

"_Gil, what are you trying to ask?"_

"_If you voult vant to… For tonighd…"_

"_Gilbert, I'm fine with how we have things, if you really-"_

"_Noh, ve'fe been togeder long enough. Id's nod fair to you for you to alvays be on boddom." Matthew put down the dish he was cleaning and took his gloves off, laying them in the sink. Folding his arms over his chest, he walked over to him, pulling out his chair and sitting down on Gilbert's lap._

"_Gilbert, I have no problem being on bottom. I like it, you making me feel what no other person can." He put one of his legs on the other side of Gilbert's hips and straddled him. Gilbert had yet to look back at him, his face turning redder. Matthew pecked his cheek and nuzzled underneath his chin._

"_Bud I… I… I _vant_ you to…" It certainly had been something hard for him to admit and of course it would've been. Last person who topped him was Russia after all. "I ahlzo vant to… Ged rid of dinking dat kint of zexual ding ist bad." Matthew took his head out from under his chin and looked at him straight. "Ahd leasd, nod bat vid you." He was still looking away so Matthew put a hand to his cheek and made him look back at him with a smile._

"_If it's really what you want Gilbert." He kissed him, feeling Gilbert's heart hammering nervously beneath him. "Just promise me you won't punch me when I try, okay?"_

_Gilbert made his signature "kesesese" noise, "I voult nefer punch you Maddhew." Gilbert's eyes flicked to the side for a second as if thinking, "Vell, nod vhile fucking." he shrugged absently._

_Matthew gave him a wry, sidelong look, that wasn't totally true since Gilbert had the tendency to be every bit of a sadist as his little brother in bed. It was true he had never _punched_ him, but he _had_ done other things. Letting his smile straighten out, the blonde pressed their fronts together, whispering into his ear, "Also Gil, calm down." Matthew reached down and grabbed him making the albino jump, "It only hurts in the beginning."_

"_You're more defious dan I efer gafe you cretid for ahren'd you?"_

"_Maybe, just a little bit." Matthew nipped and sucked at Gilbert's earlobe, his hand entering the tense albino's pants._

I lof you…" the declaration tore Matthew from his memories and focused him again on the present world. The words hadn't been spoken in context of the waking world either, whatever he was dreaming about, it certainly wasn't him. Sighing, he walked over to the masturbating sleeper and sat down next to him.

"I love you too, Gil." He smiled and leaned in, kissing him. Strangely, Prussia responded and kissed back. Leaving his lips, Prussia's hand redoubled its efforts. Matthew rolled his eyes, "You're just going to wear yourself raw doing that. Here." Looking around first, he pulled back the sheets, exposing the enthusiastic hand and engorged member. Climbing on the bed, he carefully took away Prussia's hand, allowing it to rest in his hair and grab at it. Prussia was nothing if not a deep sleeper if Matthew knew anything, this would be easy as long as he didn't make too many noises.

Surprised that Germany had actually known this trick (then again, it was only common sense), Matthew spit into his hand and rubbed away all the nasty-tasting precum on Prussia's shiny head and kissed it. His tongue snaked out then and swished around the head, coating it in a fine layer of saliva. The sleeping man responded immediately with a moan and tugged lightly at Matthew's hair. Slowly, Matthew began bobbing his head up and down, dragging the tip his tongue against the area directly beneath Prussia's head. He sucked and swirled his tongue around the head as much as he could, reveling in the noises it elicited from the sleeping man.

Taking a deep breath and steeling the muscles in the back of his throat, he took the member down to its base, burrowing his nose into the white patch of hair there. He gagged for a second, increasing pressure on the penis that had already been half-way there to begin with. Five years and his throat had yet to become fully accustomed to the truly impressive length. Again, he began to bob his head, this time much more vigorously (being careful all the while not to gag again), louder noises came from the albino and he tugged harder at Matthew's hair.

One final suck and swirl of the tongue around Prussia's head and Matthew felt his hot seed pour into his mouth, nearly making him cough. Prussia made a loud, fulfilled noise to go with his relief, spasms shooting all throughout his body. Matthew took his full mouth off Prussia's penis and wiped the excess from his mouth. The fluid never really tasted good, but he swallowed all the same to prevent having to clean it up. Were he in a bathroom of such a public establishment, he would have spit it into the sink or something.

He let his tongue flop out in a show of "yick" before walking over to the sink he had forgotten was in the room and gargled warm water from it. Perhaps he had forgotten it was there on purpose… At least once he had his orgasm Prussia had released his hair allowing him to do this. He looked back over his shoulder at the still twitching man and smiled at the look on his face. One final gargle and he walked back over to him, wiping the excess spittle off on the blankets before pulling his boxers back up and putting the cloth patient's gown back in place. Taking Prussia's hand, he patted it once and laid it gently on his stomach.

For an odd reason, Matthew couldn't find a reason to be guilty about that. Prussia had been trying to get off anyway, why not help a friend in need? Okay, they weren't really friends, just cohabiting individuals. Should he have counted that as sexual harassment?

_Oh, damn…_ Matthew rubbed at his face, it turning red. _Why did I do that?_

()()()

"_Oh fuck… Where did I learn to do that?" Prussia asked Gilbert as he laid on his back and observed his more experienced self stand and roll a cigarette between his usual fingers._

"_Years of practice." Gilbert smirked, realizing that he was _definitely_ not fully responsible for the man's orgasm. The only other person it could have been was Matthew, which, he had had the feeling he was around when he accidentally let his moan of love slip. If it was him it almost appalled him that Matthew would do such a thing to him in sleep, but Gilbert had been doing it every night to him, just more dry-humping than anything like that. It amused him greatly that Prussia never suspected a thing to boot. "Want to go another round?"_

"_No, I think I should be waking up soon. That was… A very interesting experience." Not to mention frightening and the slightest bit painful… At first. It made him a little bit sick that he had actually enjoyed it for the most part._

"_Enough with the self-loathing! Just because you liked that doesn't mean you're gay."_

"_It doesn't?"_

"_No, it feels good doesn't it? It's just done in a different way." Gilbert rolled his eyes and stared at the cigarette, fervently wishing it were real._

"_How do you know what I'm thinking but I can't tell what you do unless you let me?"_

"_I'm older and the actual personality. You're just something created while I'm away." He stuck the cigarette in his mouth and rolled it around with his tongue, "You're not real."_

"_Who says I'm not?"_

"_I do, the one you're _supposed_ to be. Don't go getting all bent out of shape over it. When you remember everything you won't be anymore and there won't even be any anger." Gilbert took the cigarette out of his mouth and rolled it between his fingers again, seeming to think for a second, "Also, smoke more cigarettes during the day. _You_ might not feel the need for them, but I'm going insane here, it's hard to get you to feel the addiction as acutely as I do."_

_Grumbling at having to admit that Gilbert was right, Prussia looked away and stood up, his clothes re-materializing on him as they were beginning to on Gilbert, "I will see what I can do." He said, trying once again to figure out how to wake up._

"_Oh, Mattie helped you last time didn't he?" the older albino rubbed his jaw line in thought for a moment, shrugging. "Guess you're fucked until he wakes you up."_

_Prussia's eyes went wide as he sensed the pun, "No! No more! I told you already!" "Aw… I'm bored though. Being bored is __**not**__ awesome!" the older albino was already naked again and quite… Eager._

"_I know it's not, but what if that stupid Canadian walks in? I don't want him to see my unconscious body jerking off! He might jerk off to-" "Matt isn't like that. Now shut up and get on the ground, bitch."_

()()()

"Prussia, wake up." Matthew shook Prussia's shoulder lightly, the now awake man jumped a little bit and snorted something out. Quickly Prussia looked to Matthew and said, "Dank you!" Blinking and slightly confused Matthew asked, "What happened?"

"I vas aboud to be fuckt in de arsch by-"

"It's okay, you don't need to say anything else." Matthew put a sympathetic hand on Prussia's shoulder and gripped it firmly. "Is that all you have been dreaming of?"

"Yeah, acdually, vell, 'cepd fur de dream before id. I vas fucking zome hot chick." _That's it Prussia, lie your ass off._ He smirked at Canada quite devilishly.

"Vhen vas de lasd time _you_ hat a dream dat awesome?"

"Okay, first off, I haven't had sex with a woman in… Fifty-six years, those dreams worry me now when I have them." Matthew answered sincerely, leaning back in the chair by Prussia's bed.

Something about that didn't add up in Prussia's mind and lead him to ask, "Fivdy-zix? I doughd you zait you'fe been gay fur ofer a hundert years."

"Drunk mistakes happen." Matthew shrugged, "And my last awesome dream was… Five days ago."

"Vhat happant?"

"You." Perhaps he was being _too _honest now.

"Vhat dit I do?" Prussia sounded indignant.

"You have done just a bang-up job of occupying all my thoughts and worries."

"Oh…"

"Yep."

"You vant _your_ me back preddy bat den." "How would you feel if you best friend was replaced with some idiot that doesn't give a shit about you?" Matthew flicked a piece of bear hair off his pants.

"Vell I voult…" It was then Prussia noticed the little yellow and white bird sitting on Matthew's head. "Zay uhm… You hef a birt." Prussia indicated with his index finger.

"Great, first you harass me for being gay and now you're calling me crazy."

"Noh! I'm nod und… Vhere dit you learn dat?"

"I got you with it a little while ago after reading it somewhere." Matthew took Gilbird from his head and petted him for a bit. "He usually sits on _your_ head."

"Vhy?"

"Germany has dogs, I have a talking polar bear, you have Gilbird here." Matthew reached out and plopped the bird down into Prussia's silver locks. "He's been showing symptoms of being away from you too long."

"Oh… I ditn'd know I hat zomeding special… Does _Westen_ schtill hef Berlitz?" Prussia reached up and scratched his affectionate bird on the head.

"Yes. He also has Blackie, a Doberman you gave him for his birthday a few years before World War Two and Aster, a Golden Retriever, I don't know when he got her, I just know she's also been around a long time. I've seen a few Dalmatians running about his property recently too, so apparently he has other ones I didn't know about."

"Wow, he hes zoh many." "Dad has like… Twenty birds all named Pierre, eh." Matthew shrugged, blowing his _ahoge_ out of his face.

"Eh?"

The Canadian's bluish-purple eyes went to half-lidded, "I see."

"Vhat?" It had indeed been an uncustomary response.

"You always make fun of me for that."

"De 'eh' ding? Vhy?"

"Canadians are supposed to say it. Not all of us do and I've worked very hard to break myself of the habit just because you're so annoying about it."

"Vhat ahre freunds fur?" Matthew couldn't help but notice the odd change in speech, preferring to say fur as opposed to for. Slightly, he wondered what it could have meant. It didn't seem harmful for now, so he just dismissed it.

Getting back to what Prussia had said, smiling, Matthew pushed his glasses to sit higher up on his nose, "You may have a point there."

"Vhy dit you come back zoh early?"

Matthew was not about to tell him that his boss expected a very unsavory individual to come looking for him in the near future, so he did what came all too naturally, he lied, "After cleaning up there wasn't much to do with you in the hospital and Germany back home. I couldn't do anything woodsy since it's raining and with you in the hospital it seemed callous to read a book or watch TV so I came back." Though it wasn't really a lie since all those things were true too.

Prussia nodded and sniggered to himself, "You coultn'd schtay avay from my awezomeness."

Matthew rolled his eyes and put his hands up in a "you got me" gesture, "You know, I think that's _really_ what it was. There is just something about your self-absorbedness that drew me back in."

"Hart to holt a cantle to my goot looks und jus' how gread I ahm istn'd id?"

"Yep. Exactly it."

"I'm nod liking your tone."

"I'm not liking you." Matthew shrugged facetiously as Prussia just growled in anger, "But you know, you're acting a lot more like yourself now."

"Really?" Matthew nodded in affirmative. "Hm, I hef a qvesdion fur you."

"And, what would that be?"

"De scar on my back, de lasd ding I remembert aboud de Gread Var vas its smaller pards being mate… De liddle finger-like pards. Vhat ist de resd of id?"

"Oh… Well, Germany got it started, dismantling you and all. But you weren't officially gone until the Allies at the end of World War Two beat you up and completed it. They made the big gnarled center of it."

"Vere you pard of de Allies?" Canada remained silent for a moment, deciding whether or not to answer. But his silence said it all. "You vere von of de people who gafe me to Russia?" Now Prussia was angry _and_ felt betrayed. It didn't matter if it was long ago or if he didn't necessarily remember much of it yet.

"I was one against many Prussia. I couldn't do a thing about it." Matthew twiddled with his fingers for a second, "I was one of the few to advocate for your being reunited with Germany though…"

"_Ja_, und now, accorting to you, he hes de whole territory, dat _coult_ hef **really** killt me, you know."

"Prussia, be happy I cared about how you felt under Russian occupation. I didn't know anything about you as a person at the time. I just knew you were a dangerous, unstable individual that didn't even deserve that kind of punishment. If ending your life would have ended your suffering as well, I was going to do it." the Canadian didn't really seem the least bit remorseful for it. Everything had, in the end, turned out alright anyway.

Prussia was silent then, his conscience pulsing sadness and a feeling of betrayal also. So, apparently Gilbert hadn't known Canada's true intentions either, "I coult zay dank you, dead ist bedder dan schlafory… I'm nod going to dough und I vill zimply ahsk, you don'd like Russia eider, do you?"

"No… I don't like him, that's largely because of what he did to you. I didn't know I would get saddled with caring for you afterwards. Caring for your broken person, of course, as you died after the wall fell, it took me a few _years_ to help you. I felt even worse for you… But as I got to know you, I really liked you." Matthew shrugged, "It wasn't out of pity either. I honestly saw myself being friends with you."

"Hef ve been freunds efer zince?"

"Yeah. I think you more liked to spend time with me because you were spiteful at your brother. But, you liked me too, apparently. So, it wasn't exactly as forced as it sounds."

"Vhat dit my bruder do?"

"Nothing for you… He gave you to me because he didn't want to deal with you. I don't think he really thought I could help you… He just didn't want to see you how you were." Matthew picked at his nails nervously. He never liked talking about it, it generally depressed Gilbert too when the subject came up every November. "But, let's talk about something else, shall we?"

"Cahn I schtill come vid you into town to… Vhat dit you do?"

"We went to bars."

"_Ja_, cahn I schtill come?"

"Of course, but, like I said, you're going to need to learn rules."

"Like vhat?"

"Like, you _have_ to pay for everything you get."

"Who zays?"

"The law. Nobody knows we exist anymore except for the privileged few." Prussia nodded in response. "Also, if someone says no to your advances, don't get mad. There are plenty other fish in the sea for someone as attractive as you." the albino smirked and made a show of looking at himself. Matthew sort of chuckled and rolled his eyes affectionately, "If someone says something and you don't know what it means, ask me, okay?" Prussia nodded again, these rules were simple! "Fighting of any kind is not allowed. You can get in trouble big time for it. Germany almost did the other night." Okay, that would be sort of hard to avoid when fights were so fun.

"Ist dat ahll?"

"All I can think of for now." Prussia smirked again, confident in his ability to handle any and all of these things.

"Vhen ist de nexd time you're going drinking?"

"Probably this Saturday."

"Vhat ist totay?"

"Tuesday." Prussia groaned and crossed his arms, it was going to be a _long_ week, he was sure of it. A long week with only Canada around… He shuddered.

"So, how are you feeling?" Matthew asked, looking over the extensive stitches, he had also noticed the shudder and wondered if he was cold.

"Alrighd. Noding hes torn. Vhat do mosd people do in de hospidal?"

"Watch television… Sleep… Talk to their visitors."

"Vhere ahre de resd of my fisidors?" Prussia asked, irritated that he didn't have any more than Canada and his brother.

"They can't know you're sick."

"I'm nod zick dough."

"Yes, you are. You don't remember much of the last how ever many years?"

"Dat doesn'd cound ahz being zick."

"By today's terms it does. We can't let anyone know." _Tough luck with that though, there's a world meeting on Thursday…_ How had he forgotten about that for this long? Maybe he could get Austria and Hungary in on it and they could keep him quiet. Or perhaps he could simply say he was sick and wasn't able to attend. He was a dead nation anyway wasn't he? It was confusing that Gilbert was still invited to all world meetings even though he technically wasn't a part of it any more than any human was. Only issue was if he was invited only he could call himself in or his absence was seen as a there was a problem. Even he wasn't allowed to call in for him. _Damn it. _"Do you think you're going to be healed enough by tomorrow to come back to the house?"

"Provably. By de ent of de day, I doubd I'll acdually neet mosd of my schtitches." Canada nodded, looking away, trying to occupy his thoughts with other things than the impending meeting he was better off forgetting about.

The two sat in silence for a little bit after that, thankfully, a nurse came in with a tray of food for Prussia and sat it down in front of him. He watched her butt as she left with an impressed smirk, "Sche's god to be Prussian." The albino "kesed" and Matthew just shook his head.

"What makes you think that?"

"Sche's acdually adtractife."

"What about all the other nurses you've hit on?" Matthew began to cut up the food the nurse had given Prussia as it was clear he wasn't going to do it himself.

"Dey're podential holes. Dat's ahll."

"You're gross."

"Zays de von dat fucks arsches."

"Spelunker." The blonde commented offhandedly as he finished preparing Prussia's food.

"Vhat's dat?" Prussia picked up his fork and began to eat.

"You enjoy having sex with women 'exploring their caves'."

"Vhere do people come up vid dese names?" Prussia blinked, tipping his head to the side, genuinely curious.

"Crass expressions are required when the humans get bored of the old ones." Matthew attempted to steal a carrot off Prussia's plate but nearly ended up with a plastic fork jammed into his hand.

"My carrod." Prussia picked up the tuber and chewed on it pointedly.

"Greedy." Matthew stood and Prussia watched him, "I'm going to get something to eat. I'm not leaving the hospital so I'll be back." Prussia just nodded and looked back down to his food. "Want the television on before I leave?" The albino shook his head and just kept eating. "I'll see you in a few minutes then." Canada left the room without further word and headed towards the cafeteria area.

The door to the room opened again after only a few minutes and Prussia looked up, Canada couldn't have been back _already_. No, it wasn't Canada, it was some strawberry-blonde guy, well, not that Canada didn't have locks of hair that were red, but this guy's whole head was the same color.

"_Hallo_." Prussia greeted, suspicious of this man he had yet to meet.

"Hello there, Mr. Beilschmidt." The doctor said as he looked over the chart in hand, he looked up and held out his free one. "I'm Dr. Stoughton, nice to finally meet you." Prussia gingerly took his hand, still not trusting him in the slightest. "Now, would you prefer for me to refer to you as Mr. Beilschmidt or Prussia?" Stoughton took his hand back and picked up his pen he had stuck to his clipboard.

"Prussia. Know your place." the high and mighty nation said, a little bit less irritated now that he could pull rank on him.

"Yessir Prussia, eh." Stoughton said, scribbling something down.

"Vhat do you vant?"

"I'm here to see how you're doing. Any discomfort or bleeding?"

"Noh." Prussia stabbed another vegetable and chewed it.

"Can you stand on your own?" Grumbling, Prussia carefully extricated himself from beneath the table his tray was sitting on and stood. "Would you mind if I took a look? I want to see how your stitches are healing, eh."

Reaching back to undo the patient's gown Prussia asked, "You're nod zome kint of fag ahre you?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business, sir." Stoughton narrowed his green-blue eyes at him.

"_Ahre_ you?"

"I'm _married_ sir."

"Doesn'd mean anyding." Prussia had yet to undo his gown and seemed less and less willing as each second passed.

Stoughton closed his eyes and when he opened them they gleamed with bottled fury, "I am your doctor. I am a professional individual, **do not** make me get Canada in here to help me, eh." Snorting, Prussia complied and took the patient gown off, tossing it to the bed. Better to be mostly naked in front of someone who was professional rather than that little fag. Sighing with relief, the doctor walked over to Prussia and examined the healing cuts. "Well, at the rate they are healing, I would say we can remove the stitches from your smaller ones this evening. I've heard stories from other doctors how quickly you all heal but this is amazing."

"_Ja, ja_, I'm awezome, ged on vid id."

"Well, if we are indeed able to remove your stitches tonight, your larger ones might be ready by morning, provided you get enough sleep. You will be out of here by three tomorrow if it all goes according to plan, eh."

"Goot to hear, now leaf zoh I can ead." Dr. Stoughton suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and watched Prussia put his gown back on.

"So nice meeting you, I will be back once more before I leave to check up on your stitches again. If they are looking good I will tell the nurses which stitches to remove tonight."

"Alrighd." Raising his brows in an irritated manner, the doctor turned on his heels and left, Prussia snorting humorously as he left. "Definidely a fag." Prussia tied his gown on again and sat down, returning to his food and awaiting Canada's arrival.

()()()()()

Notes:

Platz! Platz-Down! Down!

Sitz-Sit!

Brave Hunde-Brave dogs. (Just means "Good dogs")

Ah, doch, wo ist Italien-Ah, but, where is Italy?

Bringt mir Italien-Bring me Italy!

Voraus-Run out! (can either mean to go away or to go look for something)

Abendessen-Dinner

"Zay uhm… You hef a birt."-To say "you have a bird" to someone (in German of course) and making a certain hand-gesture can be calling them either insane or stupid. (Someone on here knows quite well it's one of my favorite jokes XD)

"Well, Germany got it started, dismantling you and all. But you …"-The official dates of the nation known truly as Prussia are 1525-1947 (the character is much older than that [quite possibly over 800 if you keep going back far enough]) the reason behind this is 1934, January thirtieth, Prussia was abolished _de facto _by Germany. However, it was not abolished _de jure_ until the Allies came along at the end of the war on the twenty-fifth of February 1947. All I can say is Prussia sure didn't go down easily XD

So, hey, we got a glimpse of what's going on with Germany and Italy in this chapter (also some really uhm… "interesting" concepts between the two Prussias, sorry about that guys, Gilbert's been bored) can anyone guess what happened (between Italy and Germany of course)?

Okay, I'm done for now, I don't have very many closing remarks to make on this one.

Oh, my wisdom teeth, the removal was a success and the drugs they have given me I already have a basic immunity to, so I am completely conscious and able to write. Chapter 10 will take a little bit to write, but it should be up before long.


	10. Which To Bury Us or the Hatchet

Over 100 comments… TT_TT I love you guys, you make me so happy! Also, sorry this one took me so long to do, oh well, happy birthday Alfred J You're an idiot sometimes, but at least you're a nice guy.

()()()()()

Which To Bury; Us Or The Hatchet

"_I think you know what I'm getting at  
__I find it so upsetting that  
__the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget  
__and even though I'm angry I can still say  
__I know my heart will break the day  
__when you peel out and drive away  
__I can't believe this happened  
__And all this time I never thought  
__that all we had would be all for naught  
__No, I don't hate you  
__don't want to fight you  
__know I'll always love you  
__but right now I just don't like you_"-Relient K

()()()

A little over an hour had passed and Dr. Stoughton had indeed returned to do his final assessment before leaving. Prussia was due to have his lesser stitches removed at eight o'clock that evening. But, Canada had yet to return from his early dinner leave. It weighed on Prussia's mind too. Perhaps he had lied and left him… Why would that matter though? The way Canada spoke made it sound like he had no choice but to return to him.

Still, Prussia couldn't help but wonder what the hold-up was, "Lazy Canatian." he grumbled, feeling the onset of boredom as he had _long_ finished his food. Standing, he paced around the room, growing more and more irritated with the passing minutes on the clock. "Grr! Vhere de fuck ist he?"

()()()

"Sirs, can you please take this outside?" The staff of the cafeteria pleaded to the three blondes standing in the middle of the room. The largest of them gave no answer and merely stood his ground, smiling innocently. The other two, they could possibly have been twins, ignored the staff as well, one of them fiercely glaring at their "enemy" the other just looked stern and worried.

"Ya have no reason t'be here! Leave!" The more energetic of the twins yelled.

"Oh, but, I _do_. Zere is someone here I need to take care of, da."

"Not if _I_ have anythin' t'say in it!" The same twin put up his hands as if to fight, he already had a black eye from earlier, having been whacked quite violently in the face with a tray.

"Alfred, we can't do this here." Twin number two told his brother. His brother looked to him and looked back to their adversary.

"Where d'we go then?"

"Outside?" the smaller looked to the giant and jerked his head in the direction of the door. "These people have nothing to do with this Ivan. Let's clear this up outside."

"But, who I have to deal viz is not outside. He is in here. Vhy vould I go _avay _from my target, da?"

"Ivan, you are in _my _rink, you will listen to me."

The huge, purple-eyed individual seemed bored and looked off at nothing for a second before suddenly pulling a faucet pipe out of his large coat and flipping it around his hand, "Alright, comrade." he said with a cheery smile, all the men and women in the cafeteria backing away at first sight of the lead pipe.

The three fled the room and regarded each other in the back parking lot of the hospital. Matthew sighed and looked Russia up and down. He had no idea what Russia wanted with Prussia this time, but it obviously wasn't anything good if that pipe was any indication.

"Okay Russia, why are you here, eh?" the Canadian asked, giving Russia a chance to speak before Alfred opened his huge mouth again.

"To take care of a small problem." Russia answered simply.

"And that would be?"

"You call him 'lover'." Matthew felt his blood boil at the way Russia spoke. It was as if he were insulting him for falling in love. It seemed Alfred was about to say something, but Matthew shut him up with but a single look.

"At least I can get a willing one." he hadn't been able to help himself, it just slipped out.

"Am I making you mad _little_ comrade?" Russia taunted, flipping his pipe around his wrist again.

"Russia, you cannot expect me to take your invading me well."

"Who said anyzing about me invading? I am only here for the freeloader." Russia was beginning to drop his pleasant mask.

"He's not a freeloader. What do you want with him anyway? He was released from your hold a _long_ time ago."

"On the contrar-"

"Can we jus' shut up an' fight?" America enthusiastically broke through, ready to go ape-shit on Russia's ass. Russia narrowed his eyes at America and looked between him and Canada. He _clearly_ hadn't been expecting a fight upon arriving.

"Perhaps… Anozer day. I vill give you time to zink on it _comrades_. You vill eizer give me my property or face de raz of mozer Russia." Smiling cheerily, he turned and left, a ominous feeling being left behind as he did. Both of the North America brothers visibly relaxed and looked to one another.

"What was that about?" Matthew asked, drained from merely having to be _near_ Russia.

Alfred sighed and motioned for him to follow, "I will tell you inside." He threw Russia a parting glare over his shoulder before leading his brother back into the hospital.

Once inside, they were given a few looks by staff and customers, but no one questioned since the main problem hadn't returned inside with them.

"Okay, my boss won't tell me what's goin' on." Alfred began, speaking in a hushed tone. "He _has_ told me, however, we are going to piss Russia off somethin' fierce. Pretty much the whole world is."

"My boss told me not to leave Prussia unattended… It's obvious Russia _really_ is angry at him about something. Do you think this is the same deal?" Matthew asked, wondering what the whole world had to do with Prussia.

"Yes, apparently it's all of our jobs to keep Russia at bay for as long as possible. Unfortunately, you're supposed to be th'only one of us that _knows_ what's going on… We're protecting Prussia from somethin'. Of course, you don't even know the reasonin' why… What do ya thin' our bosses are plannin'?" Matthew shrugged, very rarely did their bosses keep such vital information from them. But, there was little a nation could do about it as their purpose was to advise and serve their bosses.

"I don't know… Have they started sending troops anywhere?"

"I don't have many t'spare right now, so if he starts sendin' them somewhere else, I won't be able t'keep track." Alfred reported, regretfully. "But…" Matthew looked from his twiddling fingers back to him. "You can bet this is somethin' big if our bosses won't tell us what's goin' on." The nations nodded to one another, this had to be true, so rarely their bosses hid _anything _from them. Sadly, it did little to alleviate their curiosity and made Matthew worry for Prussia up in his room.

"Alfred… There is something I have to tell you…" Matthew figured that he might as well tell him. He would need the support at the meeting on Thursday. Most likely the entire world was going to want to talk about the state of affairs between Prussia and Russia anyway. "It's about Gilbert."

Sensing what was coming, Alfred frowned and took his brother's hand "I'm so sorry Matt, y'know, I know it's not often, but, y'know it _is_ possible for me t'not like being right sometimes, right?" he gave a sheepish smile while his younger brother just stared at him.

"What in the world are you talking about, eh?"

Alfred flinched a little bit, uncurling his fingers from Matthew's ever-so-slightly, "Uhm… Has Prussia been cheating on ya?"

"_Non_." Matthew replied with a dead tone. He only _wished_ that was what was going on… Okay, no he didn't, but at least he would know how to properly react to that.

"Oh… Well, then… Uhm…" The American took his hand back and smoothed out his hair, a nervous chuckle filling the space between them, "What was it y'wanted t'say then?"

"Gilbert has… Uehm… Amnesia?" America just sat there and stared, putting a hand up to his chin in thought.

"Y'mean like… Like in th' movies?"

"Euh, somewhat… He only has most of his memories intact until the end of World War One…"

"That's fuckin' cool…" **Smack**! "Ow! What was that for?" the American yelped, rubbing the back of his head while putting his glasses back on.

"Not cool, Alfred!" Matthew stood up and glared down at him. "He doesn't remember _me_. Very not 'cool' you idiot!" They were attracting attention again, but at least this time they were just showing usual brotherly tensions.

"So, you're sayin' he doesn't remember that y'two are s'posed to be in love? Or something like that?" It was never okay to think of his little brother in love with that _caveman_. It was never okay to think of them engaging in relations either, or even accepting the fact that they _could_ have been doing that. Prussia with _anyone_ was not okay.

"Yes, Alfred. He doesn't." Matthew sullenly sat down and Alfred began to think that maybe he should be having better thoughts about the man. The point was his brother _was_ in love with him and Matthew was suffering because of it. Was _now_ when he actually got to play big brother to Matthew and he would _appreciate _his efforts? "What if Kiku didn't remember anything that you two have been through together, eh? What would you do then?"

"I would… I would, eh… I would still be how we always are. He would get the picture sooner or later." Matthew just stared at him, honestly believing his brother incapable of a single intelligent thought. "Oh, c'mon, that doesn't mean I'd _rape_ the guy or nothin'-"

"Keep your voice down." the Canadian hissed lowly, casting the cafeteria and hospital staff a panicky look.

Alfred sighed, "Anyway, the point is, I would just _show_ him how much me means to me. How much I love him…"

_You don't exactly do a good job of that _now_ Alfred…_ Instead of saying that, Matthew preferred, "Kiku is a softie at heart, Al. Prussia… He didn't even admit to feeling emotions like _romantic_ love until the wall dropped. And to go further than that, _Germany_ was the first person to hear that Prussia loved anything, period."

"Your point is?"

"Prussia _doesn't_ love. Not yet anyway. He barely understands kind feelings considering the stage he's at right now…"

"How in Hell did y'ever fall in love with him in th' first place?" Alfred quirked an eyebrow,

"If Prussia's incapable of lovin' an' all…"

Matthew sighed and roughly rubbed his face, "I fell in love with _Gilbert_. Not Prussia."

"There's a diff'rence?"

"Sure there is… I'm surprised you never noticed the difference between Kiku and Japan…"

"No, there is a difference between those two. But Prussia is only Prussia."

"Because you don't know him. Prussia is pretty much… Well, he's vile and rude and loves to kill people and torture them… Gilbert…" Matthew smiled and sighed thoughtfully, "Gilbert is rude, a little bit narcissistic, but he's loving, he loves _me_… And, of course, I love him…" The Canadian looked away and thought it rather amazing that Alfred had nothing to say to that. "By the way, thanks for arriving when you did… Did your boss tell you to head up here?"

"Yeah, he said you were expecting a visit from Russia and your boss wanted someone up here to help incase he chose to make a personal visit." Alfred reached up to feel his bruising face. When Russia had made his entrance he had tried to knock Matthew out cold with a lunch tray. Too bad for him Alfred had been there to intervene and take the blow for him. "But, why did you get off on the earlier subject?"

"Oh, right, Prussia doesn't know who he is, we can't bring him to the meeting on Thursday, you should know that."

"Well, he seems to be important right now, we can't really leave him out. Everyone will wonder where he is. There is also the matter of that he has to call himself in…"

"The chances of him doing that when he's _this_ bored are slim to none. He wants to see everyone." Matthew stood and folded his arms over his chest, getting antsy about returning to Prussia. "I want to keep him away too so we won't have to talk to Russia."

"That shouldn't be much of a problem Mattie, pretty much everyone but Russia is on our side."

"I still don't want him seeing Russia this early. I don't think you really unders-"

"Calm down Matt, really!" Alfred sprang to his feet and slapped his brother heartily on the shoulder, "Bring Prussia to the world meeting and we'll all protect him. If that red bastard tries to lay _one_ finger on your pretty little albino's head, I'll nuke him myself." Matthew felt a blush working at his face, he wasn't sure if he should be mad about such a threat or happy that Alfred seemed so accepting of his worry over Prussia. This could have possibly been the only time so far Alfred had been supportive of Matthew's love.

"Uhm… Thank you Al… That's… That's really sweet of you."

"What're big brother's for, eh Mattie?" The older blonde embraced his little brother closely. "But I gotta get back ta Kiku soon. He'll begin to wonder where I am. I kinda just disappeared on him and all!" Matthew didn't comment on the fact that Kiku probably no longer wondered where he was and just smiled. "If y'need anythin' at all, like, ever, jus' lemme know!"

"Of course, Al." One last hug and America departed the hospital. Matthew's stomach growled and it occurred to him that in all the madness he never got to eat anything. Shrugging, he figured Prussia could wait another few minutes while he waited. It wasn't like the man was exactly eager for his return anyway.

()()()

Looking up to the clock again, Prussia idly played with his gown, it had been _two_ hours since Canada had left. There was no word in the English language that could adequately express the sheer _boredom_ he was feeling. And it was only near six o'clock, he had two hours more to wait before getting his stitches out and he didn't think he could live without stimulation for that long.

Grumbling, he thrust himself to his feet and began to look around his room again. He pulled open a few cabinets and poked around in them. Not finding anything the least bit interesting, he closed them and started pacing again. How did humans _stand_ this?

_They all must live extremely boring lives…_ There was a knock at his door and he glared daggers at it as it slowly opened. A blonde head slipped into the room and seemed alarmed at first when the bed appeared empty. Walking the rest of the way into the room Canada looked over to the albino and jumped.

"Oh, you scared me G-er, Prussia." Prussia quirked an eyebrow and Canada closed the door behind him. "Sorry, I took so long, there was a massive line downstairs."

Prussia shrugged, "Vhy voult I care how long you vere gone?"

"Because you don't like being alone."

"Who zays?"

"You did." The albino's brow furrowed angrily and he turned away from Canada, heading back for his bed to sit down. "Are you sore at all?" "Liddle bid. De docdor zait I cahn ged zome of my schtidches remooft lader totay." Prussia sat down and got himself comfortable, fighting back a wince as something poked at one of his stitched-cuts.

"Oh, the doctor came for a visit?"

"_Ja_. I dink he vas a fag. Ahzkt if he coult zee me vidoud my clodes on."

Matthew sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, maybe he would have preferred to deal with Russia over Prussia's stupidity and dramatics, "He needed to see all your cuts and most of them are beneath your clothes, Prussia." the other just snorted and ignored him. Needing some sort of stimulation, and figuring that Prussia wouldn't mind a good joke, Matthew smiled, "Now, if he were gay and were harassing you…" Matthew took a few steps towards Prussia, gaining his attention, "He would have asked to check for a hernia," the Canadian's hand floated just above Prussia's groin, getting him a warning glare, "Or he would have asked for a prostate exam." Matthew poked part of Prussia's butt and got his hand smacked away. He chuckled, "But since he didn't, it's safe to say that he was a doctor doing his job."

"If you zay zoh. You know dis veirt place bedder dan I do."

"Did you just admit I knew more about something than you?" Matthew blinked questioningly at him.

"Vhat of id?" Prussia asked, suspicious.

"Nothing, it's just funny considering you're you." Silence overtook them and Matthew chose to take a seat, pulling a book from nowhere and beginning to read.

"Cahn I schtill do dat?" Matthew looked up from his book to Prussia, what had he asked? Seeing the questioning look on Matthew's face, Prussia groaned and pointed at the book, "Cahn I schtill do schtuff like _dat_?" Confused, Matthew looked at the book and thought about how he had gotten it.

"Oh, when you're in the eastern part of Germany you can."

"Oh, goot."

"Hungary can still pull her frying pan from nowhere regardless of where she is."

Prussia let his tongue hang out to express distaste, "Sches alvay been veirt."

Matthew chuckled, "Says the albino that thought she was a boy."

"Hey, sche nefer acdet righd, I hat de righd to dink sche vas a boy. Bezites, Schpecks doughd Italy vas a girl fur a long time."

"I heard that he used to wear dresses all the time." Matthew said with only slight interest, returning his attention to his book.

"No vonter _Westen_ ust to dink he vas a girl too." It was offhandedly said and quiet resumed between them. Really, Matthew didn't find it too much of an issue that they seemed to have nothing to talk about. He had no true desire to talk to Prussia and he was only currently hanging about him because Russia appeared to be on the outs with him. _That _was what made Matthew curious, had Gilbert done something to him recently that he hadn't been informed about? Usually, whenever Gilbert had done something out of line or got in trouble, he and Germany were the first ones to hear about it. Germany would have said something to him and he hadn't been informed of anything as of late so what could it have been?

Opening his mouth and turning to Prussia to ask him if he knew anything of Russia, he found that Prussia was no longer among the waking. He had fallen back asleep, his face serene and relaxed. Matthew sighed and leaned back in his chair, just waiting for the man to start masturbating again.

When he didn't start, Matthew sighed and looked to the clock, it wasn't even seven o'clock yet… Oh well, the nurses would wake him up when they came in to remove Prussia's stitches. Yawning, he nestled himself into the chair he was in and fell asleep too.

()()()

"Stop squirming, eh." The nurse removing Prussia's stitches chastised. Prussia just snorted and continued to resituate himself, regardless of how difficult he was making the woman's job. "Sir, please. I can't take them out if you won't sit still." Grunting irritably, Prussia finally settled down and watched the woman work. It was rather strange to him that she used a blunt pair of oddly-shaped scissors to relieve his skin of the unattractive-looking threads. Wouldn't it make more sense to use sharpened ones? Something told him this would have been a stupid question to ask and so he refrained.

Finishing the three healed cuts on Prussia's arm, the nurse reviewed the note doctor Stoughton had left her and moved on to the few on Prussia's chest. She wondered if things like this happened all the time given the copious scars that covered the albino's skin. Maybe he was in the army? Or perhaps he was a stuntman? He certainly was attractive enough to be in the movies, if only he had a better personality.

Sighing, she looked back to the note, his other arm only had deep cuts on it and their stitches were to be removed tomorrow. She cringed, however when she saw where she had to remove the _next_ set of stitches.

"Sir," Prussia looked to her, his face flat with boredom. "can you please move the waistband of your boxers down? I need to remove the stitches at your hip."

The albino smirked at her and did just that, "You know, dey coult keep moofing if you only zait de _vort_." he quirked his eyebrow at her, his smirk widening to an attractive, crooked smile. The nurse coughed loudly off to the side and there was a noise from the sleeping Canada's direction.

"Hmm? W-What, eh?" Matthew looked tiredly around, his eyes settling on the nurse and a very irritated-looking Prussia. "What's got you bent out of shape now, eh?" he asked groggily, sitting up and cracking his back as the nurse got to work removing the stitches from Prussia's groin area.

"Noding." Prussia replied in a deep, dangerous voice that made the nurse jump. "Vhy don'd you goh back to schleep?" A white eyebrow twitched and Matthew looked to the nervous nurse and a certain hardening something near her hand.

Now, his first reaction was outrage, making him stand up, however, from his better perspective he saw she was but removing stitches. She had probably woken him up on purpose.

"It would be rude of me to fall back asleep."

"Id voult be efen ruter to schtay avake _now_."

"I think the young woman here has had enough of you harassing her." Matthew's eyes settled on the softening bulge in Prussia's boxers and his friend grumbled. The nurse sighed audibly and finished the set, asking Prussia to tug his boxers back up, which he did.

Consulting her note once more and moving right along to Prussia's legs, the nurse said not a word. Prussia just continued to glare at Matthew and the other nation sat down, regarding him solemnly.

()()()

It was about ten after nine by the time all the assigned stitches had been removed.

"Prussia, why must you harass anything that has a pair of breasts?" Matthew asked, leafing through a magazine that had been laying around.

"I belief de qvesdion ist, vhy _don'd_ you." Prussia poked the button to turn the over-head TV on, curious about what there was to watch in a hospital.

"Well, three things go into that. One, I respect them, they're people too, two, I'm committed to someone else, three, I'm gay."

"De only rezonable anzwer I zee in dere ist dat you ahre gay." Tipping his head to the side, the albino poked another button and skipped to a different channel.

Matthew made an amused noise, "Reason why you didn't have a meaningful relationship until quite recently." he flipped to another page. Urh… Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Strangely enough, Prussia didn't inquire and just continued to fiddle about with the television. "You're not going to find anything good on. The only things they have in the hospital are soap operas and the news channel."

Prussia looked to him, "News?"

"Local most of the time. The only news of any interest to us is the world news and most of the time we already know what's going on." Matthew looked up at the sound of Prussia madly pressing the channel button, quirking an eyebrow at his strange interest. "What are you doing?"

"Hoping you ahre wrong aboud vheder or nod dey hef vorlt news hier." Prussia kept clicking until he seemed to come upon something that interested him. "Hey, I fount zomeding."

"Oh? What?" Matthew stood and straightened out his clothes, walking over and sitting in the uncomfortable chair next to the bed. It wasn't like the channel was live or anything, it was just going over world events of the last few days.

"I ditn'd know _Westen_ und Italy hat poor trate relations." Matthew blinked, he didn't know that either… Did something happen? Reaching out and turning it up he listened to the news report with interest. "Ist dis zomeding new?" Prussia looked to Matthew questioningly, seeing him nod he turned back to the television and listened as well.

According to what the report was saying, the two nations, after some misgivings on Italy's part and some misunderstandings on Germany's, Germany was setting up a short-lived trade embargo until the whole mess was cleared up. Unfortunately for both of the nations, there was no benefit to be had for either of them. On the personal level of Ludwig and Feliciano, something had finally broken and Germany was right pissed about it.

"Vhat dit de liddle fag do to _Westen_?"

"It's complicated and I don't have the whole story. They've been having some ongoing trouble for a couple months. I guess Italy finally did something _very_ stupid."

"I doughd you zait dat _Westen_ loft Italy."

"Well, he does…" Prussia looked at him for a moment, his eyebrow climbing up his forehead.

"_Und_? Dere has to be more to id…"

"I don't even know the whole story myself but… After making amends after the second world war the two chose to enter a relationship with one another-"

"Be faggods?"

Giving him an annoyed glance, Matthew sighed, "Yes, 'be faggots'."

"Jus' checking."

"Right, anyway, they entered a relationship. A very loving one at that I assure you, but Italy got dreadfully sick a number of months back…" Now was where Matthew was unsure of the story, things had been admittedly murky when Ludwig told him about the problem, he had never even gotten him to tell him the full extent of the problem and hence was unsure of it. "They just haven't had the same relationship since."

"Vhat vas dis… 'zickness'?"

"It wasn't some sort of STD if that's what you're thinking."

"Ez-tee-dee?" Prussia questioned, dubious about this strange word.

"A sexually transmitted disease."

"Oh, und noh, dat's nod id. I know ve cahn'd tranzmid dizeazes betveen ourzelfs und humans. I vant to know vhat de zickness vas caust by." He honestly wanted to know the politics of it? Well, that was a funny thing about Italy's sickness…

"We don't know. He just suddenly came down with flu-like symptoms. Said he didn't want Germany to catch it since it didn't appear normal, so he told him to stay away… He got better two weeks later and he seemed normal, but somehow he hasn't been the same according to Ludwig."

Prussia was pensive, his brow furrowed in his handsome way in thought. It wasn't often this face came, each time Matthew was graced with it it made him want to take pictures of it for lonely nights. Unfortunately, every time he brought out his phone or something to do so Gilbert would look at the camera with a face of "_was_" and would totally ruin everything. However, he was honestly giving thought to the problem, it would have been out of character if this Prussia were not as serious as he was. He had some of Gilbert's whimsicality (clearly) but he was somewhat more of a no nonsense version.

"I cahnnod zay vhat id coult hef been. Schpecks hat zomeding similar vonce, bud he vas no dif'rnd afdervorts." Well, that was new information. Why hadn't Gilbert told him about it? Maybe he had encountered it again sometime in the unknown area of Prussia's memories and therefore dismissed it as something that didn't matter. Or maybe Gilbert just hadn't wanted to say anything to his brother or him…

"Really? Austria did?" While Prussia still thought it relevant, Matthew was going to try, "What was it like then?"

The albino's eyes floated to the ceiling as he thought, eventually they stared off at nothing as he found himself lost in memory, "_Ja_, id schtardet aboud two veeks before de schtard of de _Bruderkrieg_, he vas… Fery irridable fur de firsd veek. Den, fur anoder veek he hat fomiding und hyschteria. He schvedet und grippt ahd de scheeds of his bet und _moant_ ahz if he vere hefing sex. Bud obfiously more painful den dat." a pause as he collected his thoughts again, "He schreamt dings I ditn'd unterschtant und… I dink id vas von of de few times zeeing him miserable ditn'd make me heppy." He was so far off in his memory that he seemed mesmerized, he was standing next to Roderich's bed as he panted, moaned, _screamed_ in the throes of his waking nightmares brought on by his sickness.

Matthew didn't want to say anything for fear of breaking his concentration on the memory. He jumped when Prussia eventually sighed and rested his head back on his pillow, "Ve doughd he vas going to die acdually. Id vas zoh bat… Bud, he god bedder, und vhen he dit, he vas schtark, rafing mat. De var began direcdly afder dat, acding ahz if none of id hat efer happant."

"Are you sure the sickness wasn't brou-"

"Noh, id vasn'd how he normally reacdet to schtress. Dis vas zutten und sefere efen if it _coult_ hef been linkt to schtresses before de var, none of dem vere _dat_ bat."

"Unexplained nation sickness… Well, let's hope Italy didn't give it anyone else. It might actually hurt one of us… Germany said Italy has been different since recovering, so I guess one of us already had been."

"I doubd id's de zame zickness. _Deutscher Krieg_ vas in 1866. Too close fur id to hef any relation." Prussia waved him off and went back to watching the news. Though, it was of less interesting content by then. As he watched, Matthew debated with himself upon whether or not to mention this to Germany. Sure, his problems with Italy were none of his own business, but after being so rude to Germany he could afford to at least give him some new information. In the end, he chose to send it as a second video file tomorrow if Ludwig didn't pick up for his report again. And if he did, hey, he could always slip it into conversation afterwards, somehow.

"You tired at all?"

"Noh. Goh back to schleep. You're irridading."

"How?"

"Your foice ist angering." Canada quirked his brow at him, they had just had a serious talk a few minutes ago and he was back to not liking him.

"I really wish you would make up your mind?"

"Make id up on vhat?"

"Whether or not you're going to like me."

"I don'd. Dere."

Canada sighed, "I don't think you seem to get it. You said 'what are friends for' earlier. If you don't like me, you can't call me your friend."

"You're nod, I jus' doughd id zuidet de momend." Prussia shrugged and started ignoring him in favor of the television.

"You can't use sayings like that if they don't apply to us."

"Okay den! Ve're freunds! Vhat vill id take to schud you up zoh I cahn vatch de damn news?" Matthew blinked at him for a second, astonished.

"You're sending me some damn mixed-signals here. Why can't you talk like-"

"Because I don'd _vant _to talk righd now!" Prussia cut the blonde off, his anger beginning to flare into his eyes. By the tensing Matthew could see, the albino was going to get physical if he kept pushing him. So, how about a more calm approach as Matthew didn't want to re-injure his finally, completely healed face.

"Okay, Prussia," Matthew started calmly, "honestly think for a second. Other than to get me to shut up and leave you alone, why did you say we are friends?"

"Because you ahre a nation und de only von arount like me, dough ahre nowhere _near_ ahz awezome. You are schtupid bud kint und you ahre amuzing ahd times." That had been surprisingly easy…

"Oh… Then why do you find me annoying?"

Prussia stared at him for a bit, his scrutiny so harsh Matthew felt like squirming beneath it, "Efryding aboud you ist annoying. I'm unsure vhy, bud you ahre." The twinkle of distain entering Prussia's gaze told the Canadian that there was something that wasn't being said. It made his skin crawl to think of what could have been going within the man's head. It made him slightly fearful too. It seemed most of Prussia's inner ideas about him were anything but pleasant.

"How… Nice to know your opinion of me." he replied nervously, feeling his guts slipping away from him.

"Awezome istn'd id?"

"N-Not exactly what I'd call it."

"Vhat dit you zay?" Prussia hissed and Matthew timidly backed away, dipping his head slightly before responding, "N-nothing."

"I zoughd zoh." his "friend" sniggered to himself, knowing he had successfully cowed him. "Now goh zid ofer dere und leaf me alone."

"O-Okay." Getting up from his chair, Matthew fled to the more comfortable one away from Prussia, snuggling into it and wishing he had Kumajirou with him. Maybe he would be able to get Gilbird from Prussia's head, but the bird was long asleep, comfortably nested in Prussia's shock of white hair.

Giving Prussia one last longing look he turned away and took a deep breath, repeating internally his new mantra for night "don't cry". The released breath was decidedly shakier than what he was going for. It hadn't been that long and he was already losing it. Losing what exactly? The last thing beneath all pain and suffering in Pandora's box, hope.

()()()

Shifting in the chair, Matthew was not yet ready to face another day of Prussia, not yet ready to face any day actually. It was just a bad morning for his mood. Moaning tiredly and fixing the glasses on his face he had failed to remove the night before, he sat more upright in the chair, feeling warm skin brush his. Humming with curiosity at first, he opened his eyes and looked down at the man expected. Prussia was sitting on his knees on the hard tiled floor, his front end (his head sitting atop his drool-coated arms) was sitting next to Matthew's thigh in the chair.

"We have to stop meeting like this, Gil." Matthew said with a sigh, playing with his lover's hair while being careful not to disturb the sleeping bird that was looking fuzzier. "At least we get to leave today." He twined a lock around his finger, smiling at the way his hair shone. Gilbert's hair was so beautiful, his whole self was beautiful, oh God how he missed simple daily touches. In fact, he was pretty sure he missed playing with Prussia's hands, running his fingers through his hair and tiny kisses more than he missed having sex. And he missed having sex _a lot_. "I still love you, you know that right? I mean… I'm not sure if you'll be back soon or not, but if you ever _do_ come back, I'll always love you." Of course he kept his voice quiet and he stroked the shining silver hair some more. "You probably would think I'm being stupid. Already saying things like that when you haven't been gone for a week. Well, I'm sorry, I guess I can't live without you for that long." A small giggle escaped him when he imagined what Gilbert would have said to that. "Yeah, you're just that awesome… I'm a little bit of a wuss too I guess…"

The man beneath his fingers stirred then and he quickly took back his hand sitting it in on his legs, watching Prussia struggle into consciousness.

"Vhat in… Vhy ahm I," Prussia looked up and made eye-contact with Matthew before hatred distorted his beautiful features and he thrust himself to his feet. "Vhy ahm I ofer _hier_?" the growl was dangerous and made Matthew curl up just a little bit.

"I-I'm sorry. I woke up and you were already there. I swear I didn't do anything…" There was a tense moment as Prussia glared down at Matthew, deciding whether or not he was truly innocent.

"Vhatefer." he snorted and turned around, cracking his back. "_Mein Gott_." He cracked it again, making a satisfied noise before stretching. "Vhere ist de damn docdor? He zait I vas gedding oud of hier totay und my cuds ahre ahll healt."

"Be patient, Prussia." Matthew mumbled, standing up from his chair and feeling the state his stomach was in. Damn, he was hungry… "I'll be back soon, I'm going to get myself some breakfast."

"Vhat aboud me? Efer doughd dat-"

"I'm not in charge of your food. You can wait for the nurses to bring you something, eh." The blonde wasn't having any of his nonsense this morning and simply left, leaving Prussia to stare after him.

"Jerk." Prussia hissed, stepping over to his bed and sitting down on it. With nothing better to do, he examined his conscience, it was pulsing low-grade irritation, but mostly grogginess. Grunting that he could somewhat agree with it, he plopped back onto his bed and stared at the tiles on the ceiling, wondering what they were made of. He wondered what a great deal of things were made of in here, actually.

As he stared, he heard the door open, sighing irritably, he sat up and looked at the person making their way over to him. It was the strawberry-blonde doctor Stoughton making his morning rounds. Maybe he could get him some food.

"Good morning, eh." The doctor greeted, yawning into his hand. Most likely he had just arrived to the land of wakefulness as well. "How're you feeling?"

"Cahn I ged dese oud?" Prussia motioned to the now unneeded stitches in his skin and the doctor looked him over.

"Yes," he said with a satisfied tone, "I will send a nurse in here to remove them. After some paper work has been sorted through you should be all good to leave, eh." Prussia grinned, he couldn't _wait_ to leave this place. When Stoughton turned his back to leave, marking something down on Prussia's chart, Prussia asked, "Cahn I hef zome foot dis morning?" The doctor stopped and looked at him over his shoulder, whatever he had been thinking about prior must not've been too flattering because of the contempt that had worked its way into Stoughton's eyes. "Sure," he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I'll send someone in for you soon. Have a nice day, eh." With that, the doctor continued his retreat from the room, closing the door after him.

"Vhat vas _his_ problem?" Prussia shrugged and turned the television on. Drat that there was no news on, but what was this strange thing happening on the TV… Someone sweeping a broom in front of some large, sliding rock… People were all yelling at one another as they slid effortlessly down what looked to be an ice floor (which Prussia thought impossible, given that it was March). Sweeping and screaming, the stone slid onto what looked to be a giant bull's-eye, many other rocks currently occupying the space it was headed for. The sweepers stopped sweeping as the rock slammed into the other rocks and knocked a few that were of a different color off the bull's-eye… People cheered at this strange happening and Prussia tipped his head to the side curiously. At least he had found something to watch that was interesting!

()()()

When Canada returned to the room, he couldn't help but stop and stare. There was Prussia, on the bed, stitches half out with his nurse sitting next to him. No, that wasn't the weird part, the weird part was that they were both staring at the screen with a look of intense concentration. What the hell were they doing? Figuring that he should investigate, he made to walk over to them but nearly had a heart attack when they both simultaneously said "Damn it!" (or "Damn id" in Prussia's case).

"You schtupit dumbarsch!" Prussia started.

"How could you miss that, eh?" The nurse finished angrily. And then Canada knew exactly what they were doing.

"You're watching curling aren't you?" He asked with a smile and Prussia looked over to him.

"_Dat's_ vhat id's callt?"

"Yep, fun game, eh?" Prussia nodded curtly before looking back to the screen with the nurse. Gilbert was a fan of curling too, except usually when they watched he was even _more _enthusiastic and he had a beer in hand that sometimes stained the couch. For a man like him, one would figure him more of a rugby guy or pro-wrestling, perhaps boxing. But no, he liked curling, didn't care much for hockey, but he watched it for Matthew's sake and of course he loved the timeless classic of soccer. Lord only knew what was going to happen when Prussia discovered the only sport Gilbert ever grew fanatical about. "Nurse?"

She looked over to Canada questioningly.

"Shouldn't you be removing his stitches instead of watching curling?" She jumped and started to blush along with some stuttering. Canada lifted a hand and waved, "It's alright." Nodding, she began to remove the last remains of Prussia's stitches, all the while dealing with Prussia's yelling at the television and movements.

And, of course, once all the stitches were out, the three of them sat there and watched the conclusion of the match. Much yelling and gesticulation ensued.

The door opened amongst all this and the doctor looked in to find the three of them just having a gay old time, "Nurse." The woman jumped again and looked over to regard him with some level of fear. "What are you doing, eh?"

"Uhm…"

"Slacking off?" The nurse started stuttering again, her face turning red as she quickly gathered up the things she needed to throw away.

"Oh, c'mon Rick, we asked her to watch with us." Doctor Stoughton quirked his eyebrow at Matthew, he was sticking up for her? "Be that as it may, she should have refused, eh." The nurse continued to scramble around finishing up her duties before leaving the room. "So, hello all. How're we all feeling now?"

"Panzy, leaf de room. Ve're vatching a game." Matthew smacked Prussia's arm giving him a look of "behave" before he looked over to Fredrick. It was odd that Frederick hadn't mentioned to him earlier that he was Prussia's attending doctor. Prussia shoved him away and concentrated on the end of the game.

"Hello, by the way." Matthew said, looking back at Prussia for a moment.

"Hello, Matthew." Prussia looked up at the familiarity in his voice, not the least bit trusting of any human that talked to a man they knew to be a nation in such a way. At least earlier the doctor had called him "Mr. Beilschmidt" why didn't he extend at least _that_ same courtesy to Canada by calling him Mr… What was Canada's last name again? Hm… Prussia supposed Canada had never told him, anyway, it didn't matter, the _human_ didn't have the right to call him by his first name, what a shady fellow. "And hello to you Mr. Beilschmidt, ready to get out of here, eh?"

Prussia snorted and looked at him, "I tolt you, id's _Prussia_." he narrowed his eyes at him before slowly turning to look back to the television.

"Right, Prussia…" Stoughton winked at Matthew and Matthew found himself blushing. Did he think Prussia was insane or something? That might have hindered their ability to leave if the doctor thought him mentally unstable. Which, he was, but not in the way the doctor might assume.

"I zaw dat. Vhat vas _dat_ z'post to mean?" the nation looked back to him, his eyes narrowed again, something wasn't right here.

"Nothing, nothing." Stoughton laughed, waving him off. "Mr. _Prussia_, you should be all set to leave in about an hour. See, you didn't even have to wait until noon, eh."

"Vhy're you talking dat vay?" Prussia pushed the television aside and stood, staring at him.

"I'm going to ask you to please sit back down, sir." Stoughton took a few steps back and Matthew regarded Prussia with curiosity.

"You _know_ id's impolide to refer to a nation by _name_… Vhy do you do zoh hier vid Canada?" Frederick looked back to Matthew for support, a look of "what's he talking about?" on his face.

"Gilbert, sit down and shut up."

"Noh, he _knows_!" Prussia turned back to Stoughton and hissed, getting into his face, "Vhat ahre you hiting?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, eh!" Frederick backed up, fear and confusion alive in his eyes.

"Gilbert! Sit the hell down!" Matthew inserted himself between Prussia and Frederick, staring down into the glistening red orbs. The pair stood there and stared at one another for a good two minutes before Prussia eventually spat into Matthew's face and sat down on the bed, crossing his legs and glaring at Frederick.

Sighing, Matthew wiped the saliva off his face, turning to regard Frederick and trying to ignore the glare at the human.

"I'm sorry, he's… Really overzealous at times. It's just a bit worse because he hit his head, you see." Stoughton nodded hesitantly, looking around Matthew's shoulder to Prussia before looking back to him. "Just uhm… Forget that ever happened?" Matthew gave him a sweet, nervous smile.

"It's all good… I'll uhm… I'll alert the front desk that you'll be checking out soon, okay?" Matthew nodded and Frederick left as if he had dogs biting at his heels.

Now was what Matthew had been dreading, he rounded on Prussia, fury very alive in his eyes, "What was that?"

"He really does know, Canada. He's hiting id."

"Human's don't know we exist!"

"Dey vill if you keep yelling." Prussia said, obviously past wanting a real fight. Taking a deep breath, Matthew sighed and tried to calm down.

"Alright… The only humans that know of our existence work for the government. Not these poor town's folk, okay? Frederick probably think's we're both totally nuts now." Matthew massaged his forehead in despair. He was going to have to alert someone to this if _someone_ hadn't already been watching. And if certain parties had been watching he was going to be pissed as he told them private matters between Prussia and he were off limits.

"You know him?" the albino asked, interest coloring his voice.

"Yes, I met him at a night club around here." _I think that's where I met him anyway…_ It was true Matthew was still very fuzzy on where exactly he had first met Frederick, it was possible he had met him at the same place… He shrugged it off, it wasn't important.

"He knows ve're nations. Und he's hiting id from you. I voult zuggesd dat you keep an eye on him. You nefer know vhat he coult vant from you."

"He's human, even if he did know."

Prussia shrugged, "De vay you hef referrt to gofernmends, dough few times, you make it zount like dey holt your balls in dere hants." Now that Matthew thought about it, they basically did. But, it was a nations duty to _advise_ his government, not lead it. "Noh rezponze?"

"Prussia, you don't even know what the world is like now. You don't know anything."

"I may nod remember much of vhat you vant me to, bud I am noh itiot." Matthew nodded in agreement, he couldn't exactly argue with that. "Und I zay dat Frederick guy istn'd telling you efryding you schoult know."

"Prussia, drop it. He's a doctor in this relatively small city."

"Vhatefer you zay. Bud don'd come crying to me vhen he fucks you ofer." Nothing further on the topic was discussed and they moved on. Moved on as in, they got what little crap they had together (Canada had had the sense of mind to grab a set of clothes for Prussia before leaving the house yesterday). He gave the clothes to him and Prussia slipped them on, not bothering to button the top few buttons the on the white shirt. So it had _always _been a thing of his not to. Hm, didn't tuck in his shirt and never bothered to button all the buttons. Oh well, it wasn't like they were at a meeting or anything.

Oh, damn, the meeting tomorrow. Matthew moved his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose in thought. Well, even though it wasn't how he did things, he realized what he was going to have to do. His ass was just going to have to go flying by the seat of its pants the whole meeting long. It was certainly going to be fun.

()()()

Not wanting Prussia to figure out exactly how to get back to the house, once in the car (and when Prussia wasn't paying attention as he was busy examining said car) Matthew stabbed a syringe with a small amount of M99 contained within into Prussia's bicep. He didn't even have enough time to feel the pain before his head whacked into the dashboard of the car, totally unconscious.

On second thought, maybe he shouldn't have used something so powerful, but hey, he wanted him _out_. Although, he probably was going to get beat up for it later in retrospect… Oh well, he was the one with the syringe.

()()() Finally back at the house (Prussia slung over Matthew's back) the Canadian deposited the albino on the couch as he continued to snooze away. Looking to the clock he discovered it was only noon on yet another rainy day. Well, he had only cleaned that one room and perhaps it would be good to do a bit of dusting as the house hadn't been used in a terrible long time before they all had arrived…

Smiling at deciding upon what to do, he found his usual handkerchief, tied his hair back, put on his rubber gloves and apron before finding his duster and getting to work.

It was quite surprising to him that he had put off doing battle with the dreaded dust bunnies of the various book shelves for so long. Usually the first thing he did upon arriving at this house with Gilbert was clean it. Nobody liked a loving and romantic evening ruined by constant sneezing and unexplainable spots on the wall. This would also be a good time to take stock of the books that had gotten blood on them now that it he thought about it.

All at once he was a magical tornado of clean, nothing of filth, unsanitary particle or allergen was left standing by the time he had made his way to the other end of the room. Every surface of wood (including the floor, even the grotesque black spot) was practically sparkling. One would think this Germany's home if they didn't know any better. It made Matthew giggle, he had everything Germany did, practically. An old house with new things here and there among the traditional ones, pets that loved him (or at least depended upon him), sparkling clean wood, a fool who made a mess of a lot and a certain freeloading albino they loved. However, in Matthew's case, the trouble-maker and the freeloader were one in the same. Oh, but it had been but one room! There was more joy to be had elsewhere in the house! And once he had finished everything with wood flooring he could take out the vacuum! Hm… Maybe he wasn't totally finished with the room though, the fireplace was filled with ashes from the other night and doubtlessly some ashes would escape and he would have to dust and sweep this room once more. No problem!

"_Kein Problem_!" Matthew merrily chirped, remembering how Gilbert had mocked him once when describing the joys of cleaning to him. Scurrying off to the storage room, he pulled out a large tarp and laid it out in front of the fireplace before grabbing the ash shovel from the rack next to the opening. Quickly scooping and shoving the ash out of the place onto the tarp he made quick work of it all. Gathering up the corners of the tarp, he flung it over his shoulder, almost laughing as some puffs of grey escaped the open parts. Deciding upon a place to dump it, he walked into the front room to see Prussia sitting up, wow, the M99 wore off quick. "Hey there sleepy head." Prussia looking up, he knew he probably shouldn't have said anything because it took mere milliseconds for red-hot anger to boil up into the frightening red eyes. "Uhm… I have a tarp full of ash so can thi-"

"Ragh!" The Prussian tackled him to the floor, sending a veritable mushroom cloud of ash into the air (it was also an effective smokescreen). The smokescreen effect was lost however as Prussia already had his hands around Matthew. They rolled and tussled on the floor, both of them constantly working to be the one on top. Prussian fists struck out at the Canadian body and missed every time as both parties were actually quite blind and most of this was just random flailing about and sneezing in the heavy cloud of grey. "Holt de fuck schtill!"

"Stop trying to punch me, eh!"

"Noh!" More strikes and rolls over on the dusty ground flew up even more ash making things all the more difficult. Now, during all this, Matthew had somehow or another managed to get Prussia into a headlock and he was violently flailing for release.

"Ha!"

"Oh _yeah_?" Prussia did a quick side-roll and flipped Matthew over his shoulder so the Canadian was laying on his back, prostrate before Prussia, him looming over the boy's head. As the ash settled down over the rest of the room and in their hair, they stared at each other for a long few moments, neither totally sure about what the fight had been about. But the trance was quickly broken by Matthew getting up and with a playful smile, tackling Prussia back to the ground. "Hey!" And now a new fight began. This one a mere parody of their previous one. Laughs and grunts were a part of this one as well as playful quips on the Canadian's part. Prussia merely responded with his usual insults and attacks, not actually aiming to hurt him this time.

Well, all this carried on for about ten more minutes until the chuckling ball of testosterone went careening into a doorframe. Okay, the _albino_ knocked his head into a doorframe, but hey, details, details. Prussia sat up and rubbed his head, sneezing and coughing a little bit at the inhaled ash.

Matthew chose this moment to look about the room, some things were knocked over from their roughhousing but nothing had been broken, of course. The biggest thing though was all the ash on everything. Sure, yes cleaning was fun, but when you had to pick up every last little thing sitting around and clean it off, it was then irritating. Sighing, Matthew stood up and scratched his head, wondering just where in the room to start.

"Wow, vhat a mess." Prussia commented, standing up as well and brushing some filth off his white-now grey-shirt (which of course didn't accomplish much). "Hef fun." Prussia slapped Matthew on the shoulder before shaking some more of the ash from his hair and walking into the kitchen, tracking it all behind him. Typical man… Matthew did little more than smile and locate the vacuum.

Feeling lucky that the ash had been far enough away from the couch to avoid covering it completely, he used his duster to sweep as much dust as he could off the surfaces in the room (without saying, pictures and little curios atop the main display shelves in the room would have to have special care taken on them later).

Just as he got the vacuum fired up and he began to undo some of the chaos, Prussia walked by, a sandwich on a plate along with a glass of ice tea that Matthew wasn't sure had been brewed. And shit that he didn't see the cord. It was all in slow-motion… Prussia getting his look of "oh fuck" on his face, the sandwich flying off the plate and the tea slipping out of the albino's hand. The glass contacted the carpeted floor and didn't break (as was expected), but the sweet liquid inside swiftly assaulted the carpet with brutal efficiency. Oh but what of the sandwich? Prussia looked up to see it coming back down and thought fast. Doing a move similar to the worm, he wiggled forward and caught the falling sustenance in his teeth with a proud grunt. Standing up he grinned haughtily to Matthew before taking a bite and looking very proud of himself indeed.

Matthew just stared at what was going to definitely be a new stain on the carpet. Turning off the vacuum he looked straight at Prussia.

Noticing the man's look, Prussia jumped, more out of surprise than anything, "Vhat?" There was no answer and Prussia found a chill arching up his spine. His conscience was absolutely terrified… "Hm, I dink I vill goh-" "Get a rag and clean it up."

"How aboud-"

"No. Get a rag, clean it up. The Nature's Miracle is underneath the sink in there."

"Bu-"

"Prussia!"

"Okay!" And the albino quickly fled to the kitchen to retrieve what it was he was ordered to, stuffing the rest of the sandwich down his greedy gullet. Returning with his two items, Matthew was already vacuuming again, had ran over the tea with his vacuum in an attempt to remove the ash from over it so it didn't grind into the dark-colored carpet. Grumbling, Prussia got onto his knees and pressed the rag into the carpet, absorbing the tea right quick but a darker spot still remained and he looked at the strange bottle he had been told to use. Opening it and dumping a little of the clear liquid into the carpet, he began to scrub. It got to the point where he was doubled over, examining the spot, it was difficult to tell if the carpet was still stained or if it was just wet. It went without saying as he did this his butt was just up in the air.

Matthew had to stop vacuuming he was so distracted. What a nice, round ass he had. Even if it were Gilbert instead of Prussia, he never had the guts to do anything remotely near smacking it. Though, it wasn't as if the thought had never crossed his mind. He just had never been too keen on finding out what the albino's reaction would be.

Prussia suddenly started chuckling evilly and wiggling his butt. In actuality it was just because he thought he finally had the stain beat. Matthew was just sexually beside himself though, Prussia had no idea what he was doing to him. Looking down he grimaced at the erection forming in his pants, it was mocking him it was! Unfortunately, he couldn't just leave the filth be so he just hoped Prussia wouldn't notice any time soon. So, to avoid this, he picked up his pace with the vacuuming until his back was to Prussia.

"Does dis look clean to you?" Prussia asked and Matthew sighed, well, it was bound to happen before too much longer anyway. Or maybe he could prolong it just a _little_ bit longer. He looked over his shoulder at the stain that Prussia stood over.

"It's clean." And it was, thank God it wasn't something that needed to be really examined. Hey, wait a second, where'd Prussia go? Matthew's head whipping around the room for any sign of him, he quickly grew irritated. He completely buggered off! "Prussia! Get in here!" A loud chuckle came from the upstairs and Matthew knew he wasn't getting him down to clean for all the five dollar whores in the world.

Closing his eyes and envisioning happier times, Matthew sucked it up and got back to cleaning. Gilbert usually never helped him clean anyway. Even after their food fights (or any other whimsical fight they had) he never stuck around to clean. Hundreds of bad things happened to him in his life and never learned to appreciate a good clean house. Finally opening his eyes he tried to find the joy in cleaning this mess; but thinking about the rest of the house that still needed to be cleaned without Gilbert to relieve him later, all it did was make his back ache.

()()()

A dull throbbing started after a solid hour of cleaning. Matthew groaned and rubbed the small of his back, Prussia sitting on the couch in the book room and watching television. He figured he was also drinking a beer and quite possibly ruining the upholstery on the couch. _That_ room still needed a once through as well to clean up the remains of the ash upon initially cleaning it. Walking out to the front porch, he jumped off it and headed to the side of his house where the compost pile was, dumping (hopefully) the last vacuum container of ash into it.

A few things back inside still had a light dusting on them, but he brought those into the kitchen and cleaned them with a rag over the sink. A picture of Francis and he, another of Alfred, Arthur being subdued under his arm as Alfred grinned, flashing the peace sign. China and Korea were even present among this collection of pictures, right next to Cuba eating a cone of ice cream.

As he cleaned, Matthew began to find it odd that he never displayed pictures of himself and Gilbert together. He _had_ a picture of Gilbert, _a_ picture, a candid one he didn't know that was being taken. Picking this copy of it up off the pile of things yet to be cleaned he contemplated it. The actual picture was at his home in his office, but it was the only picture he had of Gilbert that wasn't on any of his cameras.

He was sitting back in a chair on the front porch of the house in Ottawa, a cigarette dangling lazily from his mouth as he stared off, lost in memory. The sky was painted in bursts of reds and oranges, purples in darker places, typical of late sunset. Frowning, he put the picture down after cleaning the dust from it and pulled a bag of weed from his back pocket. Staring at the bag he knew exactly what he wanted to do. Smiling slightly, he took a large bowl out of the cabinet and started warming up the oven. Now, to ask the real question of day. No, it wasn't whether or not to completely forget about cleaning for baking; but, in fact, it was, brownies or cookies?

()()()

Why was there no sound of cleaning? No vacuum, dust or groan? Damn, just when he was considering intervening. But, he didn't like being alone. _Might as well just go see what he's doing_. Prussia stood and straightened out his clothes, this was definitely an endeavor worth pursuing. _And what the fuck?_

Shaking his head he left the room, staring back at it, there were too many poetry books in there he decided. Did Canada even read poetry? Shrugging he walked into the kitchen, finding a pile of framed photos stacked haphazardly on the table and Matthew using an eggbeater on something in a bowl.

"Vhat's dat?" Matthew stopped and looked over his shoulder to him, looking especially feminine with flour smeared on his cheek. His eyes dropping to half open, he looked back to his bowl and kept beating it, reaching out with his other hand and throwing a fistful of green into it… "Ahre you baking zomeding vid _veed_ ihn id?" Matthew nodded and kept beating. "Vhat ahre you making dough?"

"Chocolate-chip cookies." Tweaking an eyebrow, Prussia walked over and stuck his finger into the mixture, "Hey!" Matthew wrenched the bowl away from the greedy man and glared at him. "What do you think you're doing, eh?"

"Tasding dem." Prussia replied shamelessly, licking the mixture off his finger.

"They're not cooked yet."

"Zoh?" He reached again to put his finger back, Matthew making a face of wondering where exactly his head was at. Backing away with the bowl again, he turned off the egg beaters and laid it aside. Prussia's face darkened as Matthew gave him a challenging look. Prussia just snorted and grabbed Matthew's arm, yanking him forward and bashing him in the head with his own. Wrenching the bowl out of Matthew's arms, Prussia chuckled "Kesesesese", dipping a finger into the bowl and licking it clean again.

Matthew, dazed and confused on the floor, rolled onto his side wondering just what in the world had happened. Staring blankly at the space beneath the table, he felt tears drip from his eyes as Prussia just continued to "kesesese" to himself and eat the cookie dough.

"Ah… Ahre you _crying_?" He asked, stopping mid-suck of the finger. When he received no reaction, he knelt down next to him and watched the tears silently flow down his face. A dull throb started in the back of his conscience, a throb of guilt that stimulated pain in the back of his head. Shaking it off, he offered the bowl to Matthew who took it and pulled it close.

Suddenly, as if Hungary had appeared, a sharp pain smashed into the side of Prussia's head. Flooring him next to Matthew, gripping madly at his hair but sealing his mouth shut against the pain. Matthew sat up and stuck a finger into the bowl, putting a bit of the dough into his mouth and sitting the bowl back on the counter as Prussia writhed on the floor.

A sudden breath wracked his frame and Matthew knelt down next to him, rubbing his head as he ground his head into the floor. Memories couldn't be helped, but at least he wasn't remembering as much as the other day. He didn't have the nerves to deal with the screaming and violent thrashing. One final breath and Prussia went limp beneath him, oh, damn.

"Prussia?" Matthew gently shook his arm. "Prussia? Gilbert?" He shook him again and dragged him off the ground, turning him over onto his back and laying his head in his lap. His eyes were closed and tears had gathered at their corners. "Are you awake?" The red eyes slowly opened and he sat up, staring listlessly at the tile floor.

"Dey vere ahll zoh… How _coult_ dey…" He seemed incredulous, looking back at Canada. "Vhy dit dey… Dey _schtarft…_ _Vhy_?" Matthew gathered that Prussia had remembered some part of the naval blockade of Germany after the war. What surprised him though, was that Prussia cared about the state the humans were in, perhaps he was hungry too as he watched the humans go about their struggles.

"What did you exactly remember?"

"I vas valking arount, bruder hat been draggt ovf fur a meeding, I vas eading an ent of breat und ahz I vas valking, dere vas dis girl laying ihn ahn alley, sche vasn'd really looking ahd anyding ihn pardicular, jus' schtaring. Her eyes flickt up to de breat I hat ihn hant und I schtoppt… Sche jus' schtare't…" Prussia stopped and sighed, rolling his eyes at the memory, "I zaw sche vas schtarting to cry zoh I valkt ofer und I gafe her de breat. Sche zmilet ahd me und took id. Dat vas dat, I schtoot und valkt avay, my schtomach schtill hurding." Well, that still didn't explain why he was so nice to a human. Perhaps it was because she was young?

"How old was she?"

"Ten, elefen ahd de mosd." Matthew nodded, it had to have been because it was a child that had asked. The start of his sentimentality… Suffering as the humans did. Taking a deep breath and sighing he sensed Prussia was now in a bad mood, perhaps he too could benefit from some "medicated" cookies.

"How about I finish these," Matthew stood. "and we can drink some beer with them when they're done." Prussia stood too and looked down at him asking, "Vhy voult ve do dat?"

"Because it will make you feel better…"

"Who zait I vas in a bat moot?"

"Aren't you?"

"Noh, vhy voult I be?" Prussia grinned, strangely unaffected by such a depressing memory. Maybe he truly was out of touch with his emotions…

"Most people would be sad after that."

Prussia blew a raspberry at him, anger entering his voice, "Do I look like a liddle panzy Canada?"

"Maybe you are capable of pity."

"Pidy ist fur lozers."

"Which you were at the end of World War One." Prussia growled and snatched a picture frame from off the table and threw it at him. Matthew ducked and the picture sailed into the window above the sink, shattering right through it. Spitting at him, he turned and left the room, Matthew sheepishly getting back up and looking at the broken window. Well, where was a garbage bag?

Staring at his handiwork, he folded his arms over his chest and sighed. Hopefully they wouldn't have a storm. He doubted the duct tape would hold the flimsy bag in place if that happened. Along with that, the crappy bag he used would probably have been blown out too.

Finding his broom and sweeping all the glass up to throw away, he wondered which picture Prussia had thrown. Dumping out the glass, he walked over to the table and took stock. Hm, funnily enough, it appeared that he had thrown the only picture he was in out the window. He almost didn't even feel like going to look for it. But, he went looking anyway.

It was rather easy to find given the glass and frame were shiny, but the front was cracked and the moisture in the ground had stained the picture. Furrowing his brows he stared at the picture, the cracked countenance of the ruined photo.

_Might as well get used to it. _Trudging back into the house, he chucked the frame and its picture into the garbage. With all the force he could muster (which cracked the bowl) he spooned out all the dough onto the few cooking trays he had sitting out and shoved two into the oven.

He picked up the bowl and examined the crack in it and groaned, tossing the bowl over his shoulder and into the garbage can on top of the picture. His eyes flicked to the clock and found it was nearly three, slowly growing more frustrated another groan graced his vocal cords and he ran up the stairs to give his report.

()()()

Still grumbling, he typed in the number and waited for Germany to respond, tapping his fingers agitatedly on the desk. When the blonde didn't pick up yet again, Matthew prepared to leave a message.

"March Thirty-first, sixth day of Prussia's amnesia, hi Ludwig, sorry, I seem to have left another message with you not around… Uhm… I won't ask about what happened as I'm going to see you tomorrow. Maybe you're sleeping or something for the meeting I guess, or whatever, I don't know.

But, uhm, yeah, your brother… He's out of the hospital, but Russia dropped by for some impromptu visit, if you know anything about what's going on please tell me. Alfred says that it's all of Europe on about something top-secret and you're all against Russia. My boss hasn't told me anything and Alfred says his boss didn't want to tell him anything other than the bare minimum. If your boss hasn't told you anything yet, I suggest you ask him what's going on that has to do with Gilbert. This is some stupid crap." Matthew paused to think, what about Prussia was there to tell? "Oh, he's found curling… Yeah, again, I kinda don't want him to find out about soccer, there will be broken things in the house, well, broken things in greater volumes. He threw a picture frame at me and shattered my kitchen window, it now has a state-of-the-art trash bag pane with a frame of duct tape. But I seem to only talk about myself. He remembers some of the depression you guys went through after the first World War. Only issue is it's all out of context for him. He doesn't really understand the suffering or why he acts the way he did. I'm beginning to think that he's a totally independent personality. But I suppose there is hope since I've noticed a slight shift in personality. He also pronounces a few words different, his accent isn't as thick, well, it's still thick, but you know, closer to the thickness Gilbert's is at.

I really don't know how much more of him I can stand, Ludwig. I'm not exactly eating my words, but… Never mind. I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting, okay? Yes, I'm bringing Prussia with me so warn Austria and Hungary for me. Maybe France or Spain, but Spain can't really keep a secret so maybe just France…" Stopping to think and make sure he remembered everything he wanted to address, he nodded, "I got to go, I'm baking me some cookies. Yes, again, yes, it's that bad. Bye." He turned off the camera and sighed, this was positively miserable. It was the end of the day in Germany and it was only three in Canada, there was something drastically wrong here.

_Deep breath in!_ "Cookies…" Standing, he closed his laptop and left the room. Oh, shit… He'd left the other two sheets of unbaked cookies unattended… Dashing down the stairs (nearly tripping) he skidded to a stop in the kitchen, Prussia flat out on the floor giggling. "You… You ate them?" Matthew yelled, what made this all the worse was the beer in Prussia's other hand and the joint in the other. This was just downright substance abuse!

Prussia didn't even answer, he laughed and looked over at him, infuriating the Canadian all the more. Well, this certainly was the icing on the cake, for the second time that day he was crying. Crying under the ache of his depressive emotions, crying out of frustration, out of _hatred_!

"I hate you!" He screamed down at him, "I hate you, you stupid kraut!" Matthew found it stupid he was crying and raving like this over just a few minor things that happened that day. If any of these things had happened separate days, he wouldn't have cared. But they all had to happen _today_. The day before a meeting that caused him enough anxiety that he could vomit.

Prussia sat up and stared at him, when Canada had spoken those simple words, his conscience felt as if it had been stabbed. The pain he didn't understand flooded into his system, but was soon covered over by outrage. This bipolar emotional change only served to befuddle him ever the more, it was difficult the understand the meaning of the first, but even harder to understand the second. What did he care if Canada hated him? Yes, he understood Canada was a close friend of his conscience, so there was the pain… But what was the anger at?

Matthew turned away from him, wiping his eyes with his sleeve and walking over to put a mitt on his hand. He checked the cookies and surprisingly found that they were done. Yanking the tray out he sat it down on a rack he had set up and waited for the cookies to cool, keeping an eye on Prussia as he sat there still in a state of confusion. The Canadian was almost glad he had nothing to say to him, it only would have made him madder and made him feel worse for saying that.

After a good ten minutes, Prussia had stood, but he still was feeling the strange cocktail of pain and anger coming steadily from his conscience. The old man was very angry indeed but was not the least bit confused as he belted out the two very opposite emotions. He supposed though he had never had a _friend_ say they hated him before, nobody whose opinions he couldn't just blow off.

He saw Canada gingerly pick up a cookie scarf the whole thing in one bite, a second, he did the same. And a _third_.

"Cahn I hef von?" And suddenly the Canadian turned around in a giant whirl of anger, swallowing the contents of his mouth.

"I think you've had enough."

"Oh, come on, don'd be schtingy."

"You've abused your privileges enough today." His hand slipped back into his pocket, gripping something, Prussia backed up in case it was another hockey stick. "You don't need it."

"Und like you do?" He hissed in challenge.

Matthew's face went cherry red, "Yes! I do!" why was he so furious?

"Vhat? You neet to ged fadder or zomeding?" Prussia said with a chuckle.

"No, I need them because, guess what, my life sucks!" Feeling like a whiney bitch, Matthew elaborated, "It's obvious what you'll say to that, 'efryvon's life zucks' and you'll say something about the fact that you are dead, but! I am still alive and less people notice me! I can't tell you the amount of times in the past I thought about offing myself! How many times I've _tried_ and it didn't work! I've tried starving myself, drowning, I've even shot myself!" He pressed a finger to a place on his head covered by hair. "But it doesn't work… Whatever force that creates us nations doesn't care about the suffering we deal with. I'm not even talking about personal things anymore… When our people fight and die, we hear them screaming, a city is destroyed and a piece of us is gone as well… They gave us no out short of being destroyed by another nation who, most often times, will not do as you plead." Matthew looked away, sniffling, "So we medicate ourselves… _I_ medicate myself… On what, of course, you know…"

Disgust welled up in Prussia's stomach, how was _he_ supposed to be friends with _this_ pathetic thing? Wanting to leave his conscience wouldn't let him, it glued him to his place and begged a question he didn't find the relevance of, "Vhat aboud dis lofer of yours?"

Matthew laughed bitterly, narrowing his eyes at him, "The past week, they've been acting awful. As bad as you… I love them, but they're making it difficult."

"Zoh _dat's_ vhat your problem hes been!" Matthew blinked, not quite comprehending the tone of 'ah-ha' in Prussia's voice. Well, he was kind of high… "You'fe been down aboud dat. Und hier I jus' doughd dat you vere alvays ihn a bat moot." Prussia brought up his joint to his mouth and gave it a good drag before passing it to Matthew. Curious about the sudden good will, he took the joint and took a deep breath on it. "Now you zee, I know I'm z'post to be vid zomevon, bud I don'd know who. Und, id hes been eading ahd me." Matthew failed to see how their situations related, but if he was going to offer an olive branch, by God was he going to take it.

"So, we both have love problems." Matthew sighed, picking up a cookie and tossing it to him. Prussia caught it and bit into it, chewing it and looking it at a moment later… Damn these were good.

"_Ja_, you coult zay dat." Even Prussia wasn't sure why he was being so nice, but if he wished to get cookies, he would have to be.

Canada turned his back to him again, scraping the cookies off the trays and putting them into a jar he pulled out from a tiny cabinet above the sink. And Prussia felt as if he had been struck in the gut, disappointment tangled itself into the fading hurt and anger. It made Prussia purse his lips, not even sure what set off the feeling. The next chance he got he was asking the old man what the hell he was so upset about.

Turning to leave, he saw Canada put the jar away in the same cupboard he retrieved it from. Upon arriving at the doorframe to leave the kitchen, he stopped, another question itching at the back of his mind. It was a question so full of bitterness that even left a bitter taste in his mouth. But, not willing to withhold a question that could potentially gather more information he asked it, "If your life vas zoh horrible… _Ist_, zoh horrible… Vhat dit dat make me?"

Matthew didn't turn to face him, he just played with the bits of flour still laying on the counter. After about a minute of thinking he answered, "You were always a bright light in my life once we met. But my lover has been the only thing _really_ holding back my depression for the past five years. I'm hoping they'll come to their senses soon and stop acting so stupid. No offense Prussia." With that, Matthew went back to ignoring his presence, playing with the flour before deciding he needed to clean it up.

Something swelled in Prussia's chest and he felt truly awesome for a moment. Not that he didn't always feel awesome of course… Just… His conscience was pulsating it and pride over the underlying swirl of earlier emotions. If this was what the average person was supposed to go through every day while in touch with their emotion he certainly didn't want a part of it, "None taken. Bud you place too much heppiness on von ding."

"I do have other things to be happy about. But he is my Prozac." Matthew managed a smile, wiping the flour into the sink.

"Prozac?"

"It's an antidepressant."

"Oh… Who ist he?"

"I can't tell you that yet, maybe if you're a bit more well-behaved you'll learn something. Now leave, I have to clean." Prussia nodded and stepped out of the kitchen, "Oh, and one more thing," he paused and looked over his shoulder, "we have a meeting at five tomorrow morning, do well to get some sleep."

"Meeding?" he asked curiously, his brow tweaking.

"A world meeting, now-a-days we all get together to discuss issues and politics." Matthew started to soap up the cooking trays and wet them down for scrubbing.

"Bud I'm deat, vhy ahm I schtill infidet?"

"I don't know, you just always are." Oh, why not put him in a better mood still, "You're just that awesome."

"Kesesese, I zee. Ahd fife you zay? Vhen ahre ve leafing?"

"At one, the meeting is being held in Sweden's house. The meeting is at noon his time."

"Vhy de Svede's haus?"

"It's just where it was decided." Matthew shrugged and began to scrub. "Also, I'm tired of you always getting into my bed during the night, if you're going to end up there anyway, just use it."

"Fag."

"_Practical_." Matthew corrected, "Just do it, but if you don't, like I said, you'll end up there anyway."

Snorting, Prussia left the room and headed up the stairs to his bedroom. Matthew just took a deep breath and sighed. Everything was going to be okay, he had nothing to really be worried about… Oh, fuck, what was he saying, of course he did.

()()()()()

Notes:

Bruderkrieg/Deutscher Krieg-(Meanings are Brother War and German War) Took place in 1866 is referred to as the German Civil War and is also called the Austro-Prussian War, Unification War and Seven Weeks War, fought between the German Confederation under the leadership of the Austrian Empire and its German allies on one side and the Kingdom of Prussia with its German allies and Italy on the other, that resulted in Prussian dominance over the German states. In the Italian unification process, this is called the Third Independence War.

Curling-Sorry, I couldn't resist please don't beat me!

M99-If you watch Dexter you will know what this is, a semi-synthetic opioid possessing an analgesic potency approximately 1,000-3,000 times that of morphine. Etorphine is often used to immobilize elephants and other large mammals. Etorphine is only available legally for veterinary use and is strictly governed by law.

Kein Problem-No problem!

Naval Blockade of Germany-Conducted during World War I by the British Royal Navy from 1914 onwards, in an effort to restrict the maritime supply of raw materials and foodstuffs to Germany and its allies, and is considered one of the key elements in the eventual victory of the Allied Powers. The blockade continued even after the Armistice of 11 November 1918, in order to force Germany to sign the controversial Treaty of Versailles in June 1919. Over 750,000 German civilians are said to have died from starvation caused by the blockade during and after the War.

Canada's Frustration-Ever have just one of those days where nothing goes right? They're all just small things building up and by the end of it all you feel like you just want to kill someone? Yeah…

Okay! End of chapter, sorry it took so long, yeeg, when was the last time I updated? Also, sorry for the lengthiness of the chapter, sorry to say things have slowed down a bit but hey, everyone gets to see Prussia in the next chapter muwahahahahahaha. So, thoughts on Fred? Thoughts on Russia? Any guesses what's going on in general with everything? So many subplots, reason why this story is going to have a sequel. Oi. Anyway, happy Independence Day to my American readers, I'm gonna go blow stuff up in a few hours J


	11. Sun Doesn't Rise

Hey everybody, sorry the chapter is late, I've been working on my side project as well and well, some serious shit has been going down recently and it seems callous of me to be working on a fic when my friends are in pain, so yeah. Later than usual, but here it is. There has also been a great amount of distractions going on (one of them being the world's worst case of writer's block!) and I have been unable to get around to doing this, preferring to do shorter works rather than this really long and involved piece that requires only the utmost amount of attention.

Ahh! Gilbert's tickling my ear o0 (Gilbert is my pet rat btw) :D he's so cute, red eyes and all!

()()()()()

"_Sun doesn't rise at all  
__Who knows how far I'll fall  
__Sun doesn't rise at all  
__Welcome my downfall  
__Sun doesn't rise at all_

_Somewhere in this dying day as I plan my great escape  
__I find it hard to concentrate while you maintain control  
__I fold and falter, empty alter, all I gave I pray it makes me whole  
__I think the brink's around the corner  
__There's an error in my soul_"-Mushroomhead

()()()

Oh, why in hell did it have to be in _Sweden_? Couldn't Alfred have been annoying and pestered everyone into the meeting being at his house like he did the past ten times? Well… He supposed this was the exact reason why, how many nations in _Europe_ had to do this to get to the meetings? With that little bit of perspective, Canada sat up in bed, it was midnight and time to get up if he hoped to get ready and in his formal duds before one. At least Prussia hadn't been his _usual_ night self this evening, perhaps there was a bit of sense in his brain after all. He reached over in the total darkness and jostled the sleeping man's arm, knowing he would be there despite the bed being empty when he fell asleep at about four PM.

Prussia grumbled and rolled over, pulling the blanket with his naked self as he tried to deny waking. Well, another thing that hadn't changed in all his years, he woke with the sun, but trying to wake him personally achieved little.

"Prussia, get up, time to get ready for the meeting." Matthew sleepily moaned, yawning and shaking the bare arm once more.

"Mmng, _fick dich_." Prussia grumbled in his half-sleep, not really hearing what he had just said.

"I will, right next to you, if you don't get up." The blonde warned through his grogginess, groping for the drawer on the bedside table and opening it.

"Hm? _Was_?" Prussia asked tiredly, barely letting his eyes slip open. It wasn't until he heard a sound of Canada moaning in pleasure that he shot up in bed and groped for the light. Switching it on he looked to Canada and found him holding up a colorful, strange, glass thing that resembled a penis, completely clothed and just staring at him like "fooled you". "You're disgusding."

"And like you're not?" Matthew was just examining the object, looking for any possible cracks or nicks in it, he would have hated to throw it out as it so rarely got used.

"_Schwuler_."

"Not ashamed." He looked to Prussia from the dildo and tossed it from hand to hand, earning a disgusted look from present company.

"You schoult be."

"Guess I'm not so moral as you thought." Flipping the glass dildo around his wrist, he placed it back in the bedside drawer, closing it. Prussia shivered with revulsion, thinking about what he probably did with it. "Hm, what're you thinking about?"

"Hm? _Was_? _Warum_?"

"Well…" Matthew looked away as Prussia's eyes traveled down to his wonderful morning wood.

Making an impressed face he stared at his erection, "Impressife I know. Bud id's nod like you don'd ged dem."

"Yeah, you're right. On both things." The blonde stood, Prussia making a spluttering noise after him. "Get up, we're leaving in forty-five minutes." His friend grumbled and threw the blankets off his form and stood, probably thinking of something nasty to get rid of his wood.

On the other hand, Matthew walked down the hall to his office and fired up his laptop. Logging on to his video conference number, he typed in the phone number for the service in charge of nation transportation. A groggy voice picked up after long, "Hullo?" The man's voice on the other end said tiredly

"Yes, it's Canada."

"What is it, sir?" he sounded decidedly much more awake now.

"Prussia and I need the plane to be ready by one-thirty. We have a meeting at five Alberta's time in Stockholm, Sweden." Matthew quickly replied.

"Alright, what is the closest large city to you?"

"Well, we have the Jasper airport nearby."

"Oh, no problem then, we got a few people living in Jasper that can help you out."

"That's great to hear." _Wait a second… We do?_

"They will be notified immediately and will be waiting for you."

"Thank you."

"Yes, _au revoir_."

"_Au revoir_." Canada clicked the button to hang up and turned off the computer. Getting up and stretching, he headed back to his room, hearing the shower running. That was odd that Prussia was _actually_ getting a shower, here he thought he was going to have to force him. _Well, _he supposed, _at least he understands he needs to look good for the meeting._

Going to his closet, he pulled out Prussia's formal uniform and hung it over his arm before pulling his out and laying it down on his bed. In Prussia's room, he dropped the clothes to the bed as Prussia walked out of the bathroom, scrubbing his hair clean.

"Vhat's dat?" he asked, tossing the towel onto the floor behind him.

"Pick that up!" Looking behind him, Prussia shrugged and looked back to him. "Pick. It. Up. _Now_." His conscience, shocked into total wakefulness, urged Prussia to do as he said. Obviously someone wasn't a morning person. Or he just didn't like getting up early for meetings.

"Alrighd, alrighd, don'd ged your pandies in a bunch." Picking up the towel he then tossed it into a hamper. "Dere, heppy?"

"Not really. But these are your clothes you are to wear. Also, brush your teeth your breath has been awful these past few days." Matthew explained, screwing his face up at the end of his instruction.

"Brusch… My teed?"

"Yes. Oh, don't tell me… You know, never mind, I've been around you too long by now. Just come here." Storming from the room, Prussia followed after him into the master bathroom and watched Matthew put a small amount of some white paste onto the end of a fuzzy brush and stick it in his mouth, scrubbing down his teeth. In the end where he spit and gargled he looked at Prussia pointedly. "Do not make me tell you again. Now that you know how." He made a shoving off motion at him and Prussia just glared.

"Dere ist no bru-" Quickly having a blue toothbrush thrust at him along with some paste, he accepted them from the already pissy Canadian and made himself scarce from the room.

Happy that he had taken his shower before going to bed last night, Matthew combed his hair into place (excluding his _ahoge_ that could never be tamed) and washed his face. After putting on some deodorant he noticed the crack in his glasses again. Grumbling to himself quietly, he tossed the glasses away into the garbage can and pulled out a new pair from his pants. He had learned to keep a store of them at home long ago if such things happened.

Mustering a smile at his reflection in the mirror, he walked back out into his bedroom. After one last stretch, he changed his boxers and pulled on his pants, leaving them unzipped or buttoned as he pulled on his white shirt and tucked it into his pants. Buttoning his shirt, tying his tie, almost done, the last things there were was his formal shoes, his gun holster, over the shoulder coat belt and the uniform coat itself. Well, the shoes were easy enough, the belt, the coat was as well… But his gun holster and gun were missing…

_Oh shit._ Rifling through his belongings in his drawers, he quickly assessed that his gun was not present. Now, if he hadn't known that he had brought it with him, he might've freaked out about it so much, the holster and gun weren't important (but nice to have especially today). But he did know that he'd brought it here and if he didn't have it…

Carefully poking his head into Prussia's room as he got his uniform finally done, putting his belt on over his coat as if he did it every day. With Gilbird sitting comfortably on his head it made Matthew's heart leap. Tossing his hair slightly, he gave Matthew his crooked smile and said, "Vhat do you dink? I clean up vell, _ja_?"

"Always…" The blonde stared dreamily for a second, but shook his head to get out of it after that second had passed. "Eurh, anyway, have you seen my gun holster?"

"Your holschter or your gun?" Prussia asked, holding up the handgun as if he were about to fire up into the ceiling. The sight of Prussia with a gun made Matthew jump and hold out his hand as he nervously made his way towards him.

Audibly swallowing he asked, "C-Can I have it?"

"Sure." Prussia tossed the gun to him and Matthew caught it, fumbling with it for a moment before finally getting a solid grip on it. Sure, a gunshot might not kill him, but it would sure as Hell hurt. "Thanks."

"Noh problem. I hef my own." Prussia motioned to himself and Matthew could feel his stomach drop to the floor. He had the urge to try to remove the gun from his person as he knew exactly what kind of holster Prussia used, but… It didn't seem worth the effort at the moment. "Ahz fur your holschter, I hefen'd zeen id."

"Uhm, thanks again, it probably just fell off my uniform or something, I'll look again." Just about bolting away from the armed man, Matthew was back in his room, hunting around for his holster. Now knowing that Prussia _had_ his gun he _needed_ his with him. Just how had it ended up in Prussia's room to begin with? His things were only ever in his closet or in his drawers. He had had no reason to go into Prussia's room since arriving… Wait a moment…

Returning to Prussia's room the nation's head snapped right to him as soon as he entered, "_Wo sind meine schuhen_?" he asked as Matthew got down on the floor on his chest and reached beneath the bed. "_Was tust'n du_?" Feeling his hand rest on something, Matthew grabbed it and dragged it out from beneath the bed. That, as well as a pair of his boxers and a bloodied shirt…

Looking up at Prussia, he tweaked a half disgusted eyebrow at him. Prussia merely shrugged making the classic face of "I don't fuckin' know, don't look at me".

"Weird…" Matthew simply said, standing. "I will get your boots for you in a moment, I need to… Do something with these." Walking back to his room and Prussia just staring dumbstruck after him, he examined the clothes. The blood and mud-covered shirt was from the other day… When had Prussia taken it and why? And the boxers… Sighing, he reached his hand inside them and found something dry had hardened within, something was also on the outside. Disgusting! Most likely he was just going to burn both garments for safety. As for his gun holster, he really wasn't sure when Prussia had _ever_ seen where he had kept it and wasn't sure what he would ever need it for.

Shrugging, he tossed the two defiled clothing articles into a corner and stuck his gun into the holster before clipping it on over his white shirt. Finally being able to, he pulled his dress coat on and put the odd belt on over it. Oh wait, he still had to get Prussia's boots for him. Going back into his closet, he picked up Prussia's knee-high, filigreed boots, happy that he had remembered to get them while at the house the other day.

Finally walking back for the last time into Prussia's room he dropped the boots before him and Prussia stared at them with interest. The two stood there in silence for a good minute before Prussia finally picked them up.

"Badarsch…" Matthew couldn't help but chuckle at the badly butchered word of appreciation. The other in the room just looked at him curiously as he put the shoes on (tucking his pants into them) and laced them up.

"Custom made for you awhile ago, eh. You said the same thing when you first saw them." Prussia just nodded and worked at the laces with expert speed.

"Zoh, vhen ahre ve leafing?"

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Coultn'd ve ged zomeding vonce ve're dere? Voultn'd dat be easier?" It was amazing to believe that _Prussia_ of all people, at one time or another, believed in being punctual! Perhaps Matthew could get this particular personality piece to stay after Gilbert returned… Or not, he needed to stop thinking about those things and just be happy with who Gilbert was.

"I guess. In that case, come here." Pulling out another syringe of M99 he approached Prussia.

"Hey!" He shot to his feet after completing the tying of his shoes. "Vhat de fuck! Vhat's dat fur?"

"Prussia, I'm sorry, I can't have you knowing how to get out of the forest." Matthew lunged for him and he slipped away easily.

"Vhy?" They began to circle each other in the available space that they had.

"I brought you out here so you would stay away from the human population, I can't just endanger my people because you want some extra freedom." Matthew feinted to the right and Prussia dashed in that direction, surprising Matthew for the time he needed to escape out the bedroom door and into the hall. "Get back here!"

"Who zait I vas going to kill your people you dumbarsch?"

"Your history of how you treat humans."

"_My_ humans. I'm nod schtupit enough to mess vid _oder_ nation's people. Please, dat's how you ged your arsch handet to you if you don'd vant a var." Prussia also had _sense_ when he was younger? What? This was blasphemy!

They were still slowly backing down the hallway towards the stairs, why hadn't Prussia reached for his gun yet? Maybe he wasn't feeling that threatened by him? Augh, the bastard!

"I can't let you know how to leave, I'm sorry, I only have your best interests at heart."

"Zays who? _Gott_, vhy cahn'd I jus hef a blintfolt or zomeding?"

"Because, knowing your sense of direction you'll memorize the way." Prussia's face screwed up for a second, indicating he had hoped Matthew would have fallen for that. "I've known you for the last twenty years of your life. There is little I don't know. About your… Talents."

"Okay, den vhy don'd I ahzk you dis, vhy ahre you afrait of me running ovf?"

"Because… I don't want you hurting anyone, eh."

"Und?"

"I don't want you getting hurt. I guess…"

"Vhy voult I ged hurd?"

"You had no idea what a modern car was, Prussia…" They had stopped now at the top of the stairs.

"I'm nod schtupit."

"You can be pretty dumb when the mood suits you." Seeing Prussia's fingers twitch he readied himself to tackle him down the stairs if need be.

"I cahn zurfife on my own jus' oud in your voots… If I _really _vantet to leaf, don'd you dink I voult hef by now? I voult fint my vay oud efentually, id voult be inefidable." Matthew supposed the albino had a point, but he definitely had some kind of ulterior motive here. Even when he was Gilbert this was often true. Of course, most of Gilbert's ulterior motives often pertained to one of three things, one, getting more sex, two, making Matthew angry, or three, getting more booze. Or weed… Okay, three, getting more booze/pot, there.

"You haven't been mad enough yet and you don't have anywhere to go."

"You jus' broughd up a goot poind. I hef novhere to goh. Dere ist ahlzo de facd dat I hef no money und don'd know how much of _anyding_ vorks now-a-days." No one could ever say Prussia was informational-wise dumb. He sure did stupid things, but he was intelligent and that's why half the stupid things he did he had thought of at least three different ways of getting out of punishment were he caught.

Grumbling and realizing he had sort of been backed into a proverbial corner, Matthew put the syringe of M99 back in his pocket (and back to the lab he had originally taken it from) "Fine. I'm trusting you. And if you try anything, you're within _my_ boarders and I already know you're here, I **will** be able to find you."

Prussia just grinned triumphantly at having won, his ego was certainly being stroked quite nicely. And Matthew couldn't help it when his heart softened, that same **damn** face! Walking over to him, he patted Prussia on the shoulder and walked down the stairs, the other following after him.

"You bringing Gilbird with you?"

"Noh, vhy?"

"You should probably tell him that."

"Vhere ist he?" The albino's eyes darted around, looking for the small ball of adorable fluff.

"On your head." Matthew smiled and tapped the space on his head where Gilbird was sitting on Prussia's.

"Uhm, I knew dat!" Reaching up, Prussia gently removed the protesting bird from his head and petted it a few times. "He's… Cude…"

"I suspect that's why you have him."

"Vhat's dat z'post to mean?"

"You have a strange affection for cute, fuzzy things." Matthew explained, leaning down and picking up Kumajirou, "You've never liked this guy though." Prussia's nose wrinkled up when he looked at the bear. "See?" The blonde chuckled and looked back down to Kumajirou, "I'm not taking you with me to the meeting today. There will be too much stress, kay?"

"Foooooooood?" The small, white bear asked and Matthew sighed, scratching him behind the ears, replying with, "Alright, alright, I'll get you some food fatass." Putting Kumajirou down, he headed for the kitchen, calling back to Prussia, "You're going to have to leave food out for Gilbird too!"

"Vhat do I feet him?" Prussia asked, following Matthew into the kitchen and watching as he laid out what looked like dog food and a fillet of fish.

"Seed, birds are easier to care for than mammals." Matthew reached up into the space where he kept that jar of cookies and pulled down a large container of seed. "There you go. Just put some out in a bowl." Nodding, Prussia took the container and did as instructed, watching Gilbird jump down from his head and to the bowl to eat. He couldn't help but sit there and stare, he was just… So cute… "We can go now, you know…" Jumping, Prussia looked over to him, he had a fuzzy, ankle-length coat on, and nodded, both of them heading for the front door. "We're going! See you two when we get back!" They didn't get much of an answer as the animals were busy eating, but Gilbird did make a chirping noise.

()()()

"Zoh… Vhy ist your haus oud in de mittle of novhere?" Prussia asked once they got into the car and they headed off in the direction of Jasper city.

"I can't really tell you my full reasons yet. But part of it is I like the peace, my home in Ottawa, everyone, as in nations, knows where it is. My brother is about the only visitor I get besides you and Cuba and my brother can be really annoying." Actually, he was quite surprised that Alfred had even been able to find where he was. Someone must've reported their visit to the hospital or Germany's visit to the grocery store, Matthew had made sure to go to a city further away for his Sunday outing. Which, something about that was striking him as very odd. Like so many times in the past week he was unable to put his finger upon what was so off about it. One of these days, he knew all his forgetfulness was going to come back and bite him hard in the ass.

"Vhy cahn'd you tell me efryding?"

"Because you don't need to know about it right now."

"Und vhy nod?" Prussia hissed, beginning to become agitated.

"Because you don't." _You don't want to hear just how far we've fallen._ Seeing that did little to deter Prussia he took a deep breath and sighed, "Look, more like this, you don't want to hear it, okay? I don't even like thinking about it."

"Vhat's zoh bat aboud id?"

"It's disgusting to me and just…" He felt his stomach turn over at one particular incident, he had demanded more privacy after that… But a nation wasn't human was it? It looked human but it was powerful and needed to be properly monitored. He had been so furious after that time that he had just contracted an independent company and paid them to keep the building of it off the record. It had royally pissed off his boss at the time, but it definitely got the job done. "I don't trust my own people anymore." he mumbled solemnly.

Prussia chose not to press the issue anymore and the two sped down the dark road towards the town lights. It was nothing compared to Calgary of course, but it still excited Prussia, he had memories of cities at night, but hereto had yet to experience one, or maybe it was just that it was a new town. Matthew hoped it was the latter…

Arriving at the airport, a man in a black suit flagged Canada down and he stopped, looking to the human who flashed him a badge, "Good morning, sir." He nodded and offered to drive the car to a place to be parked. Prussia looked suspicious, but on Canada's okay, stepped out of the car along with him. The man directed him to where the plane would be waiting and bid him farewell.

"Who de fuck vas dat?"

"One of the government people in charge of where I go."

"You hef people _in charge_ of you?"

"My boss is pretty strict with me at the moment, it used to be worse, but some of my bosses in past have also been very lax and I can relax and do as I please. An example is Alfred, his boss isn't terribly worried about what he gets up to because he trusts him." Canada shrugged and kept walking, heading for the private part of the airfield.

"Vhy doesn't yours trusd you?" Prussia easily kept up and walked along side him.

"I don't know, he's just not fond of me. Usually, your bosses will like you, but when you advise them too much, as you are supposed to since they could get you hurt if they do something wrong, they will become resentful. I haven't been doing much advising and he still doesn't like me. America is lucky, generally, his bosses have liked him, maybe that's because he comes off as naïve sometimes and is able to easily coerce his bosses into listening to him through his cute little charms."

"Ahre ahll his bosses vomen?"

"No, they've all been male."

"Dey ahll gay?"

"Nope, none of them so far… Well… He had his suspicions about Buchanan, but he never found anything solid on him. But, Alfred is just personable, he tries to make friends, but, most of the time, comes off as annoying." Prussia made a blank face at the mention of America's president as he had no idea who that was, but nodded at the last part.

Yawning at the sight of the plane, Canada skipped all greetings of his attendants and just climbed on in. Prussia stood outside to admire the plane for a few moments. He was receiving some very disapproving looks from the humans but a swift glare put them all in their places.

A yawn from one of them caught his attention, his eyes drifting down to lay on one of the black-suited, sunglasses-wearing men. Why was he wearing sunglasses at nearly two in the morning? From what light there was, he could see the man was of decent build and had red hair… Well now! That certainly had caught his interest.

Smirking, Prussia nonchalantly paced over to the man, his body stiffened when he noticed he had caught Prussia's attention. None of the humans did anything to stop him, they were here to observe, not touch them.

"_Hallo_ dere, Schtoughton vasn'd id?" Prussia pretended to be of fuzzy memory, however, it was a well-known fact among Canada's staff that he never forgot a face. Well, never forgot a face before this whole incident, but why get technical?

"Sir." The strawberry-blonde answered in affirmative. There was obvious distain in his voice, but it appeared that he hadn't expected the disguise to really fool him. Probably he had just hoped Prussia wouldn't notice him more than anything else.

"Your… Abilidies, or lack dereof, zuck royally." Plucking the glasses off the man's face, Prussia folded them in half with a crack and tossed them over his shoulder. "I knew dere vas zomeding ovf aboud you."

"What're you going to do about it, eh?"

Smirking down at him he called, "Canada! Come hier! I hef zomeding I vant to schow you!" Turning to head up the stairs into the plane, Frederick grabbed Prussia by the back of his collar and yanked him back. All the agents standing around looked away as if they hadn't seen anything.

"Can't it _wait_ Prussia? I'm tired." Drifted out of the plane and Prussia easily smacked the puny human's hand from his back. Frederick and Prussia's eyes met, open loathing was found in both of their eyes, Prussia wasn't even sure _why_ he hated Frederick as much as he did. Searching for more information, he found his conscience and pressed against it. At first the old man didn't seem quite sure what he was looking for until he glared back at Frederick. Anger, loathing, an intense need to kill flooded his system, so this man had done something to him while he still had all his memories. But what? He was human, what could one do? Knowing Canada would probably stick him with a syringe or something if he did kill the man, he resisted.

"_Ja_, id cahn! I'll be ihnzite ihn a minid!" He called over his shoulder and looked a Frederick, "Who ahre you?"

"We've met before…" Frederick answered cheekily. "More than once too." Grumbling, Prussia slammed his mind back at his conscience, _demanding _it give him more information. At first it squirmed a little bit, steadily growing more and more angry until images (ones that came without pain) were thrown at him.

_Canada is standing at the end of the hallway, he is going over something in his hands as one of his agents is speaking to him. The agent is of medium build and has black hair, his brighter roots showing underneath the dye. The way he is staring at Canada as he speaks makes Prussia's stomach turn over and adrenaline fill his veins. He wants to kill him for staring at him like that. No human _ever_ had the right to look at his Matthew that way. It was downright disrespectful!_

_Prussia shoves himself off from the wall he was leaning against, he growls something at the agent. The man jumps and looks over, not having seen him standing there. Very nervous, he is beginning to back away._

_Canada just looks up to Prussia and smiles, he says something and dismisses the agent, walking over to him and throwing his arms around him. Prussia just continues to glare as the human stares longingly at the two. A swift growl and the agent is gone in a flash._

The memory cut off and Prussia hissed angrily at the human he now had a grip on, "You _ahre_ a fag ahren'd you?" He ground his teeth together, thinking of the way he had stared so longingly at Canada. Humans were so disgusting!

"Like you're not?" He got a swift punch across the face that fractured his cheekbone and Prussia threw him to the ground.

"You vill _nefer_ hef efen a chance vid him." The albino growled.

"What are you talking about?" His eyes flicked to one of the agents nearby.

"Don'd play dumb vid me!" Stomping his filigreed boot down on Stoughton's hand, there were a few resounding cracks as he ground the heel into the thin bones. Somehow the doctor was able to keep his gasp of pain down.

Leaning all his weight down on the one foot, pulverizing the rest of the bones in his hand, Prussia put his mouth by Stoughton's ear. "I may hef losd ahll my memories, bud I vill alvays remember dat I _hade_ you. You ahre a disgusding freak of nadure whose only purpose ist to die afder being fuckt ihn de arsch by a greader being.

I mighd nod like Canada, bud ahz a fellow nation I vill look oud for him. Hef fun nefer using dis hant again." Standing up, he completed his job by stomping on the broken appendage again and actually eliciting a pained cry from him. It made him laugh and all the other humans look away all the more. Nations were able to treat agents any way they wanted as long as their "owner" didn't object. And Canada wasn't around to object.

Happily hopping into the plane, Prussia saw that Canada was already asleep in his seat. Grumbling to himself at the impulse to take the seat next to him and fall asleep too, he grudgingly gave into it. Laying down on his side to look at him. He wasn't really sure why his conscience made him so mad, or why he himself had been so mad at the human who was most likely being tended to by now… All he knew was that Stoughton liking the blonde Canadian was not allowed.

Canada rolled over in his seat so he was on his side too, facing Prussia. Still asleep, one of Canada's arms reached out and put itself around Prussia, making his face redden a bit with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

"Hey, ged ovf." He flicked Canada between the eyes and he jolted awake, sitting up immediately. Prussia just lay there and glared up at him.

"What did I do?"

"Pud your ahrm arount me." Canada stared down at him, speechless for a moment.

"You woke me up for _that_? You couldn't have just, taken it off? I can't control what I do in my sleep any more than you can. And, no offense, but you do worse things in your sleep without a doubt."

Prussia rolled his eyes, switching to put his hands behind his head and lay on his back, "Oh, like vhat?"

"Well, you walk to my bed in your sleep, apparently steal my clothes, masturbate, grind up against me-"

"Whoa, whoa! Vhat? Vhen dit dis happen?" Prussia shot up and stared at him straight.

"Remember waking up the past few days being _tired_?" There was a curt nod and Matthew motioned him to do the math. A disturbed look that made Matthew chuckle came over Prussia's face. Unfortunately, this was not Gilbert he was talking with, so the chuckle earned him a punch to the nose, his seatbelt keeping him from falling backwards out of the seat. "Ow! God damn it Prussia!" Sighing, Matthew reached into his large coat and pulled out a package of tissues he had stored within, wadding one up and sticking it into his bleeding nose. Taking a deep breath he sighed and cracked his nose back into place, stuffing another tissue into his other nostril afterwards.

"Gedding ust to id ahre ve?" Prussia made his "kesesese" noise and laid back down.

Groaning, Canada looked down at him, "That's not necessarily a good thing, Prussia." His companion shrugged and worked on going back to sleep. Realizing that he wasn't going to do it himself, Canada reached down and buckled his seatbelt, Prussia grabbing his hand as he tried.

Matthew was very grateful the both of them were wearing gloves, skin to skin contact would have made him have the need to do _something. _Curse the fact that a humanoid was horniest after waking up and before ten AM, "I'm only buckling your seatbelt."

"Oh…" Prussia released the hand and Matthew cinched up the belt so it was firm around his waist. "Going to schleep too?"

"Yeah." Matthew stayed sitting up though, waiting for the blood flow to stop. "Once my nose stops bleeding." Prussia chuckled again with his eyes closed and Matthew just stared down at him. "See you when we get to Stockholm."

"Dat de name of de Svede's capidal?"

"How do you not know that?"

"Nod impordand." Matthew only rolled his eyes and slapped Prussia's leg personably, still waiting for his nose to stop bleeding.

()()()

Stockholm, needless to say, was cold. For Matthew, of course, it was normal, Prussia on the other hand…

"I'm freezing my balls ovf hier! Vhy de fuck ist id zoh colt?" He had his gloved hands jammed into his armpits and shivered in the cold weather. Matthew just sighed and slipped his huge coat off (this weather was practically pleasant to him after all), handing it to Prussia. Glaring at him first, Prussia snatched the pre-warmed coat and threw it on.

"It's six degrees Prussia, be glad it's not cold enough to snow." He simply said, gaining another angered glare from Prussia.

"You und Russia bode, you're fuckin' abominable znowmen." Prussia pulled the coat tighter around himself as the wind kicked up, "Und I schtress abominable."

"I can take my coat back, you know." Matthew threatened, them passing a group of curious humans.

"I't like to zee you _try_ panzy boy. Peh, ve're nohvhere _near_ you." the albino chuckled arrogantly, Matthew's features darkening. Surprisingly, he found himself smacked (literally) upside the head and his body back the way it was, cold. "How de fuck dit you do dat?" He asked the blonde, dumbfounded as said man buttoned up his coat.

"I've fought wars too, you know."

Scoffing, Prussia went back to hugging himself against the cold, "Vell, cahn ve schtop for foot? I'm hungry!" Seeing as though they had already exchanged the dollars for kronor, Matthew shrugged and replied, "Why not?"

They hurried into a small restaurant that mostly served traditional food. Despite the slight language barrier as not everyone spoke perfect English, Matthew was able to order himself a plate of _pölsa_ with a couple of fried eggs, and just because he knew today was going to be stressful, a cup of _blåbärssoppa_. The _pölsa _was definitely not what he had been expecting, it reminded him ever-so-slightly of a trip to visit Scotland. The thick, sweet and darkly colored _blåbärssoppa_, though he was not used to swallowing a liquid like it, went down nicely and warmed his stomach.

Prussia ordered much the same, save for the _pölsa_, instead, he ordered _blodkorv_, basically the same thing as his beloved _blutwurst_. Matthew had never been able to properly wrap his head around the fact that Gilbert _loved_ _blutwurst_, it just made him cringe to think of him eating the congealed blood of some cow, pig or sheep.

Wincing as Prussia dug his knife and fork into the sausage, he tried to keep his mind off of it by sipping at the cup of warm blueberry soup. For a second he wondered why it was called _blueberry_ soup in English for the simple fact that it was not composed of the American blueberry, but the bilberry. Well, whatever, spelling and color were close enough.

The drink was delicious and the eggs were indeed well-cooked, but the _pölsa_ wasn't exactly the best thing he had ever tasted and hence was only able to finish about half of it. Prussia on the other hand, scarfed down the blood sausage, inhaled the eggs and would have drowned had he tried to drink the _blåbärssoppa_ any faster. He always had had a wonderful appetite and it made him smile to watch the albino practically licking the bottom of the cup clean.

"Still hungry?" He asked, poking at the left over hash-like substance, swearing it growled at him and stopping after that.

"I'll ead de resd of dat if you're nod going to." Prussia offered, wiping a bit of the purple juice from his lips.

"I don't know…" Matthew looked down to the food and in the end shrugged, "Whatever, it's practically sausage filling with no casing." He pushed the plate over to him and Prussia gladly devoured what was left of it.

"Vhen do ve hef to be dere?"

"About noon, it's almost nine now." Matthew blew his _ahoge_ out of his face and mulled over the idea of calling Ludwig so they could talk about how the meeting was going to be handled. As stupid as it was, somehow or another Prussia _always_ ended up in the general vicinity of Russia at these meetings. He would also have to talk to Austria before the end of the day, maybe France and Spain too given that they would all acutely notice the differences in his personality. If he was lucky, England would be hung over or wouldn't pay any attention to him and that would be one less person to explain the issue to.

"Vhy dit ve ged hier zoh early?" Prussia inquired, polishing off the rest of the food.

"There are some people I want you to become re-acquainted with." The albino perked up immediately and leaned across the table, a curious look blooming over his face.

"Who?" he asked, making Matthew smile again.

"Austria and France. But, I have to call them first." Prussia's eyebrows knitted themselves together and he sat back, disappointed. "What?"

"Schpecs und _dat_ loser? Vhy?"

"Because, along with myself, they are two of your best friends." Well, in the case of Austria, it wasn't so much friendship as a mutual love of benevolent annoying each other. Sounded like best friends to him though.

"Really?" Prussia made a face of disbelief and over exaggerated gagging, "Zorry, bud, I't hef to zee id to belief id."

"Alright, no problem." Standing up and putting the plates and mugs where they belonged, he walked outside and beckoned Prussia to follow.

Once outside, Prussia gave him another of his "what" looks and waited for Matthew to do as he planned. Pulling out his cell, Matthew searched through his contacts and found his father's, putting the phone to his ear.

After a couple rings, a groggy voice on the other end picked up, "_Bonjour_?"

"_Hello, Papa_." Matthew spoke, unaware of Prussia's old ability to completely understand French.

"_Oh_! _Mathieu_! _How are you, my darling_?" There was a rustling noise and the sound of someone grumbling beside the man on the phone. He mumbled something to the person and the rustling came again as the Frenchman extricated himself from his bed.

"_Just fine, Papa. Uhm, I have Prussia here_-"

"_Why wouldn't you_?" Francis cut him off and Matthew sighed, speaking again with a bit more force.

"_A problem has arisen and-_"

"_What did he do to you_?" The yell had been so loud that Matthew held the phone at arms length and was still able to hear the yells. Prussia blinked and looked to the Canadian with a certain amount of curiosity. Chuckling nervously, he returned the phone to his ear and spoke even louder, "_Dad_! _Nothing happened_! _Well, nothing like that…_"

"_Oh… So what's the problem then_?"

"_Well, he's having… Okay, he has amnesia…_" There was silence on the other end of the phone before he heard his father's voice talking to whoever was in the room with him. They said something back (he assumed this was Arthur) and the phone was returned to ear.

"_He. Has. __**What**_?" He sounded furious beyond words, but Matthew couldn't begin to understand why.

"_Amnesia…_"

"_Anterograde or retrograde_?"

"_More like a form of dissociative. A lot like a_-"

"_You're in Stockholm with him_?"

"_Yeah…_"

"_Arthur and I will be there as soon as we can_ _be_. _Go wait in the meeting building_."

"_Uhm, okay, but-_" The phone went dead and Matthew closed his phone, feeling _very_ confused. Looking to Prussia he shrugged and put the phone away. "C'mon, France said to wait at the building." Prussia nodded and the two walked to the building all of the nations were to gather inside.

Once inside the building, Prussia marveled at its size and design, it wasn't like he had never seen such an establishment before, he just liked that it was made expressly for nations.

"Wow, ist dis ding ust fur anyding else?"

"Not generally. I'm sure humans use it for _something_ because there are so many homes we can have meetings in. In Sweden's home and America's, they have one expressly for it. In mine, we just use an unused room in the parliament building." Matthew somewhat supposed there was a reason for that. It wasn't like most of his bosses didn't like him or anything… Okay, some of them hadn't, but he really didn't need one, did he? Just excess money spending for a building that was never used practically.

"Zoh, vhere ist de lozer?" Prussia asked, no longer amused by the grandeur of the building.

"He'll be here soon enough, he was still in bed when I called." Prussia sighed and crossed his arms as Matthew took a seat in one of the many lining the hallway. "I don't like waiting around either."

As it turned out, France was not the first to show up as Matthew had originally guessed he would have, in fact, it was Austria that did, Germany at his heels.

"Matthew," Ludwig greeted and Prussia leaped to his feet, regarding Austria with an icy stare. Matthew stood and was waved off by Austria to stand by Ludwig. At first, Matthew was quite confused about what the two nations were doing, it couldn't have been good though. Austria plus Prussia always equaled some kind of fight, benign or not.

"_Good morning, Gilbert_."Austria greeted, Matthew at least understood that much German.

"_Since when are you allowed to refer to me by my name_?" Prussia responded, Matthew unable to understand them and just getting interpretations from Ludwig as whispers in the ear.

"_Since after I married Elizeveta._"

"_Still so smug about that_? _You can have the bitch, I have no need for her._" He sounded sure of himself, his pride enveloping him completely in what could have been considered an armor. Matthew had yet to be privy of such exchanges between the nations of Prussia and Austria, Austria was strangely prideful himself. Usually around Gilbert he was completely at ease, here he looked tight as a piano wire.

"_Not smug, just checking you over_."

"_What's that supposed to mean, you fucking-_"

"It's not the same thing." Austria said over his shoulder to Ludwig. The German visibly relaxed and Austria smiled, leaving both Prussia and Matthew equally confused and looking to each other. They both shrugged in unison and Matthew looked to Germany.

"What were you two looking for, eh?"

"To see if he had de same sickness he had vhen he vas younger. It vas a long time ago dough." Matthew didn't feel like revealing to Germany that Prussia had told him about the sickness a while ago, he could have answered that question himself. But slightly he wondered what Elizeveta had to do with the odd disease. Sure, both Austria and Italy had been exposed to her… But from what Gilbert had told him about it, Austria had never shown any true _romantic_ desire until after the German Civil War, after he had been sick, they married even for about fifty-one years… Matthew wasn't totally sure why he found this simple fact so important and wondered why his brain couldn't move past that Hungary was _somehow_ important in all this mess… He resolved to talk to her whenever he got the chance to today. Well, somewhere between damage control and avoiding Russia of course. "Are you alright? You seem doughtful."

"Just a little, I'm only wondering why he was so quick to bring up Hungary. Usually they never talk of her." As Prussia began to bicker with Austria in the background, the two blonde nations conversed with one another.

"I'm unsure as vell… It's nod like Roderich to suddenly bring her up in dat manner. Bud, he said he had a vay of checking und he said he doesn'd haf it." Matthew was banking on that Germany hadn't even connected the two sicknesses of Austria and Italy together, but he didn't expect him to, they were, most likely, of no relevancy to one another.

"Hey!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and witnessed the advance of France and England. After everyone greeting, France looked to the two (by his standards) uninvolved parties. "Can you darlings just… Step out for a bit please?" He said in his most charming voice. Germany gave Canada and Prussia worried glances before looking back to the obviously serious France and waving for Austria to follow him. However, as Austria left, Canada caught something barely discernable over the aristocrat's fine coat. It was a sneer, but that was not the surprising part. That part? It was not directed at Prussia, but directly at him. Matthew tweaked an eyebrow at the retreating Austrian, but he ignored him and kept following Germany down the hall.

"Hey pop…" Matthew greeted, giving his dad a hug.

"Hello Mathieu." France looked to Prussia then, the albino seemed completely uninterested in anything he had to say. "Gilbert," France started, earning himself a glare from him. "how are you feeling?"

"Vhy de fuck do ahll of you zeem to dink dat I'm zick or zomeding?"

"You don't remember… How much?" Francis looked to Matthew and the blonde sighed answering with, "He _just_ remembered the aftermath of world war one."

"You're kidding…" France said and they both turned to regard Prussia again. England seemed content to stay out of the whole mess. He was Gilbert's friend, but this was a problem best solved by the man's lover and best friend. France scratched the back of his head, realizing that at this point Prussia was going to find him a bigger enemy than friend, "Well, Prussia."

The albino was standing patiently, his arms folded over his chest, "_Was_?" He said irritably, quirking an eyebrow.

"You probably won't believe me, but-"

"You're my besd freund, _ja_?" Prussia grumbled, hating all this. "I don'd really care righd now, dere ist zomeding you don'd vant to tell me."

France let a small chuckle slip, "Of course there are. We can't tell you _everything_, when you don't even seem to care all that much about who your friends are."

"Vell, den, who ahre my freunds?" the albino sounded bored.

Francis flicked his eyes back to Matthew and the taller blonde motioned for him to go ahead, "Today in this meeting, it is imperative that you know who you can trust so I _will_ tell you." Now Prussia seemed a bit more interested and unfolded his arms to rest his hands in his pockets, "Myself, of course and Matthew are two people. Arthur here," England gave France a look of he wanted to stay out of the whole mess, but France shrugged and continued on, "Antonio, but he's going to be in the dark about this specific issue you have. If he were to find out _everyone_ would know."

"Voult dat be zoh bat?" Prussia questioned, tipping his head a little bit.

"Yes, things are delicate right now and if someone who shouldn't finds out…" Matthew was relieved when Prussia seemed to comprehend and he nodded, "Good. After us there is obviously Austria and Germany, Veneziano and then there is Hungary."

"Okay, den who ahm I to afoit?"

All the blondes look to each other and responded in chorus, "Russia."

"Vhy?"

"Just do it." Matthew encouraged, perhaps Prussia trusted him a bit more than the other two present.

"Conzitering dat you refuse to tell me vhat exacdly id ist dat makes dis zoh-"

"Prussia, don't you **dare** ask him about it." The tallest man warned and Prussia snorted. Yes, he did hold Matthew's words slightly higher than the other two, but he found his worry stupid.

"Vhat's he going to do?"

"That's just it, we don't know." Francis explained, "You're kind of… Special at the moment."

Well, maybe they shouldn't have told him that because his face brightened in a way that spelled trouble for _everyone_, "Oh really?"

Matthew and Arthur glared at Francis then, "Hey, if he knows he's in a bad situation right now, he might be less inclined to-"

"_Bat_ siduation?" Prussia suspiciously inquired, taking a few steps closer.

Francis sighed and looked to him again, "Yes, our bosses have all informed us that for some time, Russia has been planning something… We just don't know what." Well, this was news to Canada, but at least he was hearing it now.

Prussia scoffed and looked curious, after a few minutes of thought, he looked to them squarely, "I trusd _you_." A gloved finger pointed to Matthew, "Und I trusd _Westen_, bud you two," he waggled his index and middle fingers at England and France, "I don'd know if I schoult."

"Ya can trust us t' not aid Russia." England informed, staring Prussia down, "Ya can also trust 'at neither France nor myself will bail, we're actually on th' same side 'is time an' all." Prussia nodded, finding some sort of logic in this.

"Fine." He finally said at the end and Matthew sighed with relief, what in the fuck had Russia been up to to cause _this_ much unrest? Was it possible that he, in fact, was responsible for Prussia's amnesia? Or had his planning really been going on for so long? He supposed that even if the planning had been going on for long, he could have just now been choosing to implement it.

Matthew tugged at Francis's coat and whispered his suspicions into his ear. When the Frenchman leaned back out, he was pensive.

"_It's always possible._" he responded.

"Vhat's always possible?" Prussia asked, catching Matthew off guard, but Francis didn't seem the least bit surprised.

"You speak French?" Matthew was incredulous, as far as he had been able to tell over the past twenty years, Gilbert _didn't_ understand French…

"_He does now_." France had to remind himself that Prussia had been totally fluent just after the first world war. In the second he didn't apply it as much and all his abuse under Russia the subsequent years scrambled his abilities. So, _Gilbert_, didn't speak French very well, _Prussia_ did.

"Now?" Matthew asked as Prussia felt like he was being ignored, it was irritating him.

"_I'll explain it later, the point is your assumption could be possible. The only issue with it is, our bosses refuse to tell us _anything_ about Russia's activities. The only people who know are our bosses and Russia himself._"

"Vhat de fuck ist possible?" Prussia swung at France but found himself quickly restrained by the shorter England.

"_We're screwed aren't we_?" Matthew sighed.

"_Pretty much_."

"Vhy?" It was growing harder and harder to deny Prussia his answers as his thrashing increased. In a sudden burst of strength, he threw England over his shoulder and into France. He roughly grabbed Matthew by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in to hiss into his face, "Vhat's _possible_?"

"That your memory loss is caused by Russia's activities."

"Vhat coult he do to do dat?" Behind Matthew he could hear his parents getting up, Francis sounded furious.

"We don't know. Usually something like it is self-inflicted." Or in China's case, _boss_-inflicted.

"Get off my sweet Mathieu!" Francis reached out to grab Matthew back, but Prussia spun the man in his arms and shoved him off at the blondes, knocking them all to the floor. The callus albino snorted and responded with, "If, more ofden dan nod, id ist zelf-inflicdet, efer doughd dat I zimply don't _vant_ to remember you?"

Matthew heard his heart thud in his chest. It sort of would make sense. Yeah, he forgot everything he didn't like… He always suspected that Gilbert resented him in some way. What _normally_ straight man wouldn't? Gilbert was a prideful man, it would have made sense but… But nothing. He was tired of all this damn doubt, Gilbert wasn't a man to run away from his past. He was _proud_ of surviving and was the first to make the move to have a kind of relationship.

Matthew thrust himself up from the floor and walked over to Prussia, "Russia has done this…" He _growled_ with conviction so fierce Arthur and Francis stayed their movements. Prussia just quirked his brow and gave him a sort of "oh really" kind of look. All the frustration and pain of the last few days assaulted him all at once. However, instead of producing a maelstrom of sanity-devouring depression and anger, all was calm… That was when Matthew truly decided his course of action. He was going to _kick_. **Russia's**. _**Ass**_!

()()()()()

Notes:

Mushroomhead-One of my favorite bands and are starting a new tour soon :D

Au revoir-Goodbye

Wo sind meine schuhen-Where are my shoes?

Was tust'n du-What are you doing?

"He had his suspicions about Buchanan…"- James Buchanan, 15th president of the United States of America (April 23rd, 1791-June 1st, 1868) he is the only president from Pennsylvania and hereto, the only bachelor. There were suspicions that the reason he was a bachelor was because he was in a relationship with his long-time housemate (of 15 years) Alabama Senator William Rufus King. King became Vice President under Franklin Pierce. He became ill and died shortly after Pierce's inauguration, just four years before Buchanan became President. Buchanan and King's close relationship prompted Andrew Jackson to refer to King as "Miss Nancy" and "Aunt Fancy", while Aaron V. Brown spoke of the two as "Buchanan and his wife." Contemporary press today and the surviving letters between the two men elude to "the affection of a special friendship" However, fun fact of the day, he has made himself into the top 10 worst presidents in American history…

Six degrees-This is Celsius my American readers XD Canada goes by Celsius so therefore, when referring to degrees of course he doesn't use Fahrenheit. It's about 42 degrees for us Americans.

Pölsa-A hash-like food similar to haggis.

Blåbärssoppa-Called "blueberry soup" in English, it is a warm drink made from the thickened juice of the bilberry.

Blodkorv-Same thing as Blutwurst which is just blood sausage. It's a sausage stuffed with the coagulated blood of a pig, cow or sheep instead of filler in between the actual meat inside it.

Frederick-I told you to keep an eye on him ;)

Roderich-Prick.

SORRY THIS IS SOOOOO LATE! I have no idea the last time I updated this story and I am really sorry. I love this story so much that I can't even try to write while having writer's block because I don't want it to be shitty. I'M SORRY FOR THE BA-GILLIANTH TIME! Don't hate me Q_Q I love all of you!


	12. These Things

I'm sitting here in my Pjs, favorite television show in the background and a drink in hand… Never been more comfortable and never been more thankful to you guys who have been putting up with my late updates. It makes me so happy that I can entertain people with my ideas. I love you all. So, here is chapter 12~!

EDITED! YAAAAY, should be slightly less confusing now and it has been slightly extended :D

()()()()()

These Things

"_Let's make a fast plan, watch it burn to the ground  
__I try to whisper, so no one figures it out  
__I'm not a bad man, I'm just overwhelmed  
__It's cause of these things, it's cause of these things_

_The crowd on the street walks slowly, don't mind the rain  
__Lovers hold hands to numb the pain,  
__Gripping tightly to something that they'll never own_

_And those by themselves by choice or by some reward  
__No mistakes only now you're bored  
__This is the time of your life but you just can't tell_" -She Wants Revenge

()()()

As per usual, the nations all trickled into the building slowly, the bulk of them arriving at about ten minutes to twelve. Canada sat in his usual place, drumming his fingers on the table and staring across at where Germany sat with Italy and Prussia on his other sides. Prussia was, strangely enough, not harassing the Italian. But that was a Gilbert behavior because the two had grown to rather like each other, they were practically family and all. Canada also saw it as a bad sign when Germany didn't even greet the small Italian upon his arrival. Then again, they did currently have a trade embargo going on and that meant they didn't necessarily get along.

Upon the United States of America's arrival at two minutes to twelve, everyone sighed with irritation. Ever since World War two he had been their designated meeting leader. Of course this was a self-designation, everyone else preferred England or even _Germany_ over him.

Today though, as he sat down, he was oddly quiet… Come to think of it… The whole _room_ was. Slightly, Canada wondered why that was, he looked around the room at the various faces, there were people missing of course. Most of them missing were from the African continent, some from South America and a couple from Asia… These were the usual people missing though and so he did find it odd that everyone was holding up.

His eyes drifted to where Belarus sat and suddenly he figured out what it was, Russia wasn't present… That bastard! Next he looked back to Prussia who was irritably drumming his fingers (it was about the only sound in the room) and Canada knew if they waited much longer things were going to get nasty even without the huge nation's presence.

Nudging America's arm with his elbow, he caught his brother's attention, he quirked his brow at him and Canada mumbled, "Shouldn't we start… Or something?"

"Y'know what'll happen if we start without him…" America murmured back and Canada gave him an odd look.

"Since when do you-"

"Since we are in a delicate situation."

"Who says we are in a delicate situation?" Canada was becoming a little bit alarmed.

"My boss." America about hissed and their conversation seemed to have caught the attention of just about everyone in the room.

"Is 'ere somethin' ya want t' share with th' class?" England said, his bad mood showing itself. America's eyes dragged themselves over the room and he supposed it was alright to share it with them.

"I'm sure all y'all know," America stood, shifting a paper he had in front of him, "at least, those in and around Europe, that our bosses are keeping information from us." Almost all the nations nodded. "The only thing that we seem to all be able to agree on, is that this information concerns _Russia_." People all nodded and mumbled to each other. "I was told the other day to go aid Canada for an unknown reason against Russia. He was within the nation and Canada didn't appear to know…" Everyone looked to Canada then and the blonde looked over to Prussia who seemed to just be sitting and listening. He was probably assuming that this was some time ago. "I'm sure you can all guess what this means."

If a nation was unaware of another within their boarders, it meant that the nation that had entered was doing well to hide himself and did not _want_ to be found. This was usually the sign of some sort of invasion attempt.

"Why Canada though, aru?" China asked, he _was_ one of Russia's neighbors after all and had experienced nothing out of the ordinary from the man.

"I don't know." It was kind of a lie, Russia had said he wanted Prussia for some reason and he hoped that Alfred would take the hint and not say anything. But on the side it wasn't a lie, he had no idea what the man _wanted_ with him. Why now did he suddenly have his sights on a dead man?

"I think it has something to do with Prussia." God damn it America! Everyone suddenly was chattering and looking over to the confused-looking nation. The chattering slowly rose as people slowly grew more and more opinionated on the matter.

Canada kept his eyes firmly on the slowly more and more angry Prussian, Germany put his hand to his brother's shoulder and he smacked it off, standing.

"Vhat de fuck voult he vant vid me?" Prussia yelled over the din and everyone quieted. "If I remember correctdy, I'm **deat**, righd?" Germany grabbed Prussia's arm and pulled him back down to the chair where Prussia wrestled his arm back. Many people immediately sensed something was up. There was no gloating that _of course_, Russia would want him back. He was just _so_ awesome. "Vhat does de baschtart hef to _gain_ by vanting me? Id's nod like ve cahn ead each oder to absorp schtrength…" He was actually being intelligent, oh shit, Canada rubbed his face nervously. "Id's a preposderous itea." The albino hissed at the end and received not much response from everyone else, "Vhat?" he yelled at them, "You ditn'd dink dat I coult be _reazonable_?"

"Not really…" America said and Prussia shot him an evil look.

"As much as I 'ate t' say it, Prussia's right." England took over next, standing up and marveling at just how _quiet_ this meeting was. Usually they quickly spiraled out of control, maybe everyone felt the tension of Russia showing hostilities again. If anyone could potentially bring upon World War three it would be _that_ behemoth of a man. "If it is 'im 'at 'e wants, we dunno why. He doesn' seem t' 'ave much a reason. But, I will say 'at 'is unannounced visit t' Canada is of concern. 'E coulda been doin' _anythin' _surveyin' a good place t' invade, talkin' t' foreign agents. An' 'ow can we assume 'e 'as only been doin' it wi' _Canada_?" His huge eyebrows climbed up his forehead and the tension in the room grew thicker. No one said a word of speculation for fear of breaking it. "Germany, 'ave _you_ been seein' anythin' weird goin' on?"

Germany drummed his fingers, happy that Prussia was, for once, willing to be quiet, "No. Noding veird, I haven'd really been paying addention to Russia as I haf been wrapped up in my own affairs as of lade." Everyone knew he meant his now indefinable political relationship with Italy.

"Well 'en, 'oo's t' say 'at Russia 'asn't given good ol' distracted _Germany _'ere a visit?" Again there were no words and England sighed, sitting back down. Maybe he preferred it when things were loud, at least then you got to hear even the smaller nation's opinions.

It was for the best in the end that no one spoke because once England sat down, who would stroll in, but the very missing man.

"Am I interruptink zomedink?" Russia asked when he noticed the room totally silent. Canada felt his blood heat up in his veins, but he kept himself in control, it wasn't necessarily his fault he was so close to Prussia the moment, his chair _was_ by the door.

"No, not at all…" France switched his gaze over to the tense Canadian and hoped Russia would sit down soon. It was not to be so, however, Russia looked down at Prussia who had since turned minutely in his chair to stare at him over his shoulder.

"Is dere zomedink wrong, East Germany?" Prussia flexed his hand against the desk, feeling anger flood into his being. The old man in his head was raving mad and at the same time urged him to simply sit there and take it.

"No." He said simply and the room waited for what would come next. Nobody really noticed Canada slowly pushing his seat out should he need to suddenly jump up.

"Den vhy are you lookink ad me like dat?"

"Can you please take your sead, Russia?" Germany asked and Russia looked to him, the look made his blood run cold and his muscles freeze.

"Can you not zee dat I am havink conversation Господин Германия?" Russia was far past feigning his usual innocence and hiding behind a cute face. There was something that truly was irritating him today.

"Yes, bud you're holding up de meeting." The shorter blonde managed to keep his voice even and Russia sighed.

"Ve vill pick dis up later den." Russia made a move to put his hand on Prussia's shoulder, but had his wrist caught in Germany's vise-like hand.

"Jus' **sid**." Definitely a bad move as everyone in the room caught their breath. Tension built up to phenomenal levels then. The whole room, even America and Spain held their breaths in the moments it took Russia to realize what had just happened.

"You are orderink me, da?" The big man reached to his wrist and easily pried Germany's fingers from him. Canada had since stood, but still no one paid mind as what Germany did next would be the deciding factor in this meeting.

"Only a suggestion." Germany said politely and Russia gave a sickeningly sweet smile.

"I dought zo." A cracking noise filled the room and Germany let out a yelp as he wrenched his hand back, his ring finger having been folded back on itself.

Prussia sprung to his feet and grabbed Russia by the collar of his shirt, "Fucker!" Austria, Hungary and Switzerland all stood up at once and grabbed Prussia, yanking him from the huge, smiling man. Italy, meanwhile was trying to get a look at Germany's hand, him adamantly refusing.

"Hold up!" America called, other nations springing to their feet should their help be needed, "We don't need a fight today, sit all y'all's butts down **now**." Prussia still struggled against the three holding him and Russia averted his gaze to America.

"Of course!" he replied cheerily, turning and going back to his seat, not caring to pay a wit of attention to Prussia hacking and spitting onto the back of his coat.

"I said sit down!" America yelled again at the three European nations and Austria with Switzerland shoved Prussia back down into his seat.

"_Bleib_!" The Swiss hissed at Prussia and the albino swung at him, before he left and took his seat again. Germany just glared over at Russia, his broken finger demanding proper attention.

Canada had taken his seat since. Fuck that the German brothers were the ones that had caused the problems in this.

"Now that everyone is here and everythin' is calm again… We can actually start!" America began and the meeting truly began. It was never touched on in the presence of Russia the whole issue with Prussia and his unannounced visit to Canada. That was a meeting for a different time with a smaller amount of people. Mostly, they went over how economies were fairing… Shittily as usual. Then the topic of how stopping climate change! Equally shitty.

"I don't think you have the right to judge, America when you're pretty bad yourself." Someone America didn't care to listen to said.

"But I have California! C'mon! If it were a country itself it would rank to be the 10th best economy and the greenest! C'mon! Biggest wind farm, biggest solar-power plant, most powerful geothermal installation!" America whined as a rebuttal.

"But you put out fifty percent more emissions per dollar than the _entire_ European Union." Canada reminded him and America looked to his brother with a sense of betrayal.

"Bigger is not arways better." And America's feeling of betrayal went up again as his eyes drifted to fall on Japan. His husband looked away from him and America sighed, he supposed that he should actually listen to him. Mostly considering Japan ranked at twenty-one in greenest nations and he was all the way down at thirty-nine. Even more so he had to listen to his brother because he ranked twelfth, but! But! He had… Oh never mind. Japan had been like this for _days_ now, was there something wrong with him? Maybe he should say something later… Or no, men don't do things like that… Do they? Well, he was kind of _gay_ wasn't he?

And there came the clench in his stomach… _Gay_… _Homosexual… Faggot… __**Cock-sucker**_… One would figure America capable of getting over such labels as he rarely seemed to care what the rest of the world thought of him anyway. Many times in a day he had to remind himself that it didn't matter, no one cared. And why should he care what they thought if they _did_ disapprove of his choice? He was happily married, he _loved_ Kiku more than he could say.

Of course, he had yet to figure out how Canada had lived with being this way all his life. But, his quick acceptance of himself was obviously what lead to the eventual passing of pro-gay marriage laws. Occasionally, America wished to speak with Sweden, the first of them to truly come out and say he didn't give a shit. Or, well, more like he d'dn't g'v a sh't.

Anyway, across the room, as America was having his squabble, Prussia and Germany sat. Prussia didn't really understand what the whole thing was about and busied himself with a pen. Germany just chose to stay out of it as he was immediately behind Canada at thirteen.

"_Hey, West._" Prussia began off-handedly, flipping the pen around his gloved finger.

"_What do you want_?" He thought his little brother odd for responding to him like that, but maybe who he was now was annoying during meetings. All his sources pretty much said that by people's reactions to his talking earlier.

"_Your finger is alright_?"

"_Throbbing, maybe broken, but fine._" Germany wondered what his finger getting broken would mean for his relationship with Russia. Were their bosses fighting, breaking more proverbial fingers? Well, he had clearly spelled out that he was going to be on Prussia's side, no matter what Russia did to him.

"_You sure_?"

"_I'm a grown man. I'm sure. You don't need to worry about me so much_." He sighed, ignoring his brother's unwarranted concern.

"_Always am going to. Even if I've never met the man I'm supposed to be, I am sure that he is still the same way_."

"Sure _he is._"

"_You doubt him_? _Or, I guess I should actually say, me_?"

Germany looked to his brother then and sighed, "No, I don'd. Maybe he is like dat _somevhere_ inside. Bud I hefn'd seen it from you in avhile."

"Vhy ist dat?" Prussia quirked an eyebrow, wondering what would _ever_ possess him to suddenly stop caring about the well-being of his little brother.

"Many dings… You vill probably remember dem sometime soon." Like how he dismantled him, gave him to Russia to be abused for a few decades… How he just plain grew up. What Germany found very odd at the moment though, was Prussia's affection. Usually he only ever said such things or acted this way when they were in private a long time ago. Canada must've made it perfectly clear that people really didn't care what he did anymore. Also must've told him that showing caring for someone else was more widely accepted than being callous and an asshole.

Next door, Italy sat beside Romano and he looked at the man literally inches away from him. And of course, he wasn't even allowed to speak to him. Why had he agreed to something so stupid? Oh, because extremely rough sex wasn't exactly something he was wanting at that time. Was it correct for him to say he didn't want _any_ kind of sex from Germany now? Surely… Surely there was _some _part of him that did… At least, he hoped there was. When one falls out of love, they look back upon the loving as something else… He just looked back upon it as the happiest years of his unnatural life. And now that it was gone, he begged whoever had taken it away to return it. He still loved Germany but he didn't _love _him.

Italy, to be honest, wasn't sure when the love had started to fade. Really he wasn't. He remembered the passing years vividly and they made him cry. Now he wanted to do something like that with women! _Only_ women for a reason he was unable to comprehend. There were no female nations he liked like that. He was acquainted with Hungary, but it was obvious that even after their marriage was gone that Austria and her still had a thing. He had nothing for her really, she was a friend (if she could be called that) and nothing more. Human women only brought heartache and he could have swore that he once was able to look upon the human male and see them as attractive too… Of course, humans in _general_ invited ill feelings as one could not properly love them without smothering the flame of their souls.

Now the thought of communion with another man didn't exactly sicken him, but it just didn't feel right. He remembered the first time he and Germany had made love after he was well from his odd ailment. Ludwig was frantic, Ludwig was lustful, _Ludwig_ made love… Feliciano… He took it, hoping to feel better about the situation by the end… No such thing happened and he wept long after Ludwig had said his "I love you"s. He wept for the man whose heart he was to break, he wept for his own extinguished flame of passion and he wept for the life he knew he was going to be deprived of.

It was more than clear to him that Ludwig was never to get over his saying those horrible words… Feliciano couldn't believe _himself_ when he had finally said them. It had taken him three months to finally get them out. Three painful months of knowing he was disappointing Ludwig in some small way, soon to be a _huge_ way.

"_I'm sorry Ludwig… I can't say it." Feliciano sobbed into Ludwig's coat._

"_Can'd say vhat?" The German pushed him back and gripped him hard by both shoulders. He looked at him, alarm in his eyes and a pleading for what he could have swore he heard was not true._

"_I don't love you like _that_ anymore…" Feliciano lamented, clutching hard to Germany and the blonde just stared straight ahead, unable to process what he had been told. "I still want to be friends… But we can't…" Germany grabbed him harshly by the back of his shirt and thrust him away._

"_You don'd jus' zuttenly schotp lofing zomevon!" His tone was furious, the way his muscles bulged also would lead one to believe that he was… "Vhy? Vhy voult you zay dat?" But a simple look to his face, a cursory glance over his eyes would tell all… Italy could do little more at that point than turn and run from him. Germany was broken on the inside. He wouldn't be the same, oh he would act the same… But on the inside he would be nothing but a pile of broken glass._

The constitution of the nation's body is one made to withstand time and kingdoms, rises and falls of leaders… The heart though, is as fragile as any human's, maybe more so as a nation knows they can truly face an eternity of sorrow and longing. Italy hated to be the one to prove that. He hated what he had done to Germany, and knew he would never get his friend back.

Germany had been trying his best to be friendly. _Friendly_, not loving… It wasn't really working out, it always lead to more anger, more pain and more tears. This embargo was not meant to give them some temporary break. Feliciano knew it was the end of a friendship.

While everyone else and their grandmother seemed to be having some great introspective moments, Canada was growing bored with this meeting. He wanted to go home and crawl back into bed to wake up with Prussia beside him once more. The fighting bored him and he was either to get his wish or he would openly assault Russia out of the blue then and there. Pity that he had morals and couldn't simply _do_ that. No, Russia needed to make the first move and Germany had blocked that. If Russia had managed a hand to Prussia though, it was all over for that one-ton bastard.

Another hour passed and Prussia had since fallen asleep on the large table. Canada smiled, Gilbert did that too, though usually much earlier in the meetings.

America stood and yawned, "Okay guys, meetin' ad… Ad…"

"Adjourned?" England supplied.

"No! Meetin' over." England rolled his eyes and stood, heading out of the room. America just grinned but that was quickly staunched by Japan leaving and not bothering to wait for him. Sighing, he pursued him.

"Y' d'n't h'v t' g' h'm b't y' c'nn't st'y h'r." Sweden announced and there was a chorus of "What?" in many different languages as everyone stood to leave.

"You don't have to go home but you cannot stay here." Finland translated for them and then the chorus was of "oh". He shook his head and smiled fondly, heading after Sweden as he left the room. He was probably going to look for Peter.

"Prussia, wake up." Matthew jostled Prussia's shoulder. Curiously, Germany had already departed, but his finger was broken after all. He did little more than smack his hand away. "Don't make me bring out the-"

"_Nein_!" Prussia shot up and looked him up and down. "You ditn'd bring von vid you anyvay." Prussia grinned and Matthew made a face.

"What else am I supposed to do in the bathroom during a long, _boring _meeting, eh?" He was only joking, but Prussia didn't have to know that.

For a reason unknown to him, Prussia felt a wave of arousal at that thought. _No! No! It's disgusting! What the fuck is wrong with you old man?_ His conscious laughed at him and he felt his face turning red, "Veirto."

"Not really one to talk, are you?"

"Schud up." Matthew noticed Prussia's eyes flick to behind him so he turned to see just what he was looking at. There stood Austria and Hungary. Matthew's stomach dropped to the floor, Prussia had always had something for Hungary…

"Uhm, hello… Eh…" Hungary smiled, but returned her attention to Prussia after a second. Austria, however, quirked his eyebrows at Canada. One of Matthew's eyebrows climbed up his forehead but Austria didn't appear forthcoming in an answer, and so looked to Prussia.

"Hi Gil." Hungary sounded unsure, her hand slipping behind her into her pan-space.

"_Hallo_, Elizeveta." The albino almost sounded gentlemanly… On the inside though, he was more than a little bit distracted. His conscience was throwing out waves upon waves of irritation at the very sight of Hungary. Where Prussia wanted to simply admire her tracts of land and maybe get some sexual harassment in, the old man was raving mad at him. Didn't _he_ ever do things like this? Surely he did, no one that willingly screws themselves could have been anything _less _than a sexual deviant.

"I hear you're not all there right now…" He heard Elizeveta say past his contemplations.

"Vell, by 'nod ahll dere righd now' vhat do you mean?" The old man was beginning to become hard to ignore. The impulses were for him to get up and walk away during mid-conversation, to shove her away, to do _something_ to distance himself from the woman. What in Hell was his problem? Just because… _Oh_…

"I mean you're not yourself. I have been told you are suffering from a kind of dissociative amnesia."

"Uhm… A vhat?"

"You don't remember most of your history."

"I remember _mosd_ of id… Jus noding afder vorlt var two." Prussia had to be careful to remember that he was supposed to be in a relationship with someone… Just _who_ that was, he didn't know and probably no one would tell him. Hell, the person he was involved with might have very well been told to stay away from him in his current state. More than anything that just made him angry but his conscience was now making him consider what he did to Matthew for some stupid reason. Oh, wait, Matthew was supposed to be his best friend right? Shaking out his head, he chose to ignore the annoying man in the back of his head. "Bud don'd dink dat dat affecds my abilidy to-"

"I'm going to stop you there, Gil." Hungary said with a smile and Prussia stood, taking a few steps towards her. "Please sit down." By the tensing of Hungary's arm, Matthew could tell she had a firm grip upon her frying pan.

"Vhy-"

"Prussia." Matthew cut him off and the albino gave him an irritated look. "You shouldn't… She's been able to beat you up since day one after all." he said, chuckling quietly to himself.

"You should listen to him." Prussia looked back to Hungary then, "He knows quite a bit more about today's affairs than you do." Everyone heard Austria snort but only Matthew caught from the corner of his eye the distasteful look directed at the boy. What was his problem? Was he mad that Matthew didn't know how to fix it? Or was there something past the surface tension? Like a pit of tar disguised by a layer of water above it.

Prussia, as usual, just made a witty rebuttal to Hungary's warning and got back to their conversation. It irritated Matthew how easily the throwback talked to Hungary. As if they were friends and she a prospective lover. It was so distracting he almost didn't notice when the Austrian disappeared out of the conference room…

Giving Prussia a sidelong look and flicking his eyes to Hungary, the brunette understood she was to stay with him in case Russia returned. Matthew gave her a thankful nod and pursued the aristocrat, going by merely the click of his boots in the almost empty hallways. Where was he going?

The footsteps lead him up a flight of stairs and down two more confusing hallways of empty conference rooms. When would any of these rooms ever need to be used compared to the many downstairs? Or perhaps the building was designed to hold many in a crisis? Well, that definitely was an afterthought to the place as each room seemed to be specifically designed for meetings. They might as well call it a convention center or something.

There was the creak of a door suddenly and Austria's steps stopped. Accordingly, Matthew halted his step, should the man be listening for a stalker he did not wish to give himself away. As the sound of a door closing met him, an idea did as well. What if Austria was in league with Russia somehow? What if they were meeting up here? If he were found it could mean he was in grave trouble with no help, but he could at least go down fighting. Great, now he sounded like his brother.

Sighing and shaking his head he walked the rest of the way down to the door Austria had went in (it was the only closed door). He carefully put his ear to the heavy oak door and listened. It was amazing he could hear anything past it, but he caught vague mumbles. Only Austria's voice too. Was he talking on the phone with Russia?

Quickly the door was wrenched open from beneath Canada's weight and he stumbled into the room, Austria behind him, closing the door.

"Nice for you to join the class."

()()()

"Why do you even want to know?" Hungary asked Prussia, she and he sitting down at the large table. Sweden was standing by giving them a rather unflattering look as he wanted to be able to leave. The two just ignored the imposing man, Finland would appear at any moment and drag him away.

"Isn'd id my righd to know? If I zupposetly _lof_ dem afderahll…" Elizeveta hummed in the back of her throat.

"Though it might be, Prussia, you wouldn't love this person how you are now." She explained, "You're too different from the you we love here."

"_Lof_ you zay?" Prussia's lips twitched and pulled back in a smirk. Wrong word to use in retrospect, especially when it was Elizeveta using the word. His hand was beginning to reach for her chest "Coult id be-" She firmly smacked it away.

"No." The brunette hissed at him. "It's not me. You're practically my brother Gil-Prussia."

"Und I remember vonce dat I callt _Österreich _mine." Prussia let a vindictive hiss of a chuckle from between his lips. "Vhat does dat make you den?" He laughed in his throat. "_Eine inzestuöse Hure_?" Another laugh and Elizeveta brought a pan to his head. This knocked him from his chair, he stumbling and smacking into the wall. "You hid like a fucking girl!" Prussia roared, wiping blood from his temple.

"Aren't you the least bit concerned for your state?" Hungary sprung up from her seat as Sweden moved to stand in between the two. Prussia tried to shove the taller man from his way, but was easily subdued by a calm hand to his shoulder.

"If yo'r g'ing t' f'ght h'r' g' O'ts'de." The two combating nations gave him a simple look of "what". His brow furrowed and he picked Prussia (kicking and punching) up by the back of his coat collar, walking out to the front door of the building and depositing him outside on the steps. "Th'r'." Berwald said with finality, walking past Hungary back into the confines of the meeting building.

Trying to regain a bit of dignity, Prussia smoothed out his clothes and looked back to Hungary, his eyes steely. The woman merely looked away shaking her head.

"I could never tell you anyway. Not when you're acting this way."

"Und vhy nod?" His breath was an angry cloud in front of him in the cold, the wind blowing it away.

"You would get mad. I owe it to your lover not to tell you."

"Vhy voult I ged _mat_? I'fe fallen in lof und apparendly, dey lof me back. Id only took me fife cenduries! Vhat voult _I_ hef to be mat aboud?" He stomped his foot on the steps, taking an angry step towards her, his hand ready to spring for his gun. Elizeveta looked down, she couldn't bear to tell him. This Prussia was well-known for his misplaced anger. Anger at himself was always placed on the ones he cared most about, anger at someone he cared about, was placed on the nearest living thing to him. Most of the time, the living thing wasn't by the end of his fury.

"Your lover…" She took a deep breath, knowing that in some way her words betrayed Canada, but she had to make Prussia understand.

"She vhat?" His voice had lightened, hope was in his eyes.

"He loves you more than anything." There was a moment of silence. Nothing was to be heard from Prussia or his companion. Only the wind and the sounds of humans going about their lives.

Wait… Humans!

"_Nein_." Prussia firmly asserted. "_Lügner_!" He declared in a feral growl, taking out his gun. She slipped between him and the passing by humans on the sidewalk.

"I'm not lying Prussia." He wouldn't use the gun and even if he did, he was dead, it wouldn't hurt her, but the people behind her…

"Zoh, you're trying to make me belife dat I'm… I'm a…" Slowly his anger was blending with mortification.

"Does it matter? It's still love." Elizeveta put her pan away and started to walk towards him.

"Vhy?" He yelled, back-stepping from her.

"Love is love, Prussia. It's not like anyone has ever thought less of you for _that_." No, he was an idiot during meetings all on his own. His devotion to Matthew played no part in his assholishness, in fact, it might have even made him better.

"_Ich bin nicht schwul_!" He struck out at her with his gun, grazing her head. It sounded a whole lot like someone in denial to her. Of course, to him it was quite true. Prussia never thought of men in such a way before Matthew. He had admitted it to Germany, Austria, herself even! Hell, he had said he hadn't even felt such a way about Hungary at the height of his lust and infatuation for her. Matthew made him happy.

"Why is it so terrible?" Hungary asked the delirious man. He just looked at her with hatred, his red eyes practically glowing.

"Vhy do you dink id's okay? Id's zick! Men do nod do zuch… Dings togeder!"

"If I remember correctly, you used to-"

"Dat vasn'd de zame! Dey neeted punishmend!" His eyes were wild and desperate, him fighting his calm conscience all the way. The old man inside him even tried to calm him, _worried_ for the health of those around him! What in fuck's name had happened to him? He was some kind of pussy! A cock-sucking faggot at that!

Prussia suddenly felt his legs go weak, his head split with pain down the middle. He grabbed at his head and screamed his defiance at the sky.

"Prussia?" Hungary grabbed his arms to steady him as he lost balance. She slowly lowered him down the concrete as he began to thrash and scream with more vigor. Cursing to herself, she started dragging him up the stairs to the building, hopefully Sweden hadn't locked them out.

_Pain ripped up his back, tore the skin away and he screamed for the torture to cease again and again. There was always some kind of apology after every lash. An apology from a pair of very familiar lips._

_The blonde was crying as Prussia lay on the floor at his feet, bleeding into the concrete. He tried to explain to him that he didn't want to do it. His boss was making him. Oh but this was only the start, his boss would make him do even more horrible things in the years to come._

_The pain and abuse didn't end there though, it carried on, some new piece of him dissolving every so often. His being was slowly becoming emptier and emptier as time went on. His existence only held upon the name he had. He was but a theoretical country now, he had a boss by the name of Hermann Göring, it was his last claim to nationhood._

_A furious hatred of his brother bloomed in his chest._

"_Bruder_! _Bruder_!" Prussia heard from the peripherals, the pain was unbearable and Gilbert did little to stop the pain. Perhaps the presence didn't feel it. Maybe the memory was some sort of punishment, it sure hurt enough to make him believe as such. "Gilbert!" Strong hands gripped his sides and he shoved the big blonde off him.

"_Get away, you bastard_!" Prussia scrambled to his feet, knocking back Hungary.

"_What did you call me_?" Ludwig asked, his older brother hadn't used such language since… "_You remembered, didn't you_?"

"_Remembered your being a sadistic fuck_! _Yes_! _I did_! _After everything I ever did for you_! _You did that_?" Prussia rushed his brother and landed a solid punch to his jaw. Hungary just let him, yes, Germany didn't deserve his pain now. He had paid for it years over, but it was something to get Prussia's mind off the prior revelation. Maybe after getting out his anger, he would be more receptive. And if not, at least he would be tired.

As the brothers rolled on the floor, each slugging it out (Germany in self-defense), Hungary turned to Italy, "Has he said anything?"

"Ve, no. He won't even let me touch him. He splinted his finger by himself." The lone woman nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. There were no words she could give him to end his heartache. Germany was adamant in anything he ever chose to do and if ignoring Italy was what he wanted… Well, Italy was just going to have to figure out what he did last time Germany tried ignoring him. Though, she supposed, this time was quite different. Last time it had just been trying for friendship. Trying to make a broken heart hurt any less would be nigh impossible.

"Let's give them some privacy, okay?" She said sweetly, fluffing his hair up in a gentle way. He nodded and slunk from the room, wincing at a noise Ludwig made when his finger was caught and twisted.

"_I see why I don't give a shit about you anymore_!" Prussia twisted the broken finger once more and kneed his groin, spitting on the downed German. "_You fucking queer_!" His boot harshly dug into Germany's side. "_What the fuck did you do to me_?" He didn't even take notice that his boot connected with his little brother's face. The only part of it that caught his eye was the blood that shimmered on the filigree.

Adrenaline rushed into his veins and his teeth clenched as a whimper escaped Germany. He kicked him again in the back then further up on his head before squatting down and grabbing his gelled hair. Prussia pulled his head up by his mouth, his lips to the auricle of Germany's ear.

"_All you ever did was take, take, take_!" He yelled, Germany's already ringing ears rang louder as he just took the abuse. His brother had never the choice to do this so long ago… He deserved this. "_The one thing you gave me was your fucking disease_!" A rough shake and Prussia ground the bloody and bruised face into the ground. "_Look at you_! _You can't even defend yourself against a dead man_! _You flaming faggot_!"

Germany braced himself for another blow to his face and before Prussia could speak again he spat a good amount of blood into his face to shut him up.

However, as Ludwig took his deep breaths to calm himself and listened to Prussia grumbling to himself about how much of fag he was he realized what this more was about. _Someone_ had let something slip hadn't they…

"_When did this become about my loving Italy_?" He asked and Prussia just dropped him to wipe down his face. "_I thought this was about because I hurt you. It was about me following my orders to dismantle you against my will._" Prussia didn't have an answer for him. "_You're just beating on me because I found someone that cares for me who isn't you_?" That was an unrealistic approach to it, but if he was going to get the actual answer, he had to provoke Prussia's "you're wrong" response. Ludwig sat up and shook his head, he wouldn't be able to stand. At least Prussia couldn't really hurt him, nothing was broken, his finger just complained. Wait a second. Germany took a deep breath and winced, he had a cracked rib… What?

The blonde looked to Prussia suspiciously, he wasn't even paying him mind anymore. He was just standing there staring blankly into space. What was he _really_ mad about? There was the possibility that Hungary had told him he was in love with Canada, but wouldn't he be raving or… Ludwig recalled a time a long time ago. Prussia had made some sort of stupid action and instead of dealing with it like everyone else had, he had beaten Ludwig for it… He sighed and shook his head, the man was mad at himself.

"_Osten_?" Ludwig tried to gain his attention and got nothing. "_What's wrong_?" Prussia shook his head. _Wishing_ he could still put off his short-lived anger onto his little brother. But no, he felt acceptance of his brother's actions come over him, the hatred had, surprisingly, dwindled to just a dull ache. It wasn't even dislike, it was just a scar on his being. He suspected that his conscience was filling in the gaps of his memory for him. Filling in his gaps of understanding as well, calming him but unable to do much more than that.

_Why didn't you say something?_ Prussia asked himself and his conscience just shrugged, unable to give an audible reaction. _Why are you okay with it?_ A feeling of calm acceptance flowed from the hot, sentient point in his mind. It made him shiver with disgust, it made no sense!

"_Westen, who is it_?" Deep down, he didn't want to know, he might vomit if it turned out to be who he thought it was.

"_Who is who_?" Germany winced as he took in a breath too sharply. Usually, fist-fighting with Gilbert lead to his bruises healing within the hour, something told him he would actually need to attend to his rib.

"_The faggot_." Prussia _wouldn't_ say it. Calling any man his lover would make him less of who he was. Ludwig shook his head, "_Why can't you tell me_?"

"_Because you would hurt him._"

"_It's Canada isn't it…_" Ludwig didn't answer and just contemplated the richly-colored carpet of the room. "_Why_?" The albino hissed nastily.

"_You said he made you happy._" Wasn't that all that mattered in the end? If you could survive this shitty, prolonged existence _happily_? It didn't necessarily even matter where the happiness came from, whether it be from a person, or Denmark's approach. Denmark was happy in his romance with the bottle and its contained bitter-sweet liquids. Everyone knew that Norway gave up on him a long time ago as far as romance went.

Obviously, Prussia didn't understand this simple concept. Hell, Gilbert had barely been able to see it in the passing years since his freedom from Russia. Not that Germany could blame him though, when the guy wasn't with Matthew he was hanging around the house, either eating, on the damn computer or with some whore. Of course, Gilbert, proud as ever, would never admit his depression to anyone, it was a blessing he had found Matthew.

Prussia grabbed one of the wooden chairs and snapped it in half over his leg, "_Impossible_!" He slammed a fist down onto the huge oaken table and watched the wood split with the grain. His conscience still tried to calm him down, he must've been awful in this time. He was weak and _sensitive_… Shoving angrily against his conscience it shoved back… With vengeance even. The force of it nearly knocked Prussia off his feet, it made him dizzy and he sat on the split table.

Shakily, Prussia took the box of cigarettes from his pocket along with a lighter, lighting it. He took a deep drag and his conscience shoved against him again, making him nauseous and the room spin. To be honest, he would have vomited had he had true stomach contents. A headache joined the dizziness the next time the old man pressed against him, but by this time Germany was trying to make it to his feet. It appeared he had gathered that something was wrong.

"Gilbert?" Ludwig put his hands on Prussia's shoulders and looked him square in the eye. "_Are you feeling okay_?" Prussia just shook his head and flopped back on the table.

()()()

"Please don't call me a dick, it's so… Un-eloquent." Austria said as he sat down on one of the chairs in the room and cleaned his glasses.

"Sorry, I'm in an awful mood today." Canada explained, "To be completely fair, you have been acting like one." The brunette gave him a side-long look and sighed, slipping his glasses back on.

"That is because I find you… Irritating." Austria said frankly, looking around the room to admire it. It seemed to be a room meant for officials to take a break in. There was a coffee machine over in the corner with stocked supplies… He supposed a cup would do him good about now.

Standing he walked over to it to prepare a brew, Canada followed him with his eyes.

"Why do you find me irritating may I ask? I mean, most of the time you don't even acknowledge my existence. Just like everyone else." Canada said in a quiet voice, feeling a little less annoyed since it was clear Austria didn't really want to fight. He was still very curious why Austria had come to this room though.

"Oh no, I've been acutely aware of your presence for the past five years." What a strange coincidence… Matthew shrugged it off, perhaps that was all it was.

"Can I ask you something?" The blonde asked, calmly leaning against the door to the room as Austria retreated to the bathroom to get water.

"Do you want any?" The other asked, looking conceitedly over his shoulder at him. Canada just nodded his head and he went the rest of the way into the bathroom, "Is it important?"

"I think it is."

"Then it probably isn't." Echoed from within the bathroom, this was decidedly worse than talking to _Prussia_ of all people.

"Prussia told me that you got sick a long time ago. Is what Italy had the same thing?" There was no answer for the longest of times. When Austria finally walked out of the bathroom he looked as if he were thinking hard.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He replied after filling the coffee pot and setting it.

"It was right before the German civil war…" Matthew attempted to clarify.

"I was the one sick, so I believe I shoul-"

"Then you should know that you were sick. Prussia-"

"_Prussia_ is a liar, he always has been. You should know that." Austria narrowed his eyes at him, telling him to stop.

"So it is the same…" The man just ignored Canada and stared at the coffee machine as it did its work. "What does it do?"

"Prussia doesn't have it so what do you care?" Matthew shrugged and replied with, "Because Germany is my friend. If Italy had it and their problems started afterward, I was wondering if something like that happened with you." The Austrian sighed and drummed his fingers on the table the coffee pot was sitting on.

"Maybe something did." Austria prepared his cup with two creams and a sugar. "How do you take it?"

"A cream and a sugar." Canada informed him and waited for Austria to elaborate. When he didn't he asked "What exactly happened?"

"I loved Prussia once too, you know." Well that was a shocker. Matthew blinked at the aristocrat and stuttered a little bit. "I know, horrifying thought isn't it."

"I wouldn't say _horrifying_, surprising maybe… But I thought you and Hungary-"

"We married after the civil war if you didn't notice."

"You and Prussia have fought sin-"

"I am not naturally homosexual Canada." Roderich reminded him, filling their mugs with coffee. "And… If you have never noticed I house plenty of pent up anger." He took the coffee mug over to Canada and the blonde accepted it, his face still betraying all his surprise. "Back in that day, one feared what they didn't understand and for a _nation_ not to understand what was going on… Well, when humans learn to hate what they fear, we are much the same. Just a bit more violent I have found."

"All your fighting was because you didn't like loving him?" He was no different from Prussia himself…

"To an effect." The man responded with grace.

"Was anyone in their right mind back then?" Matthew took a sip of his coffee and Roderich snorted with amusement.

"No. You're young, so of course you would see it that way when it took myself forever to."

"So, you got sick and what happened?"

"I fell out of love." Roderich stated, "It wasn't anything big for me, I was happy. I loved Hungary too at the time, but loving Prussia at the same time confused things. I hated myself. I couldn't let myself and Hungary be together if I was so screwed up I thought of Prussia in the same way as her." He sipped his coffee and Matthew contemplated his words. Really he couldn't sympathize all that well with Austria as he hadn't really ever had the self-hating phase. He had his confusion phase, but he was so relieved when he finally learned what it was that confused him. Sure there was the fear of his brother not accepting him, but his parents were the same way (sort of) so it had never truly been a problem.

"So the disease just, makes you fall out of love?"

"I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but it does seem to be a basic effect. I haven't experienced any other lasting side-effects of the sickness other than it righted me."

"Do you think it 'righted' Italy?" Canada said with sudden venom in his voice and Roderich shook his head.

"No, I don't. It did neither of them good. And they were already in deep and loved each other back at that… But I never tried to fix what the fever did to me, so I don't know if the effects can be reversed." Matthew stared down into his coffee after that. Sure, it wasn't his business that Italy and Germany were having this problem, well, other than that Germany was his friend.

"It doesn't really matter if it's the same thing, I think."

"What?"

"I mean with what Gilbert has. It's ruined our relationship all the same." From the corner of his eye, Matthew swore he caught a triumphant smirk from the Austrian. He lifted his head to look at him and Austria hid his smirk by taking a sip. "You have feelings for him again, don't you…?" His company made no move to accept this, but he didn't deny it either. "You're an ass." Matthew dropped the mug of coffee and turned to leave.

"And you're alone. I'd rather be the ass and get what I want than be you." Canada slammed the door behind him and Austria looked to the carpet, "So uncultured."

()()()

"We're leaving." Matthew snorted, walking into the meeting hall. He didn't even question Germany's bruises or the worried looks on either of the present nations faces.

"Vhat happenet?" Ludwig asked as Matthew loaded Prussia onto his back. He didn't answer and just left with his unconscious friend. After seeing the look on his face, no one tried to stop him.

Hell if they were going to get in front of _that_ man angry.

()()()()()

Notes:

Господин Германия-Gospodin Germanii-Mister Germany

Österreich-Austria

Eine inzestuöse Hure-An incestuous whore

Lügner-Liar!

Ich bin nicht schwul-I am not gay!

Okay guys… Uhm, I have some explaining to do I know, I'm going to try my best never to go this long without updating this again, kay? I'm really sorry ^^; I will also try to keep my chapters better than this one, I just feel this one was poorly executed and boring. The next one will be better, I promise!


	13. From The Hips

Well now, this is quaint, I'm finally back for this story, hah. Took me forever I know even after I promised not much of a wait. Work slammed me and I've been writing everything on the go. Some things flow faster and those are what I've been posting.

Oh, uh, lol, I've been considering doing a Hetalia-Supernatural crossover XD I would appreciate it if some of you would at least give it a looksie since PruCan is a part of it. Well, enough stalling. I need'ta get this written! Enjoy!

()()()()()

From the Hips

"_We're at our best when it's from our hips  
__From our hips we don't give a shit  
__It just feels good, and that's no sin  
__It's the only way to feel alive  
__The closest thing to being born again  
__And when baby comes, it's job well done  
__Roll in the hay__Or roll around the sun_

_We're at our worst when it's from our lips  
__From our lips we caused a rift  
__And this world is falling in  
__From Babel to barroom brawls  
__Our words have formed a death sentence  
__And I wish that we had never talked  
__Our hips said it all"_-Cursive

()()()

_Prussia slowly came to in the nothing world of his mind. Oddly, he felt exhausted, like he'd gone ten rounds with a heavyweight boxing champ. Wait, he was in his mind, Gilbert was around…_

"_Yeah, I'm here. No shit." Gilbert called from somewhere to his left. Prussia sat up quickly and glared at the older version of himself with disappointment. Gilbert floated up from standing and crossed his legs above Prussia, staring down at him with a nasty smirk. "What? Something on your mind young one?"_

"_You make me want to vomit." Prussia spat on the non-existent ground._

"_I should think I do." The irreverent smirk turned into a grin as he flipped himself over, staring at Prussia from above, upside down. "I found love in the last place I ever looked. You __**never**__ found it." He "kesesesed" and lowered himself so his upside down face was parallel with Prussia's. "If you want to look at it in the basest of terms, he's a hole." Gilbert righted himself so they were staring each other right on. "A fucking sexy hole." Prussia gagged and Gilbert was losing patience "What's more is that he is _willing._ Yes, there have been many, many, __**many**__ sexy holes in the past. How many were willing, do you know? How many have you actually been able to wake up to in the morning? Been able to spend a second night with? Don't say you never thought of it. Don't fucking bullshit yourself. I stopped believing my own lies years ago." Prussia's glare became stronger. He didn't need someone to always be there for him. Love was a weakness, not awesome. More over, love between men was- "My bullshit meter is getting tired of your out-dated way of thinking. Besides, love is a weakness you say?"_

"_What use do we have for it?" Prussia hissed._

"_Remember how much you destroyed protecting _Westen_? When you can kill so effectively for the good of another. When you day feels less shitty just because they are there, I don't call that a weakness."_

"_Pussy." Prussia shrugged and Gilbert's brows furrowed. "How in hell did I grow so soft? I bet I wear make-up now and pick flowers! You fucking faggot!" A fist quickly met with Prussia's face. Infuriated, Prussia sprung up from the ground and grabbed Gilbert around the neck. The more experienced of the two easily broke free (also a few theoretical fingers), quickly grabbing and twisting his arm around to his back with ease._

"_Well, guess what, this faggot just owned your ass." Gilbert shoved him to the ground, he sitting down next to him afterwards. "Sexuality doesn't mean much to me. Who you prefer to sleep with isn't the single defining thing in who you are. I had hoped that you of all people would understand that. Ye who doesn't care what others think of him. Or maybe… You do. No, wait, I _know_ you do."_

"_Shut up." Prussia grumbled into the ground, his face red hot with anger and embarrassment._

"_No. Let me impart some indispensable knowledge to you," Gilbert leaned over and whispered into his ear, "Everything we ever were was just a ploy to hide our loneliness. We've always been cowardly, _afraid_ of our emotions because of what they could have done to us. Afraid of how others could have judged us." Gilbert stroked his younger self's hair gently, "I, however, grew up and realized this. You, you're still a child."_

"_Get off me!" Prussia shot up, shoving back against Gilbert. The older un-nation laughed, getting to his feet, beginning to pace as he spoke._

"_It was interesting to see, however, how you interacted with Elizeveta, Roderich, Ludwig… But you disrespect Matthew too much." Gilbert sighed, "Francis, thank God Antonio didn't-"_

"_Taken to only calling them by their _human_ names?"_

"_Of course. They're friends. Something you never really had."_

"Austria_, is a friend?"_

"_You find them in the most interesting of places. He has become a very close friend of mine in the last twenty years. Elizeveta, we have our…" He smirked and laughed, "Differences, we will say, but still close, we've decided she's my sister. But I think you know that." Gilbert gave a bitter, very mocking snort._

"_You and Canada… What the fuck happened there?" Prussia asked, clearly wanting a damn good explanation for _that_ abomination._

"_Think our relationship an abomination one more time and I'll show you how abominable I can be." A wide, malicious grin spread over Gilbert's face, he leaning down, lowering his voice to a hiss so Prussia had to lean in to hear, "It won't be long you know. I can feel my control over you growing."_

"_What won't be long?"_

"_Is that fear I hear?" Another laugh, this time edged with his usual self-satisfied haughtiness, "I believe it is… You're going to be long gone. And it's only going to be me in here," Gilbert tapped his head. If Prussia had blood in this space he was pretty sure his skin would have gone transparent as it flowed away from his face. Gilbert laughed evilly, something he had not been able to indulge in for years. "You can feel it too! My emotions being yours!" And Prussia clapped his hands over his ears, shutting his eyes tightly to his tormentor, the laughing twisting and distorting as the dream ended._

Prussia awoke in a bed, his heart racing, sweat making the sheets cold and uninviting. He sat up, taking deep breaths to steady himself. The hot pinpoint in the back of his mind laughed at him and try as he did to block it out to no avail. Never before had he so acutely realized how much he feared assimilation back into the man he was supposed to be now. Should he fear though? Gilbert _was_ him… But for the moment he was independent from him, didn't that mean that he had as much right to try to be happy as he? Didn't he fucking have _rights_!

_Where is Canada? _He thought, getting up from the bed. He had been stripped down to his skewed tie, black undershirt and pants. He had the _gall_ to undress him? Granted it was just his suit coat, shoes and holster, but still! Anger bubbling up in his gut, he stalked from the room and down the hall to the closed door of Canada's office.

Without knocking, he opened the door and walked in, finding the young blonde bent over paperwork. Canada fixed his glasses and looked up. Whatever he saw in Prussia though must've frightened him though, he stood.

"Hello Prussia. Is there uh… Something I can do for you?" That was the reaction Prussia had been wanting, it was how _all_ should react to his presence.

"I hert…" Prussia hissed, Canada looked away suddenly, seeming to know what the outcome of this was going to be.

"Euh, heard what?"

"You know vhat. Aboud you und dat baschtart." Canada's worried face turned into an irritated frown.

"I'll have you know, that bastard is you. You who initiated what we _had_." The blonde fixed his glasses on his nose, opening his mouth to explain. Prussia's fist was quicker, sending Canada's head into the window behind him, cracking the sheet of glass. The smaller man yelped at the pain, his hand going back to spot that had collided with the window.

"Id _has_ to haf been your fauld!" The Canadian felt a boot connect with his chest, knocking the air out of him and hitting his head against the wall again. "You liddle, lying fuck! Dere ist no vay in fucking _hell_ dat I voult _villingly,_ _**lofingly**_fuck you!" A sob broke through the noise of Prussia yelling and he felt his conscience's anger at him build. Well, good for Prussia, the impulses fed his own anger. "I nefer efen loft you! I'fe talkt to him!" Canada's head shot up, his eyes wide, hope and sadness warring in his violet eyes, Prussia laughed bitterly. He sounded exactly like Gilbert, "I hert my own zelf zay dat you ahre jus' a hole!"

"That's not true." A sob broke after the weak denial and the conscience in Prussia's head was raving mad, trying to tell his disconnected lover he was lying. Prussia felt his lips curve as if he were going to tell him as much and apologize, but Prussia's anger flared at the attempt in controlling him. This gave him the edge he needed to shove Gilbert's mind away from the surface.

"Id's true. He tolt me himzelf." Prussia squatted down to be more on Canada's level, "He's telling me to fuck you now. Make id hurd. Make you zorry you efer zait 'I lof you'." Prussia licked his lips, grabbing Canada's front and kneading it in his palm, "I mighd jus' listen to him." Canada was crying now, tears flowing down his cheeks in rivers. A brilliant sense of victory blossomed within Prussia's chest, he knew the man was broken.

"If you'd rather…" Canada sniffled, "We can go to Jasper for you to… Get your anger out. So you don't have to bare being inside of me." Prussia's brows went up.

"Vhat a goot itea. Glat I doughd of id." One last shove, putting Canada on the ground and he stood. "Led me know vhen you're reaty to leaf." He almost sounded pleasant as he left, as if he hadn't just metaphorically torn the insides out of the man he lived with.

Matthew, as he lay on the floor, thought about Prussia's words. He had said that he was _talking_ to his more knowledgeable self… Was that how he found out? Did he really tell him to… Was he really just a cheap fuck to him? For five years! Was that all he was? Forcing himself to his feet, he leaned against his desk, tears seeping into the dark grain of the wood.

Finally he understood why Prussia never liked admitting he had emotions. Why he hated the whole nonsense of love. It only lead to pain. Why not simply do the human thing and minimize pain to maximize pleasure? He supposed maybe that was Prussia's idea in never growing attached, have a good time, make someone feel good while you're at it and if anything bad happens, walk away with no regrets. Relationships _would_ be so much easier without the _feelings_ or the words… Maybe he would give the whole "casual sex" thing a try.

Sighing, he left the room, wiping his eyes one last time before going to his bedroom to throw some new clothes on.

()()()

On the way there, they both were silent until they were nigh in the city limits

"Since you don't have a car, I'll hang around the city until tomorrow too. Do you know how your cell phone works?" Prussia blinked at him, looking confused.

"My vhat?" Maybe he didn't have it, well, whatever, it was easy enough for Matthew to get. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out, handing it to the confused albino.

"Cell phone. Obviously a phone, but smaller and portable. My name is in there. Just find 'Matthew' tomorrow morning when you're ready to go back to the house." Matthew explained, Prussia inspecting the device. "You press that button to get to contacts." Pointing to the correct button, Prussia followed his lead and pressed it. Next he scrolled down through a long list of people (most of them nation names) until he hit the Ms. Matthew with an emoticon heart next to it was in the list, Prussia pressed the button that said "call".

"Burning Love" by Elvis Presley played from his pocket, Matthew snatched the phone up and answered it quickly.

"See, not that hard. You just talk into it once I pick up. Or if I don't follow the instructions the voice will give you." He said into the phone, Prussia still looking so perplexed it was adorable.

"Okay…" Prussia replied, now trying to figure out how to end the damn call.

"Just close your phone." Matthew explained and Prussia did as instructed, nodding curiously when he found it out it worked.

"Awesome…" He simply commented, putting it in his suit pants he never changed out of. Matthew nodded and smiled, happy that he was able to teach him something. Prussia caught the smile however and snorted.

"Vhat ahre you looking ahd?" Matthew quickly went back to frowning and averted his eyes from him.

"Nothing."

()()()

They went their separate ways in the bar district, Matthew heading for a usual haunt and Gilbert disappearing (against his better judgment) to explore.

Matthew sighed and plopped down on a bar stool, ordering a rum and sprite. The bartender obliged and Matthew found himself going through two before even his first hour. Shit though if it didn't make the pain go away.

"Matthew?" The nation jumped at his name and looked around, seeing Frederick (his left hand wrapped up and splinted) sit down next to him.

"Hi Rick!" He greeted with false cheer, his company quickly taking notice of the colorful bruise on Matthew's face.

"Are you alright?" Frederick asked, true concern in his voice.

"Never better." The blonde lied, bolting yet another drink. Rick sighed, looking him over before asking something he knew he shouldn't have been.

"Has he been abusing you?" Matthew laughed at such a "preposterous" idea; why did this _human_ think it his business anyway what went on in his personal life? Never let it be said that Matthew was a ditzy drunk, he became serious and irritable. Sure he could enjoy a good joke and be loose, but the things that merely annoyed him in his normal state of mind angered him while drunk.

"No, no. Why would he? I love him and he loves me." The Canadian smoothly lied, smiling patronizingly at Frederick. "What happened to your hand?" It seemed pretty awful that his dominant hand to be broken as it was.

"Oh this?" Rick shrugged, "Helping a friend move and it got smashed between a bookcase and the wall." Matthew nodded in understanding the last few weeks seemed to be bad for just about everyone.

()()()

Down the street though, in a house of iniquity, Prussia was enjoying the attention being lavished upon him. Matthew had given him plenty of money to blow in whatever way he pleased. While _he _was certainly enjoying himself, there was a Debbie-downer in the back of his mind. Pulsating rabid hatred and sorrow. Prussia chuckled internally to himself, making the already irascible old man in his head lash out, giving him a hell of a headache.

_Calm down in there!_ Prussia scolded, _I just did you a favor and you cannot even be polite enough to thank me._ A grin came over Prussia as a particularly beautiful woman came up to him. She wasn't common fare it appeared, where most of the lovelies here were between the ages of barely legal and twenty-five (scantily clad to be added), she must've been at least thirty. Her clothes were classy and all the other women seemed to part when she walked by. The hair on her head, as black and shiny as Prussia had ever seen, hung down her back in great tresses. Ah, her eyes though! So blue they put Ludwig's eyes to shame, the slight slant to them gave her a somewhat exotic look, he _had_ to learn her name!

"_Bonsoir mademoiselle._" He greeted in a seductive tone, her red lips pulled up into a sultry smile, Prussia immediately feeling the effects below his belt.

"_Vous parlez français_?" She asked likewise, it was always possible that her customers didn't speak the language and generally answering them threw them off.

"_What is love if you don't_?" Prussia shrugged his shoulders, his smile never leaving his face. When she laughed it was music to his ears, many women he had known and for some reason he felt as if none among them were like her. That was how high-class prostitutes were meant to make you feel though, right? Obviously, she did her job very well, she must've been the mistress of this place, not one of its workers. "_May I ask why I have… Earned your attention_?" Ugh, he was a little bit rusty.

"_You are different._" Her soft hand caressed his silver locks, sliding down to his cheek to rest there.

"_The feeling is mutual, my dear._" Another musical laugh and she leaned down into his face, her beautifully red lips only a few inches from his.

"_I don't often do this…_" She cast a glance over her shoulder to the women watching and most likely taking notes. "_But I like you._" Prussia chuckled deep in his chest, refraining from touching her as he knew she wouldn't take it well.

"_Some would call that unprofessional._" He joked, her hands going from his face to slide down his chest. Her smile only grew as she closed the small distance between them with a kiss. Talented as she was beautiful! A hand brushed his near-aching front and she pulled off of him.

In a small voice, just barely above a whisper so he _had_ to listen carefully she said "_Far be it from me to be 'unprofessional'. If you want more, follow me._"

Everything screamed at Prussia not to follow her, to just leave, but the everything was just the old man in the back of his mind. So, he did as he was wont, he disregarded his wishes and followed the woman back to a room, her tugging him by his tie.

()()()

Rick had finally chosen to leave Matthew alone, only after he had refused several times to explain what was going on. A miserable sigh slipped from him and he leaned on the bar. Looking hopefully to the bar tender, he pushed his glass towards him. The man just shook his head, Matthew was past smashed. Matt snorted angrily, shoving up from the bar and slipping into the mass of dancing bodies in the crowd. Out of whim, he ran his hands over a tall man's bare sides, effectively earning him attention. A well-practiced smirk that Gilbert had taught him to perform was shot up at the taller man. He was tired of this emptiness between his legs, he didn't care _who _it was. The who didn't matter anymore, what mattered was the sex. His whole relationship had been a sham hadn't it? Why bother for _meaning_, fuck meaning! He was drunk, horny and his boyfriend had told him he never loved him at all. There was plenty of good reasoning here to beckon the human to follow him.

Sliding around to the sweaty man's front, he danced with him for a bit, rubbing and grinding against him with the beat of the music. At first, the _boy_ he had picked hadn't seemed to be able to believe his luck. An excited grin came over him and he looked to his friends he was there with. They encouraged him to go with it and so he did. They danced, gyrated and virtually had sex with their clothes on when Matthew roughly jerked his head down into a kiss only a nation could execute.

Giving him one final look, Matthew grabbed the front of the human's pants. He gasped at Matt's forwardness and the undisguised _lust_ in his eyes.

"_Now._" Matthew growled and the boy chuckled nervously as he turned and fled to the bathroom. Not missing a beat, the human followed him back into the bathroom, the two tripping over one another into a stall. Their lips crashed into one another, hands going everywhere.

As a man of experience, Matt had the boy's and his pants down in a flash, his hands going to the obvious virgin's ass, kneading the muscles.

()()()

Prussia bit the prostitute's neck, Catherine was her name. Not that the name mattered, oh no, it certainly did not. Never had it mattered, never _would_ it matter ever again, this was his body to do with as he pleased and fuck was he ever going to drive the point home. He shoved himself inside of her, she releasing a high squeal of pleasure mixed with pain.

"_My God_!" She cried in French, Prussia starting off at a hammering speed, wanting to hear her scream, wanting her to _bleed_ for him.

()()()

Much like his ex-boyfriend, Matthew was not one for preamble while drunk, he slammed the bewildered man up against the wall. For a moment he looked scared, the Canadian pressing himself and his throbbing hard-on against his. Flesh against flesh had the inexperienced boy moaning easily, but fingers pressing inside of him had him wincing and looking away from the man in glasses.

"Look at me." Matthew commanded, the boy, too scared to disobey, did so, getting lost in the intensity of the violet eyes boring into him. A finger pressed harshly against his prostate and the boy let out a loud squeal. _Virgin_. Matthew's better side told him, it told him to stop, but no, no, no, no, he needed this.

Making sure he could hold him, he put his chest against the boy's kissing him roughly as another finger and another spread his entryway. His other hand worked to get the human to put his legs up around Canada's waist. He seemed to get the point and obeyed with another loud moan that surely everyone in the establishment heard.

"This is going to hurt." The blonde warned, lining himself up and the boy nodded, trusting that Canada knew what he was doing.

Unfortunately, he did, through his drunken stupor, Matt knew he was about to murder this young man who couldn't have been even twenty yet. Something had snapped tonight because he realized… _I don't care._ The human braced himself and Matthew drove himself in deep, nailing the poor boy into the graffitied wall of this sleazy bathroom.

The cry released was less of pleasure and more pain. Matt didn't get off on that like Prussia did, he calmed himself a little bit. It was unbearable to remain still while the boy became properly acclimated to his size, but he had to be nice. This was the kid's first and only time to have sex and the least he could do before killing him was let him enjoy it.

()()()

"_Harder_!" Catherine screamed, Prussia only happy to oblige. The bed was denting the wall with the intense thrusting and writhing upon it.

A final roar from Prussia and a high scream from Catherine and they both knew they were done. Prussia collapsed on top of the panting woman. They both shook from the intensity of their orgasms, Prussia harshly biting Catherine's neck, this time drawing blood. Laughing deeply, he licked it off her, shivers of pleasure racking her body.

They both just lay there, no words…

Catherine's heart raced and she was unable to think…

Prussia was intensely satisfied with himself, however…

()()()

Matthew came inside the poor boy who screamed in much the same way as the high-class whore had just down the road. Spurting his seed out over Matthew's bare chest. Instead of collapsing like Catherine did, his face went blank, his hand gripping at his chest.

Matthew, through his intense pantings, dropped the human, leaning against the wall where he had been previously pressed for support.

"_Mon dieu…_" He moaned, dropping to the floor to lay atop the exhausted human as he fought against his rebelling body. Sighing, Matthew looked at the sheer terror in the human's beautiful green eyes. "I'm sorry." He sincerely apologized, the human letting out a strangled noise before going limp, the life leaving him. A hand was laid to the human's breast, his heart had given out as all hearts were supposed to. The carnal relationship of nation to human was _always_ deadly. Tears pricked at Matthew's eyes, in the heat of the moment he hadn't cared, but now he did.

Hate and depression boiled up in his stomach, made worse by the alcohol rotting in his gut. A sob came from him and he threw his glasses off, grabbing the toilet bowl and vomiting into it. Disgust had _never_ been so prominent in him before. What made it worse was that it was not due to any sight, but it was due to the empty hole inside of him, the empty hole of who he was.

()()()

Sleepily, Prussia watched the woman stand, she putting on a robe before picking up his wallet and extricating a 100-dollar bill from it.

"I like you, you get a discount." She ran an appreciating hand down Prussia's chest to his abdomen, resting on his thigh. "I'll let you sleep here if you so wish." A grin pulled at Prussia's lips.

"Nah, I got a buddy that wants to get home tonight." Catherine smiled, her sparkling blue eyes putting his brother to shame again.

"Come again then." Prussia laughed heartily, oh how he wished he could. Too bad she was probably going to die within the hour. He considered himself _very_ lucky she hadn't died on the spot. "I'll take that as an 'okay'." Catherine brushed some of Prussia's sopping-wet hair from his forehead and kissed it, leaving the room. Taking a deep breath, Prussia sighed, oh he would miss _her._

()()()

Even though he couldn't really get in trouble for it, Matthew cleaned up his mess. He dragged the body out the window in the bathroom into the adjacent alley, merely tossing it into the garbage can. Carefully, he went back into the bathroom to wipe his fingerprints from everything, leaving thereafter out the front door. His tab was getting larger here, he knew it was going to be massive after tonight, but he had the wealth of a nation to pay for it.

His phone rang then, disgruntled, he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Yo! Matt!" It was Prussia alright, the casual tone of voice would not fool him into thinking it was Gilbert. Besides, even if it was, next Matthew saw him he was getting a good smack to the face.

"What?"

"Cahn you drife home?" The Canadian blinked, tipping his head to the side.

"Already?"

"Yep!" At least he was in a far better mood than he had been earlier. "Hat an _awesome _fuck." Now, Matthew was indeed drunk (a large amount of the alcohol in his stomach though had been expelled into the toilet). In no shape to drive and he doubted Prussia would know how to drive. But, there was the hope of procedural memory had lasted in his muscles.

"You'll have to drive." There was silence on the other end for a minute.

"I cahn drife?"

"You should be able to." The blonde pinched the bridge of his nose, "We'll be proving something tonight either way."

"Vhat do you mean?"

"Well, we will either be proving that I can drive drunk off my ass and not get caught or we will prove that procedural memory is still present within you." Not that Prussia understood anything that Canada had just said, but he all the same he responded with "Okay."

()()()

Against Matthew's better judgment, as it turned out, he didn't let Prussia drive. Feeling quite confident in himself, he asked Prussia to get in and the albino did as asked. The smell of both of them was obvious, sex had been their main event tonight. Matthew was expecting something malicious, but instead got "Vas id goot?"

"Sorta. The kid was a virgin." They began their slow drive home and Prussia nodded.

"Mine vasn't." Judging by the huge smirk on his face she was more than just not a virgin… "Bud, euh, Maddhew." Oh shit, the sex had put him in a _very _good mood. Since when was Prussia so quick to change his tune? Matthew kept his eyes on the road, suspicious of whatever it was Prussia was about to say. "I'fe been dinking. Dis whole… Roomade ding cahn acdually vork oud I dink."

With a deadpan stare, Matthew turned his head slowly to Prussia, "And just _when_ did you think about this?"

"Vhile I vas vaiding fur you to pick me up."

"Yeah, and? Since when are you just so…"

"Since I know you von'd _try_ anyding anymore." Well, that certainly was true now… "Und, I zomevhat trusd dat you voult be a goot roommade." Canada sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he drove, careful to stay in the correct lane.

"I guess it could be worth a try." Prussia smiled victoriously and Canada gave a downhearted sigh. It wasn't as if anything was really going to change anyway, right?

()()()

One Week Later

Surprisingly enough, it had been rather easy to slip into a regular routine of the two housemates ignoring each other. Matthew still did all the cooking, cleaning and other domestic chores and Prussia largely stayed out of his way. Was it necessarily _bad_ that he was accepting Prussia for who he was? Beginning to come to terms with maybe there was no "fixing" him? Perhaps there was nothing _to_ fix, maybe this was merely how he was supposed to be…

Either way, Prussia still woke up in his bed every morning, a fact that they just chose to disregard. It, in all actuality, was beginning to annoy Matthew. During the night, Prussia still ground against him, but more than ever was he completely _repulsed_ by the idea of it. The bulk of the nights throughout the week, he just rolled away from Prussia, but then usually Prussia would drag him back against him. This was definitely a problem that _needed _to be fixed if they were going to be able to function as normal people during the day.

Depression and exhaustion caused by lack of sleep hung over Matthew nearly the whole week and it was time for some relaxing.

Today was a day for his cookies, he had successfully picked up two bricks of his medicine and he was _more _than ready to use it. He had smoked a joint the previous day, but he had begun to dislike the feeling of being high. It was starting to become harder to truly get high anyway and it was all compressed into a few hours. Eating it provided long-lasting effects as the THC was slowly released within his system. Cracking eggs and folding them into the batter whose recipe he now knew by heart, he failed to notice a figure lurking behind him.

Prussia, as previously stated, largely ignored him when he wasn't asking for food or laundry to be done. Anything _playful _was certainly out of character. So when an egg went missing from his carton, he merely stared at the empty space as if he were imagining things.

"Huh…" He tipped his head to the side and looked about the floor in case he had dropped it. Finding nothing, he turned all the way around to catch the black and white-clad albino, smirking with an egg in hand. "Oh…" The egg was hurled and smashed wide open against his glasses. As he just stood there, egg on his face, Prussia began to laugh "Kesesesese!". His hand gripped his stomach and Matthew just stared on, disbelief hidden beneath the gooed lenses.

With a completely straight face, he reached into the bowl of batter and flung a handful of it at him. Now it was the Prussian's turn to stare in wonderment. Well, needless to say, it all blew up from there. The room was swiftly coated in white, various sticky fluids spotting it in beaded pools. They both laughed and suddenly a knife was hurled, barely missing Prussia's face as it cut a few strands of hair from his head. Matthew hadn't even realized he'd picked up the knife, but it certainly did apply what with his pent-up anger at Gilbert and hatred of Prussia.

They settled down after that, Matthew staring around the room, brainstorming the most effective way to clean. The most _effective_ would have been to get Prussia to help, but Gilbert was the one easy to bully into it, Prussia, not so much. Instead, he asked, "Anything new on the memory front?"

"Noh." Prussia flicked an eggshell from his shoulder, "I dink I'fe schtabilizt." Much to Prussia's own relief, his fear of Gilbert taking him over slowly ebbing away throughout the week.

"Oh, I see." There was a bit of silence, this was the most they had really talked since last weekend, "Do you want to-"

"_Nein_. Ve schtill on fur tonighd dough?"

"Of course." Matthew sighed, Prussia strolling from the ruined room without word, tracking filth in his wake.

()()()

Two and a half hours of scrubbing, sweeping and finally _baking _later, the kitchen was clean and Matthew nibbling on hot cookies. Prussia had expressed a desire to go back to Jasper that evening and who was _he_ to say no? He needed a stress release of his own and if it was at the expense of another human's life… It did matter… But he wanted to say it didn't. How could people be so selfish? With the error inside of him, he figured he would never know.

A thought occurred to him then, he could call Germany, right? _He _would be looking for some sort of escape too more than likely. A small smile cracked when he thought of Germany, yeah, that would bring some light to this shitty time. Of course, they still spoke at the end of every day when Matthew reported to him. Four out of seven times this week he had gotten Ludwig's answering machine. Hoping for the best, he tomped upstairs and logged on to his computer. He swiftly typed in Ludwig's number and waited while it rang.

Soon he was greeted with the most welcome sight in a week, Ludwig's curious face.

"If my vatch is correcd, you're more dan a few hours early for your repord." The blonde greeted, tweaking his eyebrow curiously at his friend. Matthew chuckled to put on the view that he was significantly happier than he truly was. It was a guise that Ludwig easily saw through, causing his eyebrows to knit together, "Is someding wrong?"

"No, no, I would just like to know if you want to come out with Prussia and I tonight is all." The German looked pensive for a bit, putting his hand to his chin. "Please?" Matthew pled, a bit of his misery filtering into his expression. One look to the poor man's face and Ludwig was spent.

"Okay, I vill head ofer soon." The wide smile Matthew gave Ludwig caught him a little off guard, but it wasn't unpleasant. "See you soon." A tiny smile was given back to Matthew and the Canadian sighed with relief.

"Yeah, you know how to get to Jasper, right?" Ludwig nodded in affirmative, "And remember where we were last time?" another nod and the two said their farewells, ending the call. A knock to his office door made Matthew jump with surprise then groan in annoyance. Barely mustering the will to stand, he hefted himself up from his chair and stalked over to the door, pulling it open. "Yes?" he inquired to the albino standing just beyond the threshold.

"_Westen_ ist coming vid us?" Prussia benevolently posed.

"Yes." The Prussian smirked as if it was a great idea.

"I cahn'd vaid." He left the doorway, Matthew staring after him dejectedly. Yeah, since this man was greatly different from Gilbert, he shouldn't want his attention. Being ignored still hurt. He dragged his sorry self back into the kitchen, retrieving another cookie and scarfed it.

()()()

"Prussia! Hurry up!" Matthew called up the stairs, putting on a light jacket to fend off the evening chill. The man grumbled, heading down the stairs towards his waiting housemate.

"Keep your pandies on, I'm coming." He was tying a black tie around his white shirt, something Matthew thought odd. Now that he thought of it, Prussia had been wearing one last weekend too. The reason he found it so odd was that Gilbert never liked tying his tie and usually made Matthew do it for him. A sigh escaped him and Prussia chose not to comment upon it. "Vell, vell, ve hefn'd god ahll nighd. Led's goh." He urged instead.

They both hiked out the car, reaching it in a matter of minutes as they both had well-memorized the trail.

"Cahn I drife?" Prussia asked, looking over the car.

"No." Was the practical reply from the Canadian and Prussia snorted.

"Vhy nod?"

"Because I don't really trust that you still know how."

"Dere vere cars back ihn de fordies!" He irritably reasoned and Matthew shook his head, sighing.

"Not cars like we have now. Just get in and shut up." Prussia snorted as a response, loathe to admit that Canada was right. He also did as requested, getting into the passenger's seat, not exactly shutting up really.

"Schoult I goh back to dat von place?" He asked, in truth more a question to himself than Matthew.

"What is 'that one place' exactly?" The blonde wished for clarification as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed for Jasper.

"De whorehaus I vas ahd lasd time."

"I don't know, if you come back after only a week when someone died last weekend? I don't think it's a good idea." Matthew reasoned, "An excuse for me to take Ludwig to a _different_ bar this time." The albino sitting next to him nodded.

"I dink I vill be safe."

"Why?"

"Vell, she vas schtill alife vhen I lefd. Und zince dey only efer zeem to die of hard failure how voult dey pin dat on me?" Lucky bastard.

"I guess you are in the clear then. Do what you want."

"Alvays hef." Prussia sniggered to himself, putting his hands behind his head and reclining in his seat.

"Are you wearing your seatbelt?"

"Noh…" Matthew narrowed his eyes and stared intensely out the corner of his eye at the albino who just sat there and took the stare. Although, underneath he was writhing and cringing, this boy was _scary_ at times!

"Do not make me pull this car over!"

"Ahs if a damnt car accidend coult kill me!"

"It will hurt like hell!"

"Eider vay id vill hurd! Zoh, id ist more _your_ responsibilidy for us to _nod_ ged hurd. If you do nod intent to nail us to a tree, I do nod neet a-" Matthew slammed on the breaks, Prussia flying forward, knocking his head into the windshield. For a moment, Prussia just sat there, his face buried harshly against the glass as Matthew tried his damnedest to keep a straight face.

"What was that?" Prussia peeled his face off the windshield and glared straight at him, Matthew looking all sweet and innocent. Grunting angrily, Prussia grabbed the seatbelt and put it on, not saying a word. "Thank you." The blonde said with fake gratefulness, accelerating once again.

The rest of the car ride was silent, a satisfied smile never leaving Matthew's face.

()()()

Upon pulling into the well-lit street they haunted every weekend, it was immediately clear where Ludwig was. The awkward man stood on a street corner, stark straight as if waiting for his old boss to come along and inspect him. Being that he was not exactly _unremarkable,_ he got many appreciative stares as he walked by, female and male alike. And d'uh, his face simply screamed "save me"!

Matthew parked where he usually did, Ludwig walking up to them soon after the two got out of the car. The brothers greeted each other without flair, both showing more of a quiet distain for being near one another. Apparently, they had been like that for a while during the second world war, both describing their relationships as "undesirable but necessary". It appeared that it was to fall into that once more until Prussia was well again. Speaking of that, Matthew had to steel his nerves for finally telling Germany he didn't think he ever would get "better".

"So, vhat is de plan tonight?" Ludwig looked between the Prussian and the Canadian for guidance, having not been involved in any prior conversations.

"Whores." Prussia said simply, shrugging as if it were no big deal. However, they all supposed it really wasn't, sex had always been one of the first things on his mind.

"Hanging out with you, I guess." Matthew also shrugged, there really was nothing more for him to do. In inviting Ludwig, he had already denied himself sexual release, why go along with intense drinking if he didn't want to forget most of the night?

They all nodded quietly, Prussia going off into his own little world. He had been surprised at just how quiet his conscience had gotten recently. Very rarely did he harass him, rarely did he try to take over and they hadn't spoken "face to face" for the whole week. It was as if he was either extremely preoccupied with something or he had given up. If the first were true, that could have possibly been cause for worry. If the second were? Well, that man didn't deserve the awesome body he had been given! Truly boded well for himself to boot.

"I'll zee you two lozers lader!" Prussia hissed merrily, turning and heading for the main street, leaving Ludwig and Matthew to stand by each other awkwardly. It didn't last terribly long as Matthew started walking and Ludwig just followed him.

"How is your finger?" He asked, looking down at the splinted digit.

"Id's healing, _very_ slowly at dat." Ludwig lifted his hand, removing the customary glove from it for Matthew to get a good look at it. Even after a week it was an awful purply-yellow beneath the wrappings. There had been a lot of anger laid into that badly abused finger. "Und, I'm sure you heard aboud our straint relationship vid Russia."

"Yeah… What's going on right now? Why is he so pissy?"

"I don'd know. None of us do. Many of us in Europe, ve suspect our bosses know as you heard. Dere is no oder explanation for dis. Dey hef nod kept us in de dark for dis long in a madder for so long before. Vhy do you dink dey are doing id now?" Matthew shook his head, truly at a loss, a strange prickling feeling coming over his skin. He put a hand to Ludwig's shoulder their eyes meeting for that moment.

"I'm sure everything will work out okay in the end."

"_Ja_." Ludwig averted his eyes to the ground, pensive, "I'm sure id vill."

"This place looks as good as ever." They both stopped at a pub, Matthew's stomach growling and Ludwig's doing much the same. "Well, it's unanimous." Strolling inside, they got a seat together, Ludwig ordered a beer, Matthew a coke

()()()

Prussia wandered meanwhile, heading down the street, not quite wanting to go to the brothel yet. Why he had diverted his path he didn't know, what sounded better than sex right now?

_War_. Was the vague notion in his brain. He missed large-scale fighting he imagined, which, why wouldn't he? It was the ultimate adrenaline rush, it was the ultimate feeling of power, holding another's life in your hands. A pulse emanated from the back of his mind and he tweaked an eyebrow, what was that? "_You alright in there, old man_?" He asked himself and there was another pulsation. "_Was that a yes_?" Another and a mosquito bite-esque kind of throbbing started in the back of his head. "_If you're trying to give me a headache, come off it_." The next pulse didn't hurt, it was more one of warning. His feet stopped in their tracks and he stared down the street of humans. The pulsing urged him to turn around, his skin rising up in goose flesh. Nodding, he decided to go with his better instincts and turn around, heading for the whorehouse.

()()()

The evening was going decidedly uninspired on the end of the two blondes. They sat in the pub, watched some sports reruns, Ludwig drank crappy beer and Matthew had some onion rings (Ludwig's solid poison being hot wings). However, as the evening dragged on, Matthew's skin prickled again and he pulled his jacket around him tighter.

"Does it seem cold in here to you?" He asked the German who seemed a bit zoned off staring at the television.

"Mmn? _Was_?" Ludwig blinked a few times to hydrate his eyes again before looking tiredly to his companion, "Colt? No, I don'd dink so."

"God, I wish this would go away." This odd prickling was beginning to set him on edge. He wasn't particularly cold, but the feeling wouldn't have made sense otherwise.

"Vant to leaf?" His friend posed and Matthew sighed, what a ruined evening. Not that it was destined to go well from the beginning or anything… They sighed in unison and paid their bill, heading out into the night.

()()()

Just as they were exiting, Prussia was entering his destination. His presence gathered the eyes of a great many people and he thought that perhaps it _was_ too early. Then a woman with long brown hair came up to him.

"Uhm, is your name Gilbert, sir?" The Prussian nodded, thinking her formality out of character for a whore. "Good, can you come with me for a minute?" Considering just _how_ weird this was, Prussia decided to take it seriously, following the woman back without argument.

()()()

After walking into the motel room, Matthew tossed his wallet and car keys to one of the beds, immediately heading for the bathroom and a shower. Ludwig was left to close the door behind them and sit down on the seedy-looking bed. Why was it that the last few times they were together they somehow or another ended up in a motel? The blonde shook his head, best not to think of it.

Noticing the television, he snatched up the remote and turned it on, what did Canadians watch? Perhaps though, this was something to explore on a different day as Matthew stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in nothing but his boxers as he towel-dried his hair.

Sad as it was, Ludwig couldn't tear his eyes away from his wet body. Even sadder was the reaction he was having downstairs. Matthew's eyes flicked up and noticed him staring, noticed the _bulge_.

()()()

"Wait here for a moment, please." The woman told Gilbert as he was left in a well-decorated vestibule between the rest of the brothel and what appeared to be an office. "Have a seat, if you wish." She motioned to the couch along the wall and Prussia smiled dazzlingly at her.

"Don'd mint if I do." He plopped down on the couch and she gave him a sweet smile of her own.

"I'll be right back." She disappeared through the door on the other end of the room, leaving him alone to himself to contemplate just what in the world he was doing where he was.

()()()

It was an opportunity presented to him… An opportunity to relieve some stress and to give his friend what he had been after.

Matthew averted his eyes from Ludwig, standing up straighter as he ran his towel over his shoulders and down his chest to stomach. He tipped his head back to look at Ludwig out of the corner of a beautiful violet eye. The German seemed speechless as he sat where he was at the edge of the bed and stared. His stare told all, he was _quite_ enamored with him. A small voice in the back of Matthew's head said that it was wrong, _as usual_, but he found he was starting to enjoy disregarding it.

The towel dropped from his body, Matthew slinking over to the other blonde. Ludwig flinched back at first, gentle fingers threading into his hair, "Shh, calm down." Matthew whispered into his ear, striding him now. This wasn't a bad idea anymore, his empty-feeling chest _needed_ someone he could connect with. A whore was as good as any hole, it was meaningless and didn't matter, especially to a nation. He couldn't _be_ like Prussia though, it wasn't him.

Their lips touched and Ludwig tried to push him off. Matthew acquiesced at once, looking into Ludwig's blues with confusion.

"Vhy now?" Excitement glittered in Ludwig's eyes, this was not a "no", but he still wanted to understand.

"I need someone and you do too." The explanation must've been good enough for the German because Ludwig grabbed Matthew and flipped them around, the smaller man beneath him.

()()()

Prussia was twiddling his fingers when the girl finally returned, poking her head out into the vestibule, "Mr. Gilbert?" She questioned, the albino lifting his head to regard her.

"_Ja_?"

"She will see you now." Prussia shakily stood_, _one word running through his head-_She?_ A few steps and he was indeed within an office, the girl leaving and closing the door behind him. His head lifted to the side, falling on a face he thought he would never see again.

"_Bonsoir_."

()()()

Matthew virtually tore the jacket from Ludwig, throwing it across the room before grabbing at the clasp to his pants. Ludwig growled as Matthew did his work, making it harder for him by grinding down against the Canadian's largely-exposed hard-on. The fingers on his hips grew clumsy, their owner's mind growing hazy with pleasure.

A hard bite and the digits were a lost cause, the hands just plunging into the confines of the garment. They both moaned together, heat pouring off of Ludwig's virtual space heater of a body.

One last attempt and the two managed to work off the offending clothing article, it quickly joining the coat on the other side of the room. The German's tongue lavished Matthew's bitten neck with attention while a skilled hand rolled and pinched Matthew's right nipple.

Gasps and moans filled the room (and probably the rooms on either side of them), neither of them caring just who heard.

"Please…" Matthew begged as Ludwig removed his hands from him, using his other arm to keep them above the smaller man's head.

"Please _vhat_?" The German darkly crooned in a deep-bass voice. "Tell me vhat you vant." A shiver jolted through Matthew's body as his dominant licked up his neck to his jaw line. He ground their hips together and Matthew squealed.

"Fuck me, _please_." A laugh reverberated in Ludwig's chest and he claimed Matthew's mouth with his tongue.

()()()

"C-Caderine?" Shock was by far the clearest thing upon Prussia's face as he beheld those wonderful blue eyes.

"Yes? You look like you've seen a ghost." The Frenchwoman's face went from playfully amused to suspicion. "Did you not come here looking for me?"

"Id's nod dat id's jus…." _Why aren't you dead?_ Never in _any_ of his years had a _single_ human survived him. "Ahre you feeling alrighd?" He asked instead, quickly rifling through his past experiences for how to behave.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Catherine quirked an eyebrow at him, a smirk returning to her face, "I mean, sure you were _great_ last time, but you didn't get me sick." Double entendre most likely meant. Prussia was at a loss for words, completely _lost_ for how to deal with this situation.

"Coult uhm… Coult I ged your phone number?" He asked hesitantly, earning the interest of Catherine.

"How unorthodox…" The mistress commented, walking out from behind her desk, looking him over like a judge.

"Ve ahren'd exacdly normal, ahre ve?" Prussia chuckled nervously, _nervously_ of all things! Eyes following her wherever she went, he found himself wishing to possess her again. It would be the first time to his knowledge of ever having sex with someone twice. Needless to say, he was eager to see what it was like.

"From the moment I laid eyes on you… I guess we aren't." A high and bird-like giggle came from her, she putting her arms to his sides, "You can have my _personal_ number if you allow me to _know_ you again." Prussia laughed once, his heart hammering in his chest.

"_J-Ja_. Of course." Clearing his voice he had to remember to make himself sound a little less like the virgin he had never been. "If you voult be zoh kint ahs to led me." He purred, she sliding around his front for him to rest his hands on her hips.

A sexy laugh issued from her as she ground up against him. Prussia's eyes narrowed deviously, he pushing her against the oak desk behind them.

"_Oh_," Catherine bit her lip with an excited smile, "wanna go rough again, I see." Grabbing his collar, she wrenched him down to her, smashing her lips against his. "That's great because I love it rough." she growled against his lips, nipping at them.

()()()

By this time, the two sweating men in the motel were done and wrapped up in each other's embrace. In order to avoid any of the killing awkwardness, they didn't speak. It all would be properly dealt with in the morning. Matthew, for some reason, really didn't feel any guilt over this act. It was amazing in his perspective, it didn't feel wrong at all. Pressed against Ludwig's deep chest, his heart beating steadily away there.

The prickling sensation returned to his skin and he was forced to break their unspoken agreement, "Do you feel that?"

"Feel vhat?" Ludwig sounded tired, like he was about to drift off to sleep at any moment.

"That feeling like… Something bad is about to happen." His companion shook his head and Matthew's brows pulled down in thought, "Maybe I'm just paranoid then?"

"Maybe." Comfortable silence blanketed them again, Matthew rolling in Ludwig's arms to press his face into the blonde hair of his chest. "Going to sleep?"

"Yeah…"

"_Gute Nacht._" He bid, stroking the messy blonde hair as the drifted off to dreamland.

()()()

A car drove by, making the wind blow and Prussia wish he had a coat as he sat on a bench out near the street. He was contemplating the number written on a slip of paper in his hand. How humans in this day and age figured out how _anything _on their phones worked was not within his understanding. Simply trying to add a number to the directory was hard enough! Might as well be grateful his more knowledgeable self had done all the set-up for it already.

A tall shadow came to rest over him, he lifted his head to look at them.

()()()

Matthew shot up in bed, his heart hammering, his fingers digging harshly into Ludwig's skin, rousing him too, "Ludwig…"

()()()

"Cahn I help you?" Prussia asked the man with a large scarf obscuring most of his face.

"I dink you can, da?"

()()()

"Vhat?" Germany tiredly replied.

()()()

"Vaid, don'd I know you?"

()()()

The shorter blonde threw himself from bed, throwing his clothes on faster than he had ever seen himself. Following suit, knowing something was up, Germany did the same, asking "Vhat happent?"

"Russia's here. We have to find Prussia **now**."

()()()

"Very vell." The smiling man replied, a large pipe knocking hard into Prussia's temple, brutally tearing him from the waking world. He giggled absently to himself, lifting the out Prussian over his shoulder before melting back into the shadows.

()()()()()

Notes:

I really don't think there are any for this one… Weeeell! Uhhhhh…. Getting down to it! Next chapter is the last! Then, if y'all still approve, I will work on the sequel to this ;) But I will wait for you to read that before you go making any decisions. **PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU EXPECT A LAST CHAPTER! I AM WARNING YOU NOW!**


	14. Happy Ending

Hey everyone, I have been thinking that maybe this could have been a chapter then the end of it ending up as an epilogue, but things worked out after all and here is the last chapter. And since it is the last chapter, those annoying lyrics I bog you down with are at the end ;) I still encourage you to read them or the chapter title won't make sense. It has been a great ride guys and everyone that has commented, I thank you for driving me to do this despite everything that has been dragging me down. Enjoy Throwback one last time!

()()()()()

Happy Ending

Nigh tripping over the small bear situated conveniently in front of the door, Matthew tore into his house. There was some vague hope that Prussia had just come back here rather than hanging out at the brothel. Finding this hope to be empty, Matthew yanked forlornly at his hair, dropping to his knees in the foyer. Russia and Prussia's presences was drifting in and out, hence making them _very_ hard to pinpoint separately.

Ludwig, his hair in disarray, came up behind the young Canadian and put a hand to his shoulder. Matthew looked over his shoulder at him and shook his head. Tears welled up in the violet eyes and he asked the last thing Ludwig would ever have expected.

"Is it wrong that I almost don't care?" The gloved hand slipped off the boney shoulder, Ludwig clasping it with his other behind his back. Shamed, the strawberry-blonde looked away from him, his eyes dropping to the floor.

"You never tolt me _vhy_." The German said simply. Curious, Matthew looked up to his friend, tipping his head to the side to ask for clarification.

"I never told you what?"

"Vhy you sait dat if he ever does ged better, you voultn'd go back to him."

Matthew was silent for a moment, standing up straighter as Prussia along with Russia's signatures pinged in the back of his mind before disappearing again.

"He's never loved me." Matthew answered bitterly, looking at a dent on the wall Prussia had caused. However, Ludwig was left totally and utterly baffled by this assumption.

"Vhat in de vorld made you dink dat?" His tone reflected his confusion and Matthew stood, walking off into the kitchen, the German hot on his heels. "He _lofs_ you more dan anyding." he tried to persuade, the Canadian paying him little mind as he pulled out a glass and a gallon of milk.

"Prussia told me himself. _Gilbert_ told him." Matthew poured some milk into the glass before him, sticking it back into the refrigerator. Dumbfounded, Ludwig stared at the boy's back, his mind groping for _some_ part of that that made any sense at all. "Gilbert's alive in his head… And he doesn't want out." Taking a cookie from his store, Matthew bit into it, chewing a small piece. _That_ was what made Ludwig recover, his bewilderment replaced by anger.

"You voult believe _Prussia_ of all bastards?" Ludwig growled, Matthew giving him a look over his shoulder again. "Matthew, I know you are young, bud I hef nod vonce, _efer_ doughd you _schtupid._" Blinking, Matthew turned all the way around to face him, offense playing across his features. "I mighd neet to redink dat."

"What makes you think I'm so stupid then? Was it _you_ he beat up? Was it _you_ he threatened to rape out of anger? Was it you that he told he didn't love?" The slighter man's eyes slowly narrowed with each question, barely even furious slits when he was done.

"No. I can'd say dat. I can say my bruder vas firm vhen I vas a chilt, ditn'd care who he rapet in frond of me, dat he sait he haded me… I can also say dat he is a **liar**." The German paused to let this sink in, "My bruder, no madder how much he liket a person, voult _never_ led dem control him. By saying dat he doesn't vant oud und you believing dat bullschid is an utter insuld! By beliefing _Prussia_ you are an idiod!" Ludwig yelled in a voice usually only Italy ever heard, making Matthew back slowly away from him. "My bruder, my _real_ bruder lofs you more dan anyding in dis gott-given vorlt! I am _surprist_ und disappoindet dat you gafe up so easily! You have **him** of all people as a lofer und you are unable to see vhat he has belieft for mosd of his life! **Noding**.**Vord hafing**.** Comes**. **Easily**!" Ludwig was in his face, coating the cowering man in his spit as he yelled in his harsher accent. He was panting, unwittingly his shoulders were raised upwards in a stance he used to intimidate others and beneath all of this was the true emotion they portrayed. Fury as deep as the ocean wafted off of him in great droves, making Matthew press himself against the counter away from him.

In a small voice he asked, "What makes you so sure?" The expression that darkened Germany's face further scared Canada, but he was in for a shock.

"De clodes he vas vearing de nighd before dis schtardet? Vhere are dey?" The blonde asked in a growl, the furrows in his brows growing more defined when Canada just looked confused. "**Vhere**!"

"Under my bed upstairs!" Canada yelped, holding his hands up to defend himself if need be. Frighteningly enough, Germany grabbed one of his wrists, dragging him out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. "Let go! What are you doing?" He frantically tried in vain to regain control of his wrist but the older nation wasn't having any of it. Roughly, Germany shoved him to the bed, getting down on his hands and knees before dragging out the folded clothes. He threw them at Canada and gave him an order, "Look drough de pockeds."

"W-Why?" The helpless man asked with a quaver, terrified of his relentless friend. A growl issued from Germany's throat and he hopped to his task, searching through the various pockets of Gilbert's clothes. He swore he heard a clink inside the pants then… A clink? Fishing his hand into the back pocket of the pants, he retrieved two rings… Tungsten rings.

Nearly all the functions of his body stopped for the second his eyes laid themselves upon the bands. His heart froze, his breath caught, not a muscle twitched, even his brain couldn't properly comprehend what had just happened.

"I hat suspecdet dat he nefer showt dese to you. You didn't vere yours und… Especially tonighd tolt me dat." Ludwig saw the big, fat tears drip from Matthew's cheeks, his face still turned down and affixed to the pieces of metal. He reached out and plucked one of them from the Canadian's hand, he barely lifting his head to look at it as Ludwig spun it around his index finger. "Dit you know dat tungschten, vonce cool, is nearly impossible to alder de shape of? Id can go drough hell und back, schtill ids original shape." The German appeared to be completely captivated by the ring as he let it slip down to rest at the base of his finger, something akin to jealousy glistening in his eyes. "Id is commonly uset for de vedding bants of soldiers who don'd vand dere to be any chance of dere ring varping or breaking." His eyes flicked to tearful Matthew and he slipped the ring back into his palm, folding his fingers closed. "You are de _only _person he hes efer vantet to marry… Und righd now? I don'd unterschant vhy." When Matthew lifted his head, Ludwig _swore _he felt a cold wind rush through the room. He had _never _seen such _livid_ emotion in those violet eyes, the cold hate there reminded him of Russia.

Matthew's hand tightened around the rings, his breaths coming in grunts of repressed anger. Suddenly, his fist flew up, pounding down on the bedside-table, the whole object splintering on contact. Vehemently he searched the back of his mind for Russia's location finding it easier than he would have expected. He shoved Ludwig from his way, throwing on his long coat before pocketing the rings. Once having done so, Ludwig saw something new once again. It was the first time he had ever seen Matthew holding anything more dangerous than a handgun. He holstered an assault rifle to himself, his eyes flicking to Ludwig.

"He's in a warehouse in Vancouver." The words themselves were deadly and Matthew threw another of the high-powered rifles to his brother in arms. Germany caught it without word, knowing that total obedience was going to be expected of him now. He never had had the true pleasure of seeing Canada fight, but now he was pretty sure he was grateful to be on his side. "Let's go find my fucking husband."

()()()

Outside a back alley warehouse, Canada and Germany stood at the ready, taking deep breaths to calm themselves. The moment they pointed guns at Russia, they knew a full-scale war was going to be fully initiated between the humans. No more of this cold-war shit with the rest of the world, all hell was on the verge of breaking loose.

A loud scream from inside tensed Canada's muscles and he looked at Germany, narrowing his eyes while he raised his gun. A quick nod, the two slipped inside the barely ajar door. Flicking his fingers, Canada motioned to the side, Germany taking off to go around to the back. Was it at all disgusting that Ludwig moved with complete silence only because of the screams tearing the air apart? Rather than feeling sorry for Prussia or Gilbert, anger was roiling in Canada's breast, begging for an outlet.

Gripping his gun tighter, he slunk between the various stacked crates in the room, growing closer and closer to the epicenter of the screaming with each step. From where he stood now, he was able to see Russia standing over a prostrate and writhing form. Oddly enough, there was no weapon in his hand and he just stared down at him with a menacing smile.

A scream that must've worn the albino's throat raw reverberated off the walls, his eyes squeezed shut. Russia giggled childishly and poked at his arm with his boot.

"I heven't eeven starteed yet." Adding to Prussia's pain, Russia kicked him somewhat playfully. Another cry and now Prussia thrashed violently on the floor, curling himself into a ball in the end. Such a strong reaction to a comparatively small stimulus.

Matthew yet again took a deep breath and spied past Russia and his victim to see Germany in his proper place and awaiting some sort of signal. His head jerked in a nod when Prussia's screams sharpened to shrill, they both wincing at the noise.

While even Russia seemed put off by the noise, Germany and Canada advanced on him, their guns expertly trained on him.

"Get your sadistic ass away from him!" The blonde ordered, Russia glancing over his shoulder to Germany before back to him with a smile.

"I swear, child, I haven't touched heem." The tallest man assured, the man in question breathing heavily through his pain on the floor. Russia's eyes narrowed then, "However, dat gun ees a _vonderful_ declaration to me."

"Not a shot has to be fired if you give Prussia back to me." Canada was a great liar and Russia was done hiding his long-hidden irritation.

"He vas never yours!" He bellowed angrily, stomping on Prussia's wrist, an awful snap coupling with the renewed screaming. "And he hasn'd been yours in over sixdy years!" The big nation snarled at Germany.

Canada not completely understanding and just seeing as Russia having some major "abandonment" issues, fired his gun upward for attention. A gun swiftly flew up from Russia's coat and took aim at Canada.

"Yoo're nod dee only one veed back-up." The barrel of Germany's rifle tapped Russia's back and an irritated growl emanated from him. In one swift motion Russia cracked Matthew on the side of the head with his own gun and ripped Germany's from his strong hands.

The blonde on the floor scrambled back for his gun as Germany kept the hulking behemoth's attention, managing to disarm him at the same time Russia did the same to him. As they began to engage in hand-to-hand combat Germany yelled "Take him und leaf!"

Trusting a nation that started two world wars to be able to hold his own, Matthew did as ordered; he grabbed the two guns in his immediate proximity and stuffed them into oblivion (the last one lost to the various shadows of the warehouse) before hefting his screaming friend over his shoulder.

Too bad as Canada booked it out of the warehouse, he realized too late that Germany had also _lost_ both of those world wars. Already having gotten the abused albino away from Russia, Canada went against his better side and fled.

()()()

Meanwhile, as Matthew strategically retreated, Germany kept up his fighting in the warehouse. Russia turned in an attempt to pursue Canada and found his ass quickly tripped and floored. Germany slammed his tired but frantic self onto him as he listened to Canada's swiftly quieting footfalls over their strained grunts.

Once it was clear Canada had left the area an angry roar issued from Russia, something to the tune of "_тебе пиздец_!" basically meaning "You are fucked!". Germany was indeed strong, but Russia was strong _and_ had a major size difference. Russia reached back, grabbing Germany's slicked-back hair and yanking a fair handful of it out. As that was attempted, Germany punched the back of Russia's head repeatedly to no avail. There was a guttural roar as Russia thrust himself off the ground and fell back onto Germany, which wouldn't have been terribly effective if Germany hadn't smacked his head into the concrete of the floor.

The blow temporarily dazing the smaller nation, Russia stood up and added an injury to his mere insult. A kick to his temple had stars dancing before Germany's eyes before he being forcefully rolled to his side by a sudden pipe to his ribs. Loud cracks along with some highly amused giggling filled the room as the pipe was swung in again with a golfer's efficiency to Germany's now exposed back. Another loud crack and a truly pained scream rang out with more giggles.

"_Господин __Германия_," Russia lightly tapped Germany's tear-stained (and now bleeding) face as he rolled over to lay on his stomach, feeling the full brunt of his broken ribs. "Yoo know, yoo're kind of cude like thees." Russia giggled and beat the pipe into Germany's side again. The pained sound was like _music_ to his very experienced ears. He hadn't heard such wonderful screams since, well, _East_ Germany lived with him.

"_Lutsch mein Schwanz_!" Germany coughed up some blood from his damaged lungs, having to labor himself in order to breathe; hopefully his lungs would heal soon.

"Eesn't dat Eetaly's job?" Russia taunted, a very angry glare being shot at him from the ground and quickly being wiped away with another strike from the pipe. This time to the back of Germany's unprotected right knee. Oh, listen to that _sweet_, _sweet_ music again, breaking knees always brought such wonderful notes out of the human mouth. "Or maybe… Canada's?" Germany's fists balled-up, trying to force himself up only to be thwarted yet again with a hit to his wrist. "Yoo know dat Kaliningrad von't be heppy aboud dat, da?"

Russia's wording was more what caught him off guard than his irritating quips.

"Dit you jus' call him Kaliningrad?"

"Uh-huh! I'm not surprised yoo nefer noteeced." Russia laughed as Germany slowly pulled together the pieces of his pain-scattered mind as well as the pieces of the riddle that was Prussia as of late.

"Our bosses… Prussia vants intepentance from you… Doesn'd he?" The blonde on the floor hissed at him. The unmasked look of malcontent he received from Russia told all that needed to be said, "He's a nation again…"

"And mine!" The pipe came down onto Germany's shoulder, a sickening crunch signifying the comminuted greater tubercle of his humerus and his left scapula. "My propertee!" A crack to Germany's hip, "Vhere are dey!"

"_Fahr zur H__ölle_!" Rather than hitting Germany again with his pipe, Russia squatted down by him and lifted up one of his arms.

"Dis ees me asking nicely." He yanked on the crushed and dislocated arm, twisting slowly at the same time. Germany managed to staunch his cries but only to a point, when Russia twisted again and effortlessly snapped the appendage over his knee he wore his throat as raw as Prussia's had been. "Eemageen how many of your people are _dying_ now because yoo von't tell me." Another twist and Germany bit his tongue against it. "Vhere are dey and your people can **live**." A hard yank to punctuate the stressed syllable.

"_Fick __**dich**_." Enraged, Russia jumped to his feet, snatching up his pipe and delivered a blow to the middle of Germany's back. Blood flew from Germany's mouth as he screamed, feeling leaving the lower half of his body before his world went black.

Russia mumbled something underneath his breath in his own tongue and took his cell phone out, dialing a number before holding it to his ear.

"Hello Stoughton, vhere are dey?" Russia asked in his most amicable voice he could manage as he contemplated what to do with Germany who was bleeding quite ghoulishly onto the floor from his mouth. As his conversation with a one Doctor Stoughton commenced, he didn't notice the subtle buzzing in Germany's pocket.

()()()

"Ve…" Feliciano sighed, Ludwig had said he was going to be back last night and he still wasn't picking up his phone. The news wasn't really boding well either, apparently Germany was being bombed so _something _was definitely up… C'mon he's a little bit dense, don't be too hard on him.

Then again, maybe it wasn't his business… They _were_ supposed to be taking a break from each other… Every time he got the big man's voicemail though he felt his heart sink a little bit further to the floor. Calling Canada had yielded no results and calling Gilbert was the same. He had to tell Germany he had a terrible dream about him and Russia and needed someone to talk to about it. Now he had this awful feeling churning in the pit of his stomach and he grew more and more worried as he kept redialing the beloved number.

_Somebody_ was beating on his friend unbeknownst to most of Europe. Perhaps Francis was blundering about by now trying to find some way to aid Ludwig personally. French troops had a presence, but it would do little good if Francis didn't know where Ludwig's body was.

Finally not able to contain himself anymore he dialed a different number.

"Veeee… America? It's Italy, I'm afraid something has happened to what's-his-name and Germany, oh, and Prussia!"

"What? Why?"

"None of them are picking up their phones! Oh, and Germany is being bombed by someone!" Italy exclaimed to his somewhat distant friend.

"What?"

"Y-Yes! I called Germany at least twenty and What's-his-name seven! Prussia about the same! I even left voice-mails!"

"And they still haven't called back?" America's voice was starting to sound concerned, "Everyone knows it's urgent if you actually _leave_ a voicemail!"

"I know! And-And! I had a really bad dream about Russia and Germany last night! But! He was with Canada then!" Silence for about five seconds.

"Hang on for a moment." America bid and the small Italian, switching lines to dial up England.

"Wot you want?" England growled at America.

"Where's Russia?" Alfred asked his father and the Englishman sighed.

"'Ow would I know again?"

"Don't you have spies over there old man?"

"Maybe…"

"So… Where is he?" Some grumbling reached America's ears from over the phone and after a couple seconds of silence the phone was brought back to England's ear.

"Er… Not at home apparently…"

"He's invading Canada…"

"Wot? 'Ow do you know?"

"Italy told me."

"Well 'oo told 'im?"

"Germany is being bombed as we speak."

"Shit, that's wot the damn frog was goin' on about. You know wot t' do." The line went dead and America switched back to Italy.

"Bad news, we have reason to believe that the one bombing Germany is Russia and he is now currently invading Canada." America informed the smaller man on the line. "We've already rehearsed this Italy, you know what we need to do."

"B-But!"

"No buts! Every hero needs support and you're part of that! Hurry up!" America hung up on Italy and the man was left sniffling on his own. Germany was hurting somewhere and he couldn't help him yet… All the more reason to get his ass in gear. All he had ever done was disappoint Germany and this time… If Germany would allow it of course, he was going to make him proud!

()()()

Back in Canada, said country was hauling ass through the dark woods, Prussia had passed out at some time during the run. It was a straight mad-dash through the undergrowth to the hidden house, him being able to swear Russia was on his heels the whole time.

For the second time that day, Canada burst into his house, nearly tripping over that damned bear!

"Can you be in a worse place at a worse time?" The blonde yelled at the bear, slamming the door and depositing Gilbert on the couch in the room. Not waiting to hear what the bear had to say for himself, he took out a screw-gun and some two-by-fours, fastening the door into place along with plywooding the windows. Figuring this room to be a _bad_ place to hide Prussia, Canada finished up boarding the windows and securing the entrances to take Prussia to a better room. Picking him up again and going to the back closet in the reading room, he pried up the sealed cellar door in the floor there. Before carrying him down, he tossed a few couch pillows and blankets down into the dark, dank area.

He laid Prussia down on the make-shift bed and pulled a thin string above his head, illuminating the room with a single light-bulb. Lining the walls of this room were various stored cans, bottles of alcohol and replacement pots, pans, bowls, any kind of kitchenware needed. Things tended to break easily in his household even _before_ Gilbert was around.

Speaking of whom, even in sleep he wasn't calm, he twitched and his face curled up in anguish, what the hell was going on in there? If only he could read minds.

"Gil… Even if you really don't love me…" Matthew shifted and the rings in his pocket clinked together, "Which I know you do… I still love you." _I think._ "And I want you to come back. I want you to see me beating Russia's sorry behind all the way back to his frozen wasteland." Anger suddenly creased the already sweating and worried brow, "And if you aren't there anymore… If you are just Prussia… I hate you, I want you to get the hell out of my house when you wake up, but know I am still defending you from that sadistic sonuvabitch! The only person allowed to make your life miserable is me! You've made the last few weeks of my life the very definition of **hell**! I am **not** a vengeful person, I don't even **curse** on a regular basis and look what you have done to me! You are the single **worst** thing to _ever_ happened to me since learning how to speak!" At what point had Matthew began to cry? He hadn't noticed until a sob stopped his angered words in their tracks. He wept for many things, but mostly he wept for the pure unadulterated rage he was feeling. Wishing for the blissful unawareness of before he had no one other than Kumajirou.

Love brings with it many joys and the greatest feeling a man or woman can ever know, but it also has the side that hurts. Love is a continuing cycle of hurting and healing and the bad parts are often thought of most. A single bad deed in love obscures a thousand good things as it is always wont in the world… _"__**Noding**__.__**Vord hafing**__.__** Comes**__. __**Easily**__!" _Ludwig's words taken from Gilbert's mouth echoed in the reaches of his mind. The both of them were right and Matthew found himself chuckling in spite of himself and this whole goddamn situation.

"Still… Prussia, I need you in my life if Gilbert's not going to be here. You always have liked pranks anyway, we can have fun getting back at each other." He paused for a second and sucked on his tongue in thought, "We can always hate Russia together." An unsettling prickling set into Matthew's being then, Russia was nearby and _somehow_ had his location by how quickly he was approaching. "I'll give him hell for you." Matthew chastely pressed a kiss to the once-nation's forehead and climbed out of the hole, turning off the light as he did. He closed the door, put the rug back over it and shut the closet.

What now? Oh right, more barricading. He headed into his kitchen, putting several dangerous utensils into easy access positions in case it came to that. Next he flipped the table onto its side and moved the couch away from the wall in case cover was needed. Other than that, there wasn't a lot he could do that wouldn't hinder his own movement through the house.

Deep calming breaths were what was needed now as he pulled out his high-powered rifle from earlier. The worst part about all this really? The waiting. Russia _knew_ where he was miraculously enough, and yet, he was not upon him. Why wasn't a window or a door being torn apart by the swing of a lead pipe or an axe? Was he just trying to get in his head? Drive him mad with his already prevalent exhaustion and the waiting! Why couldn't they just bloody get it over with already?

A surprised yelp came from Canada when there was a loud smack to the front door. No more waiting apparently…

"I know you're een dere!" Russia taunted from the other side of the door, blowing the wood to splinters with a loud explosion outside, Canada probably should have figured that Russia carried an arsenal on him today.

Bracing his rifle barrel on the back of the couch, Canada took his spot, watching closely for any sign of Russia stepping into the house in the darkness. Canada almost patted himself on the back for forgetting to turn on any of the lights in the three AM darkness; if Canada would have trouble seeing him from his better vantage point, Russia would be hopeless.

Suddenly, a blinding light filled the room, a flare having been thrown in to rest on the carpet. What didn't this BAMF bring with him? Enough debating that though as Russia strolled in and saw Canada. The light of the flare cast eerie shadows across the grinning, pudgy face, making his eyes glimmer even brighter with his obvious mix of excitement and fury.

An un-aimed shot was fired from the somewhat large gun and of course it missed as Russia darted across the room for the Canadian. As it turned out, this was meant to be a close-quartered fight, such large weapons were hereto going to be useless in this enclosed space. To prevent Russia from using one of his own guns against him, as he had done in the warehouse, Canada stuffed the rifle back into his coat. A knife was brought out quickly however as Russia crashed down onto him. A flurry of fists flew through the air, both pairs _hungry _for soft, unmarred flesh of their enemy.

Amid this, Canada intentionally busted his head into Russia's, temporarily stunning them both. Canada being the one to recover first, shoved Russia off his body before punching him across the face, knife in hand and hence cutting a deep, bloody gash into his cheek.

Russia grabbed Canada's wrist and snapped it as easily as he would a twig, the pain lancing up the blonde's arm as he dropped the knife. He was thrown off him and into the next room as Russia picked up the knife and ran his tongue over the cut in his mouth. It was a little disgusting when the pink muscle poked through the hole and more than _a little _enraging.

When Russia stood Canada had long gotten to his feet, ignoring the throb of his wrist as he drew a significantly smaller weapon, the trusty handgun. That was when Russia's favorite implement of torture was brought out, his pipe. He advanced on Canada, the blonde backpedaling into the kitchen

"Yoo reeally dink dat yoo hev de _balls_ to fire dat at me?" The bigger man took a step forward.

"Wanna b-" As Canada was distracted with a comeback, the pipe crushed his fingers and sent the gun flying; he dropped to his knees, holding his hand.

"Leetle less conversation!" Russia giggled, swinging his pipe again and connecting it with Canada's already injured right arm, Canada crying out as his left side made love to the floor. Russia stalked forward, raising his pipe and getting a knife stabbed into his calf by a handful of crushed fingers. He verbally protested to the pain and took a blind swing at Canada that easily avoided it as he slid around to Russia's rear. Gripping the knife with his left hand, Canada tore down through the thick muscle before ripping it out, totally severing Russia's Achilles tendon. Underneath the cover of the pantleg, a loud pop was heard just as the tendon bunched up tightly and painfully to the gastrocnemius muscles. Russia furiously swung his pipe, Canada evading the blow once more, but with more difficulty. Least this way if it ever came to running, Russia's left leg would be near useless.

Making his way to the other side of the kitchen and furiously groping for wherever his gun had been sent, he found it as the big man got over the hurt in his leg. Many noises of a non-existential language were barked at Canada as he rose his good hand. Not used to firing anymore, Canada flinched when Russia made move to lunge at him (his left leg nearly tripping him as it was not up to the task). The bullet fired buried itself in the enemy's hip.

"_Хуесос_!" The Russian yelled, Canada fired again, the kickback making him further unsteady. All in all he squeezed off four rounds into Russia's now dramatically bleeding body before snatching up another knife from behind the overturned table and hopping to his feet. The adrenaline blocking out all his pain, Canada dodged a wild swing at him and stabbed a carving knife deep into the paunchy stomach and twisted. It seemed to not affect Russia at all (other more painful things had his brain's attention) and Canada found himself meeting the floor again when a fist said "hello" to his face. The force of the blow was powerful enough to swing Canada around a complete 180 degrees.

Pitifully, he crawled out of the kitchen towards the reading room in some futile attempt at escape. Though Russia's Achilles tendon was snapped and he had a limp to his gait, he was more than capable keeping up with the sorry creature.

Not wanting to show his unprotected back to Russia for long, Canada flipped himself back around to see his attacker. Fearfully backing away as Russia walked to stand over him, he was left to lay helpless between the man's legs. "Vhy do yoo vant to save dat vordless ding anyvay?" Russia asked, genuinely curious, spitting out some blood that had come up from his stomach and pooled in his mouth, "After vhat he has _done_ to yoo." he commented, motioning to the remains of the damage on him that he had not caused. "Plus, he's… _Veak_. _Dead_…"

"He's a better person than you could dream of being." Canada answered honestly, eliciting a laugh from Russia above him. The blood on his teeth, the way it sloshed from his mouth as he laughed, the true visage of the word "deranged". It was surreal alright and surprising that Russia was still on his feet, still had the _advantage_ over Canada despite the bullets buried somewhere in his corded muscles and the guts near about to spill from their place inside their meatsuit.

"And _dat_ makes heem vordy of _lifing_? Sorry to tell yoo Mattie, but de vorld ees survival of de feettest, da? De best at surviving are _alvays_ dose dat do not care. Prussia vas _peerless_ vhen he vas young. Den hees leetle broder came een and den eventually made heem obsoleete." Sadly, Russia had a point there, "Allies, I'm not saying dey don't hev mereets. Just certeen allies are better dan oders."

By the end of his little monologue, Canada's eyes were wide with disbelief and… Hope? Confused, Russia looked over his shoulder to get an eyeful of a Jack Daniel's bottle before it shattered, all the strongly-scented liquid splattering on the wall. As Russia was blinded, Canada struggled out from underneath him, taking the helping, outstretched hand offered to him.

"Yo Matt." Prussia greeted him, thrusting the smaller blonde back behind him protectively. In Prussia's one hand was the jagged remains of the whisky bottle neck, in his other was a can of tomatoes. At first glance, the second might have seemed like an unlikely weapon, but those things were heavy as shit!

Prussia chucked the can at Russia who had turned his alcohol-irritated reddened eyes on them and now had the definite makings of an even blacker eye. Pure rage flowing through his veins at this point, Russia lunged for Prussia, getting a clean swipe of glass across his face, splitting his already marred skin. It did little to dissuade him from continuing attacking and Prussia had to push Canada back as he took a step in retreat.

"Chrisd!" He yelled, next stabbing for Russia's neck and nicking it, blood beginning to flow down his neck and join the stain on his coat caused by the blood dripping from his face.

"Vhy do yoo hate me so Kaliningrad?" The big nation seemed to lament, swinging his pipe at them and missing both times.

"Vas I not good enough for yoo? Vas I nod nice! Letting yoo stay een my house vhile your broder vas straighteened out? Deed I not pleease yoo by _only_ fucking yoo?" Finally having backed Prussia and Canada into a corner, Prussia responed.

"You can goh drough de motions of lof, bud if dere ist noding dere bud cruelty, how cahn you **efer** be goot enough for _anyvon_?" The pipe was brought up above their heads and was ready to be sent down if not for the sudden rush of noise and people upon Russia.

America, England, Austria, France, Spain, Japan and both Italys crashed down on him. Japan had his katana fixed at Russia's throat where everyone else had grabbed an appendage and held on tight. The Italys just sat on his back, but they were helping in their own way.

Prussia blinked in confusion as all the other nations in the room yelled various things to each other while Russia struggled for freedom. The strain of his muscles gushed his blood from the various openings on his body, making a dark pool of blood spread on the blonde wood.

"Get off of me!" Russia yelled, somehow or another forcing himself up to his feet and knocking them all away. Guns clicked and all fixed themselves on Russia who could not have looked any more frustrated or defeated than he did at that moment. Drenched in his own blood, guts trying to escape through the hole in his stomach, face betraying the darkness under his usually unassuming disguise… The violet eyes flicked to Prussia, the broken whiskey bottle still held up in defense of the Canadian standing just behind him. "Traitor." he hissed, bowling his way through the crowd before fleeing the house.

America, England and France all pursued him, leaving Spain, Romano, Italy and Austria the ones in attendance. From behind Prussia there was the sound of a released breath and a thump as Matthew slid to the floor.

"What's-your-name!" Feliciano called, running over to aid him and being pushed back by Prussia. "Pru! Let me by! I need to see if he's okay!" Feliciano tried to weasel past and in the end being yanked back by Lovino.

"Coult you all… Erhm… Leaf for a momend?" Prussia _asked_, the four conceding to his request, but not without a snarky glance from Roderich. As bad a time as it was for this conversation… They really should have been celebrating, Prussia wanted to dedicate some time to the poor man on the floor behind him. Turning around to look down at Matthew, he dropped down to the floor himself, staring at the injured beauty before him. "Matt?"

The Canadian lifted his head to regard Prussia and smiled a little, "We won… If there was something to win." Prussia nodded and looked to Matthew's wrist.

"Cahn I zee id?" The request came as somewhat of a surprise to Matthew…

"Gilbert?" he asked timidly, a quaver in his voice saying he was going to break down into tears no matter what the albino said.

"_Ja_." Despite the broken wrist and crushed fingers, Matthew threw his arms around him, burying his face into the sullied clothes of Gilbert. Sobs wracked his body and Gilbert ran his fingers up and down his little lover's back, not speaking. There was a _fuck lot _they had to talk about and the least he could give his beloved was a chance to just be relieved and cry.

He lightly kissed the crown of Matthew's head and the Canadian reached up, pulling Gilbert's face down more to kiss him back. For that instant, things were okay again. None of the terrible things that had passed in the last few weeks had ever happened… Then the kiss ended and their eyes met. "I lof you, please forgif me…"

Matthew couldn't answer yet, he was still speechless at his luck and just wanted to stay in the position they were in forever.

"I neet an answer _zometime_…" Gilbert tried to prod, putting on a façade of irritation.

"I love you too." But Matthew never answered the second half. No, that would take building up to, regardless of how much Gilbert wasn't _Prussia_.

According to the rest of the people present in the house, "a moment" only lasted until two parties could say they loved each other, because all of them simultaneously filled the room again.

"Mattie, are you okay?" Alfred bounded over to them, stopped short by Kiku grabbing his arm and wrenching him back to stand next to him. Gilbert stood then, helping Matthew to his feet while his still badly injured (and, by the help of Feliciano, quickly healing) brother wheeled himself into the room. The nations present probably had him stashed somewhere to prevent further injury, but being as stubborn as he was, he wanted to be present for Russia's defeat.

The albino caught sight of the wrecked being and tears worked at his eyes where everyone else's were on him.

"We would very much enjoy an explanation, Gilbert…" Antonio broke the uncomfortable silence (probably never having felt it himself) and Gilbert returned his attention to everyone in the room.

"Oh… Er… _Hallo_… Ef'ryvon… I dink I definidly do hef zome explaining to do… Uh…" _Gilbert_ of all people being at a loss for words was indeed the sight of the century. "Vhere to begin…?" He looked back to Matt and everything seemed to become clear. "For de longesd time now… Ahll of you zeemt to dink dat I vas deat. Hell, _I_ doughd I vas deat. Bud, you know, I'm jus' fuckin' awezome und coultn't jus' _schtay_ like dat!"

"Cut th' crap an' get on with it!" Arthur cut in, getting a face from the dramatic man.

"Fine. I'm alife again." The air in the room went stale for a second, everyone just staring at him utterly dumbfounded (save for Ludwig who had obviously seen it coming). "Vell don'd you ahll ged _zoh_ excided und jump for joy ahd vonce!" Gilbert snorted and got a very meek question of "how?" from Matthew. He looked back to him and then to the group. "Kaliningrad Oblast… De lant dat has no represendadif because id vas gifen up by de von connecdet to id. Undil fery recendly. Officially pard of Russia, und today? Ids own nation because of de people in dis room." The crickets outside chirping were oddly befitting of the situation as still no one really had anything to say. Except for America, when did he ever _not_ have something to say?

"So… We've all been callin' ya by the _wrong name _for _how_ long?" Alfred dumbly asked and Gilbert sighed, irritated that he had to explain it to these people at all.

"De poind ist! I ahm alife again, ahm _independend_ und matly in lof vid dis awesome man schtanting nexd to me now!" Gilbert threw an arm around Matthew's shoulders and pulled him in to kiss his cheek. Alfred made a really annoyed noise, Kiku stopping him from taking any kind of action against this with a slap of his katana hilt against his chest. Everyone else just settled for a simple "awwww". While Matt blushed, Gilbert's hand slipped into his coat, extricating the rings. "Und by de vay!" He dropped down to one knee and held one of the tungsten bands out to Matthew as everyone else now looked both awed _and_ surprised.

Roderich was near about catching flies in his mouth it was open so wide. Feliciano squealed with delight and bounced all over the place (even over to Ludwig as in pain as he was). Lovino tried to calm him down (in his usual rude fashion) and Antonio made a happy whooping noise with Francis (who was discreetly holding hands with Arthur).

"Marry me Maddhew?" Gilbert posed hopefully. The blonde seemed to waver a little bit, appearing as though he were going to say no. Yes, this was a highly inappropriate time for this after such terrible circumstances, but Gilbert never really seemed to think straight about anything. "Please… De lasd few veeks asite, you make me de happiesd I'fe efer been und vhat happent vill nefer happen again." What was with this group and _long_ awkward silences? None of them could really ever think about when in the world it had ever been so awkward between all of them at once.

"How do you know?" Matthew finally said skeptically, averting his eyes from everyone in the room.

"Id vas broughd on by my being broughd back to being a nation. Do you realize how _confusing_ id ist to be deat and come back to life?" Well… Matthew supposed that he really didn't and he still did love _Gilbert_ more than any man in the world. The trust might have to be reworked, but he was taking back every bad thing he ever said about Gilbert in his absence as the milliseconds ticked by.

_Am I really so fickle?_ Matthew questioned himself, going over in his head the million reasons why this would be so bad to agree to. However, it only took _one_ thing to make him realize that these reasons didn't matter, "Yes." He said at long last, getting a bewildered look from Gilbert.

"You know vhat id's like being broughd back to life?"

"No! Yes to marrying you you loveable dolt!" Matthew laughed, a wide grin spreading from ear-to-ear on Gilbert, he taking Matt's pristine (if not bloodstained) left hand and slipping the ring onto the correct finger. A perfect fit.

"I love weddings! Drinks all around!" Francis cheered, no one seeming willing to join him as Matthew and Gilbert were now feverishly sucking face. It was growing increasingly obvious that neither of them would be able to do _anything_ until they got this out of the way. So, staving off the awkwardness, people all filed out quietly, leaving the two to do as they needed. Not all _quietly_ per se, Alfred was being dragged kicking and caterwauling out the door by his husband. It was quiet _after_ he had left the building though.

What had started as kissing down in the foyer of the home ended in Gilbert picking up his hurt (in many varying ways) lover and carrying him up to their bedroom. He then laid him gently down and kissed his jaw and neck sweetly, as if every inch of his flesh were a blessing to this world. Gilbert climbed over him, very careful of the hurt wrist before looking into the blue eyes of Matthew and kissing him again. His fingers ran through his blonde locks as Gilbert took off his shirt himself before helping Matthew out of his. Next, off came their pants, leaving both of them exposed completely to one another; all of Gilbert's scars (new and old), all of Matt's bruises (fresh and fading). Nothing to hide.

The love-making was slow and sincere, there would be many times after this for it just to be rough with need. Gilbert just had to show Matthew what he meant again, it was their first time all over and he wasn't going to fuck it up this time either. To be honest, Gilbert could have gotten off on the faces Matt was making _alone_. Buried deep in the back of _Prussia's_ mind, he had sorely missed the wonderful faces Matthew was capable of making. And _because _he could have orgasmed from the faces alone, he turned his face skyward and hailed a God he had never met for this wonderful gift to him.

He heard and felt Matthew come beneath him with a high and contented squeal allowing himself to open his eyes to see Matthew's moment of bliss; forcing him to his own climax at such a sight. Not wanting to ruin the perfection of their communion with anything vulgar, Gilbert didn't speak after, he snuggled into Matthew's hair and they lay in comfortable silence. No words were needed in this warm place the two of them were, their actions saying all "I love you".

()()()

As much as it would like to have been said that the "morning" after was just as awesome as the night before, it wasn't to be so. Gilbert got up that afternoon, his cell phone ringing and waking Matthew up as well.

Gilbert answered the phone and quickly found out it was his boss, they needed to have a meeting back in Kaliningrad Oblast (newly re-named East Prussia after their victory over Russia).

"I hef to goh." Gilbert informed his very groggy Matthew, it was about three in the afternoon and his new boss now needed to discuss matters with him that the "troops" were out celebrating.

"Meeting with your boss?"

"Yes." Gilbert smiled, "I hef one now." Matthew smiled back to him, sort of understanding the man's happiness at having a superior again, no matter how annoying he would probably be in the end.

"When will you be back?" he asked, not actually approving of Gilbert's already leaving him after a consummation like _that_.

"Ihn time to fuck your brains oud tonighd." Gilbert happily declared, leaning down to kiss Matthew's temple. He stood and found some clothes for himself and as he did that, Matthew's thoughts wandered. Were things back to normal? Just business as usual? Were they supposed to never speak of what happened again or was it open for discussion? He supposed he was going to have to ask Gilbert that after he got home tonight. That and _a lot_ of other things… His eyes had fallen on the glimmering ring that matched the one on Gilbert's left hand

"I vill zee you tonighd." Gilbert said with a smile, leaning down, kissing Matthew goodbye.

"Same here." Matthew agreed and the man was off… Not before locating the keys Matthew had haphazardly dropped somewhere while hauling his unconscious ass into the house earlier that day.

()()()

The meeting was long and boring as Gilbert had suspected it would be. It was mostly concerning citizenship. If you claimed Prussian heritage (being able to prove it of course) and wished to come to this nation, it would be granted. Of course it was lined up for all those faithfuls in Germany in that small town Gilbert had his home in to be admitted as citizens as they had been his soldiers (more like a very impromptu militia). Renaming everything in the country was crucial now too. The capital had been renamed Königsberg as it had been called long ago as Kaliningrad Oblast had been renamed its proper name. Plus, Gilbert at least got to keep his nation name of Prussia somehow with that name. Of course people would have probably called him Prussia anyway as nobody ever seemed too keen on calling him anything but. They recognized his greatness even when he wasn't so.

Long meeting short it was all legal shit and talking about how to organize the nation. Small amounts of troops from nearly every nation that had been present at Canada's house were everywhere and were now starting to filter out (save for the nosey Americans and the helpful Germans). Mostly filtering out as they now needed to provide aid to Germany's extensive injuries. There was always the question of what would happen if Russia ever wanted the land back, but they knew they had allies in great places.

It was getting late when Prussia felt a vibrating in his pocket. Yawning from exhaustion, he pulled the vibrating phone from his pants and saw the name "Catherine"… Groaning that he had to erase _that_ confusing mistake at earliest convenience. Figuring he could at least humor the whore, he flipped the phone open and read the message therein.

"_We /need/ to talk._" It read and he growled angrily, this was going to have to be righted and soon if nature wasn't going to take its course and kill her. Thinking for a second he typed in Matthew's usual address in Ottawa and after put "_Wednesday, five P.M. if you're late, too bad_". The reply he got was oddly concise and just "_Okay_". Gilbert sniggered to himself imagining the face she would have when she found out the situation he was in with Matthew.

"_What's so funny_?" His boss asked him at the behavior.

"_Nothing, nothing, back to citizenship_." The meeting _still_ wasn't over by the way.

()()()

Gilbert arrived back at Matthew's house in Jasper National Park at around three in the morning there. Matthew must've spent the whole day cleaning because there wasn't a speck of blood left to be seen on the walls floor or otherwise. The door, of course, hadn't been fixed yet, but spring was strongly upon them anyway, some beads just hung in the doorway as a calm breeze blew through the house. Everything would have seemed normal and idyllic if Matthew's wrist wasn't splinted and face swollen.

"Hey." The blonde greeted, shoving a last back of garbage into the kitchen, he showed no actual happiness to have Gilbert in the house.

"Zomeding wrong?" Gilbert asked, the wind caressing his back and producing a rain-like noise when the wood beads of the hanging behind him clinked together.

"We need to talk." Did he just think he was going to ignore the whole "_Gah_" that had just been their life?

"_Ja_, ve do." Matthew looked surprised that Gilbert actually wanted to talk about it, but then looked disappointed in himself. "Vhat?"

"It's nothing…" he looked focused on something else now and Gilbert felt the distance between them. Distance created by Prussia. They had been close to attached at the pelvises, hands, lips and souls before this mess and now look where they were, miles apart.

"Noh, id ist zomeding." Taking a few steps forward, Gilbert held out his hands to Matthew to take, which the blonde did, though gingerly. "Ve hef a lod to talk aboud." He pulled his lover close and gave him a sweet kiss. Under normal circumstances, Gilbert would be disgusting himself with how sweet he was, but this was one of the few times his hidden gentleness was not only warranted, but needed.

"Was all this my fault?" Matthew mumbled into Gilbert's coat.

"Noh, jus' coincidental wrong question ahd de wrong time." Gilbert moved them to the bloodstained couch in the room and sat down, both of them getting comfortable in one another's arms. "Blame dose guys vhere I lif." he chuckled a little.

"The ones that really don't like Ludwig now?" Oh shit, Matthew was going to try to leave out talking about Germany, but it had to be done sometime, so why not now? Rather than answering Matthew's question, Gilbert did exactly what he had feared he would.

"Vhy?" Gilbert quietly asked, no actual explanation for exactly _why_ what…

"I don't know… It just… It happened." More than likely, Gilbert was only referring to Ludwig's attempt at sucking him off, not them having sex. And really, it had been the one thing that truly confused the Prussian man. Through meeting after meeting, after meeting, _after meeting _it was the single most bothering question that wore away at his sanity. Gilbert knew that after his horrid behavior that Matthew deserved _something_ just... It gnawed at his gut that he didn't have the whole story. That something far worse than _that_ had happened between them. It only made his heart sink even further when Matthew continued. "And… It happened again… Just…" The blonde couldn't finish and the noise Gilbert made had his stomach clenching. His fiancé was far from stupid and his abnormally obscene mind jumped to conclusions, ones Matt wished he could say were wildly outrageous and stupid. Too bad he couldn't.

"I'm nod mad… I'm nod." Oh yes Gilbert _was_, but more at West than anyone else. "If you promise me… Id vill nefer happen again I vill take your vort for id und ve cahn moof on vid our lifes…" He was never good with moving on with something like this in all actuality. Being a man that was _always_ someone's last in love or in sex he had never had to deal with someone being stolen away from him. Sure, Austria and he fighting over whose right it was to raise Germany was one thing, this was another. All of his problems always seemed to stem from that little, bleeding creature whose life he saved and nurtured all those years ago... Anyway, this was something that would always burn in his gut, he knew he shouldn't feel betrayed by either of them, but it didn't stop him from feeling that way. It would be locked away in the back of his mind as a sight he would forever wish to unsee, the one memory he wish his mind would let go of permanently... Never again would he be able to see Matthew the same.

"It was a mistake." Matthew told him, "Never again." he felt like he needed to add something else, "I promise." Matthew on the other hand, felt this was all going too well. It was too easy to gain Gilbert's forgiveness, somewhere he felt that his would-be spouse hated him...

"Goot, nexd subjecd." It almost annoyed the Canadian how eager he was to move along. He wasn't going to complain, however, not when the wounds were still so fresh, "De men ihn de town in West's lant ahre Prussian loyalists lifing vidin Germany." Gilbert informed him, "If dey hadet _Westen_ den dey ahre a bid _too _loyal, or jus' schtupit."

"No offense but I think-"

"De latter ist more likely?" Gilbert finished for him and smiled, Matthew chuckling at how easy it had been for him. Of all the stupid little inanities that marked their relationship, Matthew figured the one he missed the most was their constant completing of each other's sentences. As annoying as everyone else in the world thought it was, he always had thought it was cute. They had done it while they were just friends as well and now they more often than not knew what the other was thinking not just saying. It was proving right the theory that intimate others most often mirrored each others speaking styles.

"Yeah." They kissed, Gilbert peppering Matthew's face with more of them.

"Zoh! I vas dinking, how aboud an early Fall _vedding_?" The albino quirked his eyebrows at his future husband and Matthew made a face suggesting deep thought.

"I more liked the idea of a _spring_ wedding." The clueless look on Gilbert's face was as cute as Matthew remembered it being.

"Bud I don'd vant to vaid a year!" he stridently complained.

"Gilbert!" Matthew shut him up right quick before Gilbert could go off into something rather unmanly, "Gilbert… What is the season right now?"

The albino thought for a second, "Schpring?"

"Yeah, aaaaand?" It took the Prussian a moment to connect the dots and in the end, happy recognition lit up over his face. "It's not like I want some big extravagant wedding. We can pull one off before Spring is over."

"Agreet!" Their lips were glued together again and joyful hands began to roam. Too bad they hadn't finished their talk yet, but they figured it could wait for a few minutes… Or an hour.

()()()

By Tuesday the house out in Jasper had been all cleaned and their items moved back to the comfy home in Ottawa. Things had been going smoothly the past few days (except for the bear that chose to make itself known down in the kitchen Monday night, they had no door after all…); Gilbert left in the morning to attend to nation business but always managed to return at night to be with Matt.

Once Wednesday rolled around, Gilbert managed to wriggle his way out of work at around three and made it back to his love's home by four. The announcement he carried with him of the whore's coming to visit didn't amuse Matthew in the slightest.

"I dink you ahre failing to zee de poind hier. I'fe hat sex vid her _twice_ und she's schtill nod deat." Gilbert attempted to get Matthew to understand. Rather than respond, Matthew stalked from the room, "Vaid! She'll leaf us alone vonce ve talk!"

"You're a nation! Nobody but your boss can make you do something you don't want to do! If you really didn't want to see her, you wouldn't have answered that text!"

"Ahren'd you jus' de _leasd_ bid curious?"

"Admittedly, yes, but just… God, whatever." Matthew headed into the kitchen to make an early dinner for them.

Which, during said dinner, five o'clock rolled around and there was a knock at the door. Gilbert pushed the plate of food away and stood, beckoning Matthew after him. Begrudgingly, Matthew obliged and followed him out into the entrance hall, standing just behind him as the door was opened.

The woman's striking looks caught even Matthew off guard, there was no denying that she _was_ truly beautiful. And undeniably the slightest bit familiar…

"Come ihn." Gilbert smiled nastily at her and she took a few tentative steps in. "Nice to zee you Caderine." Judging by Gilbert's expression and the man standing at his shoulder, the _rings_ they both wore that had not been there a few days ago, she had just walked in on an otherwise happy couple.

"Hello Gilbert…" Catherine looked to Matthew, "Hello, uhm… I'm-"

"Catherine, I know." Politely, Matthew held out his hand to her and they shook briefly.

"Gilbert and I have some… Pressing matters to discuss…" Her piercing blue gaze fell back on Gilbert and now that he had the ability to compare eyes, what he saw shook him to the core.

"Excuse me for a second miss, have we ever met before?" Matthew asked, Catherine looking him up and down for a second or two.

"I don't think so."

"I must be imagining things then." An eerie sinking feeling settled into Gilbert's stomach at the exchange and he felt like he was missing some crucial piece of the puzzle here. "Well, actually… What's your last name?"

"Leveque." An awful look came over Matthew's face then, not awful as in horrified, just a look of grim, intense surprise.

"Vhat's wrong Madd?" Gilbert asked, eyes flicking between the now very confused Catherine and despondent Matthew.

Inside his blonde head though, Matthew was yelling at himself. A million questions being risen, "How old are you?" Matthew asked next, getting a terribly offended look from Catherine.

"I beg your pardon!"

"Just answer him." Gilbert sighed, wanting to quickly know just what the hell had Matthew so spooked.

"Thirty…" Her eyes shifted suspiciously around as Gilbert moved to usher then both into the living room of the home across from the kitchen.

"How old is your mother?" Matthew pleaded.

"She died when I was seventeen…"

"_Of_!" He was growing more frantic, his heart hammering away in his chest like a hummingbird's.

"Heart failure! Calm down you're starting to freak me out here!"

"How old was she when you were born?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"How old?"

"She was almost twenty-seven…" Now the look on Matthew's face was of sheer terror, Gilbert just looked so confused. Quickly he sped back through his memories to see what significance was held fifty-six years ago. It must've been locked within the details of speech because Gilbert found nothing historically useful. "Look, you're really freaky, I just came here to talk to Gilbert, can I, please?" Jerkily and still unsure, Matthew nodded, beginning to inch away from them, tears welling up in his eyes.

Pretty sure that Matthew was checked out in his own mind, Catherine tossed something to Gilbert. Now, at first it looked like some sort of plastic wand with a pink plus-sign on it in this tiny window thing and it confused him for a second. After his brain had time to let the gears turn he found himself in much the same state that Matthew was in now. Blank and empty, nothing on his body moved, even his heart seemed to stop, skipping a beat.

"No condom honey… Babies tend to happen." Matthew's head lifted minutely at this statement, color draining from his face. No…

"Bud… Bud dat vas only a few days ago! Dis hast to be a fa-"

"Our _first_ time! I thought my period was late the day you came to see me the second time… I panicked and bought a test… Okay, ten tests… They all said the same thing." Gilbert dropped the pregnancy test to the floor and Matthew had risen his head up a few more inches to regard them both in utter horror. His skin tone about a shade whiter than Gilbert's.

"I… I…"

"Gilbert… I like you… I do…" Her hand snaked off her lap and laid over his frozen fingers, Matthew so wrapped up in his own horror and grief that he couldn't react. "If you want to keep it… And be a part of its life, _you_ _can be_." Silence reigned through the house neither of them able to speak.

"I haf a chilt…" Gilbert said, fear, joy and sorrow all in his strangled voice. "Maddhew! I haf…" The look on Matthew's face stopped Gilbert from saying more. What it said scared him more than anything in the world.

"Gilbert. It's the kid, or me. You can't have both." The blonde growled.

"Oh my…" Catherine now felt exceedingly awkward, but it was the same choice _she_ was going to pose before Gilbert.

"Maddhew, don'd you-" Gilbert _tried_ to explain.

"Who are you choosing?" Matthew yelled.

"I cahn'd jus' led de kit die!"

"So you're picking it? A thing you have never met, a thing that might _die_ in the womb… Picking _her_, over me? Me? Who just went through hell for you?" Matthew furiously screamed, outraged as his emotional wounds had only just begun to heal.

"You'fe lift a long life!" Gilbert stopped him, "It has yet to-"

"Get out of my house! You whores!" Matthew stood, grabbing Catherine by the wrist and throwing her into the entrance hall. Gilbert ran after the incubator of his child, keeping her from falling over. "I don't want to hear what you have to say you promiscuous lothario!" A hockey-stick appeared from nowhere and was risen in anger against his most loved man.

Quickly, picking up Catherine, Gilbert fled the house with her, Matthew slamming the door behind them and snapping his hockey-stick over his leg. Sobs wracked his body again, as he sunk down to the floor. Yes, it may have been _irrational_ to act that way, but didn't _he_ take precedence over an embryo in the belly of a _worthless _woman?

_Worthless?_ Matthew's internal dialog chastised him, _She's Lillian's granddaughter… _Threading his fingers up into his strawberry-blonde hair, the tears stopped, he shouldn't be crying. _His_ granddaughter was pregnant with the seed of his now ex-fiancé. A great-grandchild was going to be born to him in nine months and Gilbert's first child… Agony descended upon him once again this month he just asked what the hell he had ever done to deserve this…

()()()

Alcohol heals all pains. Time and time again it made things seem alright. Hurt after hurt that the world could deal to him, it was always there. He took down a few shots at his usual bar. People there asked where Gilbert was and he didn't respond. People asked where _he_ had been and he just said "vacation".

This shitty life he now had… He didn't cry, (wouldn't cry for about nine months) no matter how bad things hurt. Like a joke that's so funny you can't even get an audible laugh out for about ten seconds, this was something that hurt so much you couldn't cry.

"Hey Matthew…" The blonde lifted his head to see none other than Frederick Stoughton sitting next to him. "You look terrible."

"My fiancé just left me. Wouldn't you think I would be?" Matthew snarkily replied, picking up another drink and downing it, dropping the shot glass back to the bar. Frederick for a few moments wasn't able to properly articulate much of anything. He had expected anything _other_ than that. "Oh and by the way, don't bother asking me to come home with you tonight either, my answer is still **no**."

"Calm down Matthew, that's not why I'm here." Rick assured, leaning on the bar. "I'm not here to be some proverbial tempting snake. I don't come to you again and again as the monster that makes God angry at his children, but I come to you as a friend that is willing to let you come to him." Matthew opened his mouth to say something very Gilbert-like but Rick spoke first "Come to me as a friend in need of comfort, that is."

Matthew groaned and through the haze of his alcohol thought of Frederick as thoughtful.

"So, knowing that. How about you put the liquor down and spend the night at my place?" The seconds ticked by and Matthew groaned in a tired way.

"Why not?" he said simply and Rick grinned.

"I promise you, you won't regret it."

()()()

"_This is the way you left me,  
__I'm not pretending.  
__No hope, no love, no glory,  
__No Happy Ending._"-Mika

()()()()()

Notes:

Господин Германия_-_Gospodin Germany-Mister Germany

Lutsch mein Schwanz-Suck my dick

Fahr zur Hölle-Go to hell

Fick dich-Fuck you

Хуесос-Huyesos-Cocksucker

So, this is the end of Throwback ;) There is still a sequel coming for anyone that doesn't totally hate me for the end of this one. There will be a little bonus chapter in this one that will probably be posted in the next couple days and I will start the sequel when I start the bloody sequel! So, yes, this is _majorly _important for me to know what all of you thought. Was it weak, was it predictable, **I WANT TO KNOW EVEN IF YOU HATED IT**! Then again, if you hated it you wouldn't be reading this I guess.

/EDIT/

Minor revisions have been made as well as expansions in other parts.


End file.
